I flipped apathetically through the TV. "God, what a waste of wires..." I
muttered.
Yami came in and slide onto the couch next to me. "Cutting class?" he asked amused.
"Yeah, what's it to you?"
"Why don't you just drop out?"
"I think I will."
"I didn't mean..."
"Look, why do I even bother going? I'm selling my company, I'm leaving school. I just...I don't want to do any of that anymore."
"You want to drop off the face of the earth."
"And why not?"
"Just commit suicide," he muttered.
"You'd like that, huh?"
"I want to duel you. Right now."
"Go to hell."
"I'm serious, Kaiba."
"I don't want to," I muttered.
"Finally ready to admit I'm better?"
"Yup."
"Kaiba!"
"Yami!" I mocked. "Look, all that stuff? School, Kaiba Corp., dueling? It takes some degree to passion. I really have no passion right now."
"So does life."
"Or else what? I'm just an animal? I'm a wanna be god?"
"You said it, not me."
"No! Yugi and Jounochi did!"
"Since when do their opinions matter?"
"Jounochi's gay, isn't he?"
"Where'd that come from?"
"Is he?"
Yami sighed. "I really think you need to ask someone else that. It's not my place."
"Then tell me why you and Yugi 'didn't work out' and what that even means."
"I can't room with him."
"Why not?"
"Because..." he sighed, running his hand through his bangs. "You know Kaiba? You're the closest I've ever had to a friend. You're like...something else completely. Something different from...everyone."
"And where'd that come from?" I reiterated.
"Me and Yugi 'didn't work out' because he loves Jounochi," he said softly.
"And?"
"And Jounochi doesn't know. But...either way, that doesn't matter."
"Then what?" I asked, my voice beginning to get an edge to it.
"He got mad at me. Because he thinks...Jounochi and I...are more than just...we're not even friends, you know."
"Wait. Jealousy?"
"It started out as jealousy. I 'took' Anzu from him and now I'm 'taking' Jounochi from him or something. Yugi and I's relationship is less than...ideal as of right now."
"And Jounochi?"
"Dating Otogi," he muttered.
"Wait, what?"
"Jounochi is...bisexual, I believe the term is."
"Does Yugi know?"
"Jounochi thinks Yugi would flip out because he 'chases both skirts' as he so etiquettly phrased it. But it's not my place to tell him Yugi's bisexual, also."
"And Otogi?"
"Otogi is...gay..." he said the word unsurely. "But not in love with Jounochi. He's using him for...sex..."
"What?! Why the hell would that mutt let him do that?"
"He doesn't know," Yami said softly.
"Good lord... I thought he was at least a little bit smarter than that."
"Why should you care, Kaiba? It's you he's in love with."
"What?!"
"I know. I wouldn't understand why, either."
"How do you know?"
"Bakura told me. He...used the Millennium Eye."
"And he just told you?"
"Marik got him drunk," he explained. "Then we took turns interrogating him."
"Very...interesting...I...are you and Bakura...?"
Yami blushed, but tried to hide it. "N-not really."
"Not really?"
"We're...working on it..."
I cleared my throat. "One word: why?"
He shrugged. "Marik says we argue like a married couple anyway. And because him and Marik broke up..."
"Who isn't gay...or bi?"
"Um...Honda...Anzu...you..."
"Me? Can you be so sure?"
"You're too busy to be either. Or were..."
"What if I am gay?"
"Then welcome to the tangled web."
"And if I'm not?"
He sighed. "Either way, Kaiba. You're a jerk. Jounochi's 'like' is merely physical."
"Physical?"
"An ice cube is warmer to him."
"He said I think I'm a god. And that some people...believe me..."
"You are a god, Kaiba. You're everything he wants to be. He hates it and would never admit it. But it's true."
"I never said I liked him."
"I know. The only people worth noticing have someone you want. You couldn't care less about Honda or Anzu or Bakura or Ryou or Duke. You don't care. Me? I can beat you in Duel Monsters. Yugi...who couldn't notice Yugi? Marik had a god card. But what is it about Jounochi that makes you notice him? Is it just fun to throw yourself around at him? Because you need his reaction? You needed...him to notice you?"
