I woke up not more than a few minutes later to Jounochi cleaning me up with
a towel from the bathroom. "Hey," he said softly, not meeting my gaze.
"That was awesome," I purred, smiling.
He shrugged, smiling his crooked smile. "Eh, it's just sex. Trust me, next time, we'll be getting down to business a lot faster."
"Next time, hmm? So you were just being nice to me since it was my first time," I teased.
He shook his head, smiling softly, standing up. He wiped the cum from his waist with the towel and walked over to the bathroom, already in his boxers.
I pulled the sheet around my waist and trailed after him. He leaned over the sink, washing his hands, gargling mouthwash.
"Whatcha doing?" I asked softly.
He spit. "Cleaning up. Let's not forget that I had your ass in my mouth." He sucked down some more mouthwash from the bottle.
"Wasn't my idea," I said softly, hugging myself close to him.
I watched him gaze down at my hands wrapped around his front in the mirror. He seemed uncomfortable suddenly. "I should probably go," he said oddly.
"Wait, don't go. Stay," I said softly, resting my cheek on his shoulder.
He tore from me. "You don't get it," he spat at me. "You're not in love with me, and I'm definitely not in love with you. We just used each other to get off and that's it."
"You...you took my virginity," I said, unable to believe what Jou was saying.
"Well I'm sorry," he said sarcastically. "What the fuck do you want from me, Kaiba?"
"To just stay for a few more minutes."
"Well I can't." He walked into my bedroom, pulling on his clothes. "Bye," he muttered, tearing down the hall.
I followed him down the stairs, barley able to keep the sheet on. "Wait! Just...stay for lunch," I practically begged. "Just a quick lunch."
"You're being really pathetic," he mumbled, low enough to where I'm not sure if I was suppose to hear it.
My stomach felt weird, like a knot was forming or something. And tears were beginning to form in my eyes. "I wasn't using you, Jounochi."
"Whatever," he mumbled, stopping, having reached the front door. He reached for the knob, but I grabbed his hand.
"Wait," I said desperately. "Please don't go."
"Get off me," he spat, irritated, jerking his hand from mine. "Leave me alone," he grumbled.
"Please," I whispered, giving up. "Just hold me," I said, closing the distance between us in a hug. "Just for a few minutes." I felt him tense. "Just a few seconds," I sobbed. My stomach felt like it was eating itself as I said that, the tears spilling over.
I tore from him, tightening the sheet around me, running away from him, into another room.
I waited; I waited to hear the door open and slam shut as tears fell down my cheeks.
I heard a sigh instead. "It's just easier for us to hate each other," he called.
"Go away," I ordered, miserably. "Just walk the fuck out like nothing happened."
"I can't do that, Kaiba. Because something *did* happen."
"What? You fell in love with me?" I laughed morbidly. "I can totally tell," I said sarcastically. "Just walk out."
"Why are you doing this?" he moaned. "It was just a fuck. Why don't you get it?"
"Get what? You want to spend the rest of your life as a slut, catering to everyone else's needs?"
There was a long pause. "Just shut up, Kaiba," he said weakly.
"You have more bruises than you had last night. Your father isn't the only who abuses you."
"You don't know what you're talking about," he mumbled. Then he opened the door and left, slamming it weakly behind him.
I slid down the wall, sitting on the ground as I began to cry into my hands.
~~~
I apologized to Yugi.
He excepted my apology and said that at least I went home.
A big step.
And life moved on.
Without seeing Jounochi or Otogi.
Yugi and Yami never asked once about what happened. Which I was thankful for.
The three of us were sitting at a table in a burger joint, talking.
"So this heart of the cards business," I summed up, after listening to the two of them explain it, "is just another word for luck?"
"No!" they said in unison.
"It's about believing in your deck," Yami explained.
"But I believe in my deck," I said, shrugging, "but I don't go on about the heart crap."
"But do you really believe in it?" Yugi asked.
"If I didn't, I wouldn't have used it."
"But it's more than that," Yugi said, sipping at his soda. "It's important to believe, even when you think there's nothing you think you have left to offer in the duel."
"So you're telling me that you two honestly believe in this? That you think that by 'calling' to the 'heart of the cards,' you can change the luck of the draw?"
"Yes," they said in the freaky, twin-like unison.
"Or maybe, you two only call to the heart of the cards when you have nothing left, so any card you draw seems good."
Yami sighed, chewing on his fries.
"Or maybe--"
"Eat your lunch," Yami growled.
"Yami!" Yugi exclaimed.
"Or maybe Yami really can't lose, even if he tried, so he has some god looking over his shoulder that can physically change a card into another."
Yugi giggled and Yami growled.
"Shut up, Kaiba."
