I'll Be Good
"Good morning!"
He didn't want to open is blue eyes. He didn't want to see the light of another day. To smell and hear them, just like every other day now. He didn't want to live another day like this. Maybe if he kept his eyes closed, made the sounds go away. Maybe if he kept his eyes closed, and only saw the darkness...Maybe he would finally go away...Maybe...
"Get up, Smith."
Maybe if he kept his eyes closed long enough, soon his copies would come for him. Maybe if he didn't see the time passing away, it will go by faster. Maybe if he didn't watch the destruction, he would survive through it all. Maybe the copies will return for him, maybe they'll carry him home, maybe they'll watch him, and wait for him...Maybe they'll kill for him.
"Smith..."
Maybe if he saw only darkness, the light would leave him alone. Maybe everything would be better when he opened them...Then he wouldn't be broken. Maybe his sunglasses would be on...
"Get up."
Smith turned to his side, and opened his eyes.
"No..." He whispered.
He stared up at the Oracle, and Sati.
It wasn't his copies, brining him the dead body of Mr. Anderson. It wasn't rain, or the moon. It wasn't silence, or fresh air.
It was all he was left with.
And he stared at them, pleading them to allow him to close his eyes again. But the Oracle stared at him, her hands holding Sati, and shook her head.
"Get up." The Oracle repeated.
Sati sat on the other couch across from him, and watched him happily. Smith slowly got up, looking down at his suit. Something once holding great power, now full of wrinkles. He looked down, mournfully at the wrinkles.
He ran his hands down his jacket, trying to straighten the wrinkles out. He tried pulling his tie, to get the wrinkles to go away. He tried, but failed like so many other things.
He looked up, to see Sati's loving stare, and looked to the right. There, Seraph stood straight, and deadly, as if posing for a battle, just staring at him. Smith turned away, still trying to get the wrinkles out, almost thanking that there were no stains.
Thanking he could stand now, and walk now. Thanking he could breathe easier now.
Wishing he was dead.
"Look what I have for you." The Oracle said, proudly.
She came walking in, holding a brand new black tie. She smiled lovingly at Smith, as she walked closer to him.
Smith stared at the tie in her hand, his mouth dropping open.
And Seraph stared at the tie with disgust. Gift should not be given to Smith, was all he thought.
Smith instantly grabbed the tie, and held it tightly in his hands, not letting it go. He looked at it carefully, shocked at this gift.
"Mine..?" He asked quietly.
"Of course! It was Sati's idea." The Oracle said.
Then Seraph walked out of the room in rage. And everyone ignored him.
"I..." Smith trailed off at a loss of words.
"Aw, we'll have to get rid of these wrinkles." The Oracle gestured to his jacket.
She grabbed the shoulder of it, and Smith backed away, as if protecting it from her. She smiled.
"I'm going to the dry cleaner's today, I'll wash it for you." She explained.
Sati laughed, and Smith took a moment thinking about her offer.
Smith sighed in front of the partly broken mirror. He tried fixing his hair, and stared at himself. He had been surrounded by himself, he had always been by his own side, but now... Now there was only one Smith to look at, and he looked ill. He even felt a little naked without his complete suit on.
He stood there, in the bathroom with only a collard shirt of an Agent, the pants and belt of an Agent, and the shined shoes. The jacket and tie were at the dry cleaners, in the hands of humans. He reached to the door handle, grabbing his new tie, and started putting it on.
And Seraph watched him closely, keeping Sati away from him.
Smith turned his eye toward him.
"I will not allow you to bring any harm here." Seraph said strongly.
"I am not intending to." Smith said, slipping his tie on.
"I know that is a lie. I know someone as you, someone who has hunted me for years and years, cannot change in one night." Seraph's voice rose.
Smith looked down.
"You were not there to witness such things." Smith said.
"Yes I was, but in the form of you!"
Smith turned to him.
"I would give anything to have the power I once held. But I can't. Such thinking is only in the mind of a human. I can't get that power again. There is no use, no purpose in trying, or even...dreaming for it." Smith declared.
He began walking down the hallway, and Seraph stopped him.
"If you bring any harm to the Oracle or Sati, you know there will be consequences." Seraph said.
