You Still Have All of Me

Part 6

By: Silverstar

I hope everyone liked that Piper/Leo moment, and I assure you that there are more to come. Thanks for your feedback!

Disclaimer: Charmed isn't mine...

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beep...beep...Beep...Beep...BEEP...BEEP...Uhhh...what was that annoying noise...trying to find the strength to open my eyelids, I noticed the pounding ache in my head, only worsened by that horrendous beeping. Taking a small breath, I attempted to relax and think. What had...Remembering my encounter with Leo, I quickly opened my eyes to look around. Bad idea. The light was blinding, worsening my headache, and I quickly shut my eyes again. From what I had seen...I was...I was in a hospital. That's right...the pills...At this memory, thoughts of my sisters raced through my head and a dread formed in the bottom of my stomach. How could I face them? They must've been so worried. As I sat in silence, listening to the beeping equipment around me, I thought back on Leo. He hadn't been angry at my actions...and when I had looked into his eyes, I had seen something similar to understanding. He knew why I did what I did, and he didn't blame me for it. He felt the same way as me...and maybe had had similar urges to do what I had...but he understood the bigger picture. He held on because he was an Elder, a husband, and a father. He still had to look after us, even if it was from afar. I had to live by his example. It would be hard...but...he was still living despite the pain I had seen in his eyes.

As I thought on Leo I felt tears forming under my eyelids, and an overwhelming want for my sisters came over me. Placing my hands over my eyes, I began to cry softly. I cried for my loss and my weakness...I cried for my husband and my son...and I cried for my sisters, wanting their kind words and gentle smiles so badly. Not much time had passed before my thoughts ceased as I felt someone placing their hands over mine. Allowing the person to lift them from my tear-filled eyes and wet cheeks, I opened my eyes and saw above me my littlest sister. She smiled down gently at me, and when I saw what I had been wanting...when I saw her reassurance...I slowly smiled in relief. A second later her arms were around me and I cried in relief as I hugged her back.

"Paige..." I began, a smile on my face as I saw the weary but glad expression in her eyes. "I...I'm so sorry...I...I don't know what-"

"Shhh," Paige said softly, silencing me. "It's okay, you don't have to give excuses to me." Leaning back, she looked into my eyes and then began to laugh as tears fell down her cheeks. "I'm...I'm just so happy that you're okay..." she whispered while wiping the tears off of her face. "I was...I was so worried."

"No...Paige..." I started, but she stopped me with the movement of her hand and sighed in content.

"I don't want to hear it. You've taken care of me since I've become a part of your family...and now I will take care of you."

"Paige...you tried before...and it...it didn't work. It's time to let me take care of myself...or at least try." She smiled at my words, but then shook her head.

"Nope, I'm not going to leave you alone. Phoebe and I weren't watchful enough. We failed you as sisters, and we won't do it again. No matter what you do, you will have our overwhelming help and support." I smiled at these words, and again broke down into tears.

"When I woke up...all I wanted was to hear that from you...and from Phoebe. I wanted to see you...and wrap my arms around my little sisters. Paige...thank you..." I collapsed into her arms again as she leaned back next to me and soon my tears ceased. "Paige...where is Phoebe...?" I asked, wiping my eyes as she got up from my bed and walked over to open a window and let in the morning air and sunlight.

"She'll be here soon," Paige replied, turning to face me. "Piper...we were so worried about you. When we walked in the house and saw you lying unconscious in a heap on the floor...shattered glass...and you were bleeding...we didn't know what to think. The doctors said you overdosed...and all I could think was, why hadn't I seen the signs...?...why hadn't I watched you more carefully...?...We thought we might lose you...and we didn't know what to do...But around three last night, the doctors told us you were recovering. Piper...you don't know how relieved..." She stopped as she turned to look out the window, and when she turned towards me again there were tears in her eyes. "Anyway, I sent Phoebe home in a taxi and then left here around seven this morning to take a shower. She should be here soon. She was going to leave home soon after me." I smiled at this news, but with all of the excitement I had forgotten my condition. Shifting around and sitting up had made my head pound, and in a second I was holding my stomach. "Are you okay?" Paige said suddenly, coming towards me with concern.

"Yeah..." I managed to get out before putting my hand to my mouth. Getting the hint, Paige pushed the "Call Nurse" button and raced to the bathroom in search of a bucket. She made it back in time, but I found myself only gagging as my stomach heaved back and forth. The nurse came in a second later, and upon seeing the predicament, rushed towards me to hold my hair back.

"She'll be fine," I heard her saying to my sister. Two long and terrible minutes later, my stomach quieted and I laid back in exhaustion. "Ms. Halliwell, I see you've woken up," the nurse said, placing her cool hand on my forehead as she looked me over and read some of the instruments to my left. "It's normal for you to feel dizzy or nauseous for a few days. We had to pump your stomach lest night." She looked at me for a second and then turned to Paige. "It's a good sign that she's woken up so soon," I heard her say to my sister. "It's important to keep her awake and alert..." I heard her say again to my sister as my eyes started to close in exhaustion and fatigue.

