We Dance in Misery
Disclaimer: Same as before
Chapter Six
~~Being Chapter~~
Christian didn't know why, but he felt so jealous when Davey said that he had a lover. Christian rolled over in bed and sighed, "I shouldn't be jealous, not of anybody. Maybe of Davey for having someone to be intimate with while I'm just a love-loss whore. But...I felt jealous of Jade...no, I'm not jealous!"
Christian turned around again, "But then again, maybe it's not just jealousy, maybe it's just this fever making me a bit mad. A spot of Absinthe perhaps?"
Christian turned on to his stomach, "Damn it, I thought I was rid of that urge..."
Christian turned to the position he was previously in, "No, it was always there..."
Christian turned onto his back, "I've just been trying to avoid it because the last time I got drunk, I ended up in this life."
Christian turned the other way from the position he was previously in, "But without this life I wouldn't have found Davey."
Christian turned on his back again, "No, no, no! Who cares. If I weren't drunk at that time, I would have been sober,and realized to go back to England, I would have taken in my life like my father..."
Christian turned back again, "yeah, miserable, with no hope of love again ever. Maybe I do love..."
Christian turned on his back once more, "No! I don't! Love is gone! All knowledge and hope for love died with Satine, leave it at that!"
Christian sighed as he rolled over and fell off the bed. "Ow."
Davey just then walked in, seeing Christian on the floor, holding his head, Davey rushed to his side. "Are you alright, Christian? Does your head hurt? Do you hurt anywhere? Would you like some ice? Let me help you back in bed!"
"Yeah, no, no, no, thanks," Christian answered Davey's fast questions. Davey smiled and laughed a bit. He covered Christian in the sheets and brushed his bangs out of his face.
"You should be more careful, Chris," Davey said. Christian nodded. "Now, would you like some lunch or some tea? You need something to eat and drink to get through this little cold." Davey put the back of his hand to Christian's forehead. "Great news, your fever has gone down, but it's not normal yet." Davey felt his own forehead and nodded. "Alright, so what would you like for lunch?"
"Absinthe..."
"What?"
"I don't know."
"Did you say Absinthe?" Christian meekly nodded. Davey shook his head, "You won't find Absinthe in this Boho's gaff. Sorry, Chris, but Absinthe isn't the drink to drink for a cold. How's tea, or water instead?"
"Water."
"Wonderful, and your meal?"
"I'll take...I dunno..."
"I'll fix you something up then," Davey said. He walked out of the room and started to cook after giving Christian some cool water.
Christian sat up in the bed, sipping at the water and staring at the wall. Memories of before played in his head, when he was with Satine, he was so happy then, his eyes were full of so much light and hope, he was full of hope and love. He was so happy, he was joyous with each morning, with each day, each night, he spent with Satine, despite hiding it from the Duke, he loved Satine so much, he was willing to move heaven and earth for her happiness. But now that she was gone, he felt empty. He didn't want to love anyone else but Satine, but without loving anyone else, he would be so miserable.
Christian groaned, he was so confused. Was it possible to love another after loving someone so much before?
"Here's lunch!" Davey called enthusiastically as he walked in carrying a steaming tray. There were pastries and hotcakes. Christian's mouth watered at the sight. "I hope you like it."
Davey placed it on Christian's lap and gave him a napkin. Christian smiled at the lovely food before him, he looked up at Davey like a little kid and said happily, "I don't think one napkin will cover it, Davey! I'll need more than a measely single napkin! This looks great!"
"Eat!" Davey laughed. He sat in the chair next to the bed and watched as Christian devoured the warm food.
Christian looked up at Davey, "This is great! I love it!"
"Thanks," Davey said. He sat with a notebook in his hand, and he began to draw Christian eating his food. The drawing wasn't real-life looking, per se, but it was pretty good. Though Davey could paint well, he was crap when it came to drawing humans. He decided to draw Christian as a dragon taking a meal on an ox. Davey looked up again to see Christian staring at him. "Yes?"
"Oh, uh, what're you drawing?" Christian asked. Davey showed him the drawing of the dragon over the ox on a mountain, it looked like China. "Wow, that's good. Do you draw humans?"