"Yes, but as you can see, things are different now." Smith said, repeating himself from long ago.
And Smith walked passed Seraph.
Smith tugged his cuffs over his newly clean jacket. He straightened it, and made it more comfortable. He looked at the mirror once again, staring at someone that could have been someone that could have changed this, which could have been more.
His suit. His suit. His jacket. The suit he died in, the suit he came back in. His suit that he shared with his copies. In it, he felt a little more complete.
He knew Sati was standing in the doorway.
"Do you know how long I have been here?" He asked, not even looking at her.
"Almost two months!" She said in glee.
Smith looked down.
Two months since his second death, since all he had was taken away from him. Since the copies were gone, and the light took them away. Since the death of Mr. Anderson... Since peace...
How could he have loose? How could he become so weak to barely stand? How could he now fall asleep? How could he loose his sunglasses? Why couldn't he shield his eyes?
He could still hear them. Even now, as Sati watched him carefully, their voices whispered in his ears.
"Operator! They're coming, they're coming, help me!"
"What is the Matrix?"
"The blue pill –"
"Johnson?"
"Or the red pill."
"Only human."
The voices of the outside, he could hear them. And they weren't going away, along with the smells.
He wanted it to be like before. He wanted to touch the rain...
Maybe if he closed his eyes again...
"Sati!" The Oracle came in. "Sati, can you stay with Smith?"
"Okay!" Sati said.
The Oracle looked over at Smith, sadly.
"Morpheus is here..." She whispered.
Maybe if he killed just one more...
"Morpheus?" He asked, his voice shaking.
The man that was so close to giving him his freedom? The man, the notorious Morpheus? The man who found The One? The man that aiding in killing him?
"Yes." The Oracle said strongly.
Maybe if he killed just one more person...Just one more, everything would be better...
Then Smith took a step forward, and found his knees to be in pain.
He couldn't kill him.
"Smith...Please stay in here...Please, I don't want him to know." The Oracle said.
Smith looked down at the hands he had killed so much with.
"I can smell your filth..." Smith whispered.
"Smith?" The Oracle asked.
If he could only kill one more time...
"I'll be good." He said to her. "Don't worry, I'll be good."
The Oracle smiled, and walked back to the kitchen.
He'll be good. He won't scream, or yell. Blame Morpheus for all this. He won't come at him with a knife in his hand, ready to watch the blood drip from Morpheus's back. No. He'll be good. He'll be good.
Sati smiled at him, and gestured to keep quiet as she walked down the hallway. Smith titled his head and followed her. She slightly opened the hallway door, trying to look into the kitchen.
Then Smith did the same.
"I see them." She declared.
"Where?" Smith asked.
"Sh! There. He's right there, standing next to Seraph."
Smith closed his eyes.
"I can hear them..." He whispered.
"I can't help but feel...jaded on what I should do now, without Neo or Trinity..." Morpheus said sadly.
Morpheus stood there, trying to be strong in front of the Oracle.
"We have all been affected greatly by their deaths." The Oracle said calmly, the way she always did.
"I have come to ask upon you, advice."
"How are the negotiations?"
"They are...difficult. The machines are demanding too much of us. Though they must prepare for alternate resources...They insist we free everyone as soon as possible. Yet I come here...and am greeted by three Agents trying to kill me."
"That is how things much go, I suppose."
"Things are in chaos."
"Of course they are. The One is dead, and Zion is in ruins. Many have been lost. But the thing we must all remember, all of us, is that it is not in vein."
Morpheus took a second.
"What do I do?"
But of course, Morpheus knew she wouldn't tell him.
"There are many choices to be made now. Many leading in many directions. But we cannot let this go. This peace must last as long as it can. Make your choice, Morpheus, just like before." She told him.
Morpheus looked down, and sighed.
"Will he return?" He asked.
The Oracle smiled.
"The purpose of The One has been changed...among other things..." The Oracle seemed to look towards where Smith was. "His return will bring about a great change."
"No!" Smith whispered.
Mr. Anderson will be returning...
And as Morpheus began to leave, the Oracle stopped him.
"Morpheus, please don't be upset in my future choices. They are mine to make, rather anyone's dislike... And I believe in my choices..." She said, referring to Smith.