"Piper!" I heard Paige say loudly, and my eyes jolted open as I looked around.

"Wha...What's the matter?" I asked, looking around for the cause of her loudness, contributing to my headache.

"Piper honey, the nurse said you need to stay awake so the doctor can look you over," I heard her say, but I shook my head as my eyes began to close again...

"Piper!" I heard a familiar voice shout, and ignoring my pounding head and queasy stomach, I opened my eyes to see Phoebe rushing towards me. Smiling at the sight of my other sister, I laughed a little as she rushed to sit down next to me and wrap her arms around me. I repeated the gesture and buried my head into her shoulder. "Piper...you're okay..." I heard her whisper as I felt her tears on the back of my neck.

"Phoebs..." I said, at a loss for words. Emotions rushed through me, and while I was in her arms I couldn't think of the reason for my actions the night before. A minute later Phoebe leaned back to look me over and smiled down at me.

"How do you feel?" she asked, and I looked gratefully into her eyes. She doesn't care...she isn't angry about yesterday...all she wants is my health...my life.

"I expect she isn't feeling too well," a voice said, and looking over, I saw a tall man in a long crisp white coat standing in the doorway. "Hello Piper, I'm Doctor Wells. Ms. Mathews, Ms. Halliwell, we've met before," he said, nodding over at them. I watched as Phoebe got up and moved over to the other side of the room with Paige and Doctor Wells walked over to my bed with a clipboard in his hand. "Let's check you out," he said kindly, smiling down at me...a healing smile and presence that reminded me of Leo. I watched as he checked my pulse and listened to my breathing. Then he shined light into my eyes as he watched my pupils' reaction. "Piper, do you remember what happened?" he asked, and I nodded, looking down as I did so. "Are you confused in any way?" he then asked, and I shook my head 'no' again. "Good, no memory loss, so it seems," he said, writing something on his clipboard, and then reaching over to turn off my heart monitor. I waited as he asked me to open my mouth and he looked down my throat. It felt sore, but he seemed satisfied. "Now I have to check your stomach," he said gently, and I let him pull down my blankets and the pull up my hospital gown to see my stomach. I was surprised at how swollen and bruised it looked. A little frightened, I held myself still as Doctor Wells reached out and softly placed his hands on it. He slowly felt it, putting pressure on certain areas and I winced in pain. "It's alright Piper, it's just swollen from when we pumped it last night and from the medicine we gave you. The combination may make you feel sick for a day or so," he explained. "It seems to be on its way to healing," he then said, pulling the blankets back over me as I pulled down my gown.

"Is she alright?" I head Phoebe ask, and I looked over to see a worried expression on her face. She must've seen my swollen and bruised stomach.

"Your sister will be fine," Doctor Wells said, beckoning my sisters over as he wrote something down on his clipboard. "She may feel sick from the pumping we did to her stomach and the medicine we gave her, and she'll probably be very tired for a few days, but with nourishment and sleep she'll fully recover. I'm actually surprised at how quickly she woke up," he said, turning to my sisters. "Her prescription was strong and she took a good amount of it." My sisters just nodded as I looked down, ashamed and upset at my actions. "She should be okay to leave in a day or so," I heard the doctor say as tears came to my eyes and my sisters walked with him out into the hallway. "I'll be back later today to check on her progress." As Doctor Wells left the room with my sisters I let my tears fall, and when Phoebe reentered the room a moment later she rushed over to me in surprise and concern.

"Are you okay Piper? Are you in any pain?" she asked, placing her hand on my forehead as I shook my head.

"I...I'm just...so ashamed," I replied between sobs. "I...I didn't know...I didn't mean to..."

"Shhhh shhhhhh," Phoebe said softly as she pulled me into her arms and brushed my hair out of my face.

"Piper...it's over and done with. Now all we can look to is the future. Don' think about yesterday...alright? Put it behind you and think about getting well. It's alright if you're confused...if you're scared...because those are only natural feelings. Let yourself feel them, but don't dwell on them. Paige and I are here now, and nothing will happen to you." My tears ceased as Phoebe spoke, and I closed my eyes with contentment as she gently held me close to her. The last think I remembered was her soft even breathing before my eyes closed and I fell asleep.

When I opened my eyes again the room was dark and the silence was a comfort to me and my aching insides. Glancing down, I saw a hand held around mine, and when I looked to my left I noticed a figure slouched over in a chair next to my bed...It was Phoebe. My heart swelled at the site, and I wished with all of my heart that she wouldn't put herself through this for me...but another part of me was grateful for her presence, and I squeezed her hand slightly in thanks. My movement awakened her, and I watched as she opened her eyes and looked up at me.

