Lily woke the next morning with a dull headache. She struggled to recall what happened the night before until it hit her like a heavy stone in her stomach. She cried and the Marauders befriended her. However wary she was of their intentions, Lily could not turn down an offer of friendship. Their antics did not seem false and James swore he wouldn't hurt her, what was there to be doubtful of? Yet Lily couldn't help feeling worried, she was never noticed and all of a sudden the most popular guys at her school with trying to be her friend, it was just odd.
She looked to the other four beds and saw the girls fast asleep. Awake early again. She pulled herself off the bed, jumping slightly as her bare feet touched the cold stone floor. Walking quickly to the bathroom, Lily relaxed once she was in her shower. The hot water warmed her body and relieved her aches. Dragging herself from the comforts of the warmth, Lily dried herself off and slipped into her warm robes, the warmth washing over her once more. She dried her hair with a quick drying spell, grabbed the books she needed for the upcoming classes and like the morning before, made her way down to the common room. But unlike yesterday, the common room was empty this morning, void of anything that breathed. The fire burned fiercely, laughing with the smoldering embers. Lily pushed her way through the portrait of the Fat Lady and walked down to the Great Hall for breakfast. Sitting down at her usual seat, she noticed not many people were up yet. It was probably still quite early. Taking a piece of toast, she looked at it before turning her head in disgust. She had no appetite for eating. She placed the uneaten toast on her plate and examined her surroundings once more. The Great Hall was starting to fill as students woke up. In no time at all, Lily saw the Marauders walk in, followed, like always, by their fan club. The boys sat down and any empty seats beside them were soon occupied by a hopeful girl. Lily sighed, 'maybe last night was a dream,' she thought. Maybe she was still Lily Evans the invisible no one. The top of every class, quiet, withdrawn, socially inept loser, Lily Evans. At the moment, she hated herself, she hated the way she pushed everyone away and how she forced herself to build a barricade around her mind, to protect herself from hurt and pain. She shook her head angrily, 'stop thinking like that,' she scolded herself. But she pulled on her slim diary and flipped open to an empty page before writing down her thoughts.
'I felt darkness descend upon me--the loss of consciousness from the excruciating pain. I was determined to build a barricade around my mind, to protect myself as best I could. I slipped over the edge of pain and found that the onslaught did not stop, it would not stop, instead, it grew stronger. It caged me within its claws, leaving my world as a blur beyond the sphere of pain enveloping every inch of my aching body. Poisoning my veins like lead. My eyes, the mirrors to my soul, reflecting my pain upon the spectator. Writhing in pain beneath imperceptible chains that held me down, crying for help with only silence to be found. Torture. The pain was unbearable, the defeat was undeniable. I was to give in. But would the pain ever truly stop? It flowed within my veins. The simplest touch burned, the faintest breath weakened. And tears made their way down my ashen cheeks only to merge with my pallid color and you were blind to see, what ever was bothering me.'
Lily put her quill down beside her diary and reread every word over, mouthing the words and feeling her pain and misery multiply by the second. Though, writing down what she felt alleviated some of the pain, slightly. She sighed, she was miserable. Even if the Marauders were her friends--would she ever be truly happy? Or was it just a dream, could she have dreamt that the Marauders befriended her? But taking one last glance at where they sat, James looked up and gave her a comforting smile, Lily sighed in relief. It wasn't just a dream, it truly happened. Her troubling thoughts pushed aside for the moment, Lily gathered her belongings and to make her way out of the Great Hall. But she was stopped momentarily by James hand, wrapping around her wrist and pulling her closer to the Marauders.
