I'm baaaaAAAAck! Sorry for the long wait; ah, procrastination is beautiful! Anyway, I bet you don't wanna hear me babble, so I'll just go on with the fic!
Disclaimer: I know the disclaimer that gets on everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves, I know the disclaimer that gets on everybody's nerves and this is how it goes......
*cricket*
*cricket*
Um. I don't own Inuyasha or "Diamonds Are a Girl's Best Friend". Yeah, I'll just shut up now........Did I mention my brother helped me write this? Um. Yeah. Anyways......
Ch. 3: Too Stupid To Be True
"Inuyasha, dinnertime!" Kagome called, holding out a cup of instant ramen.
"Shhhh! I've almost got the little shit weasel!" harshly whispered the poor coatless dog demon, inching closer and closer to the fire-cat that was currently using his coat to harbor hacked-up hairballs. Just as Inuyasha was about to yank away the jacket, however, Sango picked up Kirara, jacket and all, and said," You reek Kirara! I'm giving you a bath. Wanna come, Kagome?"
Kagome cheered," Yay! Bath time, bath time!"
Shippo moaned," Oh no, you've brought out the Bath Fairy......our horrible hygienes are in danger! RUN FOR IT!!!" And with that, Shippo ran like the dickens.
"........................."
".........................."
"....shlurp............"
"MIROKU, QUIT IT WITH THE DAMN NOODLES ALREADY!!!" Inuyasha yelled. Quickly gathering her bath supplies, Kagome skipped after Sango in the bliss of anticipation of a bath. So, alone at the campsite, Miroku continued slurping his noodles and Inuyasha slumped against a tree in defeat. FINALLY finishing the last of the cup, Miroku asked," So, what's got you so down, Inuyasha?"
Inuyasha enlightened him with a glare.
Fighting a sweatdrop, the monk cheerfully said," Well, if you wanted to peek on Kagome-sama so much, you should have ASKED. Let's go!"
Nursing the newest bump on his head, Miroku could only just barely hear Inuyasha mutter," I'm just worried about what that bastard is planning to use Tetsusaiga for......."
Now having all of the information it needed, the figure left the campsite and swiftly dashed to report back to its master.
*********
"So, Inuyasha has lost Tetsusaiga to Sesshomaru?-And the half-breed is only a few days away from his castle? Hm......." The demon pondered this new information. He looked up to his informant, a female kitsune by the name of Shicho. Hmph. Butterfly of death, how fitting, seeing as this particular assassin never missed a target.
He ordered, "Continue observing them. If they come too close to retrieving Tetsusaiga, then eliminate them."
"Very well, my lord. But what about the current owner of Tetsusaiga? Should I eliminate him as well?" the assassin coolly replied.
"I shall deal with him myself," Naraku smirked.
**********
"So you are saying that Rin has been like this for the last few days?" Sesshomaru blandly asked, stifling a grimace as a centipede crawled out from a hole in her side.
"Yes, m'lord," Jaken replied cautiously, trying not to provoke the evil swordsman lurking within the heart of the dog demon. Almost like some sick form of S&M, he thought with a shudder.
Sesshomaru continued looking at the bloody, pale, and non-breathing Rin. He poked her a few times and then asked his servant," What do you suppose is the problem?"
Jaken nodded his head in self-assurance," Oh, she's probably a little depressed over a boy or some other teenage angst. It should go away soon if we just leave her be."
Sesshomaru stoicly said," Really? She seems dead to me."
Jaken protested," B-b-but M'lord! She moved a little while ago! She can't be dead!"
Sesshomaru flatly informed him," That was because a bug was exiting her body." He glared at Jaken and icily told him," She is deceased. Six feet under. Her light bulb has burned out. She is asleep forever. She has kicked the can. Bit the big one. She has met her maker. Her batteries have run out. She has fallen and will never get up. Her car has run out of gas. Jaken, SHE IS DEAD." And with that he swung Tenseiga and revived the little girl.
"Sesshomaru-sama!" Rin cried out in joy.
The demon lord sheathed his sword and commented,"Hm. Next time I shall not be bothered to bring you back to life; have you learned your lesson?"
Rin nodded and said," Yup! Now I know that- *suddenly bursting into song*
A kiss may be grand
But it won't pay the rental on your humble flat or help
You at the automat
Men grow cold as women grow old
And we all lose our charms in the end
But diamonds are a girl's best friend!
"We've created a monster," Jaken moaned as he covered his ears.