"I couldn't care less about that dog."
"Is that really what you tell yourself?"
"For your information, Yami, I--"
"What? You what? What is it that you really want to say?"
"I..."
"What, Kaiba?" he demanded.
"I..."
Just then, the door opened. Yugi and Jounochi came in, talking to each other.
"Nothing," I said bitterly. "Nothing you fucking faggot!" Yugi and Jounochi stopped cold in their tracks. "I hate you! I hate you all!" I fell to my knees, clutching at my hair. "You're just a fucking faggot!" I screamed.
"And so are you!" he screamed back. "But no! You had to be perfect! That's what it is, Kaiba! You had to be perfect for Mokuba. That's why you never dropped out or sold your company. And that's why you had to win. Mokuba looked up at you and you had to be perfect. You couldn't date, could you? Not because of Kaiba Corp., but because you were *scared*! But he's not here anymore, is he? And you feel strangely relieved, right? But now you don't have control over anything anymore. You're a faggot and you couldn't tell your brother." He stood me up by a fist full of my hair. He stared me into the eyes. "You created an illusion. For him. Where's the illusion, Kaiba? Seto Kaiba? Who's Kaiba without his brother? He's just poor, scared little Seto."
Tears fell down my cheeks as I stared into his cold violet eyes. "Why are you doing this to me?"
Yami folded me into a hug. "To let you know it's okay. You're human, Kaiba. It's okay that you're not perfect."
"I hate you all," I mumbled.
Yami chuckled to himself. "Why would you say something like that?"
"Maybe `cuz ya just insulted him, Yami." Jounochi was giving me a half smile.
"Why don't you sit down?" Yugi murmured, taking my hand and pulling me to the couch.
I broke my grasp with him. "I need to...go think about a few things, that's all," I said distractedly, walking away from them. "I'll be back before...sundown..." I muttered.
~~~ I wondered to my mansion. I stood looking at the gated fortress from across the street. People paid little attention to me, I having looked very different from my usual appearance. Gone was my trench coat. I wrapped my arms around me, suddenly cold without it. My hair was less than perfect. I sighed, pushing past a few strands that were in my eyes.
I felt an arm wrap around me. "It looks lonely," they spoke softly. I turned to look at Jounochi. "*You* look lonely," he said gently.
"What are you doing, Jounochi?"
"I was on my way home and I saw you. I couldn't just leave you out here."
"Why, because I'm good looking?" I asked bitterly.
Jou tensed at that. "It has nothing to do with your looks, Kaiba. And it certainly doesn't have to do with...that I... Just stop it. It's called compassion. You see another human being in so much pain that you feel it too and all you want to do is help take some of it away. I can't believe you!" he nearly shouted. He stepped away from me, shaking his head. "Why are you such a jerk?"
"My brother is *dead.* He is ALL I've EVER had, you stupid mutt!"
"That doesn't give you the right to make everyone *HATE* being around you!"
"Yugi doesn't!" I screamed. "Why do you care if I like you? Why, Jounochi?!"
"Because I like you!" he screamed. "I always have! But no matter what I did, you were always this big jerk to me! But we...have so much in common... Please, Kaiba, just--"
"Jounochi. Stop it. You're acting like a girl. Even if we're both...gay...don't think I'm automatically drawn to you. I don't see why you would even get that idea." Jounochi began walking away from me, a stricken look on his face. "Jounochi," I began, "don't do--"
"Just leave me alone!" he screamed, running, now, blindly.
And then compassion got me.
I began chasing after him, but I don't think he noticed. I followed him to a run-down apartment complex, where he took the stairs two at a time, running far ahead of me. He flung the door open and went inside.
I had just reached the door and was about to knock when I heard the sickest sound.
A body was being thrown against the wall.
Jounochi's body.
Through the paper-thin walls, I heard the sound of flesh hitting flesh and random curses and Jounochi's mixed moaning and cries. Then I heard Jounochi scream, "Oh god no, Dad, please!"
I bolted.