"Mornin' Lily," Sirius said while chewing bacon at the same time. Lily flinched and looked down, nauseated by the sight. Remus smacked Sirius in the head and reminded him of his manners, he apologized shortly afterwards. Lily mumbled a feeble "good morning," to the boys before muttering something about having to get to class. James laughed, "Class doesn't start for another 10 minutes, Lily!" Lily grinned sheepishly, "I need to finish some last minute homework," she said shrugging and made her way through the Great Hall. She glanced quickly at her timetable, noting that she had Transfiguration first thing in the morning. Transfiguration! Lily found this subject quite fascination and was always fervent to learn something new. Lily made her way towards the Transfiguration classroom and sat at the very back, like always, eager to begin the lesson. First Transfiguration class of the year was always exciting, of course, so where the remaining classes. Once the rest of the class filed in, Professor McGonagall told them they were to be working in partners in this exercise and that they would be turning the ravens in front of them into small rats. Coincidentally enough, Lily and James were made partners and Lily refusing to move from her spot in the back of the classroom, forced James to move and sit next to her. The girls in the room were giving Lily dirty glares, tempting her to glare back. It's not like they knew who she was, they don't remember ever seeing her--no one did, until now. Lily smiled timidly as James placed his books on the table in front of him, he grinned back. James and Lily were both the first to turn their ravens into rats, so while Professor McGonagall tried to reverse the spell on Akton Bleacher when Sirius accidentally turned him into a rat, Lily and James began talking about last night.
"You were pretty upset last night, are you alright now?" he asked, concern and confusing dancing in his eyes. Lily nodded, "I…I can't believe I broke apart like that. I'm usually not like that, but I'm afraid, perhaps, the emotions that I've kept inside for so many years is finally catching up to me. I feel like I'm going to explode, like a bottle of wine, pouring my contents. I suppose that's a downside to never being noticed--you have no friends to comfort you, to reason with you, to support you. But you get used to the solitude, I did. You learn to live with the misery by yourself but unfortunately, one cannot live like that forever. I broke--I had forgotten about the day my best friend died. With his life, a part of me died and I suppose with the death, it took my memory of that friendship along with it. The pain was everlasting, continuing though I forgot why. And I woke up that morning and felt dreadfully miserable, that's how you found me last night. I've reached my end, James. I've finally fallen," she said sadly. James' eyes lacked his usual spirit as he looked at Lily's heartbreaking expression. "It's alright Lily," he said comforting, "You have the Marauders now, we won't turn our backs on you. You just have to promise not to rebuild your wall, you need to open up to us. If you promise that, we promise we will never abandon you. Friends forever," James said solemnly, his hand now resting on Lily's knee, squeezing it gently. Lily nodded. Things were beginning to look up.
She looked to the other four beds and saw the girls fast asleep. Awake early again. She pulled herself off the bed, jumping slightly as her bare feet touched the cold stone floor. Walking quickly to the bathroom, Lily relaxed once she was in her shower. The hot water warmed her body and relieved her aches. Dragging herself from the comforts of the warmth, Lily dried herself off and slipped into her warm robes, the warmth washing over her once more. She dried her hair with a quick drying spell, grabbed the books she needed for the upcoming classes and like the morning before, made her way down to the common room. But unlike yesterday, the common room was empty this morning, void of anything that breathed. The fire burned fiercely, laughing with the smoldering embers. Lily pushed her way through the portrait of the Fat Lady and walked down to the Great Hall for breakfast. Sitting down at her usual seat, she noticed not many people were up yet. It was probably still quite early. Taking a piece of toast, she looked at it before turning her head in disgust. She had no appetite for eating. She placed the uneaten toast on her plate and examined her surroundings once more. The Great Hall was starting to fill as students woke up. In no time at all, Lily saw the Marauders walk in, followed, like always, by their fan club. The boys sat down and any empty seats beside them were soon occupied by a hopeful girl. Lily sighed, 'maybe last night was a dream,' she thought. Maybe she was still Lily Evans the invisible no one. The top of every class, quiet, withdrawn, socially inept loser, Lily Evans. At the moment, she hated herself, she hated the way she pushed everyone away and how she forced herself to build a barricade around her mind, to protect herself from hurt and pain. She shook her head angrily, 'stop thinking like that,' she scolded herself. But she pulled on her slim diary and flipped open to an empty page before writing down her thoughts.
