Kyaa Kyaff here!

Disclaimer: RK doesn't belong to me.

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'…' Kaoru thoughts

*…* Kenshin thoughts

"…" Dialogue

Facing Adversity

Chapter 11: Pushing You Away

Kaoru leaned against the doorframe as she watched Tsubame quietly practicing on the piano. Beside her Yahiko helped whenever she needed. Coming to Tae's place, Kaoru was about to announce herself, when she had spotted the two practicing on the piano. They had yet to notice her. Kaoru figured they were a little too interested in each other to notice her. It made her smile.

Yahiko was an annoying brash brat, but he really was a good guy. The notes drifting from the piano stopped causing Kaoru to come back to the present. Yahiko scratched the back of his head looking nervous.

"Tsubame-chan?"

Kaoru began to grin.

'Tsubame-chan…eh?'

"Yes. Did I do that last note wrong?" Tsubame asked.

"No. No. It's not that," Yahiko let out a uneasy laugh, "I just wanted you to know that…well…I really li…"

"Hey! Yahiko-chan!" Kaoru called out entering the room.

Kaoru silently apologized to Tsubame, but she had to interrupt for the exact look that was on Yahiko's face. It was a mixture of surprise, embarrassment, and a bit of anger. Even more anger when he noted the fake innocent expression she sent him.

Tsubame's face lit up, "Kaoru-san! What are you doing her?"

"Yeah, busu. Thought you came on Sundays."

Kaoru completely ignored Yahiko's insult, "I had some time off, so I thought I'd come for a surprise visit. You aren't busy, are you?"

"No."

"Yes."

"Great. Want to go out to eat? Staying here all the time can't be too fun," Kaoru said, "Though hopefully you won't have to stay much longer. Both cases are being handled successfully."

Tsubame pressed her hands together, "I would love too."

Kaoru made a sour face in Yahiko's direction, "I suppose Yahiko-chan can come too."

"Stop calling me chan!"

"Where's Yutaro?" Kaoru asked.

"Upstairs. He's made a couple of friends here," Yahiko answered glaring at her the whole time.

"Seems you have too," Kaoru replied pointedly looking toward Tsubame.

"I don't have any money to pay," Tsubame said suddenly.

"It's on me," Kaoru replied, "Now hurry and go ask if Yutaro wants to come too. If I'm taking you I at least need the company of the better and more polite half of the family."

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After a nice lunch with the three, she had dropped them back off at Tae's place and made her way home. Tomoe would be starting dinner anytime soon, and Kaoru had picked up a few groceries she had needed while she was out.

"I'm home!" Kaoru announced once she was inside.

Kaoru went and put the bag on the kitchen counter. Stretching her arms, she gave a satisfied sigh before heading toward Tomoe's room. She waited a second before knocking on the door.

"Hey! You both decent?"

"Yes," Tomoe replied sounding exasperated.

Kaoru let herself in to see Tomoe helping Akira with his leg exercises.

"So…any improvement since last week?"

"Yes," Tomoe replied, "He's improving quickly. Even the doctors are astonished."

Akira smiled, "I'm just amazing like that."

"You wish. Oh! Guess what Akira? You'll never believe what I found out about Saitoh-san," Kaoru started.

"I'll go start dinner now."

"Okay nee-san," Kaoru said dropping down onto the bed, where Akira was pulling himself into a sitting position.

"I'll leave you two to your gossip," Tomoe kissed Akira's forehead before leaving the room.

"Gossip…" Kaoru shrugged, "Saitoh-san has a wife. She came into the office, and you should have seen the look on his face. I've never seen him looked so shocked and happy to see someone."

Akira shook his head, "He's a human being too, even if he doesn't act like it sometimes. That is surprising though. After all the years that I've been there, I've never seen or heard of him having a wife. Maybe he recently got married without anyone knowing."

"Maybe…ah well. Just thought you'd like to know."

"So how is everything going with Himura-san?" Akira asked switching topics.

