You Still Have All of Me
Part 4
By: Silverstar
Thanks to all who reviewed. I knew guilt-tripping you guys would work...^^ hee hee. Okay, so here's the 4th part!
Disclaimer: I don't own Charmed! ^o^
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It has been one week since I have visited the doctor, and in my hands I now hold a bottle of hope. With some persuasion, I convinced my sisters and Doctor Rune to let me have the medication after only one evaluation, one session. I'm still required to visit the doctor once a week, but I now have small white pills of happiness. It is important to take them on routine, my good doctor says. It is important to only take two per day, she also recommends. I don't actually think a small pill twice a day can help me...but I guess I shall find out. She says to take one pill in the morning and one at night. This is suppose to get me through the day and through a night with no fears, no dreams, and no disturbances. Maybe it will help...maybe. I think this as I head downstairs with Wyatt in my arms. Entering the kitchen, I see both Page and Phoebe sitting at the table finishing their coffee.
"Good morning!" Phoebe greeted, standing as I entered to get the bottle she had prepared for Wyatt.
"Good morning," I replied, taking the bottle from her and sitting down to feed my son. It had been a rough night, but knowing that today I'd start on my meds made me feel a little better. When I was done feeding Wyatt Phoebe waved me farewell, and I waved back as she made her way out the front door.
"I have to go too hun," Paige said, grabbing her jacket and purse as she stood from her seat. "Don't forget your pills," she then reminded me, handing me the bottle that had been sitting in the medicine cabinet.
"I won't," I replied, hugging her goodbye with one arm as Wyatt clung to my other side. Looking down at the bottle, I smiled as I put Wyatt in his highchair and then opened up a bottle of water. Twisting open the top of the pill bottle, I took a pill and threw it into my mouth, drowning it down my throat with a gulp of water a second later. Once that was finished I put the medicine back into the cabinet and made some toast. The warm toasted bread tasted good as I sat at the table, drinking my decaf coffee and watching Wyatt play with the cheerios I had given him. Still, while the thoughts of my sisters and Wyatt made me smile…I didn't feel any different. Well, I had to get through the day anyway. When I finished my breakfast I picked up Wyatt and headed upstairs. After putting him in his playpen I grabbed the baby monitor and then left to take a shower. The day went by as usual, and although I felt no different mentally, I noticed that throughout the day I didn't get tired as easily and I had more energy to play with Wyatt. Also, with my being sick the Club had been slipping. Phoebe and Paige had been helping me with the books, but they never really knew what they were doing. After putting Wyatt down for his nap around one, and made my way downstairs and worked on my papers for the club for about an hour until Wyatt woke up. As I was upstairs changing him, I heard someone moving around in the kitchen. After finishing up with Wyatt, I picked him up and made my way downstairs.
"Hello?" I called, walking into the kitchen to find Paige digging through the refrigerator.
"Oh, hey Piper," she said, closing the fridge with some leftover pizza in hand.
"Whatcha doing?" I asked, and she just smiled as she sat down to eat.
"I skipped lunch so I could come home early to see you," she admitted as I handed her a diet coke and she thankfully opened it and took a drink.
"You know you didn't have to do that," I replied, sitting down across from her while sitting Wyatt on my lap.
"I know," she told me, putting her pizza down and reaching her hand over to place on top of my free one. "But, how do you feel? Any better?" I smiled at my sister and then glanced down at Wyatt before looking back up to her.
"I don't know…I do feel less tired and like I have more energy…but nothing else has really changed."
"That's all right," she told me. "It usually takes about a week before the medicine fully works. Give it time."
"All right," I said, smiling at her. "Anyway, I have to get to the club today to see how everything is and to drop off this paperwork. Will you drive me?"
"Sure," Paige agreed as she put her plate in the sink and got up to grab her jacket and purse. I followed suit, putting my jacket on and then getting Wyatt into his. Five minutes later we were out the door, Wyatt was in his car seat in the back of my jeep, and Paige and I had climbed in the front.
"Thanks for driving," I said.
"Sure," she replied. "You shouldn't be driving anyway being new to the medication." We drove in silence as we made the familiar turns towards P3, and when we got there I quickly unbuckled my seat belt.
"Can you stay in the car with Wyatt?" I asked. "I won't be more than five minutes. Paige nodded, and I smiled at her as I got out of the car and headed into my club. Upon entering my spirits rose at the sounds of preparation for the band that night. Two seconds after I entered as I was heading for my desk in the back room my manager Julie came rushing towards me.
"Piper! I'm so glad you came in!" she exclaimed, and I turned to smile at her. "Are you feeling better? Your sisters said you were sick."
