But to James' dismay, Lily was not in Great Hall. However, his fan club was there and they were anxiously waiting his arrival at the Gryffindor table. James groaned as they waved him over and began chatting animatedly with him when he sat down next to Remus.
"Jamesy, are you paying attention?" Rhenna asked.
"Yeah…sure thing Rhenna," James said, staring blankly at the empty plate in front of him.
"Hey mate, you going to eat anything?" Sirius asked while he was still piling some food onto his own plate. James groaned again and laid his head down on the table.
"You alright, James?" Remus asked worriedly.
"Tired," came his muffled response. Remus dropped his voice to a whisper so only James could hear and asked him how things went with Lily.
"Didn't. She wasn't in her dorm. Cleo told me they hadn't seen her all morning."
"Don't worry about it, you'll see her in Herbology. We have it first thing anyways," Remus said, trying to console James. He nodded in response and closed his eyes sleepily.
"What's wrong with James?" Sirius questioned. James sat up again, yawned and rubbed his eyes, knocking his glasses askew in the process. He looked around the Great Hall in a daze before putting his glasses back on.
"C'mon guys, let's head to Herbology. Lily'll probably be there," Remus said quickly. Peter's face dropped into a frown but quickly hid it when James glanced at him. Walking to Herbology the conversation was on everything but Lily. Rick Tuner appeared in front of them suddenly and reminded James and Sirius of Quidditch practice that evening. James' tired face soon lit up at the sound of Quidditch and Sirius grinned widely.
"You going to come to practice?" he asked Peter, he already knew that Remus couldn't because of his lycanthropy.
"Wouldn't miss it for the world!" Peter squeaked. The excitement of Quidditch soon faded when the Marauders realized that Lily was not in Greenhouse Three with some of the early rising Gryffindors. Soon the rest of Gryffindor and Hufflepuff straggled into the class and Lily still wasn't in sight.
Late at night, Lily had returned to her corner in the Astronomy Tower, bringing her diary with her this time. She was constantly writing and didn't notice the light of the dawn. There were dark circles under her tired eyes but she couldn't stop writing. The only thing on her mind was Chris and she knew she couldn't cry. She felt hatred towards the Marauders, for bringing the memories back. She had tried to hide them deep within her mind, thinking of school and other things to keep her thoughts of his death. But now, with the appearance of the Marauders, she had to relive the dreadful memories and every night she wanted to cry herself to sleep. She had to be strong for him, though, she refused to break under the misery. The fact that Petunia still refused to talk to her and the hatred of half the girls in the school did not make the situation any better.
Lily gasped when she looked up from her diary. The sun was now shining brightly in the Tower and Lily realized she was probably late for her first class, Herbology. Running down from the Tower and rushing out of the castle, Lily made her way quickly to the greenhouse that her class occupied. She walked in and was met with a disapproving glare from Professor Humus. Lily apologized and sat down in the only vacant seat which happened to be next to James. She reviewed her surroundings and saw Remus sitting with Peter and Sirius with Ash Lynn. She seemed quite surprised to see that the seat next to James was empty considering all the girls wanted to sit next to him.
"I saved the seat, just for you," James whispered as the Professor continued with her lesson. Lily blushed but didn't return a comment. She had to remember that she wanted nothing to do with them.
"Where were you?" James seemed persistent on talking to her but Lily ignored him. "Lily, c'mon, talk to me…I'm really sorry about last night. I just--"
"Mr. Potter if you would please, I am trying to teach a lesson! Miss. Evans I would expect more courtesy from you. Detention for both of you!" Professor Humble exclaimed, frustrated from being interrupted. Lily glared at James for getting her in trouble and James buried his head in his hands. He just ruined his chances again.
When the class was over, Lily made her way up to the castle and ignored all pleas from James to listen to him.
"Lily, I'm sorry. Please forgive me!" he pleaded. This continued until they reached the Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom. Lily sat in the front seat, while Remus pulled James into the back of the classroom.
"James, you got a detention tonight already with Professor McGonagall! What are you going to do?"
"I don't know. I'll talk to Professor Humus."
Defense Against the Dark Arts went without incident, as did the remainder of the day. During break, James had talked to Professor Humus and she changed Lily and James detention to Monday night, the same night Remus had detention with McGonagall. At dinner, James was unusually subdued and kept sneaking glances at Lily. She sat writing in her diary, not even bothering to eat.
"I haven't seen her eat anything in days," James commented idly.
"Just leave her alone for a while James. Let her cool off, she'll loosen up in a bit, don't worry," Remus said reassuringly. James continued with his meal and when he finished, Sirius and Peter dragged him towards the common room while Remus made his way to Madame Pomphrey.