"Fine. He's a great guy. He's sweet, kind, and considerate. He's cute and he makes me feel special and…you better not," Kaoru said seeing him about to let out a big aww.

"Yep, you're in love."

"What?" Kaoru made a face, "I said I like him. I haven't known him long enough to be in love."

"Sometimes you're in love before you know it. It doesn't have to take a long time."

"That's infatuation," Kaoru countered.

"No. I knew you're sister was the one I wanted to be with almost from the first time I saw her."

"I…so maybe I like him a whole lot, okay. Love is just too…" Kaoru trailed off.

"Aww is my little Kaoru-chan scared."

Kaoru punched his arm, hard.

"Itai! Calm down."

Kaoru stood, "I'm going to help Tomoe. Now none of your mushy stuff. You can reach your wheelchair fine, right?"

"Yeah. I'm good."

Kaoru walked out of the room and toward the kitchen. So maybe she was a little scared. Throwing your heart out to someone was scary, because they could tear it in two. She had to admit though that around Kenshin…she was very happy. Kaoru couldn't wait to see him, and when she did she was content just to sit there talking with him. She enjoyed just speaking with him on the phone. Hell, if she really thought about it, she could see herself with him in the future.

So maybe…she might possibly be in love with him, and if she was, was it really such a bad thing. Kenshin was different from all the men she had ever known. Kaoru wouldn't worry about it. There wasn't anything to worry about in the first place.

'Damn Akira for bringing that up!'

Kaoru smiled as she entered the kitchen. Tomorrow she would get to see Kenshin.

"Nee-san. I'm here to help!"

_______________________*Next Day*____________________________________________

Kaoru was going through her clothes and decided on a red tang top with a square-cut neck and a pair of white stretchy jeans that were very comfortable. She had spoken with Kenshin that morning. He had sounded a little distant and had told her he needed to talk with her. Kaoru was a little worried about his tone and asked him if anything was wrong. He just said he was feeling a little tired.

Kaoru went to the mirror to look herself over. She had opted to keep her hair down this time. She chose red, because she had been told many times that the color red suited her quite well. Her favorite was indigo, but she thought this looked good too.

Seeing everything was in order she headed for the living room. She was going to meet Kenshin at the park. It had become their place to meet and often they would spend time there instead of going out somewhere else. Her favorite thing to do was sit on the swing while Kenshin pushed her, and they talked. Kaoru saw her sister sitting on the couch looking at pictures.

"When are those from?" Kaoru asked coming over to the back of the couch and leaning over to get a better look.

"From awhile ago," Tomoe answered finishing looking through them and handing them to Kaoru, "I just got them developed yesterday but didn't have the chance to look."

Kaoru began flipping through the pictures starting to laugh. A disgruntled and displeased Saitoh was obviously trying to avoid the picture with Akira in the background striking a pose. Another picture was of a smiling Okita standing next to a glaring Saitoh. Kaoru remembered he had been extra hard on her during practice that week, because of all the pictures she had taken with him in it. The following picture was of Kaoru jumping onto Akira's back. The fourth picture showed the three of them standing together with Tomoe in the middle.

The other pictures were of other employees and some were from the park. Coming to the end she saw the pictures she had taken of Tomoe and Akira, when they had fallen asleep together before the accident had happened.

"I forgot about these," Kaoru said softly, "You know, I'm going to have to get some film and take some more pictures. Can never have enough pictures."

Tomoe took the pictures back putting them away, "Later I'll go pick up some film then."

"Thanks," Kaoru said taking note of the time, "Gotta go. Don't wait up for me."

"Have fun."

"I will," Kaoru called over her shoulder as she went out the door.

Kaoru made her usual walk to the park feeling happier than ever. Having looked at those pictures she realized she had none of Kenshin except a small one from the picture booth at the mall. She saw a flash of red hair before she caught sight of Kenshin leaning against a tree. She took a few seconds just to sit there and watch him.