"Oh, yeah, I'm fine," I said, half-lying and half telling the truth. "I can't stay long, but I wanted to put this info into the computer and make sure everything was going okay." As I said this I entered my office and, turning on the light, I looked around and saw that everything was the way I had left it.
"Piper, why don't you let me enter those numbers into the computer. You can go check up on everything else. The band's information in on the bar."
"Thanks," I said, turning and heading back to the bar. A few of my other employees were rushing around making preparations, but when they saw me they all smiled and waved my way. Smiling back, I waved to all of them in return and then picked up the band's info. After making a quick call to the manager to confirm they were still coming, I looked over the bar's supplies to check inventory and then went to find Julie. She was just finishing up with the computer when I entered. "Everything looks fine," I said, handing her the folder with the band's info in it and the inventory checklist. "You did a great job. I can't thank you enough."
"Oh, no Piper, it wasn't all me. Your sisters...helped...too..." I stared at Julie for a second and then rolled my eyes.
"Come on Julie, we both know my sisters try...but if it were up to them to run this club then it would go out of business in a matter of days." Julie laughed at my statement and nodded.
"I suppose you're right. Are you coming by tonight?"
"Probably not, but I'll stop by tomorrow or on Monday."
"Okay, rest up," she told me as I made my way to the door. "You still look tired."
"Thanks Julie, I'll talk to you later." I waved as I walked out the door towards my car and was about to turn forward when I bumped into someone and fell to the ground. "Oh...Sorry," I mumbled, grabbing for my purse and putting its contents back inside as quickly as I could.
"That's alright, I wasn't looking either," a deep voice answered, and glancing up, I gasped at what I saw...light brown/blond hair...green eyes...tall...a kind gentle face...Looking up, I saw my husband standing above me, and my heart stopped. "Ms...Are you alright?" he asked, but I couldn't get Leo's image out of my head. The next thing I knew I was staring into Paige's eyes. Shaking my head, I saw her leaned down in front of me while holding Wyatt.
"Piper...Piper? Are you okay?" she asked.
"Oh...Yeah," I answered as she helped me to my feet with her free hand. "I'm so sorry," I told the man standing there, who now at a closer look didn't look quite like Leo's twin.
"Oh, that's alright," he said, smiling as he handed me my cell phone that had landed by his feet. "Hey...are you the owner?" he asked, indicating the club behind us.
"Oh, yeah," I answered, taking my phone from him and putting it into my purse.
"That's great," he said excitedly. "I called earlier about the job add in the paper and Julie said to come by when the owner was around, but you haven't been here when she has told me to come back."
"Oh, I'm sorry..." I hesitated, not knowing his name, but he smiled and offered me his hand.
"It's Robert," he answered.
"Robert...Hi, Piper Halliwell," I said, shaking his hand as I introduced myself. "Yes, well I'm very sorry I haven't been around. I'm actually on my way out now, but if you want to stop by tomorrow around six, I can interview you and we can do a tryout at the bar."
"That would be great," he said, obviously excited. "I'll see you tomorrow then?"
"Yes, I'll see you tomorrow," I replied as I followed Paige back to the car and got in the side door as she put Wyatt into his car seat. A minute later Paige was in the driver's seat, and although the key was in the ignition and the engine was running, the car wasn't moving forward.
"Piper...Are you okay? You sat on the ground there for like two minutes straight...That guy probably though you were having a seizure or something." I just shook my head and then looked over at Paige.
"It was nothing...I'm fine," I said as my chest tightened with pain, and sorrow whelmed up inside of me as I thought of Leo.
"Piper...I saw the resemblance too." My head jerked up at these words and I stared at Paige.
"You..."
"Yes...He looked a lot like Leo. That was it, wasn't it? You were in shock...you thought it was him for a second..."
"Yes," I admitted. "But...I'm fine now. You broke me out of my trance."
"Either way Piper, I don't think you should hire that young man. He'll cause you too much stress." I nodded, agreeing with Paige as she started to drive home. She was right...but although I knew it would cause me pain to see him and be reminded of Leo...just having someone near that looked like him would make me feel that he was close too. I guess I'd just wait to see if he was okay on the job tomorrow. I wouldn't be able to let go of anyone who would be able to make drinks and clean the tables. I needed all the help I could get nowadays. We got back to the manner around three thirty, and while Paige went up to her room, I put Wyatt in his playpen and sat down for a moment. My head was pounding from the encounter and maybe even as a side effect of the medication...I didn't know. Either way, I took some aspirin and made my way over to the couch so I could lay down. That's where Paige found me when she came downstairs holding a bag full of objects from her room.