It was exceptionally loud at this time of night and a lot of the older students reprimanded the younger ones for disturbing the quiet. It was still near the beginning of the term and the teachers left no time to pile on the homework. The Marauders pulled out the only homework they had; a transfiguration essay for McGonagall and worked on it until it was time for Quidditch practice. James and Sirius grabbed their brooms and headed towards the Quidditch Pitch with Peter following behind them. Practice went smoothly and it seemed James and Sirius had not lost any skills over the summer holiday.
"Great practice, guys!" Rick called out after practice had finished, "I'll see you guys Sunday night for another practice!" The Marauders walked back into the castle together and to the Gryffindor common room. James and Sirius put their brooms away and joined Peter, finishing up their transfiguration essay. In no time at all, it was quarter of eight and it was time for their detention. James stood up and stretched, noticing Lily sitting alone in a corner, working on the same essay. James began walking towards her, but was pulled towards the portrait hole by Sirius. Professor McGonagall had them go to the Mr. Lyon, the caretaker for their punishment. He had the Marauders scrubbing every trophy in the trophy room until he could see his own reflection in them.
Walking back to the common room two hours later, tired and sore, the Marauders complained loudly about the treatment they had received.
"My hands are wrinkled from that water! Why couldn't we have used magic?" Sirius grumbled. James grinned and reminded him that it was their punishment for the prank they pulled. "Ah, yes that was a great prank," he said smiling fondly at the memory.
"Mimblewimble," James mumbled to the portrait of the Fat Lady, she welcomed them back and the boys collapsed in the closest chairsJames glanced over to where Lily had been before their detention and noticed she was still there, finished with her essay and scribbling her diary another poem.
'Cloaked heavily in darkness, eyes avoid the blinding light. It was painful, the light burned his irises. He lived for the darkness, he was consumed by the darkness. It was his life, his whole, it was him. He was a no one. Isolated by his shadows, his solitude brought comfort. But his eyes gave him away that night. His eyes--pools of cold gray that blocked any from permeating his soul. But they softened that night and they could let you drown. They were oceans but calm blue waves were not produced, only rough gray. My eyes fixated with a soul, his soul. Hard to believe he had one. But it was there, revealing his emotions to their depth. Pain. Anguish. Sorrow. Forgiveness. Mercy. Worry. Love. Passion. Hunger. It was all there inside of him, but he couldn't see it all of it The darkness blinded him, made him see only the corrupt and never the innocence. His purity was lost in the shadows, somewhere left never to be found. His malevolence was found in the light, somewhere left never to be lost. And somewhere in the middle, he lost himself. Caught between sin and redemption, his life was torn before his eyes. His eyes, lacking the usual fight, were weary and tired. They too were consumed by the growing darkness and he was losing faith in the light. The light that blinded him, the light that hurt his eyes, distorting his vision to see the good in life. He hated the light, the darkness was his life. He was darkness. And his gray eyes, they bore into me and I could feel them searching me, searching my soul, looking for something worth living for. He gave up looking and he gave up living. He let the darkness destroy every part of him. Cloaked in darkness, a soul gave in to the light. Torn between light and shadows--he died that night, the night his emotions betrayed him. They are our life and death, he chose death.'
Lily sighed and put her quill down, marking her place in the diary before shutting it. She looked up from her position on the floor in the shadows of the Gryffindor common room and noticed it was less occupied than before. It seemed only a few six years and three of the four Marauders were still up and lounging before the fire. Her eyes rested on James. He was laying down on one of the couches with his eyes staring at the ceiling. His face was creased with worry and anxiety. Lily's mind began to wander and she began to think about why she really didn't want to be friends with James. It wasn't just because she wasn't used to the attention or the fact he read her diary. Of course it angered her and she lost her trust in him, but the true reason she didn't want to be friends with James was because--Slam! Sirius had slammed down his Potions book and pulled Lily deep from her thoughts.
"I don't understand any of this!" Lily heard Sirius grumbled. She assumed he was probably attempting to study for the quiz they had on Monday.
"Just study it this weekend," Peter said, looking up from his own Potions book. Sirius agreed and pulled himself up into a ball on the couch, resting his head on his knees, he glanced casually over at James.
"What're you thinking about?" he asked casually. James sat up and looked over to see if Lily was still there, she was.
"Nothing," he said quickly, too quickly for Sirius' liking but before he could question further, James got up and said something about having to get to bed.