'I really am falling for him.'

She couldn't help but note how gorgeous he looked. He was wearing a black button up shirt with black pants. He just looked too good.

"Kenshin!"

He turned at the call of his name and caught Kaoru, as she launched herself into his arms. She cuddled against him loving the feeling of him holding her. She broke away from the hug to give him a kiss before he could react.

"I missed you."

Kenshin smiled at her before taking her by the hand, "I have something I want to tell you."

Again that tone worried her, "Okay."

He led her over to the bench to sit down. He leaned forward his elbows on his knees.

After a few moments he spoke, "Kaoru…I think…"

Kaoru waited for Kenshin to continue feeling dread build up in her at his words. He finally looked up at her.

He smiled, "I think you look very beautiful today."

Kaoru frowned, "That's what you wanted to tell me?"

"Something wrong with telling you how attractive you are?"

"Yeah the whole part of I have to tell you something," Kaoru grabbed a strand of his hair giving it a good tug, "You said it like it was something serious. I was a bit worried, you know."

"Gomen. Didn't mean to worry you."

"Baka," Kaoru said, "Now you owe me. How about we go to your place? We could rent some movies."

"That sounds good," Kenshin replied watching her as if he were trying to memorize her features.

Kaoru stood taking a couple of steps away her back to him, "Did you bring your…"

Kaoru was cut off as Kenshin wrapped both his arms around her, pulling her tight against him. She leaned back, bringing her hands up to touch his arm as he squeezed her even closer.

His breath tickled the side of her neck when he spoke, "You're unlike anyone I've ever met, and from the first time I saw you at that party I knew I had to get to know you."

Kenshin slowly loosened his grip, so Kaoru could turn around to face him, "You're acting weird today, you know that?"

*I can't do it. I just can't do it.*

"I've just had a few bad days is all. And then on top of that I couldn't see you. Made me miss you even more."

"Well, people are staring, so why don't we go get some movies and make up for lost time at your place," Kaoru said stepping from the circle of his arms and taking his hand.

"I don't care if people stare."

"I do."

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Kaoru hit her foot to the ground, jumping up from the couch. Kenshin looked over to Kaoru confused.

"Agh! I can't watch this anymore! It's just too corny! Why can't they come out with good horror movies? Is it really that hard? There's always one decent one out of the fifty crappy ones they make. Just have to find it."

Kenshin smiled enjoying her overreaction in his opinion. She was at his VCR changing the tape for another one. In the dark room he watched her highlighted profile, as the television lit up with a blank screen. He couldn't help but notice how beautiful she was, how with natural grace she walked around the room announcing she needed a snack for the next movie, and the scent of jasmine that still lingered from where she had been resting her head on his shoulder. She did have a habit of getting too into the movie that was cute. One of those people that liked to try and tell the person into the movie not to be stupid. He didn't care as long as he got to hold her a little longer.

He had to break it off. He just had to, but the longer he spent time with her, the longer he yearned to keep her by his side. How could he just throw her aside? The thought sent a pang to his chest.

*I just wish…no use in wishing though. I'll enjoy tonight. Maybe when I take her home later…no…the next day then. I can't do it over the phone. She has a right to hear it directly from me. Ack! This has never been a problem before.*

Most relationships he had been in were really only for one thing or another.

*Most…? That's a joke. All my relations with women have been…*

If the girl happened to be broken up and crying he merely forgot it quite easily. It didn't matter, because he had made it clear from the beginning that they wouldn't be in a real relationship. However he hadn't done that with Kaoru, and he dreaded her reaction all the more because he didn't want to hurt her or give her up. He had to though. The incident from the other day with Misao reinforcing his resolve.

Kaoru came back with two drinks and a bag of chips.

"You have barely any food," she declared sitting beside him before poking his side, "No wonder you're so scrawny."

"I'm not scrawny," Kenshin replied sounding a little indignant.

"Well, you aren't that big either," Kaoru opened the chips, "Start the movie. It better be good."