"`sides," Yugi said through his giggles, "Yami *did* loose to you, Kaiba."
I tensed. "When I cheated."
"It wasn't really cheating," Yami observed. "There's nothing in the rules that says a CEO can't use his technology against himself in hopes his unbeatable opponent will take pity on him."
I threw a fry at Yami. "Unbeatable my ass! There's *got* to be someone who can beat you."
Yami chewed thoughtfully on his burger. "Nope." He smiled.
"What about Yugi?" I asked.
"What about me?" Yugi asked, looking uncomfortable.
"Well, if I got all this right, you're just Yami reborn, so wouldn't you have the same skill?"
"Skill's something you work at," Yami spoke softly. "I believe I worked my entire short life to get to my skill."
Yugi shrugged. "`sides, to really prove who was better, we'd have to use the exact same deck."
"Possible," I said.
"And rule out 'luck,'" Yami muttered.
"By having someone pre-match-up all the cards in the same order," I said softly, a plan beginning to form.
"Just stop right there!" Yami pointed his "death finger of doom and destruction" at me. "There is no way I will fight a duel with my aibou!"
"Because you're scared of loosing," I joked. Yugi joined me in my laughter.
Yami shook his head. "Honestly, Kaiba."
I took a sip from my soda, and gently placed my hand on Yugi's. Let's just say I had picked up my interest in him again.
Yugi smiled back at me, innocently, not realizing I wanted it to be more than just a "friendly hand holding." Don't even ask.
Yami noticed this. His eyes went from our hands to my eyes. "WATCH YOURSELF," he mouthed.
I lifted my hand up, scratching at the back of my head. "So should we be heading back to the game shop soon?"
Yugi shrugged. "I hardly get out anymore. It sucks being stuck at school all day," he mumbled, shooting Yami a dirty look.
"An education is very important, aibou."
Yugi sighed, rolling his eyes.
"Well, then why don't you and Kaiba enjoy the rest of your Sunday? I'll go back to the Game Shop."
Yugi smiled at Yami charmingly. "Thank you Yami!" he sang happily. He grabbed my hand and pulled me out of the booth. "Come on, Kaiba!"
I followed him after him. "So where are we going?"
"The park," he answered, leading me along.
I smiled, going after him. "So what are we going to do at the park?"
Yugi sighed. "Everything has to be planned out for you, huh?"
"I prefer having an idea of what I'm going to do."
"That's no fun! Have you ever heard of being spontaneous?" Yugi grabbed my hand and led me to a tree. "Do you ever just...relax?"
"Doing absolutely nothing? No, even when I get massages, I'm on the phone."
Yugi sighed. "Well sit down and relax right now!"
I rolled my eyes and leaned against the tree. "Ooo, fun," I kidded.
Yugi shook his head and sat down facing me. "See, this isn't so bad."
I smiled. "It's...peaceful."
Yugi leaned against the tree next to me, laying his head against my arms. "Mmmhmm.."
I turned to him, smiling. "Yugi?" I said softly. I wanted to talk to him about how I felt.
He yawned. "Mmm...sorry. I'm tired."
I changed my mind. "You seem to be staying up later and later."
"School's hard. And Yami won't let me just sit in class, he actually bothers me into paying attention."
"You, Jounochi, and Honda were always the lowest in the class ranking. So what are you having trouble with?"
"Everything," he pouted.
"Then I'll help you with everything."
"Thanks, Kaiba!" he said excitedly, sitting up and looking at me. "That'd be great."
I cupped his face in my hand. I decided to bite the bullet. "Yugi," I said softly. "I really like you. I'd like to get more serious with you."
Yugi looked down at his hands, which were tearing at the grass. "Well, uh..." I let go of his face. "That's nice," he said softly.
"Unless you don't want to," I said softly. God, rejection sucks. Now I remember why I STAYED AWAY FROM PEOPLE!
"It's not you, Kaiba. You're great. I just..."
"Jounochi," I muttered, not even meaning to speak aloud.
"Excuse me?"
I glanced up at him. "You're in love with Jounochi. I shouldn't have even said anything."
"How did you know that?" Yugi asked, looking suspicious.
I bit nervously at my thumbnail. "I could just tell." You know, here I was, upset and depressed over being rejected twice in one month and here I was, explaining--lying--myself to Yugi. "Maybe you should tell him. He seemed to handle my homosexuality alright," I said sort of lamely. Now I was making him feel better. Normally, I'd be standing up and leaving. But I couldn't anymore...
"But I'm his BEST FRIEND, Kaiba. And it's not like you told him you were in love with him."
I looked down. Didn't tell, just insinuated. "I think I better go," I said softly. I stood up. "I'm going home. I need to think about some things."