"What was that about?" Sirius asked aloud, more to himself than to anyone. Peter shrugged, he could care less at the moment, he was too busy with his homework. Lily wondered too but she wasn't planning on finding out.
"Jamesy, are you paying attention?" Rhenna asked.
"Yeah…sure thing Rhenna," James said, staring blankly at the empty plate in front of him.
"Hey mate, you going to eat anything?" Sirius asked while he was still piling some food onto his own plate. James groaned again and laid his head down on the table.
"You alright, James?" Remus asked worriedly.
"Tired," came his muffled response. Remus dropped his voice to a whisper so only James could hear and asked him how things went with Lily.
"Didn't. She wasn't in her dorm. Cleo told me they hadn't seen her all morning."
"Don't worry about it, you'll see her in Herbology. We have it first thing anyways," Remus said, trying to console James. He nodded in response and closed his eyes sleepily.
"What's wrong with James?" Sirius questioned. James sat up again, yawned and rubbed his eyes, knocking his glasses askew in the process. He looked around the Great Hall in a daze before putting his glasses back on.
"C'mon guys, let's head to Herbology. Lily'll probably be there," Remus said quickly. Peter's face dropped into a frown but quickly hid it when James glanced at him. Walking to Herbology the conversation was on everything but Lily. Rick Tuner appeared in front of them suddenly and reminded James and Sirius of Quidditch practice that evening. James' tired face soon lit up at the sound of Quidditch and Sirius grinned widely.
"You going to come to practice?" he asked Peter, he already knew that Remus couldn't because of his lycanthropy.
"Wouldn't miss it for the world!" Peter squeaked. The excitement of Quidditch soon faded when the Marauders realized that Lily was not in Greenhouse Three with some of the early rising Gryffindors. Soon the rest of Gryffindor and Hufflepuff straggled into the class and Lily still wasn't in sight.
Late at night, Lily had returned to her corner in the Astronomy Tower, bringing her diary with her this time. She was constantly writing and didn't notice the light of the dawn. There were dark circles under her tired eyes but she couldn't stop writing. The only thing on her mind was Chris and she knew she couldn't cry. She felt hatred towards the Marauders, for bringing the memories back. She had tried to hide them deep within her mind, thinking of school and other things to keep her thoughts of his death. But now, with the appearance of the Marauders, she had to relive the dreadful memories and every night she wanted to cry herself to sleep. She had to be strong for him, though, she refused to break under the misery. The fact that Petunia still refused to talk to her and the hatred of half the girls in the school did not make the situation any better.
Lily gasped when she looked up from her diary. The sun was now shining brightly in the Tower and Lily realized she was probably late for her first class, Herbology. Running down from the Tower and rushing out of the castle, Lily made her way quickly to the greenhouse that her class occupied. She walked in and was met with a disapproving glare from Professor Humus. Lily apologized and sat down in the only vacant seat which happened to be next to James. She reviewed her surroundings and saw Remus sitting with Peter and Sirius with Ash Lynn. She seemed quite surprised to see that the seat next to James was empty considering all the girls wanted to sit next to him.
"I saved the seat, just for you," James whispered as the Professor continued with her lesson. Lily blushed but didn't return a comment. She had to remember that she wanted nothing to do with them.
"Where were you?" James seemed persistent on talking to her but Lily ignored him. "Lily, c'mon, talk to me…I'm really sorry about last night. I just--"
"Mr. Potter if you would please, I am trying to teach a lesson! Miss. Evans I would expect more courtesy from you. Detention for both of you!" Professor Humble exclaimed, frustrated from being interrupted. Lily glared at James for getting her in trouble and James buried his head in his hands. He just ruined his chances again.
When the class was over, Lily made her way up to the castle and ignored all pleas from James to listen to him.
"Lily, I'm sorry. Please forgive me!" he pleaded. This continued until they reached the Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom. Lily sat in the front seat, while Remus pulled James into the back of the classroom.
"James, you got a detention tonight already with Professor McGonagall! What are you going to do?"
"I don't know. I'll talk to Professor Humus."
Defense Against the Dark Arts went without incident, as did the remainder of the day. During break, James had talked to Professor Humus and she changed Lily and James detention to Monday night, the same night Remus had detention with McGonagall. At dinner, James was unusually subdued and kept sneaking glances at Lily. She sat writing in her diary, not even bothering to eat.
"I haven't seen her eat anything in days," James commented idly.
"Just leave her alone for a while James. Let her cool off, she'll loosen up in a bit, don't worry," Remus said reassuringly. James continued with his meal and when he finished, Sirius and Peter dragged him towards the common room while Remus made his way to Madame Pomphrey.
