~Disclaimer~ Let's take a vote if I even have to bother with these by this
point.
~Author's Note~ Oh, the song Dennis is listening to is Easier to Run, by Linkin Park, if you're curious. This chapter's more like a lyric story. But it's just a chapter; I always thought it was a better idea then adding another musical interlude. Hahahahaha, okay, as always, lemme know what you think. PLEASE!! My life depends on it, lol
Chapter Ten: Easier to Run
It's easier to run
Replacing all this pain with something numb.
It's so much easier to go.
Then face all this pain here all alone.
I turned the radio down a few notches and looked around at the few pieces of furniture I owned. I had walked to the mailbox today expecting to only see a bill or two, but discovered an eviction notice instead. I didn't know what I was going to do. I had a week to leave, and nowhere to go. Cyrus maybe. But I had a bad feeling. It was strange. A strange day. Weird vibes.
Something has been taken from deep inside of me
This secret I've kept locked away no one can ever see
Wounds so deep they never show, they never go away
Like moving pictures in my head for years and years they play
I walked over to the phone and held it in my hand, staring at it. Looking at the details on the numbers, and the buttons, and the wire. It hypnotized me for a minute, and then I finally reached down and dialed Cyrus. After a few rings his unmistakable voice was heard.
"Hello?"
"Hey, Cyrus. it's Dennis, listen. I um. Well, I got an eviction notice today, and well. to make it short I have no where to go.
I had nowhere to run, to be more precise. "When? How long do you have?"
"A week."
He sighed. I don't know if it was in frustration or anger. Or both. Or neither. I stood by and waited, not rushing his decision and not wanting to get him mad in case it kept him from letting me stay.
"You can stay with me, Dennis. It's not a problem, really. I'm just surprised at you, that's all. Disappointed."
I wanted to remind him about the money he owed me at that point but made the smart decision to say nothing at all. He had helped me as a child. And now as an adult. Or as much as an adult as I'd ever be, guess I'll always be a kid at heart. No matter what I do.
Sometimes I remember the darkness of my past
Bringing back these memories I wish I didn't have
Sometimes I think of letting go and never looking back
And never moving forward so there'd never be a past.
He told me he'd be there around four o'clock to get me, and I told him I'd start packing some stuff. I wouldn't need any of the crappy cheap ass furniture anymore, at least. I grabbed a few bags and filled them with a few important things. Some clothes, some CDs, pictures. one of my mother actually, I found myself looking at it as I stuffed things away, and started wondering if my life would've been better if she had lived. I felt sadness rise up within me for the first time, and put the picture inside before I actually started crying or something. I don't know why I felt so emotional that day.
Just washing it aside
All of my helplessness inside
Pretending I don't feel misplaced.
It's so much simpler than change.
I waited outside for Cyrus. His car drove up right on schedule, and we drove back to his house in silence. I looked out the window at all the people outside on the streets. With friends, family. It occurred to me that I had neither. How did I feel? What did I think? Well. it sucked a lot.
"You can stay upstairs." Was all he said to me when we walked in the door.
I dragged my bags up the stairway, nothing at all was said about the previous day. I was thankful, and embarrassed. I felt I could do nothing on my own. That sucked as well.
It's easier to run
Replacing all this pain with something numb
It's so much easier to go
Then face all this pain here all alone
I spent the remainder of the day setting up my room so I'd be comfortable. I hadn't heard anything from Cyrus, but was afraid to leave my space, so I didn't know what, if anything, he had done that night. I wondered when I'd have to capture another ghost. And if I'd be able to go through with it. I knocked those thoughts out of my head fast though, they were what I was trying to avoid.
If I could change I would
Take back the pain I would
Retrace every wrong made I would
If I could stand up and take the blame I would
I would take all my shame to the grave.
~Author's Note~ Oh, the song Dennis is listening to is Easier to Run, by Linkin Park, if you're curious. This chapter's more like a lyric story. But it's just a chapter; I always thought it was a better idea then adding another musical interlude. Hahahahaha, okay, as always, lemme know what you think. PLEASE!! My life depends on it, lol
Chapter Ten: Easier to Run
It's easier to run
Replacing all this pain with something numb.
It's so much easier to go.
Then face all this pain here all alone.
I turned the radio down a few notches and looked around at the few pieces of furniture I owned. I had walked to the mailbox today expecting to only see a bill or two, but discovered an eviction notice instead. I didn't know what I was going to do. I had a week to leave, and nowhere to go. Cyrus maybe. But I had a bad feeling. It was strange. A strange day. Weird vibes.
Something has been taken from deep inside of me
This secret I've kept locked away no one can ever see
Wounds so deep they never show, they never go away
Like moving pictures in my head for years and years they play
I walked over to the phone and held it in my hand, staring at it. Looking at the details on the numbers, and the buttons, and the wire. It hypnotized me for a minute, and then I finally reached down and dialed Cyrus. After a few rings his unmistakable voice was heard.
"Hello?"
"Hey, Cyrus. it's Dennis, listen. I um. Well, I got an eviction notice today, and well. to make it short I have no where to go.
I had nowhere to run, to be more precise. "When? How long do you have?"
"A week."
He sighed. I don't know if it was in frustration or anger. Or both. Or neither. I stood by and waited, not rushing his decision and not wanting to get him mad in case it kept him from letting me stay.
"You can stay with me, Dennis. It's not a problem, really. I'm just surprised at you, that's all. Disappointed."
I wanted to remind him about the money he owed me at that point but made the smart decision to say nothing at all. He had helped me as a child. And now as an adult. Or as much as an adult as I'd ever be, guess I'll always be a kid at heart. No matter what I do.
Sometimes I remember the darkness of my past
Bringing back these memories I wish I didn't have
Sometimes I think of letting go and never looking back
And never moving forward so there'd never be a past.
He told me he'd be there around four o'clock to get me, and I told him I'd start packing some stuff. I wouldn't need any of the crappy cheap ass furniture anymore, at least. I grabbed a few bags and filled them with a few important things. Some clothes, some CDs, pictures. one of my mother actually, I found myself looking at it as I stuffed things away, and started wondering if my life would've been better if she had lived. I felt sadness rise up within me for the first time, and put the picture inside before I actually started crying or something. I don't know why I felt so emotional that day.
Just washing it aside
All of my helplessness inside
Pretending I don't feel misplaced.
It's so much simpler than change.
I waited outside for Cyrus. His car drove up right on schedule, and we drove back to his house in silence. I looked out the window at all the people outside on the streets. With friends, family. It occurred to me that I had neither. How did I feel? What did I think? Well. it sucked a lot.
"You can stay upstairs." Was all he said to me when we walked in the door.
I dragged my bags up the stairway, nothing at all was said about the previous day. I was thankful, and embarrassed. I felt I could do nothing on my own. That sucked as well.
It's easier to run
Replacing all this pain with something numb
It's so much easier to go
Then face all this pain here all alone
I spent the remainder of the day setting up my room so I'd be comfortable. I hadn't heard anything from Cyrus, but was afraid to leave my space, so I didn't know what, if anything, he had done that night. I wondered when I'd have to capture another ghost. And if I'd be able to go through with it. I knocked those thoughts out of my head fast though, they were what I was trying to avoid.
If I could change I would
Take back the pain I would
Retrace every wrong made I would
If I could stand up and take the blame I would
I would take all my shame to the grave.