A/N: Yeris finally seriously sticks her foot in her mouth...

Chapter Eleven
The Dilemma of the Gods

Crysania stood there in stunned silence as she digested what Raistlin had just said. "Open?"

She heard him sigh, a sound she had learned to listen for when things were not quite going his way. It was not that he was prone to sighs, but there were times when she could clearly hear the exhale probably meant as one. Even when they had been back in time while in Istar and some of the Kingpriest's clerics had annoyed him (which, she had to admit, had never taken much), she often heard the slight exhale that was a bit deeper than his usual. It wasn't by far a complete sigh that others did where everyone knew that they had sighed, but subtle. Much like the man himself.

Crysania shook herself out of the reverie, again catching herself noticing the little things about him. A small smile graced her lips. She wondered how many people actually bothered to notice these little mundane things, these little human things, about Raistlin Majere. Caramon had often missed them and she was positive that was why Raistlin had felt smothered. Perhaps Caramon had missed an ever so subtle sigh that meant perhaps Raistlin just wanted to be alone to his thoughts, a subtle sigh meaning pain, another for actually needing help. Crysania had learned to listen, and she had heard at least five distinctly different sighs all meaning different things with Raistlin, as if he didn't speak so much as use his breathing to communicate.

"What?" came his voice.

"Hmm?"

"You're smiling at me again, that same little smile you always have when you know something I don't," he pointed out.

In a way, on the flip side of the coin, Raistlin had learned when they were back in time during the Dwarfgate war the different set of her lips. Granted, his attention had just been on her lips, her face, her nose... and other parts of her that he could enjoy without his hourglass eyes that he had not noticed before. One of those features was the different smiles, this one was a small half smile where she was thinking something.

"Just thinking," she said.

"What about this time?"

"You. Me," she answered. "Us in general."

A part of Raistlin shriveled in abject terror. He had heard tales upon tales from Caramon and other men about what a woman was actually thinking with the statement 'Us in general'. While he agreed in that there was quite a bit to be said, but there was no time now...!

As if she had read his mind, "If what you said on the stairs to Dalamar and your nephew is true, then now is the time. Too much has been left unsaid for it to be left for too late. If we wait, it just may be."

He found himself unable to argue with her logic, and he agreed, "I see your point. Crysania... I..."

She touched his lips, "Let me go first if you find yourself so tongue tied."

"No, because then people would say I was only telling you want you wanted to hear if I let you," he pointed out, and she nodded her agreement, then looked up at him in surprise, the full meaning hitting her. Why was it when he was using her, the words came so easy? "Crysania... I... dammit. Look, I'm not the best at this."

She took his hands, "I am sure that I know by now that you are an emotionally blunt person. Say what is on your mind."

"It isn't my mind that's in question here," he answered tersely. "And that's the problem. I can speak what's on my mind quite easily, thank you. We all know that. It's what is on my heart."

There was no answer for this, it wasn't required. Raistlin looked up and said, "Look Crysania, when I met you all I saw was what my eyes saw, you aging and dying before me. I told you the ugly truth. What I didn't tell you is that for as old as you appeared, I did not see you decay. I saw you blossom into an old woman that I want to grow old with."

For a moment, she had tears in her eyes, then her eyes went wide again. "Grow old with?!"

He smiled, even though he knew she couldn't see it. "Yes. I want to grow old with you, at your side. If you will let me, perhaps even father children with you. Can you even let me after all I've done to you, however? Would you allow me to even consider marriage?"

Tears of a different sort were running down her face. He sighed again, "There, I've spoken what I truly feel and want, but was too stupid to actually say when I had the chance."

"Yes."

It was so soft he wasn't sure he had heard it, and he looked up, "What?"

"Yes," she spoke louder, firmly. "Yes, I will marry you."

He blinked in surprise at the answer. For most of his life he had been too often rejected to even dream of hearing the answer that she had just given him. An unfamiliar, but not unwelcome, feeling spread through his being. It was as if he had drunk too much fine elven wine too fast and then stood up too quickly, as well as a warmth throughout his being. For once he would not be the one on the sidelines watching the others have all the happiness, for once he would not be laughed at by others as they watched him be rejected by the other girls for his brother.

