Just a little disclaimer here. Nothing of Bill Watterson's is mine, wish though I may. If you want to know what's Bill's, I suggest you read the comic strip. Oh, and one more thing. When I wrote this, I was actually intending it for children. In fact, the first version was a spontaneous, learn-as-you-go bedtime story for my little brother. Thus said, don't expect it to be brilliant prose.

Hamster Huey and the Gooey Kablooie

By Mabel Syrup(1)

Hamster Huey woke up and got out his favorite cereal, Mooey Chews, for breakfast. He poured a bowl and went to the fridge to get the special blue Mooey Chew milk that came with his Mooey Chews. On his way, he saw his calendar. It said June 22: Hamster Huey's birthday. Hamster Huey's birthday! Oh, my! He had almost forgotten. Hamster Huey said to himself, "Self, you can't have a birthday without a cake." So Hamster Huey decided to go to the store to get one. He left the house, got on his tricycle, and pedaled down the road. SQUEAK! SQUEAK! SQUEAK!

It was a little hard to ride because all the roads in Newetteville were dirt roads, and the dust clogged up the wheels. Finally he got to the store where he bought a beautiful, big, super-gooey chocolate cake with blue frosting and two blue candles. Just then, he heard the clock strike two after nine. (The town clock always struck two minutes after the hour.) Hamster Huey had to get to work! So he put the cake on the back of his tricycle and pedaled to work as fast as he could. SQUEAK! SQUEAK! SQUEAK!

Hamster Huey worked at the Gooey Glue Factory. Newetteville was famous for it's super-sticky purple Gooey Glue. He operated the Bright Green Gooey Glue Machine. This was the main gooey glue mixing machine, so Hamster Huey couldn't be late, or the Gooey Glue Factory couldn't start. He had been late before, and the gooey glue was late getting to the red rolly trucks that take it to the store. So Hamster Huey's boss, Hedgehog Henchwiler, had told him that if he were late to work, he would be fired.

Hamster Huey arrived at the Gooey Glue Factory, and he parked his tricycle. He carried his beautiful, big, super-gooey chocolate cake into the Factory, and set it on his desk. When he looked up, Hedgehog Henchwiler was standing in front of him.

"Where have you been, Hamster Huey?" he demanded.

"Um... I was... at the store," Hamster Huey said.

Hedgehog Henchwiler glared at him.

"I'm warning you, if you mess up one more time, you're out of here!" Then he walked away.

Hamster Huey sighed and turned on the Bright Green Gooey Glue Machine. The gooey glue ingredients fell into the machine from chutes above. There was sticky sap from the who-chew trees to make the glue gooey, old rubber tires from the red rolly trucks to make it strong, and pretty purple flowers to give it color. A big window on the front of the Bright Green Gooey Glue machine let him see the big mixers mixing the ingredients into gooey glue. On the other side, a pipe dropped globs of gooey glue in jars.

Hamster Huey sat down at his desk and watched the machine. Then he looked at his super-gooey chocolate cake with blue frosting and two blue candles, and he remembered that it was his birthday. Now, when a hamster has a birthday, or when he is very happy, he has to do a special dance called the Happy Hamster Hop. If a hamster doesn't to the Happy Hamster Hop, he stays the same age for a whole year more.So Hamster Huey decided to do the Happy Hamster Hop then, in case he forgot later. He stood up, wiggled his ears, waggled his tail, waved his paws, and jumped in the air. He turned around, balanced on one back paw, stood on his head, and somersaulted. Then he hopped back twice... and bumped into his desk.

Hamster Huey turned around to see his super-gooey chocolate cake go flying! It hit the Bright Green Gooey Glue Machine, splattering blue frosting. The cake slid down the machine and, OH, NO! It hit the speed dial and turned it from normal, to fast, to super fast! The gooey glue ingredients filled the machine up to the top. Hamster Huey tried to turn the dial back, but some gooey glue had dripped on it, and it was stuck! He looked through the big window and watched the gooey glue pressing at the glass. Hamster Huey heard a popping noise. He turned and ran, but not fast enough.

GOOOOOSSHHH!! ! The window broke and all the gooey glue spilled out, pushing Hamster Huey out the factory doors, down the streets, and right to his front door! There was sticky purple gooey glue everywhere, and the only sensible thing for Hamster Huey to do was to take a shower. After he was clean again, he hopped on his other tricycle (the first one was still at the factory), and rode to the Gooey Glue Factory. By this time, the glue had dried, and made the road all purple and hard. As he rode, he noticed that his tricycle did not squeak this time, and it was easier to pedal. When Hamster Huey reached the factory, he saw Hedgehog Henchwiler standing outside.

"Hamster Huey, you will no longer be working for the Gooey Glue Factory," Hedgehog Henchwiler said.

"Oh, Mr. Henchwiler," said Hamster Huey, "I am so sorry; I promise it will never happen again. Please don't fire me!"

Hedgehog Henchwiler continued. "You are now the vice-president of the Newetteville Road Top Topper Company! You have discovered a way to rid this town of dust on the streets. Congratulations!"

Hamster Huey was speechless. He smiled, shook Hedgehog Henchwiler's paw, and did his Happy Hamster Hop. Then he rode to the store to pick up another birthday cake, and did the Happy Hamster Hop all night long while he ate it.

The End

(1)This author is entirely fictional and is given as the author in the comic strip.