Disclaimer: Rurouni Kenshin was created by Watsuki Nobuhiro; all rights reserved to Sony, Shueisha JUMP, and Anime Works. All the other characters in this fiction are mine and can only be used with my permission. This piece of fiction was solely created for entertainment purposes only. I am not making any money from this.
Silent Voice
by: Crimson Prophet
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If it be your will, That I speak no more,
And my voice be still, As it was before,
I will speak no more, I shall abide until,
I am spoken for, If it be your will...
-From the movie "Pump Up The Volume"
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I dream.
Which is to say, I am.
I dream.
Which is to say, I live.
To dream is my purpose in life.
To dream is why I live.
To dream is who I am, what I am.
To dream is to be.
I lie upon my bed, eyes closed, face serene. I lie, not stirring, unmoving, lost in the eternal darkness of my dreams. I cannot speak, cannot utter a sound, a silent voice as I dream, as I see. I brace myself as I walk through my dreams, through others' dreams, like a specter, like a wraith, no more than a shadow, no more than a dream inside a dream.
Once, long ago, I started to dream as an escape, as a refuge from the horrors of living.
But I was wrong...
I was wrong.
For even in my dreams there is no escape.
In my dreams I see blood, anguish, horror, and pain. In my dreams I see of love torn apart, of tears -Oh God, endless tears- sorrow, broken smiles and broken spirit. I see cruelness of my own race against what they consider their enemies, and even against those they say they love. The delight of flesh hitting flesh. I have seen it, have experienced it, felt repulsed by it. But there was nothing I could do. For I am nothing more than a silent voice. Like a warrior I forge on, never faltering, never hesitating, never letting doubt and uncertainty take over my own soul.
There is nothing to be gained in hesitating.
Only death and more pain.
So I go on, sleep on and dream.
Dream, and see.
Dream, and save.
Their horror in exchange for mine.
My life forfeit for theirs.
And yet...
And yet I have never lost hope in the one who can set me free. The one who will see past my beautiful shell, my human's façade, my abilities and skill. One who will see past the dreams that made me what I am, one who can save me, save me from this eternal darkness, save me from my cage I myself set. The soft, dark cage where in I imprisoned myself. Rescue me from myself.
Yes...rescue me from myself.
The one who can hear my silent voice, see my silent tears.
See my anguish and set me free from the gift that God gave me.
Yet...even after waiting for such a long time, he hasn't arrived.
No one has come to save me.
But I will wait. For how long, I don't know.
For now, I dream.
For now, I see.
See the things that God has permitted me to see.
The Future.
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Author's Notes:
Antelogium - Latin for Prolugue.
In one's dreams, one can see the future. tsuzuku.