This time around, it was him who won the girl.

Dalamar led Steel silently down the stairs, followed by the white tiger Tandar. Once Steel was at the door, Dalamar said, "Your army marches on the High Clerist Tower, but I fear you go home in shame, Dark Knight. You have failed in your mission."

"That as much I know," said Steel as he glared at the unapologetic tiger. "Don't worry, cat, I will see you again and next time you will not be guarded simply because you guard the Lady Crysania."

If it were possible, the tiger might have actually shrugged its indifference. As it was, Steel was sure that in some feline fashion it had. Dalamar chanted a few words and the Knight of Takhisis disappeared from sight. Then he turned on the white tiger, "I don't suppose you have an explanation, Valin."

The tiger looked at Dalamar cooly, Should I? Crysania had a vision sent to her by Paladine that told her that she must do precisely as she did. I never would been able to stop her had I even tried.

"You do realize that she will likely never profess her undying love for you with him still walking upon Krynn," snarled Dalamar.

Are you suggesting I help you off your own Shalafi? Dalamar, polymorphed I may be into this form, but evil like you I am not. No, I suspect that Raistlin is actually being honorable in his intentions for once. And if it makes her happy... the tiger sat on its hunches. Then there are worse things to be than a cat. You know, I could always be his familiar....

At this the tiger actually smiled, showing a toothy grin that looked more like he was going to bite off Dalamar's arm. Dalamar paled at the suggestion. "Then again I could always polymorph you to something else entirely. Enough," he grunted in thought. "I was actually hoping he would be sacrificed to our Dark Queen."

From the sound of it, it would have mattered little, pointed out Tandar. From the sound of it he had been chasing after something he always was- A God. Ironic, no?

Dalamar gasped as he turned to regard the tiger's intelligent eyes. By all the Gods of Krynn, the damn tiger was right. By even being able to challenge Takhisis, he had proven the one thing that would give most of the Conclave bouts of gas- Raistlin was already a God. No mortal could actually challenge a God on their own plane unless they were also a God of equal or greater power. It was so... simple... that Dalamar blinked a great number of times as the full implications hit him. If that were true, whether Raistlin was a proclaimed renegade or not, he just wasn't bound by the laws of mortals! Dalamar let a long string of curses loose while the tiger watched in bemusement. Raistlin had never needed to challenge the Dark Queen for his own godhood. Oh, it was ironic, certainly.

"I wonder if he knows that?"

I doubt it, Tandar pointed out. If he had he would have never bothered. No, he still thinks he's being yanked around by the different God's whims when in fact, if you bothered listening to your own Shalafi, it is his own subconscious calling out to him. And he doesn't even realize it!

"Which makes him vulnerable as a mortal still," breathed Dalamar.

Well, duh, Tandar rolled his eyes. He doesn't believe he's a God, but once he does know...

Dalamar ran towards his own lab and Tandar watched in puzzlement, Was it something I said?

Gilthanas watched the flurry of activity outside the window as the wizards walked back and forth from tower to tower, leaning on the frame as he did so. Tanin looked over at him, looked at the Staff of the Magius, then back to Gilthanas again, "What is it?"

"They are expecting something," said Gilthanas. "I'm not sure on what, though..."

Caramon had finally reached Solace. He had declined Tanis' offer of company home. It was better if he told Tika the truth about Palin before she heard it from somewhere, or someone else. He wasn't relishing the thought of a frying pan in reach, but he knew from the activity in the bustling inn that she was in the kitchen. He smiled at Dezra as he walked in. They had named their youngest daughter after her and never regretted it.

Tika looked up and, when she saw that none of her sons were with him, her brows knit. "Dezra, take over," she said simply, and Dezra did with a sad expression on her face.

The two women probably thought that if Caramon had returned without his sons, as he had sworn he would not do until he found them, then the news was not good. Tika followed him to their private and shared rooms that served as their apartment. Tika put her hands on her robust husband's lower arms and kissed him lightly on the lips, "It's good to see you, love."