Kenshin hit play and waited for the screen to come up before fast forwarding through the previews. Halfway through the movie Kaoru was curled up next to Kenshin apparently sleeping. It took Kenshin a few seconds to realize she had fallen asleep. Putting an arm around her, he gently rested his head against hers, feeling the soft silky strands of her hair against his cheek. Before he knew it he was falling asleep too.

Only to be woken up what felt like minutes later to the feel of someone gently caressing his cheek.

"Kaoru…?"

"Hey," Kaoru said bringing her hand away.

Kenshin's eyes slowly opened in the darkened room to land on hers, "What time is it?"

"Three."

He sat up straighter, "Three?"

"Yeah," Kaoru said putting her arms around his neck, "Seems we both fell asleep. Another boring movie."

Kenshin tried to wipe away the last vestiges of his grogginess, "You're too awake for me."

"Too awake. Yeah, I guess I am. You sound kind of grumpy."

Kenshin yawned, "I can be very grumpy in the morning without proper rest."

He stood looking around in the darkness before turning on the lamp. Kaoru blinked her eyes owlishly at the sudden light that flooded the room.

"I should bring you home," Kenshin said more to himself.

"Why?"

"Why? Cause it's late," Kenshin replied.

Kaoru pouted, "I'm at your house. It's three in the morning, and you don't even have the decency to take advantage of me? What do I have to do strip naked?"

Kenshin was wide-eyed now and fully awake, "Ah…eh…wha…"

He'd never been so speechless in his life. Kaoru had just brazenly offered herself to him. Kenshin thought she had as long as his hearing was still good. He never would have had a problem before, but this was Kaoru, and he had plans on dumping her. There was no way he would…but as Kaoru came over to him the thought dissipated from his mind.

Kenshin noticed a faint blush on her cheeks now that she was closer.

"Kaoru…"

"Shh…" Kaoru interrupted before leaning in to kiss him.

Kenshin responded to the kiss as she moved against him.

*I shouldn't…*

Kenshin held Kaoru's shoulders moving her back.

"I really should get you home."

Kaoru watched him for a second as her face flushed further, "Oh. Okay."

*Great. She's angry. I don't blame her.*

Kenshin could tell from the tense way she was standing that she was thoroughly embarrassed and upset. He had rejected her after all.

*What must she think?*

Kenshin grabbed his keys from the counter in the stiff silence that Kaoru finally broke.

"I think I can find my own way home."

"You're kidding me. I'm not letting you go out there at this time of night," Kenshin countered.

"I'll be fine. I'm a tough girl."

Kenshin came over to her as she headed for the door, grabbing her arm to stop her.

"I don't care how tough you are. I'll give you a ride home."

Kaoru pulled her arm free, "Why?"

"Because it's not safe and it'll be a lot quicker…"

"Not that," Kaoru interrupted, "Why don't you want me? Is there something wrong? Am I not attractive to you? Or maybe you don't really want that kind of a relationship? I'm surprised. I thought most men jumped at such an opportunity. Especially you."

Kenshin was taken aback by her last statement, "What's that supposed mean?"

"Exactly what I said. That's all I hear from some people at that club!"

"And you believe them!"

Kaoru put a hand to her forehead, "Gomen nasai. I didn't mean to say that. Can you please take me home?"

"No," Kenshin answered firmly.

Kaoru glared at him, "I want to go home."

"You didn't before."

"Well I do now!"

Kenshin threw his hands up, "Why are women so frustrating?!"

"Why are men so frustrating!?" Kaoru countered right back.

They stared at each other eyes blazing before Kenshin began to chuckle. Kaoru followed suit. His chance to break it off with her was lost again. He couldn't do it. He just wanted to hold her in his arms and be able to be with her. He just couldn't let her go. Not tonight. Not anymore.

"Will you stay with me tonight?" Kenshin asked softly.

Kaoru seemed to consider his words, "Do you want me to stay tonight?"

