The TRUE Meaning of Life
By Mary Sue of Maryville and TypoNumber5
A/N: Hi, I'm Mary Sue. I wrote this with TypoNumber5... because TN5 is an idiot and I can get her to do these things without wasting energy. I hope you like it. (You better!! I'm a Mary Sue for crying out loud!!!!!)
TN5: Um, Sue? Author(ess)s _hate_ Mary Sues.
Mary Sue: ..............Have I ever told you how much I hate you?
DISCLAIMER: The only thing in this fanfic I own is myself. Mizu the Magical Foot Fairy is a character from TN5's report on the lifestyles of knights last year. (My god... how did she get an A on that??)
Chapter 1 – Never Ask Directions from a Fairy
~ It was a quiet day in Japan. What part of Japan I cannot tell you; the people this story centers around weren't exactly paying attention. But let it be known that it was Japan, and that it was a quiet, normal day.
~ At least, we would like to THINK it was.
~ Mary Sue was going to visit China with her mother. This plan was slightly messed up when their transfer flight from Japan was cancelled. Now they were staying in hotel, and Mary Sue's mom was trying to figure out if any of the employees spoke Chinese or at least English. As the woman attempted to converse with a maid, Mary Sue sat boredly in chair, examining her fingernails. ~
Mary Sue: *yawns* Stupid jet lag...
~When who should come around the corner, but... ~
TypoNumber5: Oohayo, Kakinouchi-san!
Maid: *looks up from half-conversation with Mary Sue's mom* Oohayo, TN5- san.
Mary Sue: o________________________O TN5?!!!!!!!!!!
TN5: Hey, Sue! Long time no see.
Mary Sue: What are you doing in Japan...?
TN5: ^_^ Vacationing! Look, Japanese Shonen Jump. *holds up magazine* I have no idea what they're saying, but it has Yu-Gi-Oh! it does... *nods*
Mary Sue: o_O *scoots away*
TN5: And I found Inu-Yasha graphic novels at some store—
Mary Sue: INU-YASHA?!!! *leaps up* WHERE?!!!!
TN5: O_O Um... in this store a couple blocks away...
Mary Sue: TAKE ME TO IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
TN5: O... kay...
~ Three hours later... ~
Mary Sue: How did we end up at the airport?! HOW??????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
TN5: I don't know... Want to go ride on the spiny luggage things?
Mary Sue: This is neither the time nor place—
TN5: OK!!! *runs into airport*
MS: Why am I friends with her? Why? *follows*
~ Inside the airport, after dragging TN5 away from the "spinnny luggage thing"... ~
TN5: Let's go open people's bags.
Mary Sue: Why?
TN5: For fun. *kicks open random bag*
Mary Sue: -_________- *carefully opens bag*
TN5: Hey, I found illegal drugs in my bag! What did you find?
Mary Sue: Um, TheVoices...
TN5: What? *comes over* Hey... that looks just like that girl at our school!
Mary Sue: -_____- You mean TheVoices?
TN5: Yeah. Her.
Mary Sue: *slaps forehead*
TheVoices: x________X
Mary Sue: Do you think we should wake her up?
TN5: Uh, yeah. Hold on a sec. *runs over to vending machine* *runs back with coffee*
Mary Sue: What are you—
TN5: *dumps half the coffee over TheVoices's head*
Coffee: *is hot*
TheVoices: *snaps awake* OOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
TN5: ^_^;; *gives rest of coffee to TheVoices*
TheVoices: cof... fee...*drinks it* *is better* Hey... where am I?
Mary Sue: A Japanese airport. How did you get in that bag?
TheVoices: Um...
**FLASH BACK**
TheVoices: *making Ramen* ^___^
Kolte (TheVoices's older brother): DIIIIIIIEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *running tackles*
TheVoices: *knocked over* OW!
Kolte: *kills TheVoices* MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
TheVoices: x_____________X *dies*
Kolte: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA-- *notices his sister is dead* Crap. *hides body in random suitcase*
TheVoices's Stepfather: *takes suitcase on a trip to Japan*
**END FLASH BACK**
Mary Sue: Wait... he killed you?
TheVoices: I got better!