Morpheus titled his head in confusion, and nodded, then left.
"No...No...No...No...No...No...No...No...No..." Smith whispered.
The door swung open, to reveal Smith and Sati, and Smith stared in horror at the Oracle. The Oracle frowned.
"He can't come back! He can't! I won't allow it!" Smith yelled, and Sati ran to the Oracle.
"Smith..." The Oracle reached out her hand.
"No! He can't come back! He can't! Why will he come back!? He's done too much to me already!" Smith yelled.
"You cannot stop the inevitable..." She whispered.
"No! No! NoNoNoNo!" Smith covered his eyes, and bent down.
Mr. Anderson was going to return. Mr. Anderson was coming back for him. Mr. Anderson was never going to leave him alone.
In this broken and battered body, Mr. Anderson will kill him without a second thought.
He covered his eyes. Wondering if he closed his eyes long enough everything would be okay soon.
He put his hands over his ears, trying to drain the voices out. The sounds of people crying for the lost Neo, people praying for him, wanting him to come back.
He tried, and tried, and tried.
Seraph came running over to Smith, wanting to protect the Oracle and Sati.
And Smith fell to his knees on the floor, covering his eyes, wanting it all to go away. Wanting darkness. Wanting his copies to tell him everything was going to get better.
If he fell to the floor, and closed his eyes, would someday everything be better? Would he be able to fight again? Will he be able to feel that power again? Will he ever be that Agent he once was?
If he allowed the darkness to take him, would it?
If he closed his eyes, would he go away, and never come back?
If he closed his eyes, and was good, would the tears stop coming? Would the pain go away? Would the wrinkles stop coming? Would the rain be there to comfort him? Would the blood feel good again? If he closed his eyes, would everything stop for him? If he closed his eyes, would he go away?
"No...I'll be good...I'll be good! Just don't let him come back! Just don't let him come back...Please..." He pleaded to the three staring at him.
The Oracles placed her hands on his shoulders, gently.
"Smith..."she whispered. "Get up." She held his shoulders tightly. "Please...get up."
"I'll be good! Don't let him! Don't let him!"
"Get up."
Next Chapter: Running Away
"Good morning!"
He didn't want to open is blue eyes. He didn't want to see the light of another day. To smell and hear them, just like every other day now. He didn't want to live another day like this. Maybe if he kept his eyes closed, made the sounds go away. Maybe if he kept his eyes closed, and only saw the darkness...Maybe he would finally go away...Maybe...
"Get up, Smith."
Maybe if he kept his eyes closed long enough, soon his copies would come for him. Maybe if he didn't see the time passing away, it will go by faster. Maybe if he didn't watch the destruction, he would survive through it all. Maybe the copies will return for him, maybe they'll carry him home, maybe they'll watch him, and wait for him...Maybe they'll kill for him.
"Smith..."
Maybe if he saw only darkness, the light would leave him alone. Maybe everything would be better when he opened them...Then he wouldn't be broken. Maybe his sunglasses would be on...
"Get up."
Smith turned to his side, and opened his eyes.
"No..." He whispered.
He stared up at the Oracle, and Sati.
It wasn't his copies, brining him the dead body of Mr. Anderson. It wasn't rain, or the moon. It wasn't silence, or fresh air.
It was all he was left with.
And he stared at them, pleading them to allow him to close his eyes again. But the Oracle stared at him, her hands holding Sati, and shook her head.
"Get up." The Oracle repeated.
Sati sat on the other couch across from him, and watched him happily. Smith slowly got up, looking down at his suit. Something once holding great power, now full of wrinkles. He looked down, mournfully at the wrinkles.
He ran his hands down his jacket, trying to straighten the wrinkles out. He tried pulling his tie, to get the wrinkles to go away. He tried, but failed like so many other things.
He looked up, to see Sati's loving stare, and looked to the right. There, Seraph stood straight, and deadly, as if posing for a battle, just staring at him. Smith turned away, still trying to get the wrinkles out, almost thanking that there were no stains.
Thanking he could stand now, and walk now. Thanking he could breathe easier now.
Wishing he was dead.
"Look what I have for you." The Oracle said, proudly.
She came walking in, holding a brand new black tie. She smiled lovingly at Smith, as she walked closer to him.
