Chapter Four

The morning was clearer than the last, and a promising wind blew through Tortuga, marking the best sailing conditions they'd had since the commandeering. Sun blazed through the windows of Jack's room as he grunted a few incoherent words and pulled the covers over his head.

"Get up, Jack. We've got to get out of here before Gizelle's father finds out that she's angry with you. I don't want to have to waste anymore time than we already have."

"You're an odd one, Bill- the only man who ever thought sleepin' was wastin' time. I've always wondered if me best mate was a pansy. Are you? Argh!" he exclaimed, muttering again, "Why's the room so bloody bright?!"

"It's morning," said Bill, throwing his clothes at him, "and you tried to keep your title as the drunkest man last night. Get dressed, we've got to make a run for it, or didn't you hear me the last time."

"Now I know you're a pansy."

"And you're a scurvy pirate."

"Takes one to know one," replied Jack, grabbing his clothes from where Bill had thrown them. Bill laughed, checking his compass. "We've got to head south-southeast."

"I don't think I've ever been drunk enough to look at my compass while I'm still on the island," Jack said, looking at Bill as he sat up in bed, "Wait..." He noticed Bill wearing his own shirt and bandanna. "...'ow did... WHOA! HOW IN 'ELL AM I- Oh... when I was drunk, did I...?"

"Don't get your hopes up, Jack. Fiona reached in and took them off so I could wash them. Got your clothes back, too. She persuaded Gizelle to let her in then took them when she wasn't paying attention. I don't think she's even noticed yet." He collected a small store of rum and ale, placing them in a leather bag, "You know, Jack- she's a brilliant thief."

"Brilliant thief, eh? Well, we could use her when we come back 'ere afterwards then."

He tried to explain to Jack carefully, "Erm... well... Actually... I told her she could join us if she wanted. On the ship."

Jack froze, standing up with his shirt unbuttoned, "Wha'? You told 'er she could be with us? What goes through your head, Bill?!... Fine- FINE! We'll let 'er come with us if she wants. See? This is why I will be cap'n when we get our ship built. No women!"

"You? No women?"

"Not on board!" exclaimed Jack, "When we return from Carne Comedores we'd better be sailin' in my ship. My new ship."

"Not even Jocelyn? If she isn't allowed, I don't sail with you," he said, tossing Jack his hat.

"...Ye never see 'er anymore, Bill- when do ye expect she'll turn up? I'll come back for 'er," Jack said sarcastically.

"Oh how very clever- But I do love her, Jack. I don't know how I could explain love to you, being that you call it- what was it? Codswallop?"

"I believe codswallop defines it best," said Jack, taking his effects from the night stand, "And that was for fun. I do know what love is."

Bill almost snorted, "Come on, Jack- Love? Love isn't paid for, it's won!"

"I know that, you git," he said defensively.

Bill's laughter stopped, leaving a pleased expression, "Well... I bet you do know what love is, don't you? The way you were acting so... embarrassed when Gizelle was sitting on you..."

"Now wait-"

"And well- I'd be rendered unconscious too if I'd just met the love of my life. My, my... I think you do know."

"Shut yer cake hole, we've got to get movin'."

"Suddenly you want to get out of here so fast?"

In a matter of minutes, they had left the inn and reached the strip of beach where the ship was docked... or had been.

Jack stopped dead in his tracks, "Where's the bloody ship?!" Bill gazed out into the ocean, pointing at the ship sailing away less than 100 yards into the ocean.

He shielded his eyes with his hand and followed with his eyes to where Bill was pointing, "...Thief?"

"...Thief."

"Right." Jack yelled as loud as humanly possible, "FIONA- COME BACK 'ERE WITH MY SHIP!"

A loud reply rang through the air, "NO MAN TAKES ADVANTAGE OF ME AND GETS AWAY WITH IT! SOD OFF, CAPTAIN JACK SPARROW!"

"...Well at least she said your name right."

Jack's eyes narrowed, "...Get the boat."

They took the boat out into the sea and rowed as swiftly as they could, slowly but surely catching up to the ship.

"We're gaining!" said Bill, rowing faster, "We might get to the ship before my arms fall off."