"I wouldn't ask if I didn't mean it," Kenshin said softly moving closer.

"Maybe."

Kenshin took Kaoru's hand, slowly turning it over before kissing the palm of her hand. He then leisurely left a trail of light kisses up her arm. His arms wrapped around her waist dragging her closer to him, when he reached her shoulder.

"How about now?" Kenshin asked moving away from her shoulder and toward her neck.

"Hmm…I don't know," Kaoru whispered out, "I may need a little more convincing."

Even as she spoke Kaoru's hands worked to relieve Kenshin of his shirt. He shrugged out of it once all the buttons were undone. He felt Kaoru's appreciative gaze and hands roam his exposed upper body.

"Mmm."

Kenshin felt the very little reason he had left not to do this fly out the window with Kaoru's tiny sound of approval.

"Now do I look scrawny to you?" Kenshin asked easing Kaoru over to the couch.

She dipped her head down kissing his collarbone, slowly trailing down his chest, stopping at his navel. He shuddered as she slid back up to look at him.

"Not at all."

Kenshin slipped Kaoru's shirt off sliding his hands along her arms in the process. He brought her against him, relishing in the feel of her soft skin against his. Kenshin had been with many women, but he had never felt so…desperate to touch and hold and treasure the person in his arms. Running her hands along his shoulders, she paused.

"What happened?" Kaoru asked softly touching the healing wound on his shoulder.

"While we were stocking, one of the knives fell. Luckily it wasn't a deep cut. But who cares about that," Kenshin whispered huskily claiming Kaoru's lips with his on.

Kenshin forgot about everything but the woman in his arms, and the love he felt and wished he could express to her.

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Kaoru ran around in the darkness that surrounded her trying to find someway out. Devoid of light, she felt lost and aimless. She turned this way and that with a sense of desperate urgency that if she didn't find her way out, she would lose. Lose what she wasn't sure. She tried to call out but her voice was swallowed before a sound was even produced. She began to panic her chest heaving.

Her eyes finally locked on a small red light in the distance. She made a dash for it. The closer she got the more she noticed a sound that was almost squeaking as if a rusted wheel was turning on a bike. She didn't care. Anything was better than the black void she was in. The further she got the brighter the red light became, forming a distinct x. Reaching it, she threw herself into it without another thought.

Opening her eyes slowly, she was greeted by her own image but was horrified. The scar on her left cheek now had a mate. An ugly gash ripped through the scar forming that same X. Blood ran down her face and onto the white pristine dress she was wearing, giving her a ghastly appearance. The noise was now becoming unbearable. Reaching out to touch one of the mirrors she watched horrified, as blood began to seep from above staining her image. She ran blindly from the room only to trip and fall over something. Righting herself she saw an overturned wheelchair.

Heat. There was an intense heat at her back. She whirled around as the sound of soft laughter filled her ears, even more horrible and unbearable than the previous sound.

A severe cold fell over her despite the heat racing around her. Bodies. There were bodies lying everywhere. The smell of burnt flesh curled around her, making her gag. She frantically looked from familiar face to face before falling to her knees in front of a body strung up against the wall. Tomoe. It was Tomoe! Kaoru reached out to touch her feeling the skin crack beneath her fingers. Throwing her head back Kaoru let out an agonizingly silent scream.

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Kaoru's eyes snapped open her heart racing. Putting hand to her head, she did her best to start breathing regularly.

'Too many horror movies. That's it.'

Kaoru had vivid dreams before, but this one sent a chill down her spine. Most of it was quickly fading into obscurity though she remembered the more horrid details. She reached out for Kenshin needing his comfort only to find empty space.

"Are you okay?"

Kaoru turned her head to see Kenshin fully dressed and leaning against the wall by the window. His voice had sounded a little hoarse.

"Nightmare…"

Kaoru sat up feeling a little awkward. She pulled the sheet up to cover herself.

"What are you doing over there?"

