Harry walked down the corridor, sandwiched between his two best friends, as they made their way down to the Great Hall for dinner. It was the first time since Remus' death that Harry had decided to join the rest of the school for a meal. He had benefited greatly from the week off of regular classes and had spent the time remembering Professor Lupin and healing from his broken relationship with Draco.
He now felt reasonably able to rejoin his friends and attend classes, and was sure that he could face Draco without breaking down or feeling hurt and betrayed. He had put it behind him...he hoped.
Harry entered the Great Hall and forced his eyes to stay trained on the Gryffindor table, he didn't want to tempt fate by even glancing over at the Slytherin side. He was disgusted with himself for even wanting to.
"Welcome back, Harry!" Seamus grinned, as Harry sat himself down on the bench.
Harry returned the friendly smile and folded his hands on the table as he waited for Dumbledore to take his seat and signal for the food to appear.
He stared hard at his hands and restlessly picked at a hangnail, fervently praying that Dumbledore would hurry up and sit down. He could almost feel the weight of those grey eyes on him from the Slytherin table.
Draco watched Harry intently as he entered the Hall and sat down with his Gryffindor friends, he saw him keep his eyes on his table alone, not sparing even a glance over at himself or the rest of the Slytherins. He knew he shouldn't feel hurt by it, it was his own fault after all, but he desperately wished that Harry would look over at him like they use to when they exchanged secretive glances all through every meal, stares laced with amusement and happiness, and love. Now he was left with nothing but the cold reality of being purposefully ignored.
Harry breathed a sigh of relief as the food magically appeared in front of him. The mixture of aromas was intoxicating as he took in the sight of all the dishes heaped with loads of delicious looking food.
"Harry, do you want some mashed potatoes?" Ron asked, picking up the casserole dish and holding it out to him.
"Yes, thanks" Harry smiled, as he grabbed the dish and spooned some of the creamy white potatoes onto his plate.
"Carrots?" Hermione offered on his other side.
Harry nodded and held his plate out as she loaded the brightly coloured carrots onto it.
"Roast chicken?"
"I am able to get my own food, you know" Harry laughed as Ron started sliding the tender meat onto his rapidly filling plate.
"We just want to help. You've hardly eaten anything this past week and now you need to thoroughly indulge yourself" Hermione smiled.
Harry grinned and bit into the roast chicken hungrily. He really was tired of the small scraps of food that he had scrounged from the kitchens in the past week and was definitely ready to eat these large meals with the rest of his house again.
He began to feel a sense of normalcy as he listened to the amiable chatter around him, the usual talk about their first quidditch game the next day, how horrible Snape was treating them, and the unfair amount of homework they were expected to get done each week.
He filled his stomach until it felt ready to burst, then sat back and sighed contentedly.
"Feel better?" Hermione asked, watching his satisfied expression.
"Yes" Harry nodded as he looked at her, knowing full well that she wasn't just talking about the food.
Hermione smiled in relief and gave his arm a squeeze. Ron smiled as he watched Harry return to the way he use to be, like his best friend before all the Malfoy business started. The redhead glanced over at the Slytherin table and frowned when he saw Malfoy sneaking quick glances over at Harry when he thought no one was looking.
Seamus followed Ron's angry gaze and shook his head in disgust. "I hear Malfoy and that Pansy girl are an item now."
Harry dropped his fork with a loud clatter.
"Seamus!" Hermione hissed angrily. "Have you ever heard of tact?"
"What?" Seamus asked bewildered.
"It's okay" Harry said, picking up his fork and trying to regain his composure. "You don't have to avoid talking about certain subjects around me, I'm really okay with it."
"Sorry, Harry" Seamus apologized, realizing his mistake. "I just forgot."
"I said it's no problem" Harry shrugged. "I'm getting tired so I think I'll just go to bed now. I have to get some sleep before the game tomorrow anyway."
"Harry-"
"Its fine, Hermione, really."
Hermione chewed on her lip worriedly as she watched Harry quickly leave the Hall, again keeping his eyes reverted to the floor.
