Everything was tender, gentle, soft...

Everything was passion.

It felt like we were making love.

I gasped, sitting up.

He looked up at me, alarmed. "Are you okay?"

"Fine, fine..." I sat up, beginning to breathe strangely. "I don't wanna have sex."

He sat up, trying to wrap his arms around me. "It's okay."

"No, no...I don't want to have sex."

"I understand." He turned me to look at him. He gently stroked my cheek. "It's okay," he said gently. "It's okay," he whispered, drawing me into another kiss.

We kissed for awhile longer. He even gave me a small, pale hickey on my neck. He was pulling on his shirt, smiling at me, when I whispered, "Please don't tell anyone about the scars, Jounochi."

He smiled sadly, "I promise."

"I promise not to tell anyone about the bruises."

He smiled, taking me by the hand and leading me out to the living room.

We stretched out over the couch, watching a movie on TV, in each other's arms. His hand trailed over my stomach a bit, under my untucked shirt, making random swirly patterns and feeling really good. His breath went over my neck and on the forming hickey, feeling really good, too.

Otogi came in and smiled. "So what have you two been up to?"

"Making out," Jou murmured, engrossed in the movie.

"Have fun, Kaiba?" he asked, stretched out on an easy chair.

"Mmhmm," I murmured, snuggling up against Jounochi some more. He smiled and planted a small kiss on my forehead.

~~~

I was stretched out on the futon in Otogi's room when I awoke, not even sure when I fell asleep. I heard Otogi and Jou's voices from outside the room, murmuring to each other. As I laid there, trying to fall back asleep, their voices becoming something of a lullaby, I heard the sound of a body being pushed against a wall, jolting me awake. It took me a second or two to realize they were making out, making me feel stupid and embarrassed. I was starting to feel protective over the mutt. I sighed a bit, not meaning to think of him as a canine.

The door handle began to turn, then stop, as Jou said, "He's sleeping."

"Yeah, yeah..." Otogi muttered, sounding like he pulled Jou back into the kiss.

"We should probably go to the guest room," Jou's voice filtering in.

"This is my house, Jounochi."

"Please, let him sleep."

"You like him."

"What?"

Sigh.

"What's that suppose to mean? Why are you shaking your head at me like that?"

"You're falling for him. Even harder than before. Why?"

"I don't know what you're talking about. Come on, I'm horny."

I could hear them walking away. I rolled to my side, drawing my legs up. "Falling for me?" I whispered into the night. "Please don't."

~~~

I woke up to a different sort of awakening.

Hands trailing over my face, lightly touching my features. I blinked my eyes open to look up at Otogi. "Urmph..." I mumbled, sitting up sleepily.

"Katsu is making breakfast," Otogi said softly, standing up. "He says you have to get up if you want any."

"Um, yeah, I'll be right there."

Otogi nodded. "Did you have fun, Kaiba?"

"RYUUJI! Where the hell are you?!" Jou's voice came through the apartment.

"Molesting Kaiba! Is breakfast done yet?" Otogi called back.

"Who am I, your maid?!"

I shook my head. "I bet your neighbors love you two."

"And why wouldn't they?" Otogi smiled. "We're two sexy guys who have sex all the time. Most people have to pay to see that kind of stuff."

"Jesus, Otogi, you and I are totally different."

"Oh, and Jou and I aren't?"

"Two bakas addicted to sex. Sounds about the same to me."

"Look, Kaiba, get over yourself. I am a teenager, Jou is a teenager, and *you* are a teenager. Unless you've had your dick chopped off, you're going to be horny. There's nothing wrong--"

"Since when do I have to put up with shit? Thanks for the hospitality, Otogi," I said sarcastically, "but I'm out of here." I stood up and began grabbing my random articles of clothing. I began to storm out of the room at the same time as Jounochi started walking in. He caught me in his arms.

"Kaiba, wait, what's the matter?" He held me close, preventing me from getting past him. "What did you do, Otogi?"

"Let go of me!" I pushed at him. "I'm fucking out of here! Fuck you, fuck him, fuck you all!" I knocked him away from me. "I should have known this was just a way to fuck with me!"

I stomped all the way back to the game shop. By the time I got there, I was more pissed than I had ever been. I slammed the door open, startling a few customers, and stomped my way up to the apartment.

I was shoving my few belongings into my bag when Yugi timidly came in. "Kaiba-chan? Are you okay?"

"Cut the fucking 'chan' bullshit. You don't give a fuck about me, I don't give a fuck about you."

"That isn't true, Kaiba. Please, tell me what's wrong."

I turned to look at him, anger written all over my face. "What's wrong? What's wrong, Yugi? I'm tired of being fucked with by people who claim to care but really couldn't give a rat's ass about me. Who do you people think you are anyway? We're two different people, Yugi, and it's never going to work out with us being friends. And the fact is, I don't need friends. I don't need anybody. I never have." I stood up, ready to leave.

"That's not true, Seto Kaiba."

I whirled around. "Who the hell do you think you are, Yugi?"

"You've always had someone there for you, Kaiba. It's just that now, he's *dead*."

I stared at him, shocked. "You fucking..." I trailed off. My eyes narrowed at him and I sneered at him. No longer did I care for Yugi at all. Just another pathetic excuse for a person. "Don't worry, Yugi. I'll no longer be a pain for you." I turned around and left him there.

~~~

I screamed, throwing the lamp at the wall. "Why did you fucking have to die?!" I screamed at the shattered remains.

I tore at his bed, ripping off the sheets that still smelled like him. "I hate you! Why did you have to be so selfish?! I need you! Why did you leave me?!"

I fell on my knees, sobbing into my folded arms, on the edge of the bed. "Oh god, Mokuba. Why? Why?! WHY?!" I sobbed into my arms, shaking all over.

Half-an-hour later. I had a headache and my throat was raw from screaming. My face was red and wet and my arms had cuts in them from where my nails had dug into the skin and pulled.

I was a mess.

I had always been a mess.

It's just now, you can *see* the mess.

So now wonder why I even answered the gate.

I jabbed my thumb onto the button. "Yeah?" I said in a weak, raspy voice. Groan, that sounds real impressive.

"Hey, Kaiba? It's Jou. Yugi said you left. I wanted to make sure you're okay."

"I'm fine," I said softly. It kind of hurt to talk.

"Can I come in?"

"Why?" I asked weakly.

"`Cause I'm worried and I wanted to talk."

"Just go away, mutt, before I call the dog catchers."

"What did he say?"

"What?" I asked annoyed.

"Ryuuji. He obviously said something to bother you."

"Just forget it, Jou, don't let it bother you. Go have sex with the dice freak and leave me alone."

"Is that what this is about?"

"What?!"

"Are you jealous or something?"

"Oh yeah, real jealous, little golden retriever."

"Fine, you want to be an ass? I can only be nice for so long, Kaiba. I thought you had opened up but I was just wrong. I even liked you, you big asshole!"

"Yeah, whatever."

Suddenly, the other end went dead. I walked over to the window. Glancing out, I shook my head. Jounochi was climbing up the fence. And I had mistakenly given the impression that all my security was fired to all of them.

I met him at the door, arms crossed. When you're confident, it doesn't matter how much of a mess you look.

Or I thought.

"What the hell happened?" he asked, his tone and expression changing from angry to concern. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," I murmured, looking down. The tears were welling back up in my eyes.

When he wrapped his arms around me, I broke. "Oh god, Jounochi..." I sobbed, pulling him close. I cried into his shoulder as he held me close.