"I've missed you," said Caramon heavily. "Tika, you may want to sit down."

She did, "Oh no, don't tell me this. Not now."

"I found them," said Caramon. "They were returning from a mission, well, sort of. They had been kidnapped into a mission, which they completed."

Tika's eyes widened, then she leaned back in the upholstered chair with a huge sigh of relief. "Thank the Gods," she breathed, but saw that Caramon still hadn't smiled yet. "What is it?"

"It's about Palin..."

"What color is his robes?" she asked warily.

"He's... ah... well...."

"He is alive?" she asked pointedly, and when her husband looked down at the floor she put her head in her hands. "How?"

"During his Test."

She looked up, her brows knit into a confused line. "What?! But... but... he recovered here. I kissed him in congratulations. If it wasn't Palin... OH NO! You can't be serious."

Caramon nodded, "I'm afraid I am. It was my brother, Raistlin, the entire time."

She stood up and began to pace, "Why that sneaky, underhanded... that SNEAK!!"

"He didn't mean it that way..."

"Oh, then how in the Abyss did he mean it?" she held up her hand. "Speaking of which, how did he even manage it?"

Caramon sighed deeply again, then began to tell his wife the tale of how her brother in law escaped the Abyss...

Raistlin and Crysania walked through the Portal, this time a different aim in mind. Raistlin frowned in concern. The Abyss was strangely and eerily silent. They began walking in the direction that, when held, the Blue Star glowed the brightest. Raistlin watched as the abyssal plain changed marginally to come to show a massive mountain. He helped Crysania climb as a set of blue stairs appeared.

Something within Raistlin answered the call of the stairs, and with her hand in the crook of his arm, they began to climb the stairs. He wasn't sure how long it took but once at the top they found a Temple. He led her within, knowing that the last time he had been here this had not been part of the local geography.

Another part of him, where the instinctive knowledge lay, told him that is was because they were no longer within the Abyss. They entered the coliseum and he helped her to a place where they were not seen. He recognized all of the Gods present, as well as a few he did not know. But again, some part of him knew who they were and identified them as Gods of other worlds.

"Order!" called Gilean. "I understand if we are all rather disturbed and alarmed by this turn of events, but without order we will not have a plan of action, and without such we are all doomed."

"I agree," said a woman, Mystra, the Goddess of Magic on Faerun, the name was supplied by the Blue Star to Raistlin. "Please, let us have order."

The pandemonium quieted, and Raistlin held Crysania's hand tighter, sensing her awe at knowing that all the Gods were in one room. They listened, and Raistlin supported Crysania as she slept upon his shoulder. Time passed, and still the Gods debated. Finally, the Blue Star began to flare, and Raistlin gently laid down Crysania, kissing his hand and laying two fingers on her lips. Getting up, he walked into the midst of the Gods.

The result was silence as one unfamiliar God, Torm, if his memory served, asked Chislev, "Who is this mortal?"

Raistlin answered, "Gods, Goddesses, Demi-Gods and others, my name is Raistlin Majere, Master of Past and Present. The Gods of Krynn, and a few others, already know of me. For those who don't, I am also known as Miiro, a Fragment of the Shattered God and Brother of Chaos. I give you your answer..."

Crysania woke up a few hours, or, at least, it felt like a few hours later to hear the Gods speak of Chaos, and what the true fate of all the worlds of Creation was. She then saw Raistlin leaving the center of the God's Conclave. When he reached her he took her by the arm and she said, "Raistlin?"

"Hmm?"

"I can see," she pointed out. "Why is that?"

"I have no idea," he said. "Perhaps, it is a gift of the Gods. Perhaps they figure that you will need the advantage in the coming war."

"It is truly that bad?"

He looked at her sadly, "Unfortunately, it is. Many sacrifices will have to be made."

They walked back down the stairs and back to the Portal. Crysania stumbled once and he turned to see skeletal hands reaching up to grasp her and pull her down. He quickly seized her by both hands, "No!"

He was aware of the presence of the Dark Queen before he actually saw her, and without letting go of Crysania, he turned on Takhisis, "Let her go!"

