Disclaimer: Do not own anything McLeod's Daughters belongs to channel 9, and the writers and creators apart from Abby, Lily and Charlie.
'You okay?' Nick asked quickly glancing over at Abby.
'Yeah, fine.' Abby lied.
'You gonna be okay taking on Alex's workload today? Nick asked looking forward at the road ahead of them.
'I may only be little Nick but I can more then handle more of my fair share of work.' Abby replied in a dry sarcastic tone.
'Sorry, I didn't mean to offended you.'
Abby looked over at Nick for the first time since they left Drovers. 'I know, I'm sorry. I've, I've just got a lot on my mind at the moment.' Abby told him.
'Anything you want to talk about?' Nick asked.
Abby smiled slightly at Nick's not so subtle attempt to find out more about the past few years. 'No it's ok.'
'You know what they say?
'What?'
'A problem shared is….'
'A problem halved.' Abby finished for him.
Nick smiled. He wasn't about to push Abby into saying anything she didn't want to. That didn't mean he wasn't curious, Nick also knew that Alex might and a few other might not be so willing to wait for Abby to open up in her own time.
Nick pulled into the driveway at Killarney. 'Let's get to work then.'
Abby and Nick got out of the Ute and headed off to find Harry.
Back at Drovers everyone was excited to have Charlotte back for her first visit but the excitement was tinged with a hint of curiosity over Abby.
Tess sat down next to Alex who watching Charlotte with her toys on the floor. They sat in silence for a long while Tess was staring intently into the cup of tea that she held.
'Claire never mentioned anything about meeting Abby in the city.' Alex told Tess, knowing that this is what Tess wanted to ask.
'Never.'
'No. She been talking about a lot about Abby, before she died, more then usual I mean. Talking about how it would be nice if Abby came home and how she'd love you to meet her and how you two would get along, probably drive her mad.' Alex said with a little laugh.
'You didn't think that it was unusual?' Tess asked.
'No.' Alex shook his head. 'I just thought with everything that was going on with you, your cancer scare, she was just missing Abby more. She just… I don't know.'
'I just don't know why Claire never said anything. And why did Abby keep this secret, why didn't she mention anything?' Tess enquired.
I don't' know. I'm worried, I wonder what else she's keeping from us.' Alex said, looking over at Tess.
What's that supposed to mean?' Tess asked.
'It's just, Abby she's pretty good at keep things to herself, especially her emotions. I suppose she's like Claire in that respect. If she doesn't want you to know something, you won't, she usually pretty good at hiding it. She'll just keep it all to herself until she can hide it no more.'
Tess looked at Alex slightly confused.
Alex sighed and said only one word. 'Lily.'
Alex stopped before going on. 'You watched your mother die Tess and that was hard for you right?
Tess paused for a moment thinking about what Alex had just said. 'Hard doesn't begin to describe it.' She replied her voice filled with sadness over the thoughts of her mother and her suffering.
'But you remember her, before she was sick I mean.'
'Yeah of course.'
'Abby, she never really had the chance.'
'I thought she had some memories of her mother.'
'She does.' Alex replied sadly. 'But there not the kind of things that you want a daughter to remember about a mother.'
Alex paused for a few moments.
'You have to understand Tess that by the time Abby old enough to remember her mother Lily, Lily well she was dying.'
Tess looked at Alex Trying to comprehend what Alex was saying.
' Lily became sick again by time the time Abby turned two and Abby, she watched her mother die a slow and somewhat painful death.'
'Claire said it was cancer, she never went into any other details other then that.' Tess said sadly . She didn't want to push Alex any further on a subject that was clearly difficult for him. Although at the same time Tess wanted to know what had happened to her beloved aunt.
'Pancreatic cancer' Alex told her. ' She beat once and then it returned, only this time it was worse.'
'Because she died?' Tess stated.
'Not because of that. Pancreatic cancer it's ah, it's difficult to diagnose, she was lucky that they managed to find it the first time. When she was diagnosed a second time it had spread to her lungs and her liver. I think they call it metastatic cancer.'
'I didn't realise.' Tess said softly, Alex barley heard her.