"Piper...You're awake," she said with a yawn, and I nodded. "Are you okay?" she then asked, and I winced.

"Yeah...my stomach just hurts a little," I responded. "But don't bother yourself with me. Shouldn't you be at home in bed?" No matter how much I appreciated having her near me, I knew it wasn't healthy for her. Phoebe just looked at me for a second before picking up my hand with both of hers and shaking it a little.

"My place is here with you as long as you need me," she whispered, and I smiled sadly at her words.

"Phoebs-"

"No," she cut off immediately. "I know you, and I know you aren't ready yet. Go back to sleep. I'll be here when you wake up." I looked up again at my little sister and admired her strength. Why couldn't I be that strong? The only answer I could think of was that it was because I'd never had to deal with anything like this before. As I closed my eyes I thought back on how Phoebe was when she was younger. She left us and went to New York...By herself and not a word for months. What had she gone through there?...grieving by herself and trying to find her way...Luckily she found it back home. That's what I would focus on...home.

When I woke up in the morning Phoebe was still in her place next to me, but she wasn't asleep this time. She greeted me with warmth from the moment my eyes were open and immediately called the nurse. Before I knew it Doctor Wells was checking over me again. Tired and wanting to go home, I tried my best to show that I still wasn't in pain...but the doctor wasn't fooled.

"Doctor, can I please go home?" I asked, looking up at him with pleading eyes.

"I would really feel more comfortable if you stayed for one more night Ms. Halliwell," the doctor told me, but I shook my head.

"My sisters will take very good care of me," I promised, and Phoebe agreed. "Please, I really want to get home to my son," I said at last, and Phoebe looked surprised at my mention of him. I hadn't spoken Wyatt's name since waking up, but he was always in my mind. Leo had sent me back not only for my sisters, but for Wyatt as well. I couldn't let either of the men in my life down. The doctor seemed to soften at the mention of a son, and then looked directly at Phoebe.

"You will bring her immediately if anything changes or if her condition worsens?" he asked, and Phoebe nodded immediately. "Then I'll go get the release papers," he sighed, and I smiled at my victory. With a call home Paige was soon at the hospital with some clothes for me and Phoebe's signature allowed for me to leave. After getting dressed I found my sisters sitting in some chairs down the hall. They stood as I came towards them and immediately both wrapped one arm around my shoulders. With a sister on either side, I walked outside towards Phoebe's car and climbed into the backseat with Paige. There was silence as we drove, and I looked out the car window as we made our way home. Everything was so familiar, yet so different. Everything looked new and different to my eyes because I decided to look at everything in a new light. I had to...or I could sink back into the depression that had resulted in my hospitalization.

When the car pulled up into our driveway I quickly unbuckled my seat belt and made my way to the front door with my sisters. They told me that Wyatt was at Morris', but that he was bringing Wyatt over later in the afternoon. I nodded as I looked around the foyer and noticed its cleanliness. Phoebe and Paige had cleaned up my mess.

"Come on, let's get you upstairs," Phoebe said, and I let her lead me up to my room. "The doctor said you had to rest for a few days, and so it shall be." I sighed in defeat at these words, having no energy to object, and changed into pajamas before getting into bed and pulling the covers up around me. "Now, what can I do for you?" Phoebe asked once I was situated, and I just smiled faintly at her.

"I'm fine Phoebs," I told her, but she refused to believe me.

"Do you feel up to eating? I'll make you some soup," she then said, and walked out of the room in a hurry, rushing to the kitchen. Seconds later Paige appeared with an armful of blankets and some tea. I thanked her as she piled another blanket on top of me and put the tea on the nightstand by the side of my bed.

"Phoebe's getting you something to eat," she told me as she sat down on the end of my bed. "Is there anything you need?" she then asked.

"Just some aspirin," I replied, holding my stomach with one hand and my tea with the other.

"Sure thing," Paige said hurriedly, rushing to the bathroom with an "I should have thought of that" expression. When she returned I took the medicine and then leaned back into my pillows and sighed. "What is it?" Paige asked, but I just shook my head.

"Nothing...just glad to be home," I said, giving her a smile. Our conversation was broken when Phoebe entered with a bowl of soup and sat it down on my lap. They watched as I ate some of it, but half way through my stomach started to feel queasy, and I thought it best not to finish. At my request they took the soup away and left me to rest quietly and peacefully in my room. The silence was refreshing and I allowed myself to think of nothing and drift into a restless sleep. When I woke up hours later the room was still empty and my heart sunk with emptiness as well. The high I had been on from speaking with Leo was gone...and with my mind back to normal, I found it starting to sink into depression again. I wondered what would happen if I took some more pills again? If I took too many, would I be able to see Leo again? The thought slipped into my mind before I could stop it, and when I realized what I had suggested I became terribly afraid. I still wasn't quite sure what I was thinking that day when I took a handful of pills, but I never thought of myself as suicidal before. These thoughts drifted into my head after only a few days of being awake...I wasn't even fully recovered. Shaking in fear of myself, I slowly got up, ignoring the dizziness I felt, and made my way out of my room and down the hall. Finding neither of my sisters in their rooms, I walked towards the stairs and started down.