"Or before she finds out she 'as cannons."

"Too late. TURN!"

"In a rowboat?!"

The cannonball barely missed when Bill rocked the boat a few feet out of the way. Jack panted, "We'd better hope... We'd better hope she's not as good an aim... next time."

"Better idea!" he said, leaping overboard. Jack abandoned the boat, too, as another cannonball flew from the cannon and blasted a chunk out of the bottom of the boat. "We're only ten yards- swim! ...Jack?"

Bill searched the water frantically, "JACK?"

Jack had been hit hard by the projectile plank, and was now slowly sinking into the ocean. "JACK! GODDAMN IT!"

Fiona heard him yell and looked in their direction, watching Bill dive into the water. "Oh no... the bloody fool's got 'imself knocked out..."

Bill took hold of him underneath his arms, swimming for the surface. He felt his lungs nearly give out, closing his eyes to preserve what consciousness he had left. Jack was much heavier than Bill had assumed. 'Five feet...' thought Bill, 'Five feet and I can be rid of him...' Suddenly, a rope dropped into the water. He grasped it anxiously, feeling his body break the surface. He gasped for air. "I'm going to tie Jack to it! I'll climb up first!"

He tied the rope around Jack, making a tight knot. "Sorry, Jack- No chance of Fiona getting you on deck all by herself," he said to the unconscious Jack as he began to climb. Once he swung his legs onto the deck, he grasped the rope in his right hand and helped Fiona pull Jack over the side.

"Still not breathing?" said Fiona nervously.

He put his hand over Jack's mouth, "...No! Oh god, I didn't want to have to resort to this..."

"Oh, move out of the way, for god's sakes..." she said desperately, standing over Jack. She moved in closer, ready to breathe into his mouth, when he slung an arm over her and pulled her into a kiss. Fiona was intensely dazed, opening her eyes. She smacked him as hard as possible, standing up, "You bastard! You 'ad me thinkin' you were goin' to die!"

This didn't seem to faze Jack at all as he smiled and stood up on the deck, listening to Fiona yell at him, "...I would've kissed ye sooner or later, love." But it occurred to him that the more he talked the sorer his jaw became.

"Now I wish I'd let Bill save your life," she said, "but he looked so pathetic that I couldn't let him suffer."

Bill intervened, "Pathetic's an awfully strong word."

"Not for the way you looked," said Fiona. "You were beyond the average pathetic."

"Well, I will be in your debt forever, love. Fiona, is it? Heard you were quite a pickpocket," Jack said, sitting on a crate.

She held up a small sack of money, "I like to think so."

"Wondered where that went," he said, taking it back from her, "I'm surprised."

"Of what?"

"That a woman... can do a man's job."

"Oh, then I'm surprised you can talk and walk at the same time; it's a woman's job, after all."

Jack groaned in annoyance, turning to the helm.

"Congratulations, you're the first woman to render him speechless," jested Bill.

Without warning, Fiona crept up behind Jack and whispered in his ear, "I NEED this job, Jack. You make room for me on this ship, and I'll give you part of what I make- and give Bill his chance to see Jocelyn."

"How do you know abou' Jocelyn?"

"Agreed?"

Jack turned to her, "How do you know abou' Jocelyn?"

"Do we agree or not?"

"...Agreed. Now answer me question, love."

Fiona walked away, sitting beside Bill, "So... 'ow long have you known Jocelyn?"

"A while. Seven years, and I haven't seen her in three."

"You must be goin' through some pain."

"Well I do love her after all..."

Fiona flipped a coin through her fingers, "Well, I think I can ease ya pain, Bill." She took a clumsily folded piece of paper from her pocket and handed it to him. When he opened it, he read the first line, paused, and stared up at Fiona with a look of utter joy.

"Fiona- you know her? You know where she is?"

"Yeah- told me to give that to you if I found ye."

Bill grinned and drew her into a warm embrace, "Thank you. I've been looking for her for a while. I didn't get a letter from her for so long!"

Jack turned his head back to them, shock evident on his once angered face. But then, he stared blankly, turning his head back around, "So you've finally given up on Jocelyn, aye?"

