Granted
The sounds of something clattering in the next room roused Max from her sleep. She blinked to clear the sleep from her eyes and looked around trying to establish her whereabouts. She wasn't in her bed or her room, here it smelt unnervingly aseptic. She'd fallen asleep watching over Alec in the last few hours having spent most of the night letting her anxiety burning a hole in her stomach. She had kept herself busy by talking to his unconscious form while transfusing him, and changing the glucose bag by his IV to give his body the energy it needed to heal itself. It seems that he hadn't eaten properly in sometime. Max would make sure that mess-hall was his first port of call when he finally came to. Judging by the steadiness of his breathing he was still asleep. She raised herself from the chair she'd slept in and checked him over. The darkness around his eyes had faded and some of the colour had returned to his pale features. All of which gave Max confidence that she truly did have him back. Max took the opportunity to gaze fondly and openly at him. He looked so innocent in his sleep. She sighed knowing that she had to get back to work, but just as she was getting up to leave she was gripped by the urge to kiss him. So very carefully she leaned over so as not to wake him. Closing her eyes she placed a tender sweet kiss on his full lips. When she finally opened her eyes she froze, startled by the pair of wide hazel eyes staring back at her. Panic set in and she blushed furiously at having been caught. Their position was compromising at the very least Max was sat on the edge of the bed leaning over with her hands on either side of his head, their faces inches apart.
"How are you feeling?" She asked hoping to distract him from ripping her to pieces for what she had just done. Alec said nothing but continued to blink up at her, "I was just going to head back to HQ...do some work.." Her voice faded into something that sounded hazy and dreamy even to her ears. She was slowly losing herself in his eyes, she forgot she was supposed to be escaping if not evading this situation. All her confidence fled from her as he looked up at her confused and disorientated. Could she get into this now? Maybe it would be better to feel out the situation first, make sure it was safe.
"Looks like you're healing up ok." Max's head snapped round at the unexpected addition made by the on duty medic, head medic Vitae. Max jumped away from Alec awkwardly at the knowing look plastered all across the medics face. He stood a moment longer at the door before going to make a more thorough check of his patients status. Max feeling embarrassed busied herself by pulling her boots back on.
"How do you feel?" Alec groan was breathy as he raised himself into a sitting position to allow Vitae a better look before he looked himself over and stretched out carefully.
"Not too bad actually," He seemed surprised and went to take a peek at his bandaged wound but the medic slapped his hand away."That would be the painkillers. Looks like your bodies beginning to do the trick, must have been the blood loss stopping it from healing up like it should." He removed the IV from Alec's arm and began to pack it away. "I don't think you'll be needing another transfusion. But you're going to have to stay in bed for now, I don't want you putting any weight on that leg until there's no danger of it reopening." Alec groaned and rolled his eyes."Come on Doc. I'm starving and I know you don't do meals-on-wheels. What am I supposed to do?" The head medic laughed and looked at the now sheepish Max at the other end of the room."Sounds like a request to me." He told her before leaving. Max looked up and locked eyes with Alec who smirked and scratched the back of his neck in that endearing way he always did to diffuse tension. Max relaxed and sauntered over to him."You hungry?" As he smiled up eagerly at her she was secretly glad that the intrusion had removed the previous incident from his mind at least for the time being. Last night she had been ready to spill, lay it all on the line for him. But now her courage wavered. Surely he'd laugh in her face, explain to her that she couldn't possibly be in love with someone who is not there just because they aren't there. How could she explain why her feelings had changed?"I'll see what I can get." She smiled making a move to leave."What I don't get a choice? no special menu?" Max rolled her eyes and left for the mess-hall.