'I felt darkness descend upon me--the loss of consciousness from the excruciating pain. I was determined to build a barricade around my mind, to protect myself as best I could. I slipped over the edge of pain and found that the onslaught did not stop, it would not stop, instead, it grew stronger. It caged me within its claws, leaving my world as a blur beyond the sphere of pain enveloping every inch of my aching body. Poisoning my veins like lead. My eyes, the mirrors to my soul, reflecting my pain upon the spectator. Writhing in pain beneath imperceptible chains that held me down, crying for help with only silence to be found. Torture. The pain was unbearable, the defeat was undeniable. I was to give in. But would the pain ever truly stop? It flowed within my veins. The simplest touch burned, the faintest breath weakened. And tears made their way down my ashen cheeks only to merge with my pallid color and you were blind to see, what ever was bothering me.'
Lily put her quill down beside her diary and reread every word over, mouthing the words and feeling her pain and misery multiply by the second. Though, writing down what she felt alleviated some of the pain, slightly. She sighed, she was miserable. Even if the Marauders were her friends--would she ever be truly happy? Or was it just a dream, could she have dreamt that the Marauders befriended her? But taking one last glance at where they sat, James looked up and gave her a comforting smile, Lily sighed in relief. It wasn't just a dream, it truly happened. Her troubling thoughts pushed aside for the moment, Lily gathered her belongings and to make her way out of the Great Hall. But she was stopped momentarily by James hand, wrapping around her wrist and pulling her closer to the Marauders.
"Mornin' Lily," Sirius said while chewing bacon at the same time. Lily flinched and looked down, nauseated by the sight. Remus smacked Sirius in the head and reminded him of his manners, he apologized shortly afterwards. Lily mumbled a feeble "good morning," to the boys before muttering something about having to get to class. James laughed, "Class doesn't start for another 10 minutes, Lily!" Lily grinned sheepishly, "I need to finish some last minute homework," she said shrugging and made her way through the Great Hall. She glanced quickly at her timetable, noting that she had Transfiguration first thing in the morning. Transfiguration! Lily found this subject quite fascination and was always fervent to learn something new. Lily made her way towards the Transfiguration classroom and sat at the very back, like always, eager to begin the lesson. First Transfiguration class of the year was always exciting, of course, so where the remaining classes. Once the rest of the class filed in, Professor McGonagall told them they were to be working in partners in this exercise and that they would be turning the ravens in front of them into small rats. Coincidentally enough, Lily and James were made partners and Lily refusing to move from her spot in the back of the classroom, forced James to move and sit next to her. The girls in the room were giving Lily dirty glares, tempting her to glare back. It's not like they knew who she was, they don't remember ever seeing her--no one did, until now. Lily smiled timidly as James placed his books on the table in front of him, he grinned back. James and Lily were both the first to turn their ravens into rats, so while Professor McGonagall tried to reverse the spell on Akton Bleacher when Sirius accidentally turned him into a rat, Lily and James began talking about last night.
"You were pretty upset last night, are you alright now?" he asked, concern and confusing dancing in his eyes. Lily nodded, "I…I can't believe I broke apart like that. I'm usually not like that, but I'm afraid, perhaps, the emotions that I've kept inside for so many years is finally catching up to me. I feel like I'm going to explode, like a bottle of wine, pouring my contents. I suppose that's a downside to never being noticed--you have no friends to comfort you, to reason with you, to support you. But you get used to the solitude, I did. You learn to live with the misery by yourself but unfortunately, one cannot live like that forever. I broke--I had forgotten about the day my best friend died. With his life, a part of me died and I suppose with the death, it took my memory of that friendship along with it. The pain was everlasting, continuing though I forgot why. And I woke up that morning and felt dreadfully miserable, that's how you found me last night. I've reached my end, James. I've finally fallen," she said sadly. James' eyes lacked his usual spirit as he looked at Lily's heartbreaking expression. "It's alright Lily," he said comforting, "You have the Marauders now, we won't turn our backs on you. You just have to promise not to rebuild your wall, you need to open up to us. If you promise that, we promise we will never abandon you. Friends forever," James said solemnly, his hand now resting on Lily's knee, squeezing it gently. Lily nodded. Things were beginning to look up.