The Importance of Sunday
By—Mip The Demon Fox. =.=
"Oh isn't church nice Phil?" The old woman put a hand on her husband's shoulder, making him snort and wake up.
He shook his head, blinking his eyes, and just agreed with whatever his wife asked, as usual. They were in a large cathedral on Sunday morning. Stained glass poured multicolored lights onto the pews and created a halo around the choir standing up front with their large silk robes on. They weren't singing the praises but were obediently listening to the "stirring" monotone of the preacher's voice as he explained about the history of their religion.
Children fidgeted, adults waved papers to cool themselves off, elderly woman with white poofy hair sat rapt in attention… most of the time. Phil was not a good example of a church going person. He found it slightly boring. He was Christian and all but he didn't care about all the symbolism worked into the bible. He thought he understood it just fine.
Demons and devils? Hah! No such thing! Just things meant to scare the young'ns into submission.
"Hell." The preacher said dramatically as possible for only one syllable, "A place for the damned… beware of the devil's temptations or you shall be damned to hell."
The children poked their mothers to ask if the preacher was cussing while the rest of the church continued to listen.
However, the riveting speech of damnation and hellfire was offset when the large double doors at the back of the room. The loud sound of the doors hitting the walls echoed through the cavernous room until the population of the church turned around to look at the cause.
Two forms were framed by the light outside. Two people who hardly looked like they should be setting foot inside a church. The girl had skin tight leather pants and a leather and lace top that was just as tight fitting. Her long blonde hair stirred for a minute while the air was sucked into the building from outside. The man standing next to her was no better.
Dressed head to toe in red and black material, obviously (or so they thought) dyed white hair, and a sinful smirk were the defining features of the man. It didn't hit them for a minute or two that this duo was heavily armed.
"Hello!" The man said with a short wave, "just stay where you are, we'll be gone in a second." With that said he reached to his belt and pulled out one silver gun and pointed it straight at the preacher. The entire congregation gasped dramatically.
There was a deafening boom as the man pulled the trigger without a second thought, the first sound was soon followed by an unearthly screech. The preacher blinked, looking at the black demon guts that covered most of him. He stood there for a moment, looking at the dead monster behind him and then back at the red man before he promptly passed out.
The woman jogged up the aisle and kicked the hunk of demon meat and examined the perfect bullet hole in its forehead. "Well, it's dead."
"Good!" The man spun the gun around his finger once before putting it back safely in its holster. The two got a chance to look at the shocked congregation then exchanged a look with each other.
"Ladies and Gentlemen!" the woman called, raising her hands into the air, "We are from…uh…" she sent a look to the man who just shrugged, "A-a-animal control! Please do not be alarmed but this, uh," she looked down at the creature, "dog, was chasing people, we had to use desperate measures. Thank you for your cooperation."
Just as she finished her small speech the monster behind her exploded into dust and flames, creating the perfect ending. The man reached up, grabbing her by the arm and made their hasty exit. The door boomed as they left and Phil grinned and settle back into his seat.
"You were right Edna, I really do like church."
--End…?
Ah, I'd totally forgot about this thing. I went digging through my computer one night and found this in some unmarked folder. Yippee. This was so fun to write . Just a small one shot to clear my head. Hope it was funny to someone else. I would highly appreciate a Review if only to say "OMG! I Luved it!" or "You suck, unplug your computer before you give someone brain damage". Or not…Whatever .
Oh yeah, I don't own DMC but it was a good game… not including the second one … which royally sucked. Woo hoo. I wonder how many people I've insulted with this… -- Oh well…