~ A brief moment of silence ~
TN5: ...I have Weekly Shonen Jump!!
TheVoices: Dude, cool!!!
Mary Sue: *sigh* Can we please get back to finding Inu-Yasha manga?
TN5: Whatever. *reading – er – looking at the pictures of Shonen Jump*
~ An hour later, somewhere in the middle of Japan... ~
Mary Sue: WHERE ARE WE?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
TN5: Um...
Mary Sue: YOU HAVE THE WORST SENSE OF DIRRECTION I HAVE EVER SEEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
TheVoices: I don't think you can SEE a sense of direction—
Mary Sue: SILENCE, FOOLISH MORTAL!!!!!!!!!!
TheVoices: o__O
TN5: Why don't we just figure out where we are?
Mary Sue: AND HOW DO YOU PROPOSE WE DID THAT, HUH?!!!!!!! NONE OF US CAN READ JAPANESE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
TheVoices: We could ask someone.
Mary Sue: NONE OF US CAN SPEAK JAPANESE EITHER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
TheVoices: I could cuss someone out—
Mary Sue: THAT WOULDN'T HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!
TN5: Hey... I know what that sign says! *points*
Mary Sue: *dangerously* TN5... have you secretly learned Japanese and not told me or something? Please tell me you have.
TN5: No, I learned it from the American Shonen Jump. It says "exit"!
Mary Sue: *twitch* *twitch* We now know what the exit of some random store is. That's just great.
TN5: ...was that sarcasm?
Mary Sue: Naw, ya think?
TheVoices: I need more coffee.
TN5: I'm out of money.
TheVoices: Mary Sue?
Mary Sue: Psh. Who needs money when you can make TN5 steal things for you?
TN5: ...Hey...
TheVoices: But... but I NEED coffee!!!!! I _NEED_ COFFEE!!!!!!!! *shakes Mary Sue* COOOOOOOOFFFFFFEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Mary Sue: @__@
TheVoices: *runs around in circles* COOOOOFFFFFEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Other People on Streets: o_________O *back away*
TN5: *pulls out Shonen Jump again* I really have no idea what's going on in this... I wonder if I can watch YGO in Japanese tomorrow...
TheVoices: COOOOOOOOOOFFFFFFFFFFEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Mary Sue: *looks toward sky* Why me, God? Why me?
TheVoices: *still running* COOOOOFFFFFFFFFEEEEEEEEEE-- *smacks into a random woman* Ow...
Random Woman: Watch where you're going!!
TheVoices: Kisama baka kuso atama no bakayaro!
Random Woman: o___O;;
~ Silence. ~
Mary Sue: Hey, wait a minute. You speak English!
Random Woman: Whoop de doo. A lot of people do.
Mary Sue: But you're completely accent free!
Random Woman: ...uh-huh. What's your point?
TN5: Can you tell us something?
TheVoices: ...COFFEE!!!!
Random Woman: Sure. Whatever.
TN5: What does this say? *points to speech bubble in Shonen Jump*
Mary Sue: *slaps forehead* No! Ask her if she'll help us get home.
TheVoices: But that's all the way in America—
Mary Sue: I meant the hotel.
TheVoices: Oh. Okay then.
Random Woman: I'll help you... but you must do something for me first.
Mary Sue: Sure. Whatever. JUST HELP ME!
Random Woman: You must tell me... THE MEANING OF LIFE!!
TheVoices: ...The meaning on life?
Random Woman: YES!
Mary Sue: Uuuuuuuhhhh...
TN5: Feh. That's easy. The meaning of life is pursuing your anime obsessions.
Random Woman: Are sure?
Mary Sue: N—
TheVoices: YEAH! That's a good way of putting it, TN5.
Random Woman: So you think the meaning of life is to pursue anime obsessions?
Mary Sue: No! No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no—
TheVoices & TN5: *nod vigorously*
Random Woman: *ignoring Mary Sue* Very well then. You seem to be confused about what life is about. For this, I must help you.
Mary Sue, TN5, & TheVoices: ??