What do you expect me to do?
Play god?
~~~
Yami came in and slide onto the couch next to me. "Cutting class?" he asked amused.
"Yeah, what's it to you?"
"Why don't you just drop out?"
"I think I will."
"I didn't mean..."
"Look, why do I even bother going? I'm selling my company, I'm leaving school. I just...I don't want to do any of that anymore."
"You want to drop off the face of the earth."
"And why not?"
"Just commit suicide," he muttered.
"You'd like that, huh?"
"I want to duel you. Right now."
"Go to hell."
"I'm serious, Kaiba."
"I don't want to," I muttered.
"Finally ready to admit I'm better?"
"Yup."
"Kaiba!"
"Yami!" I mocked. "Look, all that stuff? School, Kaiba Corp., dueling? It takes some degree to passion. I really have no passion right now."
"So does life."
"Or else what? I'm just an animal? I'm a wanna be god?"
"You said it, not me."
"No! Yugi and Jounochi did!"
"Since when do their opinions matter?"
"Jounochi's gay, isn't he?"
"Where'd that come from?"
"Is he?"
Yami sighed. "I really think you need to ask someone else that. It's not my place."
"Then tell me why you and Yugi 'didn't work out' and what that even means."
"I can't room with him."
"Why not?"
"Because..." he sighed, running his hand through his bangs. "You know Kaiba? You're the closest I've ever had to a friend. You're like...something else completely. Something different from...everyone."
"And where'd that come from?" I reiterated.
"Me and Yugi 'didn't work out' because he loves Jounochi," he said softly.
"And?"
"And Jounochi doesn't know. But...either way, that doesn't matter."
"Then what?" I asked, my voice beginning to get an edge to it.
"He got mad at me. Because he thinks...Jounochi and I...are more than just...we're not even friends, you know."
"Wait. Jealousy?"
"It started out as jealousy. I 'took' Anzu from him and now I'm 'taking' Jounochi from him or something. Yugi and I's relationship is less than...ideal as of right now."
"And Jounochi?"
"Dating Otogi," he muttered.
"Wait, what?"
"Jounochi is...bisexual, I believe the term is."
"Does Yugi know?"
"Jounochi thinks Yugi would flip out because he 'chases both skirts' as he so etiquettly phrased it. But it's not my place to tell him Yugi's bisexual, also."
"And Otogi?"
"Otogi is...gay..." he said the word unsurely. "But not in love with Jounochi. He's using him for...sex..."
"What?! Why the hell would that mutt let him do that?"
"He doesn't know," Yami said softly.
"Good lord... I thought he was at least a little bit smarter than that."
"Why should you care, Kaiba? It's you he's in love with."
"What?!"
"I know. I wouldn't understand why, either."
"How do you know?"
"Bakura told me. He...used the Millennium Eye."
"And he just told you?"
"Marik got him drunk," he explained. "Then we took turns interrogating him."
"Very...interesting...I...are you and Bakura...?"
Yami blushed, but tried to hide it. "N-not really."
"Not really?"
"We're...working on it..."
I cleared my throat. "One word: why?"
He shrugged. "Marik says we argue like a married couple anyway. And because him and Marik broke up..."
"Who isn't gay...or bi?"
"Um...Honda...Anzu...you..."
"Me? Can you be so sure?"
"You're too busy to be either. Or were..."
"What if I am gay?"
"Then welcome to the tangled web."
"And if I'm not?"
He sighed. "Either way, Kaiba. You're a jerk. Jounochi's 'like' is merely physical."
"Physical?"
"An ice cube is warmer to him."
"He said I think I'm a god. And that some people...believe me..."
"You are a god, Kaiba. You're everything he wants to be. He hates it and would never admit it. But it's true."
"I never said I liked him."
"I know. The only people worth noticing have someone you want. You couldn't care less about Honda or Anzu or Bakura or Ryou or Duke. You don't care. Me? I can beat you in Duel Monsters. Yugi...who couldn't notice Yugi? Marik had a god card. But what is it about Jounochi that makes you notice him? Is it just fun to throw yourself around at him? Because you need his reaction? You needed...him to notice you?"