'She wasn't the Lily that you remember Tess. She was in so much pain at the end, she just slowly faded away. She couldn't get out bed most days and she was violently sick, always tired.'
Tears were now welling in both Alex's and Tess eyes, Alex because of his memories of those times, watching someone that he loved and adored die and for Tess it was for her aunt. Lily had been Tess favourite person as a child, apart for Claire of course. She was warm, loving and vibrant and mystical, she was all Tess wanted to be. Lily always went out of her way to help people and rarely said a bad word about anyone. Tess couldn't imagine someone like her aunt going through some as terrible as Alex was describing.
'You know that the majority of Abby's memories, the main thing that she remembers about her mum, it's that she was always tired, always sick. I used to think that Abby handled everything great you know. She was really well adjusted, that she'd dealt with her mother death pretty well. But she hadn't she was just exceptionally good at hiding her grief, like Claire.'
'How'd you know.' Tess asked as she wiped the fallen tears off her face.
'One day she just broke down. It was about a week or so after Jack died.. She uh she was by her mother and Jack's grave, I had been looking for her and Nick suggested I look there. Anyway she was just in this huddle on the ground, crying. I approached her, tried to comfort her, but she got all defensive and then I guess you could say, she just exploded.' There was a slight pause in conversation.
'All those emotions that she'd been hiding for all those years, all that anger and upset just spilled out. I thought that she was this happy well adjusted kid, but she wasn't she was this frightened, upset and frustrated little girl who didn't understand why everyone she loved left her.'
Tears fell rapidly down Tess's cheeks as Alex recounted what Abby had told him that day, how she felt, how angry and upset she was.
After Alex was finished the two sat in silence for a few . Tess was unsure of what to say, how to respond to what Alex had just told her. Her heart was broken again for the second time that year.
Finally Alex spoke up. ' Lily Theresa McLeod the first woman I ever loved, apart from my mother.'
He sighed, Tess could tell he was contemplating something.
' You know that's two McLeod women I've loved and lost in my lifetime. That's two to many.' Alex told Tess his laced with sadness and a hint of anger. Tess reached out and placed her hand on Alex's.
The two sat in silence as they watched Charlotte play happily with her toys
'You okay?' Nick asked quickly glancing over at Abby.
'Yeah, fine.' Abby lied.
'You gonna be okay taking on Alex's workload today? Nick asked looking forward at the road ahead of them.
'I may only be little Nick but I can more then handle more of my fair share of work.' Abby replied in a dry sarcastic tone.
'Sorry, I didn't mean to offended you.'
Abby looked over at Nick for the first time since they left Drovers. 'I know, I'm sorry. I've, I've just got a lot on my mind at the moment.' Abby told him.
'Anything you want to talk about?' Nick asked.
Abby smiled slightly at Nick's not so subtle attempt to find out more about the past few years. 'No it's ok.'
'You know what they say?
'What?'
'A problem shared is….'
'A problem halved.' Abby finished for him.
Nick smiled. He wasn't about to push Abby into saying anything she didn't want to. That didn't mean he wasn't curious, Nick also knew that Alex might and a few other might not be so willing to wait for Abby to open up in her own time.
Nick pulled into the driveway at Killarney. 'Let's get to work then.'
Abby and Nick got out of the Ute and headed off to find Harry.
Back at Drovers everyone was excited to have Charlotte back for her first visit but the excitement was tinged with a hint of curiosity over Abby.
Tess sat down next to Alex who watching Charlotte with her toys on the floor. They sat in silence for a long while Tess was staring intently into the cup of tea that she held.
'Claire never mentioned anything about meeting Abby in the city.' Alex told Tess, knowing that this is what Tess wanted to ask.
'Never.'
'No. She been talking about a lot about Abby, before she died, more then usual I mean. Talking about how it would be nice if Abby came home and how she'd love you to meet her and how you two would get along, probably drive her mad.' Alex said with a little laugh.
'You didn't think that it was unusual?' Tess asked.
'No.' Alex shook his head. 'I just thought with everything that was going on with you, your cancer scare, she was just missing Abby more. She just… I don't know.'
'I just don't know why Claire never said anything. And why did Abby keep this secret, why didn't she mention anything?' Tess enquired.