"I am willing to let your transgressions pass, Miiro," her five heads shrieked in triumph. "But I will keep her so that you remember to hold up to your end of the bargain you made!"

"What bargain?" asked Crysania. "What is she talking about?"

Raistlin pressed his lips together until they formed a thin line, "I held that end up! It was not my fault if he was not brave enough to enter the lab in the end!"

"I speak of releasing me, Raistlin," the five headed dragon disappeared to be replaced by the Dark Warrior. "I shall release her if you release me. Freedom for freedom, or shackles for shackles. I leave it up to you."

Crysania paled, "No, don't do it...."

Raistlin looked from where he just barely kept Crysania from sinking into the dust of the Abyss, and to the Dark Queen. He closed his eyes and kissed Crysania on the lips, and heard her whisper, "Paladine will protect me, but there will be no protection if you allow her to enter Krynn for anybody with both her and Chaos..."

Raistlin opened his eyes and turned to the Dark Queen, "I'll do it."

Even though she wasn't appearing as the dragon, he could hear five voices shriek in triumph even as he heard Crysania crying into his robe. The hands released Crysania and Raistlin helped her to her feet. With his arm supporting her, and her arm around him, they followed the Dark Warrior to the Portal. Takhisis pointed to the Portal. "Now, release me."

"You first," he said. "You have a nasty habit of breaking your word."

She snarled at this, but allowed him to push Crysania through the portal and to his lab. The Dark Warrior laughed in triumph. "Finally I shall enter the world!" she stepped up the two steps to the shimmering Portal just as the Blue Star began to emit the blinding blue light. "I have a habit of not holding up to my bargains?! What of you?"

A voice that was not Raistlin's, but eerily still was, boomed across the Abyss, "KNEEL BALANCE BREAKER."

The Dark Queen screamed in terror as she was forced to her knees, "Oh, I should have known you would interfere! But you know perfectly well that every time you do, you kill your precious Guardian bit by agonizing bit. I wait for the day when you must find a new Guardian after this shell of yours is burnt out.";

"WAIT FOR A LONG TIME, TAKHISIS," answered the voice of the Miiro. "STAY IN YOUR PLACE WHILE CHAOS IS PUT IN HIS."

A few moments later, Raistlin slumped to the ground. Takhisis, none too gently, threw him through the Portal, shouting, "Enjoy the reprieve... while it lasts."

With that the Portal went dark. Crysania, again bereft of her sight unless it was just that dark in the lab, crawled until she found Raistlin and cradled his limp head in her lap. Finally, with a moan, he came around and murmured, "Where are we?"

"In your lab," she whispered.

"How? When did we get here?"

"You don't remember?!" Crysania, by far, was not going to forget what she had heard during the final moments of the Abyss.

"All I remember is the Dark Queen," he sat bolt upright, groaned from the dizzy spell that caused, then took a deep steadying breath. "I didn't... I didn't release her?"

Crysania could hardly believe it, but was not surprised. Raistlin did not appear to remember manifesting himself as the Miiro, although it was not an experience she would ever forget as long as she lived. "No, you did not... There was some... ah... divine intervention."

He nodded, "So, you were right. Paladine did protect you. I'm glad."

She worried her bottom lip at this and laughed weakly, "The Gods protect their own..."

A few hours later, Raistlin opened the door to his lab, leaning on the doorjamb as he did so. He could feel a coughing coming on and didn't feel like having it in the hallway. Crysania helped him down the stairs and to his private suite. While it had been a long time since she had been able to see, in a way she did wish that the first thing she had seen had not been his lab.

At least his study and sleeping chamber was a bit more pleasant and less sickening. She helped him lay down and boiled water in a kettle to make his tea for him. He sat up in bed, leaning in the pillows she had fluffed and arranged to make him comfortable. Sipping his tea that loosened his chest and throat, he said, "It has been awhile since I stayed here."

She looked up in surprise. "You mean you haven't since returning to Krynn?"

