The engulfing brilliance had dimmed to a soft glow that came from the
roaring fire and lit candles. Sara looked around the spacious room, her
eyes immediately falling at the quarreling couple. Sara, a bit surprised,
stood aside from this vision. As a bystander, Sara watched Cathain and
Ewan's heated argument. "I don't trust him, Cathain." Ewan stated.
"I do! You do not know him as I do, Ewan. He's a good man with a good heart." Cathain said defending Conchobar.
"He betrayed you!"
"He had to make a choice, Ewan. It was either the crown or me." The hint of disappointment in Cathain's voice was evident. She tried to hide it but Ewan picked it up. He moved to Cathain, wrapping his arm around her waist, bring her closer to him. Cathain moved willingly into Ewan's arms, she always welcomed the security of his embrace even before they were lovers. With the back of his knuckles he gently stroke up and the side of her face. He lifted her chin with his fingers as he spoke, his voice lowered so that only Cathain could hear, and "If it were me, my love there would have been no choice to make. I would have gladly forsaken my birthright if I could not have you by my side." Cathain's smile soon faded as Ewan leaned down to brush his lips against hers. She placed a hand behind his head, weaving her fingers into his hair, holding him in place. They continued to kiss until the necessity to breath pulled them apart.
Cathain sighed as she pulled away. Opening her eyes to stare deeply into the dark richness of his. So much love and devotion projected in those eyes of his. Cathain never thought such an uninhibited love existed but here it was, staring at her in the face. Even with her time with Conchobar, she never felt this way. She cupped the side of Ewan's cheek, letting her fingers wander into the mass of his dark beard. Ewan closed his eyes and happily leaned into her touch. Cathain knew she loved Ewan but she was so afraid to tell him. The last time she told someone she loved him he left her. Then those she loved dearly were slowly taken away from her, ripped away by death. The pain was just too great she did not want to take that chance again.
For a time she kept her distance from Ewan being down right harsh and mean anything to keep him away. Yet no matter how cruel she was towards him he was still there, never once was there a hint he was going to leave. Over time, he had grown on her and they had become friends. Cathain still tried to keep her distance, reassuring that they were only friends and nothing more. Pushing him away when things them were growing too serious between them. She knew he was increasingly becoming frustrated with her but he continued to stay.
Then one night their physical attraction could not be denied, a night of passion had culminated into something Cathain was not ready to deal with. That night Ewan had told her that he loved her and in return, she told him that she cared. She knew it was not something he was expecting but it was the best she could do. She could not tell him, she just couldn't. She held back because she was too afraid. Too afraid to open her heart again only to have it broken. Maybe one day she would have the courage to tell Ewan, but for now, it was not going to be today.
Cathain continued to caress his cheek, "Ewan, please do this for me." His eyes opened to the pleading sound of her voice. Fears that had been suppressed over the years have returned to haunt him. Doubts began to arise as bits and pieces of his conversation with Lazar that night he returned ran in Ewan's mind.
~~What would happen if she fell in love with someone else?~~
Ewan reached for Cathain's hands, holding them firmly in his. Afraid that if he let her go she would leave him. He took a deep breath and stared deeply into her eyes.
"Do you still love him, Cathain?" Ewan tried to conceal the twinge in his voice. His question caught Cathain off guard and it took her a moment to answer. She shook her head and narrowed her eyes. Her mouth began to move but no words were uttered. When finally she found her voice she cleared her throat and spoke, "Why are you asking me this?" Ewan inwardly winced at her tone. "Because I want to know, Cathain. Do you still love him?" Ewan's concern grew every second he waited of her answer. ~~What would happen if she fell in love with someone else?~~ And if she still loved Conchobar, wanted to be with him, would he be able to step back and let them have their love? The very thought was killing Ewan inside.
"Answer me, Cathain!" Ewan's patience was waning thin. Cathain pulled her hands free from his. Angry that he would ask such a question. "I will not answer, Ewan. You are just acting like some jealous, immature, child!" Cathain snapped, taking a step back. Ewan nodded his head, his heart starting to feel heavy. "Then I will ask you another question." Ewan paused.
~~What if she does not return your love? ~~
"Do you love me?" The sound of his hopeful voice pulled at her heart. Cathain shut her eyes against the longing in his eyes, letting out a sigh. She was not ready, she just wasn't ready. "Now is not the time to discuss such matters, Ewan. We have to decide," before she could say anything more Ewan cut her off.
"We've never discussed this, Cathain! When the 'matter' arose, you simply avoided it. Tell me, tell me what must I do to gain your love Cathain and I will do it!"
"You don't understand, Ewan."
"How can I understand if you keep shutting me out?"