"What's all that?" I asked, opening my eyes when I heard her and sitting up to get a better look.
"It's just some stuff that helped me when I was depressed." Intrigued, I slid over so she could sit next to me on the couch and watched as she pulled out object after object. "This is a yoga and meditation mat," She said, placing it on the floor. "You can use it for either. Here's another one, and here's some soothing music," she continued, pulling out a tape. "I can teach you to meditate. It really helped me to clear my mind and I think it might help you."
"Okay," I said, unsure but willing to take Paige's advice. "What else do you have in there?"
"Well, I have a bottle of aspirin, some heating pads, a fluffy blanket, and...well, this is kind of stupid, but this is my little teddy bear that my parents gave me as a kid. It always helped if I held it...I felt closer to them. So, maybe if you're feeling sad and you hold it, you'll feel closer to me...?" I smiled, taking the bear from Paige and looking it over before setting it in the pile around our feet.
"Thanks Paige, it means a lot," I said, giving her a hug before hearing a whine coming from the other room. "Oh, duty calls," I said, getting up and making my way towards Wyatt as Paige put everything back in the bag.
"I'm putting this in your room!" she called. "I can teach you to meditate later!"
"Yeah, later!" I called back, reaching my son and picking him up into my arms. He quieted immediately and I smiled down at him. "Just lonely, huh?" He giggled in response as I carried him into the kitchen and took a cookie out of a jar sitting on the table. Then, walking back over to his playpen, I set him down in it and handed him the cookie. He took it happily and munched in silence while I turned on the television and switched the channel until I found a kids show. "Will you watch for a while honey?" I asked, and he stared up at the television while eating his treat in silence. Taking that as a yes, I bent down to give him a kiss on the forehead and then turned to go upstairs. Entering my room, I found Paige organizing the meditation mats on the floor.
"Oh, hey," she said, looking up as I came in. "How's Wyatt?" I smiled as she said this, and walked over to sit down on the bed.
"He's fine. Just got lonely for a minute, but I gave him a snack and turned the TV on. He should be fine for a while." Paige nodded, getting up off the floor and walking over to my stereo to put the tape in.
"Then we'll have time. Come on, I want to show you," she insisted as the music came on and she pulled me down onto a mat next to her.
"Paige, I have a headache," I complained, starting to get up again, but Paige pulled me back down as I did so.
"Then it's the perfect time to start. Meditation helps you to relax, and without tension there won't be a headache." I sighed, but knowing that she wouldn't give up and that it might help, I gave in and settled down on the mat with my legs crossed. "Okay, now sit up straight and put your hands on your knees," Paige instructed, and I followed her instructions. "Now close your eyes…relax your shoulders…and breathe in for a count of three. One…two…three…" I breathed in slowly, listening to Paige's voice…but all I could think about was the time Leo made me blow up my guru… "Now exhale to the count of five…" Paige was instructing me, but I barely heard her. "One…Two…" Leo's voice filled my head as I remembered when I first developed my power to blow things up. He entered our room full aware that I was dangerous, and he put his arms around me… "Piper! Piper, exhale!" I heard Paige shouting at me, and all of the sudden I realized that I was still holding my breath. Releasing it all at once, my eyes popped open and I gasped for air as Paige pulled me to my feet and sat me on the edge of my bed. As I refilled my lungs with air Paige disappeared, and a second later she was sitting by my side with a glass of water. "Here, take small sips," she instructed, and I took the glass from her as she put her arm around me and I drank the water.
"Thanks," I replied as I handed the glass back to her and breathed slowly in and out.
"Piper, what happened?" she asked, setting the water on my dresser and then sitting back down next to me.
"It…It's…" I shook my head, getting up and making my way downstairs.
"Piper!" Paige called after me as I walked into the sunroom to get my son. He was sitting down watching the cartoon rabbit on the screen, but upon seeing me he pulled himself up on his feet and reached his arms out towards me. Turning the television off, I picked him up into my arms and then went out the back door. Taking a deep breath, I sat down in a chair on the deck and held him close. Seconds later I heard the door open and then creak close. Paige stood there, looking over at me for a minute, but I didn't care. I just held my son close and looked up into the sky, searching for some sign of my husband. Feeling something covering my hand, I looked over to see Paige kneeling next to me, her hand on mine, and her free hand on Wyatt's shoulder. I sighed, and then leaned back in the chair and closed my eyes.
"I just needed some fresh air," I mumbled.
"Wyatt too?" she asked, and I nodded.