"Way to go, Seamus" Ron accused sarcastically.
"I forgot" Seamus shrugged in embarrassment.
The rest of the Gryffindors started talking noisily again as Ron shuffled closer to Hermione. "What do you think?" he whispered.
"I think we should just leave him alone, this is something he needs to deal with by himself."
"Are you sure? He just seems so distant lately, I don't want him thinking we're not here to talk to if he wants."
"I know what you mean" Hermione frowned. "He's kept himself so isolated from everyone lately."
"Except for that Ethan guy" Ron pointed out.
"Hmm...."
"What? You think he has something to do with this?"
"I don't think so, at least Harry's talking to someone. I think it's healthy for him to have Ethan as a friend right now, maybe it'll turn into something more."
"Yeah, and he'll be much better for him than that stupid prick Malfoy" Ron said vehemently.
Hermione nodded in agreement.
* * * * * * * * *
Harry gripped his broom tightly as he surveyed the game around him. They were losing to the Slytherins, twenty to eighty, and Harry was desperately searching for the golden snitch as he flew around the pitch.
He was eternally grateful that Draco had quit the Slytherin team, as he found it hard enough to concentrate knowing that the blond was sitting in the stands somewhere watching his every move.
Ethan flew next to him and smiled. "How's it going, Harry?"
"I'd be a lot better if you lot weren't kicking our asses" Harry called back.
"Just let me know if you see the snitch."
Harry laughed.
The two separated and continued to patiently circle the pitch.
Draco kept his eyes glued to Harry as he watched the game. Pansy hung smugly on his arm and kept her gloved hand in his.
Lucius Malfoy sat behind them and smiled in satisfaction at the sight of his son with Ms Parkinson. He had heard some strange rumours about his son's...preferences and had decided to come watch the game and visit Draco himself.
Severus Snape sat beside Lucius and frowned as he witnessed Draco's attitude towards Pansy. He knew Draco was living a lie and felt for the boy whose father would never accept him for who he really was. Draco was doomed to live a life according to his father's wishes and there was nothing he could do about it. He was glad that the boy's little infatuation with Potter had ended, it wasn't safe for anybody and would've only ended in disaster.
Up in the air, Harry was still circling and keeping his eyes peeled for the tiny winged ball. The score was now sixty to eighty.
Then he saw it, that glint of gold that could only mean one thing; the snitch. He lay flat to his broom and flew at breakneck speed towards the other side of the pitch. Ethan wasn't even close and would never make up the distance in time. Harry gritted his teeth and veered downwards as the snitch changed direction and flew towards the grass field below. Like almost every game Harry played in, both teams stopped to watch his amazing flying ability as he concentrated on catching the snitch.
It looked like the snitch was about to slam into the ground and Harry prepared himself for a sharp swerve upwards at the last second. He reached out and grabbed the tiny fluttering ball tightly, then wrenched his broom handle upwards as hard as he could, the tail end just brushing the grass as he soared back up.
The stands exploded in cheers and Harry happily hugged the rest of his team as they surrounded him in the air.
Draco restrained himself from cheering for Harry as he caught the snitch. He was happy that Harry was moving on and returning to the things he loved, even though it hurt to see him letting go.
"Stupid, Potter" Pansy muttered.
Draco nodded and looked back at his father.
"I'm glad you've decided to concentrate on your studies, Draco" he said with a slight curl to his lip. "This really is a sport for simpletons and mudbloods."
Lucius stood up and wiped the dust from his robe disdainfully. "Come Draco, walk me to the door."
"Yes, sir."
Draco pulled his hand from Pansy's vice-like grip and stood up.
"Goodbye, Ms Parkinson" Mr Malfoy nodded in farewell.
"Goodbye, Mr Malfoy" Pansy answered respectfully. "I'll see you later, Draco."
Draco glared at her behind his father's back as they turned to leave.
"Aren't you going to kiss me goodbye?" she demanded in her screechy spoiled voice.
Draco turned angrily, that was not part of their deal.
Pansy smirked expectantly as Mr Malfoy turned to wait for his son.