"This isn't easy for me. Just give me time, Ewan. Please?" Cathain pleaded as she looked up him, her eyes glazed with tears. Quickly he was at her side, his hands cupping her face. "I have and will always love you, Cathain. Yet, my patience grows thin and I do not know how much more my heart can take. But I will wait just please don't take too long my love." He leaned in and brushed his lips against hers. Ewan sighed and turned to leave the room. Just as he closed the door behind him, a voiced stopped him cold in his tracks.
"Cathain doesn't want you." Ewan turned, angrily staring at Conchobar who was leisurely leaning against the wall. "Why would she want you when she can have me. Do you honestly think she will chose you, an orphaned boy, over a king?" Ewan knew Conchobar was only baiting him for a fight. "You're wrong. Cathain loves me." Conchobar chuckled as he pushed off from the wall. He walked over to stand in front of Ewan. "Does she know? Tell me, boy. Has Cathain ever told you she loved you, hm?" Pain flashed in Ewan's eyes and Conchobar caught it. "You want to know why she hasn't told you that she loves you, Ewan? Its because she still loves me, she always will." Ewan knew it was a lie. Cathain loves him, right? Conchobar continued with his insults, "Just because you've shared her bed doesn't mean anything. She'll soon forget about you when I'm done with her." Finally, something snapped and before neither, one realized what was happening Ewan swung a fist across Conchobar's face.
The sickening sounds of Conchobar's nose breaking echoed in the empty hallway. Ewan delivered another blow to the gut, and a whooshing sound was heard as air was forced out of Conchobar's lungs. Ewan grabbed the collar of Conchobar's shirt and swung him around, pushing him through the door. The loud crash made Cathain jump. She turned around in time to see Conchobar sprawled onto his back; blood from his nose covered most of his face. "Ewan!" She yelled but her cries were ignored as Ewan advanced on Conchobar. He picked the man up from the floor with ease, "She will never love you, boy." Ewan sneered, seeing only red. He delivered another punch to the face and let the man fall back down. Ewan towered over Conchobar's prone body, his chest heaving up and down from the rush of adrenaline.
Cathain rushed over to Ewan, roughly pushing him away from Conchobar. Ewan was pulled from his angered state as he staggers backwards from her force. He blinked back, watching as Cathain knelt beside Conchobar. "What were you thinking?!" Cathain demanded. Ewan's anger rising to another level as he watched the woman he loves aid his enemy. "Conchobar? Conchobar are you alright?" Cathain immediately by his side helping him roll onto his back. He whispered her name, "Cathain?" He reached out to grab her hand. She gave his hand a light squeeze and said, "I'm right here." Every part of his body ached but Conchobar never felt none of the pain, he was too happy with what happened. Now Cathain will see the kind of man her Ewan really is and cast him aside.
"Cathain?" Ewan called out to her.
Cathain quickly got up and pounced on Ewan, her green eyes flared. "What is the matter with you?! How could you do this to him!?" From behind Ewan could see the smug smile on Conchobar's face as he lie there. Ewan ignored Cathain and made a move towards him. The distinctive sounds of the blade were heard and Cathain held the gauntlet across her chest. Her other hand held Ewan firmly in place. Ewan looked at Cathain incredulously, "You would lift the blade against me?" His voice was hoarse and rough with anger.
"I would use it to knock some sense into that thick head of yours. Stop this! You are acting like a jealous child. Conchobar has done nothing to you."
"He has done more then you think. He will betray you, Cathain. He is just using you for the Llan An Cailleach. You are just to damn blinded to see that. He doesn't love you, he lusts after the power, after the blade, not you." Ewan knew his words had hurt Cathain but at the moment, he did not care. He was too angry and hurt to be reasonable.
"Leave!" Cathain demanded, tears already welling in her eyes. When Ewan made no move, she pushed at this chest. With the blade active on her arm, the force from the push sent Ian reeling backwards. "Leave now, Ewan. Return when you've regained your senses, then we will talk." Cathain returned to Conchobar. He immediately reached for her hand. "Don't leave, Cathain." She gave him a reassuring smile, "I won't leave you, Conchobar. Come on lets get you cleaned up." She said as she tried to help Conchobar to his feet. Ewan's head lowered, his heart sank as he listened.
~~And what if she does not return your love? What would happen if she fell in love with someone else? Then what, Ewan?"~~
Without another word, Ewan left them alone in the room and headed for the stables. "Liam ready my horse I'm going out for a ride." Ewan bellowed the order to the stable boy. The boy shot up and prepared Ewan's horse. He cautiously watched Ewan, in obvious anger, pace back and forth. Liam wondered what would have angered his master so. Instead, he held his tongue; he was going to find out eventually. Liam looked up at the night sky, it was a bit cloudy and the moon was high. Perhaps tonight was not the best night for riding. He looked back up to see the red ring around the full moon; Liam was beginning to have a bad feeling,
"Liam!" Ewan's voiced pulled the boy out of his trance. The boy handed the reins over to Ewan who quickly mounted his horse. "Sir," Was as far as Liam got as he tried to protest the nights ride.
