It was raining. I had woken up moments earlier in a cold sweat. Now it was raining and I knew I wouldn't be able to fall back asleep. Jesse loved thunderstorms. Jesse. I knew Dom had told him everything about my father and about how I hadn't yet got over my eating disorder. I wasn't sure what was going to happen and that scared me. I didn't cry anymore really and even though this made me want to, I didn't.

The day had gone pretty quickly really. After Dom had told Letty everything she had tried to clean me up the best she could, putting a bandage over the cut on my head and some stuff over my bruises. I still looked like shit but I felt somewhat better. Mia said they'd figure out what to do about my ribs later and frankly I didn't really care. As long as I could breath I was fine. Vince and Leon had gone back over to my house and cleaned out my room bringing everything over here. Dom said I couldn't go back there and he wouldn't let me so I was moving in with them. I was in the guest bedroom now until Jesse and I could work things out. He hadn't talked to me at all that day so I wasn't sure what to think.

Then they weighed me. It was the worst moment in my whole life I think. I wasn't going to do it. "No." I said crossing my arms over my chest.

"C'mon Lexi its gotta be done sometime" Letty had pleaded with me. I stood my ground firmly.

"No!" This brought a smirk out of Dom watching me piss Letty off.

"Lexi," She started in. "This is either going to be done now or at a hospital, which would you prefer?" I glared at her but getting up just the same. She dragged me into the bathroom and told me to get on the scale. I groaned but did it anyway covering my eyes so I wouldn't have to see the number.

When she finally took me back out everyone look anxious. "98 pounds on the dot." She said grimly. Mia looked shocked and Dom grimaced.

"How….I mean why?" Mia asked looking at me like I was crazy.

I shrugged. "It's not that hard really. I wouldn't eat for awhile and when I did it was pretzels something anything that wouldn't make me gain weight. Now you're asking why? I had always felt I wasn't good enough or never could be for my parents. So I figured if I was thin maybe then I could be good enough or not such a disappointment. Then when mom died dad would just tell me I was fat or I was ugly anything to make me hate myself even more. It worked." I finished looking straight ahead. That had been the beginning of the nagging. I slowly turned my head to look at the clock and moaned when I saw it read 1am. I knew I wouldn't be able to go back to sleep so I might as well go watch the thunderstorm on the porch.

I hoisted myself up and out of bed and made my way to the door. I opened and slowly made my way downstairs to the porch. As I opened the door I let the cold wind hit my face. It made me dizzy all the sudden causing me to grab unto the railing and sit down hard on the step. I put my chin in my hands watching the lighting merely a couple miles away. After a couple of minutes I heard the screen door open behind me.

"I thought I'd find you out here." Said a voice.

I nodded. "I thought you'd be out before I was."

He shook his head. "It only woke me up a couple of minutes ago."

"Ah." was all I could think to say.

"Lexi I think we should talk." He said sitting down beside me. I nodded.

"I'm not mad at you, Jesse." I said looking over at him. "It's not your fault, I mean I was determined not to drag you guys into this it wasn't that bad. I mean... he didn't hurt me that bad until a couple of months ago but still I was determined. I guess it didn't work very well. I don't blame you for walking out I dumped a lot on you and I shouldn't have." I said looking back out into the darkness.

I continued after a few moments. "I should have told you about my eating disorder but I didn't want you to be stressed out even more. This is the busy season for the garage and I know that. I didn't want to lay more pressure on you making you feel like you had to be around me all the time. I can take care of myself, I guess it's just nice to know someone cares." I stopped and sighed. I was afraid with saying all that I was going to run him off again.

He put his finger under my chin and turned my head towards him like you would with a little kid who was crying. "It wouldn't have put pressure on me Lex. You're my girlfriend and I care about you. It makes me worry more knowing that you think you can't tell me stuff because you don't want to pressure me. It's not like that at all. Cars may be my thing but you're my life. It's the garage I mean we have Vince, Leon, and Letty not to mention Dom all working in there. It's not that big of a deal." He said brushing a strand of hair out of my face.

"I think it is." I whispered.

"Its not." He whispered back. It was starting to get cold so I wrapped my arms around myself trying to draw some kind of warmth out.

"C'mon lets go back inside, its getting cold out here and I don't think that's exactly good for you." I stood up shakily my legs still trying to get used to standing. I must have looked like crap. I had on a tank and shorts. They showed all my bruises but really why should I care? I didn't. We climbed the stairs and when we came to my door I turned around to say goodnight.

"Night, Jess." I said sleepily looking at him.

"If you want, Lex, you can sleep in my room." He said looking at his feet.

I laughed. "Ok." I said walking down the hallway to his room and walking around the side of the bed. I slipped under the covers, pulling them tightly around me trying to get warm. He quietly slipped in beside me and put his arms around me. For the first time in a long time I felt safe