He slowly let go of Fiona, taking his time to walk up to Jack. "Fiona had a letter for me from Jocelyn.

"Jocelyn and I used to work together you git," said Fiona to Jack, who was still turned away from her, "At the smithy. But it didn't go so well- he fired me, so... I stole 'ow much I thought I deserved and left. She's an excellent blacksmith, though. Stayed on there for a while, I suppose. 'aven't heard from her in a month."

Jack chortled, "You worked at a smithy?"

"It pays money," she answered, standing up, "So, where are we headed?"

"An island some days away. It'll have us richer than you can imagine."

"Gold?"

Jack took a swig from his bottle, "Aye. And rare jewels ne'er found anywhere else but that island. That's where ye get your share."

"My share?"

"Twenty percent."

"Twenty?" she said indignantly, "I saved your life, Sparrow. I get fifty."

Jack was known to be extremely shrewd when it came to his money, even if it wasn't... actually... his. He put his hand to his chin, thinking of a fair deal to haggle. Then, he pointed at her in agreement.

"Thirty."

"Deal." Fiona sat back down, crossing her legs, "So, Sparrow- What is your fascination with rum?"

"What do you mean, what is my fascination?" His shoulders lurched as he attempted to hold in a hiccup.

"Don't take me for a fool, Jack."

Bill leaned against the side, becoming amused with their quarrel.

"I don't. I take ye for a thief."

"And being a pirate makes you better?"

He stopped them both, "Jack- wait! ...Where's the crew?"

"Oh- Forgot about them, didn' I? Barbossa and the men told me they'd be commandeerin' their own ship and meeting us on an Island near Carne Comedores. Until then, we can celebrate. Or would you like some more time to argue, m'lady?"

"What do you have to celebrate?"

"Not dyin'. This calls for rum!"

These words were greeted with a resounding groan from Bill.

"Fine! More rum for ol' Jack, then!"

Fiona leaned on the ale barrels on the starboard side deck. "I'll take some o' that rum off your hands."

After a moment or two of watching her, "Alright! Take the damn rum! That's thanks for savin' me life." He handed her a second bottle, almost struggling with himself whether or not to hand it over. Eventually, whatever goodness he had won, and he let go of the neck of the bottle. Fiona's eyes quickly darted to his while she finished her swill of rum. "...Wha' for? I thought you coveted your precious rum. B'sides, you let me 'ave thirty percent of-"

"Just drink the rum before I change me mind!" he said sourly, taking a very long drought, "It's a gift."

"The gift of intoxication," she said, holding a bottle up and swirling the contents, "How thoughtful."

Two hours and eight bottles later, Jack and Fiona were sword fighting with mops, and Bill was staring at them in confusion. Fiona had taken to bursting out in fits of laughter and poking Jack's behind with the broom instead of his stomach as they had started out. Bill shook his head, watching Jack pull her down onto the deck with a plop.

"SAY IT!"

"NEVER!" Between every sentence she spoke she laughed drunkenly.

"TELL THE WO'LD I'M THE GREA'EST CAP'IN OF 'EM ALL!!!" Jack slurred loudly.

"YOU'LL 'AVE TO KILL ME FIRST!"

"With rum?"

"WITH RUM!"

"...I think I can manage that."

"I'll 'ave you thrown int' the deep!"

"I'll throw you both into the deep if you don't stop trying to kill eachother!"

"Oh I'm sorry Fiona," said Jack to Bill, his vision completely blurred, "I'll straight'n up." Bill forced Jack below deck, hoping he'd eventually find his way to the captain's cabin, then addressed Fiona. "Alright- you can tell who I am, can't you?"

She nodded, "Yeah, I can. But what are ye doing with Bill's boots on, Jack?" By the look on his face, Bill had had enough. "Jus' kidding."

"Good. You'll have to sleep in another cabin tonight, I'm locking Jack in his until morning. Lord knows what'll happen if he thinks I'm you..."

"...You migh' get to give 'im resuscitation after all, Bill."

Bill shuddered, descending the few stairs to the cabins and showing her to one of the three. She had almost closed the door when she saw Jack fast asleep on the bed, his legs dangling oddly over the end.

"Bill?"