"Thinking…" Kenshin replied in a curt and clipped tone.

"About?" Kaoru asked uncertainly.

"Last night."

"What about it?"

"It shouldn't have happened," Kenshin answered.

"What…what are you talking about?" Kaoru asked trying to process what he had just told her.

"I wasn't thinking right yesterday. I meant to break it off with you," Kenshin's voice came out cold and unfeeling.

"Break it off…? Then…Look at me!"

Kenshin refused to look, "I don't want to see you anymore. It's over between us."

Kaoru was stunned by Kenshin's cold manner. She was trying to comprehend what exactly was happening. She knew she must look like a gaping idiot.

"Are you serious?"

"Quite," Kenshin said his tone taking on an almost angered edge.

Kaoru stood up grabbing what clothes were in the room in the process. She felt tears rise but held them back, her face becoming an emotionless mask as her feelings of confusion and hurt turned to rage.

"I get it," Kaoru started softly, "You played around with me, and now that you've finally fucked me, you're done."

Startled by Kaoru's word choice Kenshin looked over. She had never been one to use such language in such a vehement tone. His eyes widened as he saw her cheek.

"You're bleeding."

Kaoru had just pulled on her pants, when she reached a hand to touch her cheek. She pulled her hand back to look at it. She was bleeding and quite freely.

"Why should you care?" Kaoru said angrily going for the bedroom door hurt and humiliated.

Kenshin followed, "Wait. Let me get something…"

"Just leave me the hell alone."

"Kaoru, I didn't want…" Kenshin started.

Kaoru yanked her shirt over her head after picking it up from the living room floor.

"Don't give me that bullshit! Next thing you know you'll ask if we can still be friends," Kaoru yanked on her shoe trying not to break down, her only defense her anger, "Don't worry I know where the door is."

Kaoru paused, when a certain scent reached her from her shirt, slamming her full force with a recollection of the night she had failed to protect Fujimiya.

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Kaoru sensed his fighting ki and was a little disturbed. It was just too familiar, but with the adrenaline rush she just couldn't place it.

Before she could blink her gun was knocked from her hands. She reacted by dropping down into a kick. Battousai jumped back avoiding it before dashing forward. Kaoru tried to move out of the way but wasn't fast enough.

Time seemed to slow as she felt her death approach her.

'Nee-san. Gomen nasai.'

Time snapped back to her as the tip of the blade pressed against her throat but no further.

'That scent…'

But Kaoru didn't get to finish her thought as Battousai moved again.

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'Of course. Why didn't I notice it before? It is so obvious.'

Her startled gaze lifted to Kenshin. His back was turned to her now.

"It's not like you said Kaoru. I didn't mean for last night to happen, and I didn't want to hurt you," Kenshin voice was no longer the cold impersonal one from before, but it was too late.

Kaoru let out a bitter laugh.

'Baka! Baka! I'm so stupid. I've tried to deny it…but it all makes sense now. It must have been fun for you Kenshin, toying with me, when you knew I was hunting you down. I blinded myself with wishful thinking. Battousai was familiar to Kenshin because it is Kenshin. I should know that one can manipulate their ki. Baka!'

The thoughts raced quickly through her head making her even more furious as she watched Kenshin stumble for something suitable to say.

"This is for the best," Kenshin said.

Kaoru opened the door, "I can't help but agree."

Slamming the door with all her might, she pressed a hand to her bleeding cheek. She couldn't go home like this. Her anger was burning out quickly replaced by an infinite sorrow and loss. Her feet started to carry her to the park, her only comfort. She was such a fool. Kaoru thought she would have learned from past mistakes. Kenshin had been too good to be true, and now she knew who he really was.

The only other question left was what would she do with that information.

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Hi! Sorry for taking so long to get the chapter out. I haven't been real satisfied with what I've been writing. I already have the next chapter, and will be posting next Monday. Hope to hear what you think!

Kyaa Kyaff saying til next time!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!