Random Woman: *pulls out a... sparkling wand*
Mary Sue, TN5, and TheVoices: O___O
Random Woman: *waves wand around*
~ In a flash, the city around the three girls blurs and disappears into darkness. In a brief moment, they stand in pitch-blackness. Then, the darkness fades and the girls find that they are a bit... different. ~
TheVoices: Oh my god!!! I'M AN ANIME CHARACTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
TN5: My hair!!! For once it looks NORMAL!!! *does happy dance* I bet I can wear it now without it getting in my eyes, too...
Mary Sue: BUT I WANTED TO GO HOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Random Woman: We are now in Domino City; we're in the Yu-Gi-Oh! Dimension.
TheVoices: w00t!!
Mary Sue: My home... my bed... my HAIR BRUSH. *sniffs*
Random Woman: You will be staying here and attending Domino High as transfer students until you can tell me the meaning of life. If anyone asks, you're all fifteen.
TheVoices: ...Uh-huh.
Random Woman: This is an unlimited gift certificate to Target. I have also made reservations in this hotel for a month. *tosses Mary Sue gift certificate and card with hotel's address* You should know the meaning of life by then, ne?
Mary Sue: *examining card* That remains me... we can't speak Japanese; how do you expect us to survive high school?
Random Woman: Oh, right, THAT. *waves wand around* You can now speak Japanese.
TN5: *in Japanese* REALLY?!!! *GASP* I just spoke Japanese!
~ For the sake of the fic, from now one all dialogue is in Japanese. Any English will be marked by { and } ~
TN5: *doing happy dance (...again...)* I'm in my favorite anime! I can speak and read Japanese fluently! I actually make a somewhat good-looking anime character!! I am going to love this...
Mary Sue: I am going to hate this...
TheVoices: I need coffee.
Random Woman: No need to thank me, kiddies! If you need me, just call for Mizu the Magical Foot Fairy!! *disappears*
TheVoices: ...Did she just call us "kiddies"?
TN5: ...Mizu the Magical Foot Fairy?
Mary Sue: *to TN5* Why did you have to say the meaning of life was to pursue anime obsessions? Why?
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- --------------------------------
The YGO characters will be in the next chapter. Promise.
Please review. ^_^
By Mary Sue of Maryville and TypoNumber5
A/N: Hi, I'm Mary Sue. I wrote this with TypoNumber5... because TN5 is an idiot and I can get her to do these things without wasting energy. I hope you like it. (You better!! I'm a Mary Sue for crying out loud!!!!!)
TN5: Um, Sue? Author(ess)s _hate_ Mary Sues.
Mary Sue: ..............Have I ever told you how much I hate you?
DISCLAIMER: The only thing in this fanfic I own is myself. Mizu the Magical Foot Fairy is a character from TN5's report on the lifestyles of knights last year. (My god... how did she get an A on that??)
Chapter 1 – Never Ask Directions from a Fairy
~ It was a quiet day in Japan. What part of Japan I cannot tell you; the people this story centers around weren't exactly paying attention. But let it be known that it was Japan, and that it was a quiet, normal day.
~ At least, we would like to THINK it was.
~ Mary Sue was going to visit China with her mother. This plan was slightly messed up when their transfer flight from Japan was cancelled. Now they were staying in hotel, and Mary Sue's mom was trying to figure out if any of the employees spoke Chinese or at least English. As the woman attempted to converse with a maid, Mary Sue sat boredly in chair, examining her fingernails. ~
Mary Sue: *yawns* Stupid jet lag...
~When who should come around the corner, but... ~
TypoNumber5: Oohayo, Kakinouchi-san!
Maid: *looks up from half-conversation with Mary Sue's mom* Oohayo, TN5- san.
Mary Sue: o________________________O TN5?!!!!!!!!!!
TN5: Hey, Sue! Long time no see.
Mary Sue: What are you doing in Japan...?
TN5: ^_^ Vacationing! Look, Japanese Shonen Jump. *holds up magazine* I have no idea what they're saying, but it has Yu-Gi-Oh! it does... *nods*
Mary Sue: o_O *scoots away*
TN5: And I found Inu-Yasha graphic novels at some store—
Mary Sue: INU-YASHA?!!! *leaps up* WHERE?!!!!
