Author's Notes: Alrighty everybody, haven't updated this for awhile, hmmm.  Anyhoo, slight, slight, slight language in this chapter, but nothing to get your pantaloons in a tangle.  Also, Leccy's song at the end is from Into the Woods, therefore I do not own it.  I don't own Cats, either, by the way.  La de da.

*~*

The Planning Stage.

Being the first part of It's A Given

By Jemi Gr, in case you were wondering

"This is your plan?" said Etcetera, raising an eyebrow and staring at her friend with a mixture of amusement and concern. 

"Yes," said Electra proudly, stepping back to admire her work – a basket draped with massive amounts of red yarn.  "Beautiful, dontcha think?"

"Um… what is it?" inquired Etcetera.

Electra rolled her eyes, as if this was the most obvious thing in the world.  "It's a basket covered in yarn, genius."

"I can see that," said Etcetera exasperatedly.  "But what are we going to do with it?  How in the world are a basket and some yarn going to break up Misto and Teazer?"

"Simple," said Electra with a smile.  "We just follow them around everywhere, and whenever they start to kiss, we drop it on their heads!"

"You've got to be kidding me," sighed Etcetera, rubbing her striped forehead anxiously.

Electra ignored her and went on.  "Eventually, they'll realize that whenever they kiss, they get a basket dropped on their heads, and then eventually they'll stop kissing, because who wants a basket dropped on their heads all the time?  Anyway, soon they'll break up and go back to their perfect matches because they can't kiss each other!  It's the perfect plan!"

"Um… Leccy?" said Etcetera, raising her head a little.  "Love isn't all about kissing, you know."

"Then what is it about, Ms. Smarty Pants?" said Electra smugly, crossing her arms in front of her chest.

"Well, it's about love… and stuff," said Etcetera.

"Love, which is personified by kissing!" cried Electra.  "I mean, how are they going to tell each other that they love one another if they can't kiss?!?"

"Gee, I don't know…" said Etcetera sarcastically, rolling her eyes.  "Maybe by saying I love you or something?"

Electra huffed.  "Fine, then, we'll drop the basket on their heads whenever they do that to."

"Another thing," said Etcetera.  "How do you plan to drop the basket on their heads anyway?  Levitate above them?  Hitch a ride from the sparrow?  Move to the Jellicle Moon?  Ask for special permission to go the Heaviside Layer?"

"Alright, fine!" cried Electra, throwing her paws up in defeat.  "We'll come up with a new plan, okay?"

Etcetera smirked.

"This time," said Electra, a smirk growing on her face as well, "we'll go for the sympathy angle…"

*~*

"All I'm asking you to do," said Electra to the male half of the Notorious Duo, "is write a little letter to Teazer telling her to break up with Misto and hook back up with you!"

"An' why woul' Oi do a thin' loike that?" asked Mungojerrie smugly.

"Dontcha miss her, Mungo?" cried Electra.

"Uh… no' really," confessed the tom.

"But you two belong together!  Two peas in a pod, remember?" sighed Electra dramatically.

"Oh, me an' Teaza're still two peas in a pod," said Mungojerrie.  "O'ly now, their diff'rent kindsa peas.  It ain't no big thing, Lec – we're still frien's."

"Friends!  I scoff in your general direction!" said Electra.  "Scoff!  Scoff!  Don't make me explain how her relationship with Misto well affect our entire well-being!"

"Yes, please, don't make her," chimed in Etcetera.

"Well, alroight, Oi spose Oi could write ya a letter of some sor' ta give ta Teaza'," said Mungojerrie, shrugging.  "But please don' go too far with this – Teaza's happy with Misto an' all Oi wont is fo' Teaza' ta be happy."

"Awwwww," swooned the two young queens.

"Don't you worry, Mungo, Teazer will be the happiest queen alive when she's back in the arms of her proper mate," sighed Electra.  "Now get to work on that letter, quickly!  We haven't got all year."

"Yes, ma'am," said Mungojerrie, rolling his eyes and retreating back into the darkness of his box.

"Now, onward to Victoria!" cried Electra.  "Come on, cats, march!  March!  March!"

*~*

"You can't be serious," said Victoria lazily, yawning and preening herself absentmindedly. 

"But you like him a little at least, right?" cried Electra.  "And surely you want him back?  You dated him for a while, right?  Don't you miss him?"

"I don't like him, I don't miss him, and I sure as hell don't want him back," said Victoria in the same uninterested tone.  "Everlasting cat, we were awful together!  How can you even suggest it?"

"But you BELONG together!" said Electra.  "I mean, he's the black cat and you're the white cat.  Do you think that's a coincidence?"

"He's not all black!" said Victoria indignantly.  "Besides, you can't pair cats because their fur is complementary.  That's immature and juvenile."

"No, it's artistic," shot Electra.  "Something you're obviously not because you're too mature to be creative."

"I'd rather be mature than ridiculous."

"That doesn't make any sense!"

"Just because you're to ignorant to know what it means doesn't mean it doesn't make sense."

"Just because I don't know what it means doesn't mean I can't pound your stupid white fur into the dirt!"

"Just because you're stupid and juvenile doesn't mean you should  beat me up!"

"Oh yeah?  Says who?"

"Says me, you dimwit!"

"QUIET!" yelled Etcetera.  "You are BOTH immature and juvenile!  Leccy, let's go.  We got Mungojerrie to write Teazer a letter, so it doesn't matter.  It'll just end up that Teazer breaks Misto's heart instead of it being a mutual thing."

"Wait a minute!" cried Victoria anxiously.  "How DARE you try to break my wee lil' Misto-poo's heart!  How dare you!"

"His heart won't be broken if you write him a letter telling him you still love him and you want him to break up with Teazer and get back with you," said Electra, smiling slyly.

Victoria huffed.  "Alright, fine, I'll do it," she grumbled.

"Great," said Electra, grinning.  "Get that letter to us as soon as you can, m'kay?"

"Whatever," said Victoria, slinking away.

Electra's grin of happiness slipped into a mischievous one.  "Good save, Etcy.  I was worried for a minute that she wouldn't do it."

Etcetera smiled humbly.  "No big deal."

Electra continued to grin.  "I feel a musical number coming on…!"

Etcetera's smile faded and she rolled her eyed.  "Leccy, please no…"

"It takes one… to begin, but then once you've begun… it takes two of you…"

Electra's voice and Etcetera's shrieks of amusement and annoyance faded off into the distance as the two kittens ran around the Junkyard energetically, completely unaware that their every move was being observed by a certain Jellicle who was not amused at all.

*~*

Author's Note: Dun dun dun!

-jemi gr