Answers
"I don't believe it."
"Hi honey, I'm home." Although it was just the sort of expression you expect from him, his words didn't have their usual energy, his voice was laboured and taut with fatigue. Max finally began to breath again, taking in air in gasps as her eyes sparkled with unshed tears.
"Alec?" she whispered drawing his eyes towards her. They seemed to glaze as if he were in a daze and he didn't move. The spark in the depths of his hazel orbs was all she needed to see. In the next second she was rushing down the stairs to pull him to her in a tight embrace and he responded tentatively wrapping himself around her. As she held him it seemed her hands still needed convincing he was really there, as they explored him, grabbing at his shoulders, neck and back. She pulled back a little way still running her hands over him, over his neck, across his stubbled face and into his hair. She was oblivious to the stream of joyful tears that ran unchecked down her face. He was dirty, unshaven, pale and as thin as she'd ever seen him but his smiling eyes danced with a life so intense it was as if she'd awoken hope within a lost soul or a fallen angel.
"Max..." He said it so quietly he wasn't sure if she'd heard it or if he had in fact said it out loud. She was now half laughing, half sobbing as she hugged him again. It was then that something caught her eye. Still holding him she looked apprehensively at her fingers that were now covered in a sticky mass of clotting blood. Suddenly the last five minutes rushed through her mind and she was able to pick out details she'd overlooked before, blinded by overwhelming relief and happiness. The way he'd stumbled in, his unsteady almost painful rise, the way he purposefully kept most of his weight on his right leg. Before she could say or do a thing the moment was broken by Biggs who'd just burst through the doors behind them closely followed by Speed and Cali. Alec instantly disengaged himself from Max.
"You made it? Did everyone get out? How much did we lose? Are you okay? What happened with the...?" The questions started to flow out of Alec as he rambled on. Biggs just laughed as he stole a glance back at his equally ecstatic friends. Approaching his former CO Biggs saluted him before hugging his best friend.
"You bastard!" he laughed and Alec quirked a baffled smile back at him. Speed placed a hand on his shoulder taking pity on him.
"We all made it, all of us, thanks to you." Alec choked in disbelief on his own laugh, Speed scuffed Alec's hair as Cali ran under his arm to hug him and the rest of the room finally recovering from the shock began to approach. Mole stepped up behind the group.
"Looks like you finally made good." Then the flood gates opened and the once stunned silence filled with cheers and chatter as the populace celebrated his return. Max had stepped out of the crowd that was now consuming Alec to compose herself. She was worried so she called the infirmary and asked them to prepare for him. Looking back over the crowd, it seemed no one else had really noticed and Alec was now trying harder to cover it. He had a strong sense of self-preservation and pride, she knew he'd want to appear strong, be the tough-guy, especially now with everyone so openly showing their admiration and respect. She knew him that well, a thought that surprised her. Carefully she slipped back into the crowd and back to his side, trying not to draw attention to herself. She surveyed him a moment before slipping to his left she hugged him again silently giving him support so he could lean his weight on her and not his leg. Alec placed an arm around her taking her offer with a relieved sigh.
"Hey, come down to the bar with us," Biggs beckoned, and Max felt Alec tense.
"Give a guy a chance I only just got here, and I'm pretty smelly," Alec sniffed at his shirt for effect
"Besides, I need a report." Max chimed in but not as casually as she'd intended. It seemed just then Biggs was beginning to clock on to what was going on. He felt terrible that he'd overlooked it before, Alec was practically swaying in Max's arms. The fact that he was alive had been the only important thing then. He looked pointedly at Max and Alec.
"Well that I want to hear. Hey, drinks are on me, we'll see you all there in a bit." With that the three left and the rest either set back to work or headed for TC's best bar.
"You alright?" Biggs asked taking Alec under the other arm when they were out of sight. Alec squeezed his eyes shut as he began to lose the battle against the pain.
"I'm fine, just a bit of leg trouble that's all." Max and Biggs exchanged concerned looks
"And looks of pity like those are exactly why I didn't want to announce it to everyone." He growled
Max's giddy happiness had been put on hold when she realised the ordeal wasn't quite over yet and she had this horrible feeling that a bad leg was the least of his troubles right now. Reaching the infirmary at last, a group of medics were waiting to take him and he was ushered into a prepared examination room. Having only just got him back safe but not entirely sound, Max was a little reluctant to let him go. He however, didn't want either of them in with him, heightening their fears about what exactly he was trying to hide or worse protect them from. As Manticore soldiers, with everything they'd done and seen, it was hard to shock or horrify them anymore. This whole situation was rubbing her up the wrong way. She paced impatiently up and down outside his room, Biggs watched her.
"Would you stop that, you're going to wear a whole in the floor."
"I can't take this, I have to know!" she growled in frustration. Her thoughts tortured her with images of every horrible possibility that her twisted mind could concoct. Her patience wore out, she grabbed the handle and opened the door.
"Max!" Biggs' eyes widened at her obvious disregard for Alec's orders as they had seemed at the time. She gasped and came to an abrupt stop as she was met on the other side by the sight of his battered body. The medic was in the process of removing bloodied shreds of material used as a makeshift bandage from his upper body that revealed a still healing gunshot wound to match the one in his leg. The once beautiful golden plains of his back were marred by gashes, bruises and dark swells that looked alarmingly like electrical burns. Alec's head snapped round having heard her enter. He blanked, watching through guarded eyes as she covered her mouth to suppress her shock and quickly exited closing the door behind her. There would be no hiding it now, perhaps he'd been foolish to think that he could in the first place. Biggs stepped up beside her disturbed by her sudden shakey return.