"Are you okay, Kaiba?"
"Fine."
"That was awesome," I purred, smiling.
He shrugged, smiling his crooked smile. "Eh, it's just sex. Trust me, next time, we'll be getting down to business a lot faster."
"Next time, hmm? So you were just being nice to me since it was my first time," I teased.
He shook his head, smiling softly, standing up. He wiped the cum from his waist with the towel and walked over to the bathroom, already in his boxers.
I pulled the sheet around my waist and trailed after him. He leaned over the sink, washing his hands, gargling mouthwash.
"Whatcha doing?" I asked softly.
He spit. "Cleaning up. Let's not forget that I had your ass in my mouth." He sucked down some more mouthwash from the bottle.
"Wasn't my idea," I said softly, hugging myself close to him.
I watched him gaze down at my hands wrapped around his front in the mirror. He seemed uncomfortable suddenly. "I should probably go," he said oddly.
"Wait, don't go. Stay," I said softly, resting my cheek on his shoulder.
He tore from me. "You don't get it," he spat at me. "You're not in love with me, and I'm definitely not in love with you. We just used each other to get off and that's it."
"You...you took my virginity," I said, unable to believe what Jou was saying.
"Well I'm sorry," he said sarcastically. "What the fuck do you want from me, Kaiba?"
"To just stay for a few more minutes."
"Well I can't." He walked into my bedroom, pulling on his clothes. "Bye," he muttered, tearing down the hall.
I followed him down the stairs, barley able to keep the sheet on. "Wait! Just...stay for lunch," I practically begged. "Just a quick lunch."
"You're being really pathetic," he mumbled, low enough to where I'm not sure if I was suppose to hear it.
My stomach felt weird, like a knot was forming or something. And tears were beginning to form in my eyes. "I wasn't using you, Jounochi."
"Whatever," he mumbled, stopping, having reached the front door. He reached for the knob, but I grabbed his hand.
"Wait," I said desperately. "Please don't go."
"Get off me," he spat, irritated, jerking his hand from mine. "Leave me alone," he grumbled.
"Please," I whispered, giving up. "Just hold me," I said, closing the distance between us in a hug. "Just for a few minutes." I felt him tense. "Just a few seconds," I sobbed. My stomach felt like it was eating itself as I said that, the tears spilling over.
I tore from him, tightening the sheet around me, running away from him, into another room.
I waited; I waited to hear the door open and slam shut as tears fell down my cheeks.
I heard a sigh instead. "It's just easier for us to hate each other," he called.
"Go away," I ordered, miserably. "Just walk the fuck out like nothing happened."
"I can't do that, Kaiba. Because something *did* happen."
"What? You fell in love with me?" I laughed morbidly. "I can totally tell," I said sarcastically. "Just walk out."
"Why are you doing this?" he moaned. "It was just a fuck. Why don't you get it?"
"Get what? You want to spend the rest of your life as a slut, catering to everyone else's needs?"
There was a long pause. "Just shut up, Kaiba," he said weakly.
"You have more bruises than you had last night. Your father isn't the only who abuses you."
"You don't know what you're talking about," he mumbled. Then he opened the door and left, slamming it weakly behind him.
I slid down the wall, sitting on the ground as I began to cry into my hands.
~~~
I apologized to Yugi.
He excepted my apology and said that at least I went home.
A big step.
And life moved on.
Without seeing Jounochi or Otogi.
Yugi and Yami never asked once about what happened. Which I was thankful for.
The three of us were sitting at a table in a burger joint, talking.
"So this heart of the cards business," I summed up, after listening to the two of them explain it, "is just another word for luck?"
"No!" they said in unison.
"It's about believing in your deck," Yami explained.
"But I believe in my deck," I said, shrugging, "but I don't go on about the heart crap."
"But do you really believe in it?" Yugi asked.
"If I didn't, I wouldn't have used it."
"But it's more than that," Yugi said, sipping at his soda. "It's important to believe, even when you think there's nothing you think you have left to offer in the duel."
"So you're telling me that you two honestly believe in this? That you think that by 'calling' to the 'heart of the cards,' you can change the luck of the draw?"
"Yes," they said in the freaky, twin-like unison.
"Or maybe, you two only call to the heart of the cards when you have nothing left, so any card you draw seems good."
Yami sighed, chewing on his fries.
"Or maybe--"
"Eat your lunch," Yami growled.
"Yami!" Yugi exclaimed.
"Or maybe Yami really can't lose, even if he tried, so he has some god looking over his shoulder that can physically change a card into another."
Yugi giggled and Yami growled.
"Shut up, Kaiba."
"`sides," Yugi said through his giggles, "Yami *did* loose to you, Kaiba."