Outside Max slapped her forehead in frustration with herself. She'd done it again, she had run away. When would she learn, she berated herself as she walked off out of the infirmary. She had a problem with taking things for granted it seemed. With Logan she thought she had time and she took it. Feeling out the situation keeping herself safe, always with one foot out the door just in case. She'd been the same with Alec, taking anything she wanted from him, using him, taking him for granted, thinking she'd always be able to make it up to him eventually, because he'd always be there. She'd kept him at arms length so she could take her time to decide where he fit into her life. Always one foot out the door just in case. Trying to stay safe, trying to keep her heart safe. It was the only part of her genetically perfect package that wasn't specially fortified. She took enough risks in life knowing that her abilities would get her out of whatever tight spot she might get into. But emotionally there was no safety net, no enhanced biological system to protect her or mend her. It was obvious now that her own devised system was keeping her alone. The moment he disappeared her whole system went out of the window. The fucked up game she played to keep from getting hurt had backfired in a big way. It was like suddenly he was right there in her face, in her every move, in her every thought and she just couldn't hide away, or push him out. Suddenly there was no one to be angry at and she could only blame herself. But the powers that be had given her a second chance this time. There he was alive, with every memory in tact, and without a genetically engineered retro-virus to worry about all she had to do was take that risk.
She was not two steps in the door when she had the entire rooms attention, but she was too deep in her own thoughts to notice until she was approached.
"Planning on working today?" Mole said with his usual affectionately harsh sarcasm. Max looked up and cracked a smile.
She arrived back at the infirmary a little while later. Looking in through the open door of his room to find him still sitting but with his eyes closed. He really did look better but not such a far cry from the ghostly form she'd welcomed home yesterday.
Quietly she approached him placing the paper bag on the side table. He seemed to have fallen asleep again. Carefully she reached down and pulled his blanket up over him. Then she reached up maybe to help him lay down but he snapped into life grabbing her arm by the wrist and his other hand launched itself at her throat. Max was stunned and stared in horror at the darkness in his eyes but it didn't last long. Coming to his senses he let her go shaking to clear his head of the nightmare that had taken hold of him.
"Sorry Max, didn't hear you come in." He rubbed at his eyes, he really was tired but he was afraid to sleep the events of the last week were enough to fuel his nightmares for many years to come.
He glanced at Max she looked worried, then he spied the paper bag to his right. "That for me?" he asked smiling in anticipation. Max was startled by the quick changes in the man before her, from easy to dark to distressed to distraction and back again. She'd seen it before during the whole Berrisford episode. He was dealing with his demons.
"Yep. " Max snatched the bag out of his reach and sat herself cross-legged on the end of his bed grinning mischievously. Maybe she could do for him what he so often did for her in her darker moments, she could make him smile. "Guess what was on the breakfast menu this morning." Alec grinning. He narrowed his eyes and rubbed his chin in thought."hmm, I wonder ... bacon, eggs and sausages with a side helping of fried bread.""In your dreams." Max scoffed"I know, I know but lets pretend that its not just porridge, dried fruits and spam.""Aha, that's where you're wrong, its porridge, dried fruits and pop-tarts." Alec's eyes widened comically. He snatched the bag eagerly taking out a pop-tart and easily dismissing the rest. Max just watched and laughed. Taking a bite of jammy-doughy goodness he closed his eyes in mouth watering pleasure and moaned happily. He began to chew it slowly, despite his ravenous appetite he wanted to enjoy this before the rest of the stuff was forced on him. He swallowed and looked back at Max who was watching with a satisfied smile on her face."Mmmm, I love you Max. " He said through the mush in his mouth as he took another bite. Although the comment was meant as a thank you it struck a nerve in Max and she sobered significantly feeling somehow disappointed. Of course she'd like to here those words from him but not because of a Pop-tart!! Maybe it was a sign, maybe this was her chance to tell him. The boy was unbelievable, so happy over a piece of confectionery, apparently he didn't take things for granted, he savoured them."Max?" Alec snapped his fingers at her bringing her back from her thoughts. "You alright?"
"I was just thinking I haven't told you what's been happening while you were away."
"Back to business already?"
"Not exactly ..." The softness in her voice caught his attention and he quirked an eyebrow at her
"I've, uh, been living in your place ... It's closer to HQ than my place and smaller, I'm not really used to living alone. Do you mind having a roommate?" She asked hopefully.
"Are you kidding!? an apartment full of lady's underwear, it'll be heaven." He grinned at the evils Max sent in his direction."You're unbelievable, you know that.""Aww, come on Max you know you love me really." He blinked his thick lashes at her trying his best to look sweet and innocent, but on him it only looked devious and sexy. Max bit her lip, now she really was going to let him have it."You're right, I do."A/N: You all hate me don't you?