Draco knew he was trapped.
He walked forward and wrinkled his nose in disgust as he leaned forward and touched his lips to Pansy's. Pansy crushed her mouth against his and wetly kissed him back, her arms trying to pull him closer. Draco felt like gagging as he felt her lips touch his. It felt so wrong. He had only ever kissed Harry and the difference was amazing; where she was cold and controlling, Harry was gentle and warm. There was absolutely no pleasant melting feeling at all, only utter and complete abhorrence.
Draco pulled his mouth away and narrowed his eyes at Pansy's smug grin. He turned and followed his father as they trailed after everyone else out of the stands.
Pansy turned and her smugness increased when she spotted Potter on his broom staring in shock. She winked at him and then practically skipped out of the stands.
Harry didn't care that he was being obvious about the hurt Draco had just caused him by kissing Pansy in front of him. He flew towards the ground and ran into the quidditch shed, throwing his broom across the room and letting the snitch fly out of his grasp. His broom hit the wall and fell to the floor with a loud clatter as he kicked the bench in anger and humiliation.
He threw open the door again and walked back outside. Hermione and Ron were running breathlessly towards him as he crossed the grounds.
"Harry, wait!" Ron called.
Ron reached out and grabbed Harry's shoulder to stop his headlong flight.
"Just leave me alone!" Harry ordered loudly, twisting his shoulder out of Ron's grasp.
"But-" Hermione started.
"Spare me your well-meaning lecture this time, Hermione," Harry shouted angrily. "I don't want to hear it."
Hermione stopped in shock and Ron put an arm around her shoulders comfortingly.
"Just let him blow off some steam," he said wisely, watching Harry stalk angrily towards the lake.
* * * * * * * * *
Harry paced back and forth in front of the huge willow tree on the outskirts of the lake. He pulled off his arm pads and threw them to the ground, then his shin pads, making sure each item was thrown with full force.
The tears forming in his eyes made him even angrier and he kicked the tree trunk in frustration, over and over, his foot jarring painfully with every hit. He finally fell to the ground in exhaustion and buried his head in his knees, sobbing uncontrollably.
He couldn't believe that Draco would flaunt his relationship with Pansy in his face right after he had lost Remus. He obviously didn't know him as well as he thought he had.
"I hate my life" he choked.
"Harry?"
Harry sniffed and looked up, his expression softening when he saw Ethan standing over him looking concerned.
"Do you want to talk?" he asked gently.
"Not really" Harry sighed, wiping his nose on his sleeve.
"Do you want me to leave?"
"No..."
Ethan smiled and sat down beside him, staring out at the lake silently and letting Harry think in peace.
"I just feel so alone" Harry said quietly after awhile.
"You're not alone" Ethan assured him gently.
Harry looked at Ethan thoughtfully, taking in his hazel eyes and light brown hair, his high cheek bones and full lips. Ethan was a very attractive boy and Harry wondered if maybe he was the answer to all his problems.
"Thanks for always being there for me, Ethan" he said gratefully, still staring into his hazel eyes.
Ethan smiled and knew as he returned Harry's intense gaze, that this was going to be the turning point of their relationship. "There's no place I'd rather be. Come here."
Harry shuffled over and let Ethan wrap his arms around him, his body warm against his own.
"I really do care about you, Harry. I wish I could protect you from all the pain in your life, it hurts me to see you like this" Ethan muttered soothingly into his hair.
Harry sat up and looked into Ethan's face. Ethan paused, then slowly bent his head down and touched his lips to Harry's.
Harry closed his eyes and revelled in the comforting touch of someone's lips against his own, someone who sincerely cared for him. He craved the love and affection that he had been missing all his life and that he thought he had found in Draco before it had been cruelly ripped away from him. He just wanted to love and be loved in return.
"Is this okay?" Ethan asked.
"Yes...this is just fine" Harry smiled slowly.
Ethan returned the smile and held Harry to him again as they sat together in silence.
Harry sighed and felt a glimmer of hope that maybe his life wasn't complete crap after all.