"What's wrong?" Max just shook her head and tried desperately to breath. "It's that bad?" Max said nothing as she leaned against the wall for support. "...I'm gonna go to the bar."
"What are you going to tell them?" Max didn't meet his gaze
"The truth. It has to be done." Max nodded "Max..."
She could see she was worrying him. She could well be jumping the gun here and she selfishly had thought only of her own pain and anxiety. She smiled the best reassuring smile she could muster.
"It's fine, just a bit of a shock to actually see."
Some time later the medic emerged and smiled at her gently, pleased she hadn't gone far. Max stopped wringing her hands and looked up into the expectant face of the medic.
"He's all yours." He told her softly before walking away to wash up. Max stared at the door handle for a moment. She had so much to ask him and just as much to tell him. She was lost and confused and the only one who could set things straight was behind that door waiting for her. She took a deep breath and went in.
Alec was just slipping his T-shirt back on when he heard her open and close the door. They stood staring at each other in silence for sometime. Was she angry? He couldn't read her expression, it seemed almost frightened and anxious. He sighed
"So you saw." Alec stated rather than asked, Max just nodded. "Look it's no big deal..."
"Why were you trying to hide it?" Alec turned away
"Because."
"Because what Alec? What happened?" Alec stilled at the other end of the room facing away from her so she couldn't see his face. He didn't what to relive it in all its horrific detail. Damn his photographic memory. Max sensed his struggle, he was trying to hide away and forget.
"Alec..." Max took a tentative step towards him.
"It was ... nothing much."
"Nothing much?! You've been missing for almost 13 days and come back bruised, beaten and looking like death because Nothing Much Happened!?!" Alec leaned his head against the wall and closed his eyes, assaulted once again by memories of the last couple of weeks.
"Don't even go there Max." Alec turned to her his eyes masked. "So What...? You feel sorry for me? If you knew the things I'd done you wouldn't ... you wouldn't even look at me." Alec's hard tone faltered and faded as he finished speaking and his eyes dropped to the floor.
"I know you killed Fife." Alec's head shot up a look of shock on his face, "You did what you had to do..."
"I lost control!!" He shouted slamming a fist into the wall "He was just like me Max, like any of us, confused, desperate, betrayed and he was just a kid, he could have been saved. If he deserved to die then I deserved to have my head explode."
"Alec they are completely different situations, he had no remorse but you did, I saw it then and I see it now." Max spoke softly as she reached out to him. The instant her hand touched his cheek his mask fell away revealing to her his vulnerability. Max took the opportunity to close the distance between them and hugged him tightly. Alec immediately responded burying his face into the crook of her neck.
"I'm sorry." he whispered, Max pulled away slightly an anguished look upon her face.
"No, I'm sorry, all that time you were out there ... hurt," Max gently fingered the part of his bandaging she could see under his tee, "and I did nothing." Max felt tears welling up in her eyes again.
"There's no way you could have known. I made sure of that." She looked into his stormy hazel eyes, they were sincere, there was no hate there, only trust. Max smiled running her fingers along his bar-code.
"I missed you."
"I missed you too." Alec didn't want to move. He was exhausted, for so long his goal had been to get home and it had taken almost everything out of him in the end. Five months away from her had been a lot harder for him than he'd imagined it to be. He'd half hoped it would squash his feelings for her, but if anything it only fortified them. Now with Max so close and brushing her fingers across his skin, his heart sang.
"You need a shave." she laughed stroking his bristly face.
"Hey! I thought you liked the unshaven look, you never tell Logan to have a shave." Alec protested pouting in a mock expression of hurt. Max suddenly went quiet and serious.
"Logan's gone." Her voice was level as she watched for his reaction.
"Because of the unshaven thing?! Shit, I really should go shave."
"No!" Max tried to look annoyed but she really didn't mind if it brought him back to himself. "He's gone to restart Eye's Only out by the Canadian boarder. He left a little after you disappeared."
"You alright?"
Max nodded "I am actually, I really am." Alec was rubbing her back soothingly and she sighed happily. Here he was bruised and broken yet he still felt he should comfort her. Alec continued to rub her back slowly his whole manner personifying uncertainty. As he looked into her soulful brown eyes could swear he saw something swimming in their depths, calling out to him, making him question every gesture, caress, and caring word. It was all new coming from her, not that he was complaining, but what happened while he was away? why the change? Max was surprised by the boldness of her own actions still standing in his arms, still holding him. Compared to that day over five months ago when she'd awkwardly said goodbye, this was in a league of its own. Alec leaned his forehead against hers and closed his eyes. His head was spinning.
"What's happening?" Alec's breath tickled her heated skin making her shudder.
"I'm...I..I want to tell you...Alec...Alec?" Max looked at him, his eyes were closed and he was swaying dangerously. She gasped as he collapsed, she only just managed to catch hold of him and she pulled him gently on to the bed. The exhaustion and blood loss must have been worse than even he suspected. She arranged his unconscious form into a more comfortable position, while she checked his vitals.
A/N: see I promised more Alec. R&R, let me know how I'm doing. Pleeeease. xxx.