"No, I woke up in Solace with everyone thinking I was Palin," Raistlin thought back to just over a year ago and how much had changed since then. "With how many people now know I walk Krynn again, everyone is bound to know of Palin's death. My mission, even if I gave it to myself, is a failure."

"You could not have foreseen the current dilemma," she pointed out. "If none of this had happened, no one would know. You would still be Palin, not Raistlin. But... even as much as I miss Palin for never meeting the boy, I am glad we have you back."

"I'm glad to myself back," he said ruefully. "And that's the worst part about it. I never really got a chance to know Palin. I would have liked to..."

They fell into an easy silence and Crysania, noticing that Raistlin was beginning to fall asleep on her, took the empty tea cup from his hands. She took a few of the pillows out from under him so that he could lay down properly. A few minutes later he was deeply asleep. Crysania kicked off her own shoes and slid in beside him, using a few of the pillows for herself. Moments later, she was also asleep.

Yeris was sitting dejectedly trying to eat breakfast when one of the junior students came up to her and said, "I think your Knight returned and is in his usual room."

She perked up immediately, "Are you sure it's him?"

The apprentice shrugged, as they had not gotten a clear look other than the form that had entered the Master's suites. "Couldn't see him clearly. I only caught motion going in there and a small flash of light off metal."

Yeris took off, climbing the stairs almost two at a time.

Ironically, the apprentice had been honest with her. All he had seen was a form and a small flash of light of metal. Unfortunately, it had been Crysania's silver medallion of faith and the form was not Sturm Majere...

Yeris pushed the outer study door open, noting the dirt on the carpet. Licking her lips in anticipation she then quietly snuck into the sleeping chamber. She stopped when she saw the woman sleeping beside the man obviously not Sturm. Silently she took stock of the situation, noted the black robes draped on the chair, the thin, but handsome, figure of the man laying asleep in the large bed.

Then she recognized him as Palin, Sturm's younger brother and the cleric who slept half on the covers as Crysania, the cleric of Paladine who had gone missing weeks ago. Curious, thought Yeris. The White Robe falls... Yeris backed out of the room and into another form. Letting a small squeak of surprise loose she turned to the neutral expression on Master Dalamar's face. "Apprentice Black Robe Yeris, an odd place for you to be poking your nose into," he said evenly.

"I thought that Sturm was here..." she explained lamely, knowing that she would have to explain why she would sneak in if Sturm was.

Dalamar merely lifted a brow, "And found my Shalafi instead?"

A part of Yeris' mind went blank in shock. Well, that would explain the Black Robe the wizard had draped on the chair... "That was Raistlin?" she squeaked even quieter.

"Yes, that was," came a whispering voice behind her.

Yeris turned and blinked at the still rather sleepy form of Raistlin who stood there with a simple and loose drawstring pant that he obviously only wore when sleeping, but no tunic or light shirt. Her eyes roved over his body and mused, He isn't that half bad looking.

It was then when the logical part of her brain caught up, "Don't you have gold skin, gold eyes and white hair?"

Within the time it took to blink, he was suddenly as she described. Except now he leaned nonchalantly against the door frame with his arms crossed. "Now, may I ask why you were sneaking into my bedchamber?"

"She thought you were your nephew," explained Dalamar. "I assure you, Shalafi, I will make sure she is punished."

"For what? Trying to surprise a boyfriend?" Raistlin sighed, then said to Yeris. "Don't do it again unless you know for a fact that the person you are looking for is indeed behind these doors, understood?"

Yeris nodded, and Raistlin, turning his attention back to Dalamar and letting the gold tinge of his skin fade into normalcy said, "There is no need to punish her. I trust it won't happen again. I find this more... amusing... than a true disturbance. Reminds me of my sister, had Kitiara ever become a wizard, anyway. Good night."

With that the most powerful wizard in all of Krynn re-entered his bedchamber leaving an astonished Yeris and a slightly bored Dalamar. Dalamar sighed then turned to Yeris, "Don't you have studies to attend to, Apprentice?"

"Oh, yes!" Yeris left so fast that the sound of her rustling robes was all that was left in the room besides Dalamar who stood staring at the bedchamber door with a deep frown on his face.