I don't' know. I'm worried, I wonder what else she's keeping from us.' Alex said, looking over at Tess.
What's that supposed to mean?' Tess asked.
'It's just, Abby she's pretty good at keep things to herself, especially her emotions. I suppose she's like Claire in that respect. If she doesn't want you to know something, you won't, she usually pretty good at hiding it. She'll just keep it all to herself until she can hide it no more.'
Tess looked at Alex slightly confused.
Alex sighed and said only one word. 'Lily.'
Alex stopped before going on. 'You watched your mother die Tess and that was hard for you right?
Tess paused for a moment thinking about what Alex had just said. 'Hard doesn't begin to describe it.' She replied her voice filled with sadness over the thoughts of her mother and her suffering.
'But you remember her, before she was sick I mean.'
'Yeah of course.'
'Abby, she never really had the chance.'
'I thought she had some memories of her mother.'
'She does.' Alex replied sadly. 'But there not the kind of things that you want a daughter to remember about a mother.'
Alex paused for a few moments.
'You have to understand Tess that by the time Abby old enough to remember her mother Lily, Lily well she was dying.'
Tess looked at Alex Trying to comprehend what Alex was saying.
' Lily became sick again by time the time Abby turned two and Abby, she watched her mother die a slow and somewhat painful death.'
'Claire said it was cancer, she never went into any other details other then that.' Tess said sadly . She didn't want to push Alex any further on a subject that was clearly difficult for him. Although at the same time Tess wanted to know what had happened to her beloved aunt.
'Pancreatic cancer' Alex told her. ' She beat once and then it returned, only this time it was worse.'
'Because she died?' Tess stated.
'Not because of that. Pancreatic cancer it's ah, it's difficult to diagnose, she was lucky that they managed to find it the first time. When she was diagnosed a second time it had spread to her lungs and her liver. I think they call it metastatic cancer.'
'I didn't realise.' Tess said softly, Alex barley heard her.
'She wasn't the Lily that you remember Tess. She was in so much pain at the end, she just slowly faded away. She couldn't get out bed most days and she was violently sick, always tired.'
Tears were now welling in both Alex's and Tess eyes, Alex because of his memories of those times, watching someone that he loved and adored die and for Tess it was for her aunt. Lily had been Tess favourite person as a child, apart for Claire of course. She was warm, loving and vibrant and mystical, she was all Tess wanted to be. Lily always went out of her way to help people and rarely said a bad word about anyone. Tess couldn't imagine someone like her aunt going through some as terrible as Alex was describing.
'You know that the majority of Abby's memories, the main thing that she remembers about her mum, it's that she was always tired, always sick. I used to think that Abby handled everything great you know. She was really well adjusted, that she'd dealt with her mother death pretty well. But she hadn't she was just exceptionally good at hiding her grief, like Claire.'
'How'd you know.' Tess asked as she wiped the fallen tears off her face.
'One day she just broke down. It was about a week or so after Jack died.. She uh she was by her mother and Jack's grave, I had been looking for her and Nick suggested I look there. Anyway she was just in this huddle on the ground, crying. I approached her, tried to comfort her, but she got all defensive and then I guess you could say, she just exploded.' There was a slight pause in conversation.
'All those emotions that she'd been hiding for all those years, all that anger and upset just spilled out. I thought that she was this happy well adjusted kid, but she wasn't she was this frightened, upset and frustrated little girl who didn't understand why everyone she loved left her.'
Tears fell rapidly down Tess's cheeks as Alex recounted what Abby had told him that day, how she felt, how angry and upset she was.
After Alex was finished the two sat in silence for a few . Tess was unsure of what to say, how to respond to what Alex had just told her. Her heart was broken again for the second time that year.
Finally Alex spoke up. ' Lily Theresa McLeod the first woman I ever loved, apart from my mother.'
He sighed, Tess could tell he was contemplating something.
' You know that's two McLeod women I've loved and lost in my lifetime. That's two to many.' Alex told Tess his laced with sadness and a hint of anger. Tess reached out and placed her hand on Alex's.
The two sat in silence as they watched Charlotte play happily with her toys