TN5: O_O Um... in this store a couple blocks away...
Mary Sue: TAKE ME TO IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
TN5: O... kay...
~ Three hours later... ~
Mary Sue: How did we end up at the airport?! HOW??????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
TN5: I don't know... Want to go ride on the spiny luggage things?
Mary Sue: This is neither the time nor place—
TN5: OK!!! *runs into airport*
MS: Why am I friends with her? Why? *follows*
~ Inside the airport, after dragging TN5 away from the "spinnny luggage thing"... ~
TN5: Let's go open people's bags.
Mary Sue: Why?
TN5: For fun. *kicks open random bag*
Mary Sue: -_________- *carefully opens bag*
TN5: Hey, I found illegal drugs in my bag! What did you find?
Mary Sue: Um, TheVoices...
TN5: What? *comes over* Hey... that looks just like that girl at our school!
Mary Sue: -_____- You mean TheVoices?
TN5: Yeah. Her.
Mary Sue: *slaps forehead*
TheVoices: x________X
Mary Sue: Do you think we should wake her up?
TN5: Uh, yeah. Hold on a sec. *runs over to vending machine* *runs back with coffee*
Mary Sue: What are you—
TN5: *dumps half the coffee over TheVoices's head*
Coffee: *is hot*
TheVoices: *snaps awake* OOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
TN5: ^_^;; *gives rest of coffee to TheVoices*
TheVoices: cof... fee...*drinks it* *is better* Hey... where am I?
Mary Sue: A Japanese airport. How did you get in that bag?
TheVoices: Um...
**FLASH BACK**
TheVoices: *making Ramen* ^___^
Kolte (TheVoices's older brother): DIIIIIIIEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *running tackles*
TheVoices: *knocked over* OW!
Kolte: *kills TheVoices* MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
TheVoices: x_____________X *dies*
Kolte: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA-- *notices his sister is dead* Crap. *hides body in random suitcase*
TheVoices's Stepfather: *takes suitcase on a trip to Japan*
**END FLASH BACK**
Mary Sue: Wait... he killed you?
TheVoices: I got better!
~ A brief moment of silence ~
TN5: ...I have Weekly Shonen Jump!!
TheVoices: Dude, cool!!!
Mary Sue: *sigh* Can we please get back to finding Inu-Yasha manga?
TN5: Whatever. *reading – er – looking at the pictures of Shonen Jump*
~ An hour later, somewhere in the middle of Japan... ~
Mary Sue: WHERE ARE WE?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
TN5: Um...
Mary Sue: YOU HAVE THE WORST SENSE OF DIRRECTION I HAVE EVER SEEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
TheVoices: I don't think you can SEE a sense of direction—
Mary Sue: SILENCE, FOOLISH MORTAL!!!!!!!!!!
TheVoices: o__O
TN5: Why don't we just figure out where we are?
Mary Sue: AND HOW DO YOU PROPOSE WE DID THAT, HUH?!!!!!!! NONE OF US CAN READ JAPANESE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
TheVoices: We could ask someone.
Mary Sue: NONE OF US CAN SPEAK JAPANESE EITHER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
TheVoices: I could cuss someone out—
Mary Sue: THAT WOULDN'T HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!
TN5: Hey... I know what that sign says! *points*
Mary Sue: *dangerously* TN5... have you secretly learned Japanese and not told me or something? Please tell me you have.
TN5: No, I learned it from the American Shonen Jump. It says "exit"!
Mary Sue: *twitch* *twitch* We now know what the exit of some random store is. That's just great.
TN5: ...was that sarcasm?
Mary Sue: Naw, ya think?
TheVoices: I need more coffee.
TN5: I'm out of money.
TheVoices: Mary Sue?
Mary Sue: Psh. Who needs money when you can make TN5 steal things for you?
TN5: ...Hey...
TheVoices: But... but I NEED coffee!!!!! I _NEED_ COFFEE!!!!!!!! *shakes Mary Sue* COOOOOOOOFFFFFFEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Mary Sue: @__@
TheVoices: *runs around in circles* COOOOOFFFFFEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Other People on Streets: o_________O *back away*
TN5: *pulls out Shonen Jump again* I really have no idea what's going on in this... I wonder if I can watch YGO in Japanese tomorrow...