"I couldn't care less about that dog."
"Is that really what you tell yourself?"
"For your information, Yami, I--"
"What? You what? What is it that you really want to say?"
"I..."
"What, Kaiba?" he demanded.
"I..."
Just then, the door opened. Yugi and Jounochi came in, talking to each other.
"Nothing," I said bitterly. "Nothing you fucking faggot!" Yugi and Jounochi stopped cold in their tracks. "I hate you! I hate you all!" I fell to my knees, clutching at my hair. "You're just a fucking faggot!" I screamed.
"And so are you!" he screamed back. "But no! You had to be perfect! That's what it is, Kaiba! You had to be perfect for Mokuba. That's why you never dropped out or sold your company. And that's why you had to win. Mokuba looked up at you and you had to be perfect. You couldn't date, could you? Not because of Kaiba Corp., but because you were *scared*! But he's not here anymore, is he? And you feel strangely relieved, right? But now you don't have control over anything anymore. You're a faggot and you couldn't tell your brother." He stood me up by a fist full of my hair. He stared me into the eyes. "You created an illusion. For him. Where's the illusion, Kaiba? Seto Kaiba? Who's Kaiba without his brother? He's just poor, scared little Seto."
Tears fell down my cheeks as I stared into his cold violet eyes. "Why are you doing this to me?"
Yami folded me into a hug. "To let you know it's okay. You're human, Kaiba. It's okay that you're not perfect."
"I hate you all," I mumbled.
Yami chuckled to himself. "Why would you say something like that?"
"Maybe `cuz ya just insulted him, Yami." Jounochi was giving me a half smile.
"Why don't you sit down?" Yugi murmured, taking my hand and pulling me to the couch.
I broke my grasp with him. "I need to...go think about a few things, that's all," I said distractedly, walking away from them. "I'll be back before...sundown..." I muttered.
~~~ I wondered to my mansion. I stood looking at the gated fortress from across the street. People paid little attention to me, I having looked very different from my usual appearance. Gone was my trench coat. I wrapped my arms around me, suddenly cold without it. My hair was less than perfect. I sighed, pushing past a few strands that were in my eyes.
I felt an arm wrap around me. "It looks lonely," they spoke softly. I turned to look at Jounochi. "*You* look lonely," he said gently.
"What are you doing, Jounochi?"
"I was on my way home and I saw you. I couldn't just leave you out here."
"Why, because I'm good looking?" I asked bitterly.
Jou tensed at that. "It has nothing to do with your looks, Kaiba. And it certainly doesn't have to do with...that I... Just stop it. It's called compassion. You see another human being in so much pain that you feel it too and all you want to do is help take some of it away. I can't believe you!" he nearly shouted. He stepped away from me, shaking his head. "Why are you such a jerk?"
"My brother is *dead.* He is ALL I've EVER had, you stupid mutt!"
"That doesn't give you the right to make everyone *HATE* being around you!"
"Yugi doesn't!" I screamed. "Why do you care if I like you? Why, Jounochi?!"
"Because I like you!" he screamed. "I always have! But no matter what I did, you were always this big jerk to me! But we...have so much in common... Please, Kaiba, just--"
"Jounochi. Stop it. You're acting like a girl. Even if we're both...gay...don't think I'm automatically drawn to you. I don't see why you would even get that idea." Jounochi began walking away from me, a stricken look on his face. "Jounochi," I began, "don't do--"
"Just leave me alone!" he screamed, running, now, blindly.
And then compassion got me.
I began chasing after him, but I don't think he noticed. I followed him to a run-down apartment complex, where he took the stairs two at a time, running far ahead of me. He flung the door open and went inside.
I had just reached the door and was about to knock when I heard the sickest sound.
A body was being thrown against the wall.
Jounochi's body.
Through the paper-thin walls, I heard the sound of flesh hitting flesh and random curses and Jounochi's mixed moaning and cries. Then I heard Jounochi scream, "Oh god no, Dad, please!"
I bolted.
What do you expect me to do?
Play god?
~~~