"Phoebe...?" I called out in a whisper, wanting desperately to see her. As I rounded the last step my foot got caught behind the other in my hurry. Holding my hands out in instinct to brace the fall, I fell to my feet in a heap. Upon hearing the noise my sisters came rushing from the sunroom to see what had happened. Both rushed immediately towards me when they saw me on the ground, and as the helped me up Paige let me lean on her shoulder. I could tell she felt my shaking body because she immediately led me over to the couch to sit down while Phoebe went to get me a glass of water.

"What's wrong?" Paige asked, pulling my hair out of my eyes and lifting my eyes up to meet hers. I looked at her for a moment before silently leaning forward and placing my head on her shoulder. Surprised, Paige wrapped her arms around me and stayed quiet and still until Phoebe returned. I felt Phoebe's hand on my shoulder a few seconds later and reluctantly turned to take my water from her. She looked concerned...but I was too shaken up to care about the looks she was sharing with Paige. I just took a sip of my water and then handed it back to her.

"Piper honey," Paige said gently, turning me towards her. "What are you doing up? You should have stayed in bed."

"I know," I replied, giving her a helpless look. "But...when I woke up..." Not wanting to tell my sisters my true thoughts, I looked at both of them and sighed. "...When I woke up I needed you," I finally said, hoping it would be enough. Phoebe seemed convinced that nothing was terribly wrong, but Paige still looked at me steadily in the eyes.

"What did you need us for?" she asked gently, and I suddenly became irritated, feeling that she was treating me like I was a child. Surprised at this thought and knowing that Paige was only trying to help, I decided it was probably best to just not say anything, and I looked down and kept my mouth shut.

"Piper?" Phoebe then asked, and I knew I had to tell them something.

"I...I just needed the company," I told her, which was true. When I was alone my mind had more time to wander and think things that I didn't want to be thinking. Satisfied for the moment, Paige forced me to lay back as she covered me with a blanket. I didn't object, just happy to be in the presence of my sisters without having them ask any questions. Phoebe turned on the TV to one of my favorite soap operas "Days of Our Lives" and both Paige and her sat down next to me to watch it.

I dozed off towards the end of the show, and around two thirty I awoke to the sound of knocking at our front door. Phoebe was sitting next to me on the couch reading, and I looked over to see Paige head towards the door from where she had been in the kitchen. I watched groggily as Paige opened the door, but my eyes opened wide when I saw who was behind it. I stretched and bent my neck and head to see more clearly, and a slow smile spread across my face at the sight of Darryl holding Wyatt. Paige talked with him for a few moments before Phoebe got up and walked over. I wanted to get up as well, but Phoebe gave me a 'move-and-die' look, probably remembering what had happened this morning when I had gotten up. Sighing in frustration, I waited as my sisters spoke to Darryl. Finally, Paige took Wyatt into her arms, and while Phoebe was saying goodbye to our friend, Paige brought him over into the living room. At the sight of me his little face turned into a giant smile, and I smiled as he started clapping his hands and then reaching them over towards me. Paige handed him over, and I cannot explain my emotions when he was put into my arms. Suddenly, every thought and emotion from the past days disappeared, and the only thing I felt was my love for this one child, and his love for me. I understood that I was here for him, and only him, and if I wasn't here then he would go on in the world never knowing the love of a parent. Smiling at my son as tears came to my eyes, I pulled him into a hug and listened to his even breathing as he settled down into my arms. When I looked up a few minutes later Paige and Phoebe were gone, and I could hear their voices in the kitchen. Getting to my feet with Wyatt in my arms, I shuffled in after them.

"Piper!" Phoebe said with surprise, running over as I entered. "I thought I told you not to get up," she reprimanded, but I shrugged her off as I walked over to sit on one of the kitchen chairs. Wyatt sat happily on my lap, and I bounced him a little as I looked at my sisters.

"So...Paige...Phoebe..." I said slowly, looking at both of them. "Where do we go from here?" My sisters looked at me for a moment, and then at each other. "We go forward," I then told them while hugging Wyatt close. "We go forward so that this little guy isn't left behind." Phoebe smiled at my comment and had her arms wrapped around me a second later. Paige stood her ground, looking over at us with a smile. Her smile was knowing...and it was confident. I smiled back, not knowing what was ahead, but knowing that she would always be there to help me step forward.

TO BE CONTINUED...