"I do! You do not know him as I do, Ewan. He's a good man with a good heart." Cathain said defending Conchobar.
"He betrayed you!"
"He had to make a choice, Ewan. It was either the crown or me." The hint of disappointment in Cathain's voice was evident. She tried to hide it but Ewan picked it up. He moved to Cathain, wrapping his arm around her waist, bring her closer to him. Cathain moved willingly into Ewan's arms, she always welcomed the security of his embrace even before they were lovers. With the back of his knuckles he gently stroke up and the side of her face. He lifted her chin with his fingers as he spoke, his voice lowered so that only Cathain could hear, and "If it were me, my love there would have been no choice to make. I would have gladly forsaken my birthright if I could not have you by my side." Cathain's smile soon faded as Ewan leaned down to brush his lips against hers. She placed a hand behind his head, weaving her fingers into his hair, holding him in place. They continued to kiss until the necessity to breath pulled them apart.
Cathain sighed as she pulled away. Opening her eyes to stare deeply into the dark richness of his. So much love and devotion projected in those eyes of his. Cathain never thought such an uninhibited love existed but here it was, staring at her in the face. Even with her time with Conchobar, she never felt this way. She cupped the side of Ewan's cheek, letting her fingers wander into the mass of his dark beard. Ewan closed his eyes and happily leaned into her touch. Cathain knew she loved Ewan but she was so afraid to tell him. The last time she told someone she loved him he left her. Then those she loved dearly were slowly taken away from her, ripped away by death. The pain was just too great she did not want to take that chance again.
For a time she kept her distance from Ewan being down right harsh and mean anything to keep him away. Yet no matter how cruel she was towards him he was still there, never once was there a hint he was going to leave. Over time, he had grown on her and they had become friends. Cathain still tried to keep her distance, reassuring that they were only friends and nothing more. Pushing him away when things them were growing too serious between them. She knew he was increasingly becoming frustrated with her but he continued to stay.
Then one night their physical attraction could not be denied, a night of passion had culminated into something Cathain was not ready to deal with. That night Ewan had told her that he loved her and in return, she told him that she cared. She knew it was not something he was expecting but it was the best she could do. She could not tell him, she just couldn't. She held back because she was too afraid. Too afraid to open her heart again only to have it broken. Maybe one day she would have the courage to tell Ewan, but for now, it was not going to be today.
Cathain continued to caress his cheek, "Ewan, please do this for me." His eyes opened to the pleading sound of her voice. Fears that had been suppressed over the years have returned to haunt him. Doubts began to arise as bits and pieces of his conversation with Lazar that night he returned ran in Ewan's mind.
~~What would happen if she fell in love with someone else?~~
Ewan reached for Cathain's hands, holding them firmly in his. Afraid that if he let her go she would leave him. He took a deep breath and stared deeply into her eyes.
"Do you still love him, Cathain?" Ewan tried to conceal the twinge in his voice. His question caught Cathain off guard and it took her a moment to answer. She shook her head and narrowed her eyes. Her mouth began to move but no words were uttered. When finally she found her voice she cleared her throat and spoke, "Why are you asking me this?" Ewan inwardly winced at her tone. "Because I want to know, Cathain. Do you still love him?" Ewan's concern grew every second he waited of her answer. ~~What would happen if she fell in love with someone else?~~ And if she still loved Conchobar, wanted to be with him, would he be able to step back and let them have their love? The very thought was killing Ewan inside.
"Answer me, Cathain!" Ewan's patience was waning thin. Cathain pulled her hands free from his. Angry that he would ask such a question. "I will not answer, Ewan. You are just acting like some jealous, immature, child!" Cathain snapped, taking a step back. Ewan nodded his head, his heart starting to feel heavy. "Then I will ask you another question." Ewan paused.
~~What if she does not return your love? ~~
"Do you love me?" The sound of his hopeful voice pulled at her heart. Cathain shut her eyes against the longing in his eyes, letting out a sigh. She was not ready, she just wasn't ready. "Now is not the time to discuss such matters, Ewan. We have to decide," before she could say anything more Ewan cut her off.
"We've never discussed this, Cathain! When the 'matter' arose, you simply avoided it. Tell me, tell me what must I do to gain your love Cathain and I will do it!"
"You don't understand, Ewan."
"How can I understand if you keep shutting me out?"
"This isn't easy for me. Just give me time, Ewan. Please?" Cathain pleaded as she looked up him, her eyes glazed with tears. Quickly he was at her side, his hands cupping her face. "I have and will always love you, Cathain. Yet, my patience grows thin and I do not know how much more my heart can take. But I will wait just please don't take too long my love." He leaned in and brushed his lips against hers. Ewan sighed and turned to leave the room. Just as he closed the door behind him, a voiced stopped him cold in his tracks.