Davey shook his head, "No, I'm crap with humans. I can't draw them or paint them. Most of my drawings or paintings or more symbolic. Like a persons spirit animal in Native American beliefs, or the animal year they were born in, Year of the dragon, pig, snake, rabbit, y'know."
"What year were you born in?"
"The rabbit."
"I was born in 1880, what year was that?"
"The Dragon!" Davey gasped. "Well, that's nice, a dragon poet."
"What're rabbits supposed to be like?"
"Rabbits are the lucky people, and I certainly can agree with that recently, after meeting you." Christian blushed, Davey blushed. He continued, "And uh...uhm, in regards of reincarnation, rabbits can't reincarnate, this is my last life here."
"That's a shame," Christian said. "If it's your last life, you should make it enjoyable."
"I try," Davey said. "But I've mainly been plagued too much by questions, and answers, multiple choice questions, none of them right, all of them right, and why everything is. My life isn't perfect like a lot of people think it to be. I've always been the person people talk to, 'I have a problem', 'Oh go see Davey, he always listens!' No one listens to me. No one hears my cries, I listen to everyone, and I try to help them as much as I can. I have friends, indeed, I helped my friends Adam and Hunter realize that they're homosexuals and belong with each other, and Jade is my best friend, but it's rare I actually confide in him. He has a love for art that is unrivaled even by me. Recently, he seems to have found someone, going off and being with them nearly all the time, I think he's in love. And I'm left alone, with a family that are totally nuts, a father who hates me, brothers and sisters who try to drain me of everything, and a mother who only worries about the gossip she hears and if people gossip about her." Davey leaned foward and rubbed his head. "I don't know what anyone expects of me, I just keep getting put under pressure."
Christian hugged Davey, "It's alright, Davey. I care, I care, I'll listen. You can always talk to me. I'll always listen."
Davey hugged Christian back, "Thanks."
"Hey Davey?"
"Yes?"
"I thought you said that Jade was your lover."
"Oh...uh...I...lied." Davey hid his face.
"Why?"
"Because...I was...jealous..." Davey rubbed his face into his hands.
"Of what?"
"Well...you had someone, and I was jealous. I was afraid that you'd think I was using you when I actually..."
"You actually?"
Davey didn't answer, he hid his face with a pillow, he could feel himself blushing furiously. Christian chuckled, "I love you too."
Davey looked up, "You...do?"
"Yes."
Davey smiled, "I love you, Christian."
They hugged, Christian smiled and kissed Davey. Davey got on the bed next to Christian, "I love you so much."
Christian pulled from Davey, "I love you, Davey...but you know..."
"I know," Davey said understandingly. "I offer blood, I offer grace, I offer everything until my heart is crystal clear (1). Just as long as you love me, Chris."
"I love you."
~~A few days later~~
"Is the piano tuned properly, Jade?" Davey asked Jade as he walked up. Jade nodded.
"Yes, for the tenth time, Davey, it's tuned!" Jade said laughing. Davey sighed.
"Sorry, I'm just so stressed out, y'know. Today, we're playing totally new music that no one has ever dreamnt of!" Davey said running a hand through his short hair. Jade patted him on the back.
"Don't worry, Davey, it'll be just fine, we'll do just great. And you'll excell!" Jade said reassuringly. Davey nodded.
"Right, we're going to be just fine."
"Absolutely," Jade said.
"Misc. Fits, on in three," the manager said. "Damned bohemians."
Davey smirked and got up on stage, the curtain still not drawn back, he adjusted the microphone. He looked back at Jade, and his other friends, and nodded. Jade gave him a thumbs up, saying in a way that no matter what, everything was going to be all right.
In the audience, Christian sat at the front, next to his friend Lena. "So what're you here for?"
"I'm here for the pianist," Lena sighed while smiling. Christian cocked an eyebrow...the pianist?
"Jade?" Christian asked himself. He chuckled, so that's who Jade was seeing when Davey talked about him.
"What about you?"
"The singer."
"WHAT?"
"Ssh, the show's starting!"
The audience applauded as the manager introduced the band, "Ladies and Gentlemen, here are the Misc. Fits, a band too far ahead of their time. Don't bother to applaud if you're tired."
The manager of the Bar Absinthe walked off stage. Christian looked around nervously, hoping that Zidler wasn't in the Bar Absinthe.