"Wyatt too." We sat in silence for a moment, and then I opened my eyes and looked at Paige. "I'm fine…It's okay," I told her as she picked up Wyatt and walked around the deck, finally stopping in front of me as I stood up. "It's just…well, you weren't here then…but when I first developed the power to blow things up…well, I freaked out. My powers were out of control and I was blowing things up all the time. I really was dangerous to be around… So, I locked myself in my room and was using this guru tape to try to relax…Leo orbbed in and surprised me, making me blow up my guru…" My eyes teared up as I said this and I looked down as tears threatened to overflow from my eyes. "I told him to go away…that I wasn't safe…But he sat down next to me anyway and put his arms around me. He convinced me to come out of our room and continue my life…He wasn't afraid…" I looked up at Paige, and her face showed me that she felt guilty and sorry.
"Piper…I'm so sorry…I didn't know. Why didn't you tell me?"
"No, please don't feel responsible Paige. It's not you fault," I told her as I sat down again and she sat beside me. "It's just a memory that came to mind after we started. I haven't even thought about it since the day it happened…"
"Yeah, I know how memories like those can pop into your head when you least expect them," she said, I smiled over at her as I dried my eyes and regained my composure.
"I'm sorry Paige, I know you were just trying to help. I really shouldn't get so worked up. The memories I have with Leo should make me stronger…not weaker. I'll try harder. Can we start again? I know I can get it this time."
"Sure," Paige answered, and we both got up and went back inside. After putting Wyatt down into his playpen and turning on the TV again, I followed Paige upstairs and we both sat down on the floor. She turned the music on as I got situated, and we started again.
"Okay…now take a deep breath…1…2…3…okay, now release," she told me, and this time I concentrated and let nothing else distract me. "Okay, good," she told me. "Now…repeat…" And I followed Paige's lead as we breathed in and out with the music. My mind slowly cleared, and soon the only thing I felt was the beat of my heart, the movement of my chest as it moved up and down, and the nothingness in my mind. My body was in a cycle, and as I continued the breathing it became automatic to my mind. A loud noise broke me from my trance, and my eyes popped open and looked around. The music had stopped playing and Paige was no longer in the room. Glancing at the clock, I saw that it read six o'clock! I had been in my trance for a long time!...probably asleep for most of it. Slowly getting up, I stretched my stiff arms and legs and then picked up both mats and put them in the corner of my room with the rest of Paige's stuff. Then, after taking a few breaths, I exited my room and walked downstairs. I found both Paige and Phoebe in the kitchen with a fed and happy Wyatt.
"Hey girl!" Phoebe said, giving me a smile. "You must've fallen fast asleep." I shook my head, still confused about what had happened, and looked at Paige.
"It's okay hun, don't worry about it. I heard Wyatt fussing through the baby monitor and didn't want to disturb you. Phoebe just got home." I nodded, sitting down next to Phoebe at the table while Paige continued to clean up Wyatt's dinner. "How do you feel?" she then asked, looking over to me.
"Actually…very relaxed," I replied with a smile, and then turned to Phoebe. "Paige was meditating with me," I told her. "I think I got into it a little too much though…" I said, smiling at my sisters, and Paige laughed.
"There's no such thing," she told me. "You just looked so peaceful…I didn't want to disturb you. I'm sorry I probably broke you out of it when I dropped Wyatt's bottle."
"That's alright," I said. "I was getting stiff from sitting on the ground anyways." Paige nodded at my remark and then sat down across from Phoebe and me.
"So, what do you two want to do for dinner?" she asked, and I shrugged as Phoebe got up to pick Wyatt up from his highchair.
"I don't care," she said, bringing him over to the table with us. "I just want to spend some time with this little guy." I smiled at her comment and watched Wyatt giggle as Phoebe talked to him in her little baby voice.
"Well, I'm just going to order a pizza," Paige said, reaching for the phone. "You'll both want some, cause tomorrow I'm going shopping and we're going to eat healthy from now on."
"What?" Phoebe asked, lifting her head at the word 'healthy' and talking in her regular voice.
"It's better for our bodies to eat healthier," Paige explained, and Phoebe and I looked at each other in shock as Mrs. Lollipop herself talked 'healthy' to us. "Also, healthy foods have proven to help people feel more lively and happier." Oh…so this was a ploy to get me to feel better…Well, I guess if it would help…
"Whatever," Phoebe said, turning back to Wyatt. "I can eat all the junk I want at work anyways." Paige rolled her eyes at this remark as she got up to call the pizza place and I smiled at Phoebe and Wyatt. At least I knew that if one day I couldn't be here, he'd have a loving and happy home with her, and with Paige too. It made me feel more secure and safe...And those were good feelings.
TO BE CONTINUED...