It Can Work For You!
By Chornyi
Not mine.. Not even Ian, unfortunately. You know whose they are.
My first attempt at humor.. Got the idea and couldn't resist. Hope the fans of my more serious work aren't disappointed.. :) Will post more if people like it.
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Prologue
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Ian opens the door of the mansion and steps outside. He is wrapped head to toe in black- black pants, black shirt, long black coat. Black gloves on his hands and black knit watch cap pulled over his wavy dark hair.
It has been a while since he has left the mansion- he has been avoiding going out for fear of being compelled to seek out Sara Pezzini.
The last time they saw each other, she killed his father AGAIN, not to mention, witnessed him in a compromising position with Lucrezia Borgia..
Okay he didn't really DO anything with Lucrezia.. much.. but Sara doesn't know that.
The look she gave him when last he saw her promised him unpleasant remarks on her part when they meet again.
But he is running low on groceries.
He hates to cook, so he mostly keeps the mansion kitchen stocked with ramen noodles and Chef Boyardee canned ravioli- his favorite. He still has a few cans left, but not enough for the week. And he only ever shops once a week. It gives the store keepers time to get over him.
Besides that, he has a sudden desire for fresh fruit.
Grapes.. Bananas.. Oranges. Maybe even strawberries.
He never leaves home without a minimum of 3 guns and at least 7 knives, not to mention his katana, but today he is feeling reckless- he's only brought 1 gun, two knives and the katana.
Usually all it takes is a LOOK to get a nice discount off his shopping bill, but you never know when you might need a few weapons.
Ian almost yawns as he closes the door to the mansion. Only his rigid control keeps his jaw from moving. He has been up all night.
If Sara asked him, 'Had any dreams lately?' the answer would have to be 'Yes.'
It gets harder and harder for him to ignore the dreams. They tell him he and Sara belong together.
He wonders if perhaps she has forgiven him yet. Maybe it is time to go and see her again. Perhaps she has missed him..
He almost stumbles over the package as he trots down the steps.
It is a small, square parcel wrapped in plain brown paper and tied with twine. Yet Ian's heart gives him a jolt of excitement. Almost reverently, he kneels and picks it up in his gloved hands.
A SUPRISE PACKAGE. He's heard of these but never received one.
He looks around, but there is no one else nearby to claim the parcel. It must truly be for him. His lips curl into a tiny smile.
In Ian body language, that is pretty close to glee.
Holding the package protectively against his chest, he ducks back into the mansion.
The suspense is almost unbearable. Should he open it now.. Or save it for later?
Now! Now!
His gloved fingers tear at the wrapping, and it falls apart to reveal a book. A small book with a sunny yellow cover embossed with a glossy black happy face on the front. Large red words across the front of the book read 'Your Guide To A New Life!'
Ian turns the book over. The back reads, 'Learn how to express your inner self and find happiness in emotional cleansing in 5 easy steps. Stuck in a rut? Want to change your life? This is the book for you!'
Almost tentatively, Ian opens the cover and turns to the first page...
---
By Chornyi
Not mine.. Not even Ian, unfortunately. You know whose they are.
My first attempt at humor.. Got the idea and couldn't resist. Hope the fans of my more serious work aren't disappointed.. :) Will post more if people like it.
...................................................................................
Prologue
---
Ian opens the door of the mansion and steps outside. He is wrapped head to toe in black- black pants, black shirt, long black coat. Black gloves on his hands and black knit watch cap pulled over his wavy dark hair.
It has been a while since he has left the mansion- he has been avoiding going out for fear of being compelled to seek out Sara Pezzini.
The last time they saw each other, she killed his father AGAIN, not to mention, witnessed him in a compromising position with Lucrezia Borgia..
Okay he didn't really DO anything with Lucrezia.. much.. but Sara doesn't know that.
The look she gave him when last he saw her promised him unpleasant remarks on her part when they meet again.
But he is running low on groceries.
He hates to cook, so he mostly keeps the mansion kitchen stocked with ramen noodles and Chef Boyardee canned ravioli- his favorite. He still has a few cans left, but not enough for the week. And he only ever shops once a week. It gives the store keepers time to get over him.
Besides that, he has a sudden desire for fresh fruit.
Grapes.. Bananas.. Oranges. Maybe even strawberries.
He never leaves home without a minimum of 3 guns and at least 7 knives, not to mention his katana, but today he is feeling reckless- he's only brought 1 gun, two knives and the katana.
Usually all it takes is a LOOK to get a nice discount off his shopping bill, but you never know when you might need a few weapons.
Ian almost yawns as he closes the door to the mansion. Only his rigid control keeps his jaw from moving. He has been up all night.
If Sara asked him, 'Had any dreams lately?' the answer would have to be 'Yes.'
It gets harder and harder for him to ignore the dreams. They tell him he and Sara belong together.
He wonders if perhaps she has forgiven him yet. Maybe it is time to go and see her again. Perhaps she has missed him..
He almost stumbles over the package as he trots down the steps.
It is a small, square parcel wrapped in plain brown paper and tied with twine. Yet Ian's heart gives him a jolt of excitement. Almost reverently, he kneels and picks it up in his gloved hands.
A SUPRISE PACKAGE. He's heard of these but never received one.
He looks around, but there is no one else nearby to claim the parcel. It must truly be for him. His lips curl into a tiny smile.
In Ian body language, that is pretty close to glee.
Holding the package protectively against his chest, he ducks back into the mansion.
The suspense is almost unbearable. Should he open it now.. Or save it for later?
Now! Now!
His gloved fingers tear at the wrapping, and it falls apart to reveal a book. A small book with a sunny yellow cover embossed with a glossy black happy face on the front. Large red words across the front of the book read 'Your Guide To A New Life!'
Ian turns the book over. The back reads, 'Learn how to express your inner self and find happiness in emotional cleansing in 5 easy steps. Stuck in a rut? Want to change your life? This is the book for you!'
Almost tentatively, Ian opens the cover and turns to the first page...
---