Davey tapped his foot a bit as the piano started, and a guitar came on, Christian realized what Davey was playing, and smiled.
Suddenly the piano stopped, and Jade switched to Bass immediately as the drums started up, Christian was a bit confused, but everything was clear when Davey belted out the chords:
"We are the ones with the radiating eyes.
We are the Ones who have a fire inside.
We are the ones only we can recognize.
We've been rejected (we've been rejected)-
Suffered the ignorance, suffered the selfishness,
been pushed so far down now comes our time to surface.
Turn from the light, that made them all go blind.
We've been protected (we've been protected)
ALL ARISE TO WHAT WE BRING,
OUTSTRETCHED HANDS, UNFOLDED WINGS.
We've hurt ourselves, and I feel the sting of
broken hearts and burning wings..."(2)
The bohemians cheered, feeling now that they were to be described by that song, to be the ones with radiating eyes, to have the fire inside, that only they can recognize, they've been rejected, suffered ignorance and selfishness, but now was their time to come to the surface.
Davey smiled, they were liked by their introductory song. Then Jade went to piano a moment, playing some, then back to bass, the drums and bass played off of each other for a while before the guitar came in and then Davey sang again, the song Christian knew quite well:
"I remember when I was told of story of crushed velvet,
candle wax, and dried up flowers
The figure on the bed all dressed up in roses, calling
Beckoning to sleep,
Offering a dream
words were as mystical as purring animals
The circle of rage
The ghosts on the stage appeared
The time was so tangible, I'll never let it go
Ghost stories handed down, reached secret tunnels below
No one could see me
I fell into yesterday
Our dreams seemed not far away
I want to, I want to, I want to stay
I fell into fantasy
The words were as mystical as purring animals
The circle of rage
The ghosts on the stage appeared
The time was so tangible, I'll never let it go
Ghost stories handed down, reached secret tunnels below
No one could see me
I fell into yesterday.
Our dreams seemed not far away
I want to, I want to, I want to stay.
I fell into fantasy
The girl on the wall always waited for me,
And she was always smiling
The teenage death boys
The teenage death girls
And everyone was dancing
Nothing could touch us then
No one could change us then
Everyone was dancing
Nothing could hurt us then
No one could see us then
Everyone was dancing
Everyone was dancing
No one could see me
I fell into yesterday
Our dreams seemed not far away
I want to, I want to, I want to stay
I fell into fantasy
Our dreams seemed not far away
Our dreams seemed not far away
Our dreams seemed not far away
I fell into fantasy(3)"
People cheered again, loving the music and the lyrics. Davey was being swept up in the energy of the crowd. He smiled again, as he talked to them, "This is a song on a more mellow level, it's called MorningStar(4)."
Davey stood at the front of the stage, Jade plucked at the base quickly, going in a steady beat, when the drums continued it and Jade switched to the piano.
"I saw a star beneath the stairs glowing through the melting walls.
Who will be the first to begin their fall?
Or will we become one?
Am I the star beneath the stairs?
Am I a ghost upon the stage?
Am I your anything?
I saw a star beneath the stairs glowing bright before descent
and in the morning there is nothing left but what's inside of me.
Am I the star beneath the stairs?
Am I a ghost upon the stage?
Am I your anything?
Am I the star beneath the stairs?
Am I a ghost upon the stage?
Am I your anything?
And I don't want to die tonight; will you believe in me?
And I don't want to fall into the light.
Will you wish upon?
Will you walk upon me?
I don't want to die tonight.
Will you believe in me tonight?
Am I the star beneah the stairs?
Am I a ghost upon the stage?
Am I your anything?
Am I the star beneah the stairs?
Am I a ghost upon the stage?
Am I your anything?"
Christian felt a hand on his shoulder, and then felt the hot breath of someone in his ear, "There you are boy."
Christian's eyes widened in fear.
~~End Chapter~~
What'd you think? I hope you liked it. It's short, all of these are short aren't they?