TheVoices: COOOOOOOOOOFFFFFFFFFFEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Mary Sue: *looks toward sky* Why me, God? Why me?
TheVoices: *still running* COOOOOFFFFFFFFFEEEEEEEEEE-- *smacks into a random woman* Ow...
Random Woman: Watch where you're going!!
TheVoices: Kisama baka kuso atama no bakayaro!
Random Woman: o___O;;
~ Silence. ~
Mary Sue: Hey, wait a minute. You speak English!
Random Woman: Whoop de doo. A lot of people do.
Mary Sue: But you're completely accent free!
Random Woman: ...uh-huh. What's your point?
TN5: Can you tell us something?
TheVoices: ...COFFEE!!!!
Random Woman: Sure. Whatever.
TN5: What does this say? *points to speech bubble in Shonen Jump*
Mary Sue: *slaps forehead* No! Ask her if she'll help us get home.
TheVoices: But that's all the way in America—
Mary Sue: I meant the hotel.
TheVoices: Oh. Okay then.
Random Woman: I'll help you... but you must do something for me first.
Mary Sue: Sure. Whatever. JUST HELP ME!
Random Woman: You must tell me... THE MEANING OF LIFE!!
TheVoices: ...The meaning on life?
Random Woman: YES!
Mary Sue: Uuuuuuuhhhh...
TN5: Feh. That's easy. The meaning of life is pursuing your anime obsessions.
Random Woman: Are sure?
Mary Sue: N—
TheVoices: YEAH! That's a good way of putting it, TN5.
Random Woman: So you think the meaning of life is to pursue anime obsessions?
Mary Sue: No! No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no—
TheVoices & TN5: *nod vigorously*
Random Woman: *ignoring Mary Sue* Very well then. You seem to be confused about what life is about. For this, I must help you.
Mary Sue, TN5, & TheVoices: ??
Random Woman: *pulls out a... sparkling wand*
Mary Sue, TN5, and TheVoices: O___O
Random Woman: *waves wand around*
~ In a flash, the city around the three girls blurs and disappears into darkness. In a brief moment, they stand in pitch-blackness. Then, the darkness fades and the girls find that they are a bit... different. ~
TheVoices: Oh my god!!! I'M AN ANIME CHARACTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
TN5: My hair!!! For once it looks NORMAL!!! *does happy dance* I bet I can wear it now without it getting in my eyes, too...
Mary Sue: BUT I WANTED TO GO HOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Random Woman: We are now in Domino City; we're in the Yu-Gi-Oh! Dimension.
TheVoices: w00t!!
Mary Sue: My home... my bed... my HAIR BRUSH. *sniffs*
Random Woman: You will be staying here and attending Domino High as transfer students until you can tell me the meaning of life. If anyone asks, you're all fifteen.
TheVoices: ...Uh-huh.
Random Woman: This is an unlimited gift certificate to Target. I have also made reservations in this hotel for a month. *tosses Mary Sue gift certificate and card with hotel's address* You should know the meaning of life by then, ne?
Mary Sue: *examining card* That remains me... we can't speak Japanese; how do you expect us to survive high school?
Random Woman: Oh, right, THAT. *waves wand around* You can now speak Japanese.
TN5: *in Japanese* REALLY?!!! *GASP* I just spoke Japanese!
~ For the sake of the fic, from now one all dialogue is in Japanese. Any English will be marked by { and } ~
TN5: *doing happy dance (...again...)* I'm in my favorite anime! I can speak and read Japanese fluently! I actually make a somewhat good-looking anime character!! I am going to love this...
Mary Sue: I am going to hate this...
TheVoices: I need coffee.
Random Woman: No need to thank me, kiddies! If you need me, just call for Mizu the Magical Foot Fairy!! *disappears*
TheVoices: ...Did she just call us "kiddies"?
TN5: ...Mizu the Magical Foot Fairy?
Mary Sue: *to TN5* Why did you have to say the meaning of life was to pursue anime obsessions? Why?
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- --------------------------------
The YGO characters will be in the next chapter. Promise.
Please review. ^_^