I tensed. "When I cheated."
"It wasn't really cheating," Yami observed. "There's nothing in the rules that says a CEO can't use his technology against himself in hopes his unbeatable opponent will take pity on him."
I threw a fry at Yami. "Unbeatable my ass! There's *got* to be someone who can beat you."
Yami chewed thoughtfully on his burger. "Nope." He smiled.
"What about Yugi?" I asked.
"What about me?" Yugi asked, looking uncomfortable.
"Well, if I got all this right, you're just Yami reborn, so wouldn't you have the same skill?"
"Skill's something you work at," Yami spoke softly. "I believe I worked my entire short life to get to my skill."
Yugi shrugged. "`sides, to really prove who was better, we'd have to use the exact same deck."
"Possible," I said.
"And rule out 'luck,'" Yami muttered.
"By having someone pre-match-up all the cards in the same order," I said softly, a plan beginning to form.
"Just stop right there!" Yami pointed his "death finger of doom and destruction" at me. "There is no way I will fight a duel with my aibou!"
"Because you're scared of loosing," I joked. Yugi joined me in my laughter.
Yami shook his head. "Honestly, Kaiba."
I took a sip from my soda, and gently placed my hand on Yugi's. Let's just say I had picked up my interest in him again.
Yugi smiled back at me, innocently, not realizing I wanted it to be more than just a "friendly hand holding." Don't even ask.
Yami noticed this. His eyes went from our hands to my eyes. "WATCH YOURSELF," he mouthed.
I lifted my hand up, scratching at the back of my head. "So should we be heading back to the game shop soon?"
Yugi shrugged. "I hardly get out anymore. It sucks being stuck at school all day," he mumbled, shooting Yami a dirty look.
"An education is very important, aibou."
Yugi sighed, rolling his eyes.
"Well, then why don't you and Kaiba enjoy the rest of your Sunday? I'll go back to the Game Shop."
Yugi smiled at Yami charmingly. "Thank you Yami!" he sang happily. He grabbed my hand and pulled me out of the booth. "Come on, Kaiba!"
I followed him after him. "So where are we going?"
"The park," he answered, leading me along.
I smiled, going after him. "So what are we going to do at the park?"
Yugi sighed. "Everything has to be planned out for you, huh?"
"I prefer having an idea of what I'm going to do."
"That's no fun! Have you ever heard of being spontaneous?" Yugi grabbed my hand and led me to a tree. "Do you ever just...relax?"
"Doing absolutely nothing? No, even when I get massages, I'm on the phone."
Yugi sighed. "Well sit down and relax right now!"
I rolled my eyes and leaned against the tree. "Ooo, fun," I kidded.
Yugi shook his head and sat down facing me. "See, this isn't so bad."
I smiled. "It's...peaceful."
Yugi leaned against the tree next to me, laying his head against my arms. "Mmmhmm.."
I turned to him, smiling. "Yugi?" I said softly. I wanted to talk to him about how I felt.
He yawned. "Mmm...sorry. I'm tired."
I changed my mind. "You seem to be staying up later and later."
"School's hard. And Yami won't let me just sit in class, he actually bothers me into paying attention."
"You, Jounochi, and Honda were always the lowest in the class ranking. So what are you having trouble with?"
"Everything," he pouted.
"Then I'll help you with everything."
"Thanks, Kaiba!" he said excitedly, sitting up and looking at me. "That'd be great."
I cupped his face in my hand. I decided to bite the bullet. "Yugi," I said softly. "I really like you. I'd like to get more serious with you."
Yugi looked down at his hands, which were tearing at the grass. "Well, uh..." I let go of his face. "That's nice," he said softly.
"Unless you don't want to," I said softly. God, rejection sucks. Now I remember why I STAYED AWAY FROM PEOPLE!
"It's not you, Kaiba. You're great. I just..."
"Jounochi," I muttered, not even meaning to speak aloud.
"Excuse me?"
I glanced up at him. "You're in love with Jounochi. I shouldn't have even said anything."
"How did you know that?" Yugi asked, looking suspicious.
I bit nervously at my thumbnail. "I could just tell." You know, here I was, upset and depressed over being rejected twice in one month and here I was, explaining--lying--myself to Yugi. "Maybe you should tell him. He seemed to handle my homosexuality alright," I said sort of lamely. Now I was making him feel better. Normally, I'd be standing up and leaving. But I couldn't anymore...
"But I'm his BEST FRIEND, Kaiba. And it's not like you told him you were in love with him."
I looked down. Didn't tell, just insinuated. "I think I better go," I said softly. I stood up. "I'm going home. I need to think about some things."
"Are you okay, Kaiba?"
"Fine."