(1)Sacrifice Theory ("Art of Drowning" 2000)
(2)Keeping out of Direct Sunlight ("Shut Your Mouth And Open Your Eyes" 1997)
(3)Days of the Phoenix ("Art of Drowning" 2000)
(4)Morning Star ("Art of Drowning" 2000)
(All of these songs are by AFI)
Please Review
~Jester
Disclaimer: Same as before
Chapter Six
~~Being Chapter~~
Christian didn't know why, but he felt so jealous when Davey said that he had a lover. Christian rolled over in bed and sighed, "I shouldn't be jealous, not of anybody. Maybe of Davey for having someone to be intimate with while I'm just a love-loss whore. But...I felt jealous of Jade...no, I'm not jealous!"
Christian turned around again, "But then again, maybe it's not just jealousy, maybe it's just this fever making me a bit mad. A spot of Absinthe perhaps?"
Christian turned on to his stomach, "Damn it, I thought I was rid of that urge..."
Christian turned to the position he was previously in, "No, it was always there..."
Christian turned onto his back, "I've just been trying to avoid it because the last time I got drunk, I ended up in this life."
Christian turned the other way from the position he was previously in, "But without this life I wouldn't have found Davey."
Christian turned on his back again, "No, no, no! Who cares. If I weren't drunk at that time, I would have been sober,and realized to go back to England, I would have taken in my life like my father..."
Christian turned back again, "yeah, miserable, with no hope of love again ever. Maybe I do love..."
Christian turned on his back once more, "No! I don't! Love is gone! All knowledge and hope for love died with Satine, leave it at that!"
Christian sighed as he rolled over and fell off the bed. "Ow."
Davey just then walked in, seeing Christian on the floor, holding his head, Davey rushed to his side. "Are you alright, Christian? Does your head hurt? Do you hurt anywhere? Would you like some ice? Let me help you back in bed!"
"Yeah, no, no, no, thanks," Christian answered Davey's fast questions. Davey smiled and laughed a bit. He covered Christian in the sheets and brushed his bangs out of his face.
"You should be more careful, Chris," Davey said. Christian nodded. "Now, would you like some lunch or some tea? You need something to eat and drink to get through this little cold." Davey put the back of his hand to Christian's forehead. "Great news, your fever has gone down, but it's not normal yet." Davey felt his own forehead and nodded. "Alright, so what would you like for lunch?"
"Absinthe..."
"What?"
"I don't know."
"Did you say Absinthe?" Christian meekly nodded. Davey shook his head, "You won't find Absinthe in this Boho's gaff. Sorry, Chris, but Absinthe isn't the drink to drink for a cold. How's tea, or water instead?"
"Water."
"Wonderful, and your meal?"
"I'll take...I dunno..."
"I'll fix you something up then," Davey said. He walked out of the room and started to cook after giving Christian some cool water.
Christian sat up in the bed, sipping at the water and staring at the wall. Memories of before played in his head, when he was with Satine, he was so happy then, his eyes were full of so much light and hope, he was full of hope and love. He was so happy, he was joyous with each morning, with each day, each night, he spent with Satine, despite hiding it from the Duke, he loved Satine so much, he was willing to move heaven and earth for her happiness. But now that she was gone, he felt empty. He didn't want to love anyone else but Satine, but without loving anyone else, he would be so miserable.
Christian groaned, he was so confused. Was it possible to love another after loving someone so much before?
"Here's lunch!" Davey called enthusiastically as he walked in carrying a steaming tray. There were pastries and hotcakes. Christian's mouth watered at the sight. "I hope you like it."
Davey placed it on Christian's lap and gave him a napkin. Christian smiled at the lovely food before him, he looked up at Davey like a little kid and said happily, "I don't think one napkin will cover it, Davey! I'll need more than a measely single napkin! This looks great!"
"Eat!" Davey laughed. He sat in the chair next to the bed and watched as Christian devoured the warm food.
Christian looked up at Davey, "This is great! I love it!"
"Thanks," Davey said. He sat with a notebook in his hand, and he began to draw Christian eating his food. The drawing wasn't real-life looking, per se, but it was pretty good. Though Davey could paint well, he was crap when it came to drawing humans. He decided to draw Christian as a dragon taking a meal on an ox. Davey looked up again to see Christian staring at him. "Yes?"
"Oh, uh, what're you drawing?" Christian asked. Davey showed him the drawing of the dragon over the ox on a mountain, it looked like China. "Wow, that's good. Do you draw humans?"