It was exceptionally loud at this time of night and a lot of the older students reprimanded the younger ones for disturbing the quiet. It was still near the beginning of the term and the teachers left no time to pile on the homework. The Marauders pulled out the only homework they had; a transfiguration essay for McGonagall and worked on it until it was time for Quidditch practice. James and Sirius grabbed their brooms and headed towards the Quidditch Pitch with Peter following behind them. Practice went smoothly and it seemed James and Sirius had not lost any skills over the summer holiday.
"Great practice, guys!" Rick called out after practice had finished, "I'll see you guys Sunday night for another practice!" The Marauders walked back into the castle together and to the Gryffindor common room. James and Sirius put their brooms away and joined Peter, finishing up their transfiguration essay. In no time at all, it was quarter of eight and it was time for their detention. James stood up and stretched, noticing Lily sitting alone in a corner, working on the same essay. James began walking towards her, but was pulled towards the portrait hole by Sirius. Professor McGonagall had them go to the Mr. Lyon, the caretaker for their punishment. He had the Marauders scrubbing every trophy in the trophy room until he could see his own reflection in them.
Walking back to the common room two hours later, tired and sore, the Marauders complained loudly about the treatment they had received.
"My hands are wrinkled from that water! Why couldn't we have used magic?" Sirius grumbled. James grinned and reminded him that it was their punishment for the prank they pulled. "Ah, yes that was a great prank," he said smiling fondly at the memory.
"Mimblewimble," James mumbled to the portrait of the Fat Lady, she welcomed them back and the boys collapsed in the closest chairsJames glanced over to where Lily had been before their detention and noticed she was still there, finished with her essay and scribbling her diary another poem.
'Cloaked heavily in darkness, eyes avoid the blinding light. It was painful, the light burned his irises. He lived for the darkness, he was consumed by the darkness. It was his life, his whole, it was him. He was a no one. Isolated by his shadows, his solitude brought comfort. But his eyes gave him away that night. His eyes--pools of cold gray that blocked any from permeating his soul. But they softened that night and they could let you drown. They were oceans but calm blue waves were not produced, only rough gray. My eyes fixated with a soul, his soul. Hard to believe he had one. But it was there, revealing his emotions to their depth. Pain. Anguish. Sorrow. Forgiveness. Mercy. Worry. Love. Passion. Hunger. It was all there inside of him, but he couldn't see it all of it The darkness blinded him, made him see only the corrupt and never the innocence. His purity was lost in the shadows, somewhere left never to be found. His malevolence was found in the light, somewhere left never to be lost. And somewhere in the middle, he lost himself. Caught between sin and redemption, his life was torn before his eyes. His eyes, lacking the usual fight, were weary and tired. They too were consumed by the growing darkness and he was losing faith in the light. The light that blinded him, the light that hurt his eyes, distorting his vision to see the good in life. He hated the light, the darkness was his life. He was darkness. And his gray eyes, they bore into me and I could feel them searching me, searching my soul, looking for something worth living for. He gave up looking and he gave up living. He let the darkness destroy every part of him. Cloaked in darkness, a soul gave in to the light. Torn between light and shadows--he died that night, the night his emotions betrayed him. They are our life and death, he chose death.'
Lily sighed and put her quill down, marking her place in the diary before shutting it. She looked up from her position on the floor in the shadows of the Gryffindor common room and noticed it was less occupied than before. It seemed only a few six years and three of the four Marauders were still up and lounging before the fire. Her eyes rested on James. He was laying down on one of the couches with his eyes staring at the ceiling. His face was creased with worry and anxiety. Lily's mind began to wander and she began to think about why she really didn't want to be friends with James. It wasn't just because she wasn't used to the attention or the fact he read her diary. Of course it angered her and she lost her trust in him, but the true reason she didn't want to be friends with James was because--Slam! Sirius had slammed down his Potions book and pulled Lily deep from her thoughts.
"I don't understand any of this!" Lily heard Sirius grumbled. She assumed he was probably attempting to study for the quiz they had on Monday.
"Just study it this weekend," Peter said, looking up from his own Potions book. Sirius agreed and pulled himself up into a ball on the couch, resting his head on his knees, he glanced casually over at James.
"What're you thinking about?" he asked casually. James sat up and looked over to see if Lily was still there, she was.
"Nothing," he said quickly, too quickly for Sirius' liking but before he could question further, James got up and said something about having to get to bed.
"What was that about?" Sirius asked aloud, more to himself than to anyone. Peter shrugged, he could care less at the moment, he was too busy with his homework. Lily wondered too but she wasn't planning on finding out.