"Cathain doesn't want you." Ewan turned, angrily staring at Conchobar who was leisurely leaning against the wall. "Why would she want you when she can have me. Do you honestly think she will chose you, an orphaned boy, over a king?" Ewan knew Conchobar was only baiting him for a fight. "You're wrong. Cathain loves me." Conchobar chuckled as he pushed off from the wall. He walked over to stand in front of Ewan. "Does she know? Tell me, boy. Has Cathain ever told you she loved you, hm?" Pain flashed in Ewan's eyes and Conchobar caught it. "You want to know why she hasn't told you that she loves you, Ewan? Its because she still loves me, she always will." Ewan knew it was a lie. Cathain loves him, right? Conchobar continued with his insults, "Just because you've shared her bed doesn't mean anything. She'll soon forget about you when I'm done with her." Finally, something snapped and before neither, one realized what was happening Ewan swung a fist across Conchobar's face.
The sickening sounds of Conchobar's nose breaking echoed in the empty hallway. Ewan delivered another blow to the gut, and a whooshing sound was heard as air was forced out of Conchobar's lungs. Ewan grabbed the collar of Conchobar's shirt and swung him around, pushing him through the door. The loud crash made Cathain jump. She turned around in time to see Conchobar sprawled onto his back; blood from his nose covered most of his face. "Ewan!" She yelled but her cries were ignored as Ewan advanced on Conchobar. He picked the man up from the floor with ease, "She will never love you, boy." Ewan sneered, seeing only red. He delivered another punch to the face and let the man fall back down. Ewan towered over Conchobar's prone body, his chest heaving up and down from the rush of adrenaline.
Cathain rushed over to Ewan, roughly pushing him away from Conchobar. Ewan was pulled from his angered state as he staggers backwards from her force. He blinked back, watching as Cathain knelt beside Conchobar. "What were you thinking?!" Cathain demanded. Ewan's anger rising to another level as he watched the woman he loves aid his enemy. "Conchobar? Conchobar are you alright?" Cathain immediately by his side helping him roll onto his back. He whispered her name, "Cathain?" He reached out to grab her hand. She gave his hand a light squeeze and said, "I'm right here." Every part of his body ached but Conchobar never felt none of the pain, he was too happy with what happened. Now Cathain will see the kind of man her Ewan really is and cast him aside.
"Cathain?" Ewan called out to her.
Cathain quickly got up and pounced on Ewan, her green eyes flared. "What is the matter with you?! How could you do this to him!?" From behind Ewan could see the smug smile on Conchobar's face as he lie there. Ewan ignored Cathain and made a move towards him. The distinctive sounds of the blade were heard and Cathain held the gauntlet across her chest. Her other hand held Ewan firmly in place. Ewan looked at Cathain incredulously, "You would lift the blade against me?" His voice was hoarse and rough with anger.
"I would use it to knock some sense into that thick head of yours. Stop this! You are acting like a jealous child. Conchobar has done nothing to you."
"He has done more then you think. He will betray you, Cathain. He is just using you for the Llan An Cailleach. You are just to damn blinded to see that. He doesn't love you, he lusts after the power, after the blade, not you." Ewan knew his words had hurt Cathain but at the moment, he did not care. He was too angry and hurt to be reasonable.
"Leave!" Cathain demanded, tears already welling in her eyes. When Ewan made no move, she pushed at this chest. With the blade active on her arm, the force from the push sent Ian reeling backwards. "Leave now, Ewan. Return when you've regained your senses, then we will talk." Cathain returned to Conchobar. He immediately reached for her hand. "Don't leave, Cathain." She gave him a reassuring smile, "I won't leave you, Conchobar. Come on lets get you cleaned up." She said as she tried to help Conchobar to his feet. Ewan's head lowered, his heart sank as he listened.
~~And what if she does not return your love? What would happen if she fell in love with someone else? Then what, Ewan?"~~
Without another word, Ewan left them alone in the room and headed for the stables. "Liam ready my horse I'm going out for a ride." Ewan bellowed the order to the stable boy. The boy shot up and prepared Ewan's horse. He cautiously watched Ewan, in obvious anger, pace back and forth. Liam wondered what would have angered his master so. Instead, he held his tongue; he was going to find out eventually. Liam looked up at the night sky, it was a bit cloudy and the moon was high. Perhaps tonight was not the best night for riding. He looked back up to see the red ring around the full moon; Liam was beginning to have a bad feeling,
"Liam!" Ewan's voiced pulled the boy out of his trance. The boy handed the reins over to Ewan who quickly mounted his horse. "Sir," Was as far as Liam got as he tried to protest the nights ride.