Davey shook his head, "No, I'm crap with humans. I can't draw them or paint them. Most of my drawings or paintings or more symbolic. Like a persons spirit animal in Native American beliefs, or the animal year they were born in, Year of the dragon, pig, snake, rabbit, y'know."
"What year were you born in?"
"The rabbit."
"I was born in 1880, what year was that?"
"The Dragon!" Davey gasped. "Well, that's nice, a dragon poet."
"What're rabbits supposed to be like?"
"Rabbits are the lucky people, and I certainly can agree with that recently, after meeting you." Christian blushed, Davey blushed. He continued, "And uh...uhm, in regards of reincarnation, rabbits can't reincarnate, this is my last life here."
"That's a shame," Christian said. "If it's your last life, you should make it enjoyable."
"I try," Davey said. "But I've mainly been plagued too much by questions, and answers, multiple choice questions, none of them right, all of them right, and why everything is. My life isn't perfect like a lot of people think it to be. I've always been the person people talk to, 'I have a problem', 'Oh go see Davey, he always listens!' No one listens to me. No one hears my cries, I listen to everyone, and I try to help them as much as I can. I have friends, indeed, I helped my friends Adam and Hunter realize that they're homosexuals and belong with each other, and Jade is my best friend, but it's rare I actually confide in him. He has a love for art that is unrivaled even by me. Recently, he seems to have found someone, going off and being with them nearly all the time, I think he's in love. And I'm left alone, with a family that are totally nuts, a father who hates me, brothers and sisters who try to drain me of everything, and a mother who only worries about the gossip she hears and if people gossip about her." Davey leaned foward and rubbed his head. "I don't know what anyone expects of me, I just keep getting put under pressure."
Christian hugged Davey, "It's alright, Davey. I care, I care, I'll listen. You can always talk to me. I'll always listen."
Davey hugged Christian back, "Thanks."
"Hey Davey?"
"Yes?"
"I thought you said that Jade was your lover."
"Oh...uh...I...lied." Davey hid his face.
"Why?"
"Because...I was...jealous..." Davey rubbed his face into his hands.
"Of what?"
"Well...you had someone, and I was jealous. I was afraid that you'd think I was using you when I actually..."
"You actually?"
Davey didn't answer, he hid his face with a pillow, he could feel himself blushing furiously. Christian chuckled, "I love you too."
Davey looked up, "You...do?"
"Yes."
Davey smiled, "I love you, Christian."
They hugged, Christian smiled and kissed Davey. Davey got on the bed next to Christian, "I love you so much."
Christian pulled from Davey, "I love you, Davey...but you know..."
"I know," Davey said understandingly. "I offer blood, I offer grace, I offer everything until my heart is crystal clear (1). Just as long as you love me, Chris."
"I love you."
~~A few days later~~
"Is the piano tuned properly, Jade?" Davey asked Jade as he walked up. Jade nodded.
"Yes, for the tenth time, Davey, it's tuned!" Jade said laughing. Davey sighed.
"Sorry, I'm just so stressed out, y'know. Today, we're playing totally new music that no one has ever dreamnt of!" Davey said running a hand through his short hair. Jade patted him on the back.
"Don't worry, Davey, it'll be just fine, we'll do just great. And you'll excell!" Jade said reassuringly. Davey nodded.
"Right, we're going to be just fine."
"Absolutely," Jade said.
"Misc. Fits, on in three," the manager said. "Damned bohemians."
Davey smirked and got up on stage, the curtain still not drawn back, he adjusted the microphone. He looked back at Jade, and his other friends, and nodded. Jade gave him a thumbs up, saying in a way that no matter what, everything was going to be all right.
In the audience, Christian sat at the front, next to his friend Lena. "So what're you here for?"
"I'm here for the pianist," Lena sighed while smiling. Christian cocked an eyebrow...the pianist?
"Jade?" Christian asked himself. He chuckled, so that's who Jade was seeing when Davey talked about him.
"What about you?"
"The singer."
"WHAT?"
"Ssh, the show's starting!"
The audience applauded as the manager introduced the band, "Ladies and Gentlemen, here are the Misc. Fits, a band too far ahead of their time. Don't bother to applaud if you're tired."
The manager of the Bar Absinthe walked off stage. Christian looked around nervously, hoping that Zidler wasn't in the Bar Absinthe.