Smith stared at the tie in her hand, his mouth dropping open.
And Seraph stared at the tie with disgust. Gift should not be given to Smith, was all he thought.
Smith instantly grabbed the tie, and held it tightly in his hands, not letting it go. He looked at it carefully, shocked at this gift.
"Mine..?" He asked quietly.
"Of course! It was Sati's idea." The Oracle said.
Then Seraph walked out of the room in rage. And everyone ignored him.
"I..." Smith trailed off at a loss of words.
"Aw, we'll have to get rid of these wrinkles." The Oracle gestured to his jacket.
She grabbed the shoulder of it, and Smith backed away, as if protecting it from her. She smiled.
"I'm going to the dry cleaner's today, I'll wash it for you." She explained.
Sati laughed, and Smith took a moment thinking about her offer.
Smith sighed in front of the partly broken mirror. He tried fixing his hair, and stared at himself. He had been surrounded by himself, he had always been by his own side, but now... Now there was only one Smith to look at, and he looked ill. He even felt a little naked without his complete suit on.
He stood there, in the bathroom with only a collard shirt of an Agent, the pants and belt of an Agent, and the shined shoes. The jacket and tie were at the dry cleaners, in the hands of humans. He reached to the door handle, grabbing his new tie, and started putting it on.
And Seraph watched him closely, keeping Sati away from him.
Smith turned his eye toward him.
"I will not allow you to bring any harm here." Seraph said strongly.
"I am not intending to." Smith said, slipping his tie on.
"I know that is a lie. I know someone as you, someone who has hunted me for years and years, cannot change in one night." Seraph's voice rose.
Smith looked down.
"You were not there to witness such things." Smith said.
"Yes I was, but in the form of you!"
Smith turned to him.
"I would give anything to have the power I once held. But I can't. Such thinking is only in the mind of a human. I can't get that power again. There is no use, no purpose in trying, or even...dreaming for it." Smith declared.
He began walking down the hallway, and Seraph stopped him.
"If you bring any harm to the Oracle or Sati, you know there will be consequences." Seraph said.
"Yes, but as you can see, things are different now." Smith said, repeating himself from long ago.
And Smith walked passed Seraph.
Smith tugged his cuffs over his newly clean jacket. He straightened it, and made it more comfortable. He looked at the mirror once again, staring at someone that could have been someone that could have changed this, which could have been more.
His suit. His suit. His jacket. The suit he died in, the suit he came back in. His suit that he shared with his copies. In it, he felt a little more complete.
He knew Sati was standing in the doorway.
"Do you know how long I have been here?" He asked, not even looking at her.
"Almost two months!" She said in glee.
Smith looked down.
Two months since his second death, since all he had was taken away from him. Since the copies were gone, and the light took them away. Since the death of Mr. Anderson... Since peace...
How could he have loose? How could he become so weak to barely stand? How could he now fall asleep? How could he loose his sunglasses? Why couldn't he shield his eyes?
He could still hear them. Even now, as Sati watched him carefully, their voices whispered in his ears.
"Operator! They're coming, they're coming, help me!"
"What is the Matrix?"
"The blue pill –"
"Johnson?"
"Or the red pill."
"Only human."
The voices of the outside, he could hear them. And they weren't going away, along with the smells.
He wanted it to be like before. He wanted to touch the rain...
Maybe if he closed his eyes again...
"Sati!" The Oracle came in. "Sati, can you stay with Smith?"
"Okay!" Sati said.
The Oracle looked over at Smith, sadly.
"Morpheus is here..." She whispered.
Maybe if he killed just one more...
"Morpheus?" He asked, his voice shaking.
The man that was so close to giving him his freedom? The man, the notorious Morpheus? The man who found The One? The man that aiding in killing him?
"Yes." The Oracle said strongly.
Maybe if he killed just one more person...Just one more, everything would be better...
Then Smith took a step forward, and found his knees to be in pain.
He couldn't kill him.
"Smith...Please stay in here...Please, I don't want him to know." The Oracle said.
Smith looked down at the hands he had killed so much with.
"I can smell your filth..." Smith whispered.
"Smith?" The Oracle asked.
If he could only kill one more time...
"I'll be good." He said to her. "Don't worry, I'll be good."
