A/N: Ok here's where the characters from The Princess Bride get dropped in the middle of the Enchanted Forest. As readers of these books can tell us, Queen Cimorene isn't very fond of princesses, especially ones as stupid as Buttercup.
The king and queen of the Enchanted Forest were at that moment in time gardening in their backyard. Suddenly there was a whoosh and a rain of sparkles and four riders appeared. Queen Cimorene brushed glitter off her tunic and said without getting up, "If you are princes or knights, leave us alone. If you are wizards, I have a bucket of soapy water with your name on it."
"Soapy water sounds heavenly right now!" A feminine voice exclaimed. "I haven't had a bath since I broke up with Prince Humperdinck!"
Queen Cimorene and King Mendanbar looked up. Cimorene wrinkled her nose. "Ew. A princess." She was staring at an incredibly beautiful girl with blonde hair and empty blue eyes.
"Yes, well...sort of. I actually became honorary princess of Hammersmith some months ago but since the engagement is broken I rather suspect I'm just a milkmaid again." She looked around curiously. "Oh dear. Fezzik, we are definitely not in Florin anymore."
"What are you doing here?"
"Don't worry, there's nothing to fear." One man said. Mendanbar looked up. And up. And up.
"Good God man, are you a giant?"
The man frowned. "Hey."
"Er, sorry. You just took me by surprise. Who are you people and what are you doing in my forest?"
Buttercup sniffed, but before she could speak a blonde man behind her cut in. "I am Westley, more recently known as the Dread Pirate Roberts, and these are my companions; Inigo Montoya," he indicated a dark-skinned man who appeared to be passed out and bleeding from the gut and shoulders, "Fezzik," the giant, "And my lovely bride-to-be Buttercup." The blonde girl.
Buttercup gave a big gasp of surprise and turned her vacant eyes on Westley. "OH! My darling Westley! You're alive! Thank God! I never could have lived without you!"
Cimorene made gagging noises. Mendanbar interrupted the happy reunion—which involved some scandalous kissing—with a; "Yes, but what are you doing here?"
"Well," said Westley, pulling his tongue out of Buttercup's throat, "before I passed out myself we were escaping from Buttercup's jilted fiancé Prince Humperdinck and riding along the ravine. I thought we were headed toward the Fire Swamp, but I must have been mistaken. I don't see any R.O.U.S.'s."
"Any whats?" Mendanbar asked, confused.
"Well, sweetums," The princess—er, milkmaid—broke in, "while you were out, so to speak, Fezzik here revealed he had a powder from Miracle Max that would take us to a safe place."
"Here?"
"Well, it is pretty quiet."
The king and queen were royally lost.
Cimorene snorted. "The Enchanted Forest? Safe? What plant are you smoking?"
Mendanbar nodded in agreement. "You're just lucky you landed in front of us. We're the only two people in the forest than can manage its tricky magic."
Just then a large, blue, winged donkey passed by them, floating six inches above the ground. The six stared for a moment, then returned to the conversation.
"I'm sorry to impose, but do you suppose we could stay for a while?" Westley asked, giving his most charming smile. Cimorene batted her eyelashes at him while pretending to think. Mendanbar glared at his wife, then at the handsome pirate.
"I don't know about that," he growled, wishing he was wearing his good circlet, the one that made him look kingly and imposing.
Cimorene gasped. "Mendanbar! We can't turn away guests." She smiled at Westley.
Buttercup let out a sound that was nearly a growl too. "I'm not sure either."
Fezzik took a look at his unconscious friend. "Er. Please?" He was so hassled he forgot to rhyme. Inigo's wounds were serious.
A/N: Okay I'm officially stuck. Anyone with plot ideas gets virtual brownie points. Also, I'm offering a thousand virtual brownie points to whoever can give me the name of the blue donkey, one of my favorite Enchanted Forest inhabitants.
By the way, VBPs are good for buying.......air. Virtual air.