Davey tapped his foot a bit as the piano started, and a guitar came on, Christian realized what Davey was playing, and smiled.
Suddenly the piano stopped, and Jade switched to Bass immediately as the drums started up, Christian was a bit confused, but everything was clear when Davey belted out the chords:
"We are the ones with the radiating eyes.
We are the Ones who have a fire inside.
We are the ones only we can recognize.
We've been rejected (we've been rejected)-
Suffered the ignorance, suffered the selfishness,
been pushed so far down now comes our time to surface.
Turn from the light, that made them all go blind.
We've been protected (we've been protected)
ALL ARISE TO WHAT WE BRING,
OUTSTRETCHED HANDS, UNFOLDED WINGS.
We've hurt ourselves, and I feel the sting of
broken hearts and burning wings..."(2)
The bohemians cheered, feeling now that they were to be described by that song, to be the ones with radiating eyes, to have the fire inside, that only they can recognize, they've been rejected, suffered ignorance and selfishness, but now was their time to come to the surface.
Davey smiled, they were liked by their introductory song. Then Jade went to piano a moment, playing some, then back to bass, the drums and bass played off of each other for a while before the guitar came in and then Davey sang again, the song Christian knew quite well:
"I remember when I was told of story of crushed velvet,
candle wax, and dried up flowers
The figure on the bed all dressed up in roses, calling
Beckoning to sleep,
Offering a dream
words were as mystical as purring animals
The circle of rage
The ghosts on the stage appeared
The time was so tangible, I'll never let it go
Ghost stories handed down, reached secret tunnels below
No one could see me
I fell into yesterday
Our dreams seemed not far away
I want to, I want to, I want to stay
I fell into fantasy
The words were as mystical as purring animals
The circle of rage
The ghosts on the stage appeared
The time was so tangible, I'll never let it go
Ghost stories handed down, reached secret tunnels below
No one could see me
I fell into yesterday.
Our dreams seemed not far away
I want to, I want to, I want to stay.
I fell into fantasy
The girl on the wall always waited for me,
And she was always smiling
The teenage death boys
The teenage death girls
And everyone was dancing
Nothing could touch us then
No one could change us then
Everyone was dancing
Nothing could hurt us then
No one could see us then
Everyone was dancing
Everyone was dancing
No one could see me
I fell into yesterday
Our dreams seemed not far away
I want to, I want to, I want to stay
I fell into fantasy
Our dreams seemed not far away
Our dreams seemed not far away
Our dreams seemed not far away
I fell into fantasy(3)"
People cheered again, loving the music and the lyrics. Davey was being swept up in the energy of the crowd. He smiled again, as he talked to them, "This is a song on a more mellow level, it's called MorningStar(4)."
Davey stood at the front of the stage, Jade plucked at the base quickly, going in a steady beat, when the drums continued it and Jade switched to the piano.
"I saw a star beneath the stairs glowing through the melting walls.
Who will be the first to begin their fall?
Or will we become one?
Am I the star beneath the stairs?
Am I a ghost upon the stage?
Am I your anything?
I saw a star beneath the stairs glowing bright before descent
and in the morning there is nothing left but what's inside of me.
Am I the star beneath the stairs?
Am I a ghost upon the stage?
Am I your anything?
Am I the star beneath the stairs?
Am I a ghost upon the stage?
Am I your anything?
And I don't want to die tonight; will you believe in me?
And I don't want to fall into the light.
Will you wish upon?
Will you walk upon me?
I don't want to die tonight.
Will you believe in me tonight?
Am I the star beneah the stairs?
Am I a ghost upon the stage?
Am I your anything?
Am I the star beneah the stairs?
Am I a ghost upon the stage?
Am I your anything?"
Christian felt a hand on his shoulder, and then felt the hot breath of someone in his ear, "There you are boy."
Christian's eyes widened in fear.
~~End Chapter~~
What'd you think? I hope you liked it. It's short, all of these are short aren't they?
(1)Sacrifice Theory ("Art of Drowning" 2000)
(2)Keeping out of Direct Sunlight ("Shut Your Mouth And Open Your Eyes" 1997)
(3)Days of the Phoenix ("Art of Drowning" 2000)
(4)Morning Star ("Art of Drowning" 2000)
(All of these songs are by AFI)
Please Review
~Jester