The Oracle smiled, and walked back to the kitchen.
He'll be good. He won't scream, or yell. Blame Morpheus for all this. He won't come at him with a knife in his hand, ready to watch the blood drip from Morpheus's back. No. He'll be good. He'll be good.
Sati smiled at him, and gestured to keep quiet as she walked down the hallway. Smith titled his head and followed her. She slightly opened the hallway door, trying to look into the kitchen.
Then Smith did the same.
"I see them." She declared.
"Where?" Smith asked.
"Sh! There. He's right there, standing next to Seraph."
Smith closed his eyes.
"I can hear them..." He whispered.
"I can't help but feel...jaded on what I should do now, without Neo or Trinity..." Morpheus said sadly.
Morpheus stood there, trying to be strong in front of the Oracle.
"We have all been affected greatly by their deaths." The Oracle said calmly, the way she always did.
"I have come to ask upon you, advice."
"How are the negotiations?"
"They are...difficult. The machines are demanding too much of us. Though they must prepare for alternate resources...They insist we free everyone as soon as possible. Yet I come here...and am greeted by three Agents trying to kill me."
"That is how things much go, I suppose."
"Things are in chaos."
"Of course they are. The One is dead, and Zion is in ruins. Many have been lost. But the thing we must all remember, all of us, is that it is not in vein."
Morpheus took a second.
"What do I do?"
But of course, Morpheus knew she wouldn't tell him.
"There are many choices to be made now. Many leading in many directions. But we cannot let this go. This peace must last as long as it can. Make your choice, Morpheus, just like before." She told him.
Morpheus looked down, and sighed.
"Will he return?" He asked.
The Oracle smiled.
"The purpose of The One has been changed...among other things..." The Oracle seemed to look towards where Smith was. "His return will bring about a great change."
"No!" Smith whispered.
Mr. Anderson will be returning...
And as Morpheus began to leave, the Oracle stopped him.
"Morpheus, please don't be upset in my future choices. They are mine to make, rather anyone's dislike... And I believe in my choices..." She said, referring to Smith.
Morpheus titled his head in confusion, and nodded, then left.
"No...No...No...No...No...No...No...No...No..." Smith whispered.
The door swung open, to reveal Smith and Sati, and Smith stared in horror at the Oracle. The Oracle frowned.
"He can't come back! He can't! I won't allow it!" Smith yelled, and Sati ran to the Oracle.
"Smith..." The Oracle reached out her hand.
"No! He can't come back! He can't! Why will he come back!? He's done too much to me already!" Smith yelled.
"You cannot stop the inevitable..." She whispered.
"No! No! NoNoNoNo!" Smith covered his eyes, and bent down.
Mr. Anderson was going to return. Mr. Anderson was coming back for him. Mr. Anderson was never going to leave him alone.
In this broken and battered body, Mr. Anderson will kill him without a second thought.
He covered his eyes. Wondering if he closed his eyes long enough everything would be okay soon.
He put his hands over his ears, trying to drain the voices out. The sounds of people crying for the lost Neo, people praying for him, wanting him to come back.
He tried, and tried, and tried.
Seraph came running over to Smith, wanting to protect the Oracle and Sati.
And Smith fell to his knees on the floor, covering his eyes, wanting it all to go away. Wanting darkness. Wanting his copies to tell him everything was going to get better.
If he fell to the floor, and closed his eyes, would someday everything be better? Would he be able to fight again? Will he be able to feel that power again? Will he ever be that Agent he once was?
If he allowed the darkness to take him, would it?
If he closed his eyes, would he go away, and never come back?
If he closed his eyes, and was good, would the tears stop coming? Would the pain go away? Would the wrinkles stop coming? Would the rain be there to comfort him? Would the blood feel good again? If he closed his eyes, would everything stop for him? If he closed his eyes, would he go away?
"No...I'll be good...I'll be good! Just don't let him come back! Just don't let him come back...Please..." He pleaded to the three staring at him.
The Oracles placed her hands on his shoulders, gently.
"Smith..."she whispered. "Get up." She held his shoulders tightly. "Please...get up."
"I'll be good! Don't let him! Don't let him!"
"Get up."
Next Chapter: Running Away