Strange Words and Thin Ice

Author: Mirfaen

Rating: G

Summary: The Fellowship has some fun by a frozen lake. The Hobbits invent words and Legolas and Aragorn are out to get each other.

"I don't give a rat's tail about grammar. It's a downright ugly word."

"Come now, Merry. It's just a simple word."

"No, Pip. I won't use it."

"What is the problem here?" Gimli's gruff voice cut into the hobbits' debate and the two turned immediately on him.

"Gimli," Pippin began with a very philosophical air as they ambled forward in the ankle-deep snow. "Now tell me your opinion. Do you like the word 'skid?'"

"I…well, I…" Gimli replied, seemingly at a loss for words.

"That's not the problem!" Merry cried suddenly. "What's the past tense of skid, Gimli?"

"Skidded!" Gimli responded proudly, immensely happy that he was able to answer a question intelligently.

"Exactly!" Merry proclaimed unhappily, spreading his arms wide.

Gimli waited several moments, but the two hobbits simply stared expectantly at him. He cleared his throat. "And what exactly is the problem?"

"Well," Merry sputtered, as though the dwarf should have picked up on the problem long ago, "Just listen to it! Skidded…skidded-ed-ed-ed…by the time you're done saying the word, all your friends have died."

"That's rather dismal," Samwise commented from behind them.

Merry went back and clapped Sam on the back. "That is correct, Sam my good friend."

"Your friends are not going to die because you say the word skidded," Frodo said next to Sam with a slight roll of the eyes.

"It has happened before," Pippin put in pointedly. "The sad tale of old Barnum and his friend Darby. His poor use of grammar was widely reckoned by hobbits and Big Folk alike back when they were still alive…"

"..But that is beside the point at the moment," Merry hastily concluded Pippin's tale. "I simply disenjoy the word skidded."

"Disenjoy?" Frodo repeated looking at Merry with a smile.

"Quite."

"That's not a word!" Pippin accused with a furrowed brow.

"Sure it is," Merry maintained confidently. "You taught it to me, Pip."

"…See, of course it's a word, Frodo," Pippin turned on Frodo, apparently hoping the others might overlook his mistake.

"Well now," Gimli rumbled next to them, the haft of his axe swinging with each of his strides, "I'm not so sure of that, young hobbit. I believe you are to say 'I do not enjoy the word.'"

"Right…I don't enjoy it. So what's the opposite of enjoy? Disenjoy," Merry said firmly, sidestepping to avoid a dead bush that protruded from the snow.

"Mayhaps it's unenjoy," Sam offered helpfully.

"Now this is getting out of hand," Gimli grumbled.

"…can only say that debating such things is a side effect of being undersized."

The four hobbits and dwarf all looked up at the softly spoken words to find Legolas walking stoically in front of them and Aragorn next to him, studying the nearby snow with intense care. For a moment, Pippin thought he saw the man's shoulders shake in what must have been laughter, but the next moment it was gone.

"What was that, lad?" Gimli thundered, walking with a suddenly erect back and holding his head high.

Legolas and Aragorn both turned with puzzled expressions.

"Hm?" Aragorn said, looking between them. "I didn't say anything. Legolas?"

The Elf simply shrugged his shoulders without a word and turned forward again. Gimli muttered darkly under his breath.

"What did you say, Gimli?" Pippin wondered.

"Nothing, lad."

"Why yes, Gimli," Legolas suddenly answered without turning, "Elves in fact are gifted with wit and sagacity."

"I didn't say that!"

"Oh no? Aragorn, what did you hear?"

Aragorn suddenly found the snow to be remarkably interesting again.

"Here we are." Gandalf's voice floated back to the travelers from up ahead and in several moments they were standing behind him before the wide expanse of a frozen lake.

"Where are we?" Merry asked.

"We are here," Pippin volunteered.

"Where's here?"

"Where we are."

"Where…"

Gandalf cleared his throat, his eyes roaming back and forth as he looked at his charges. Without preamble he removed his hat, dusted off a rock, and sat down.

The rest of the Fellowship stood silently for a moment before bursting once more into action. The hobbits promptly dumped their packs on the ground and presented themselves with the task of playing in the snow. Gimli reached immediately for his pipe and settled down near Gandalf to observe the hobbits playing. Boromir found a nearby rock and set his shield on its side, while Aragorn simply stood with his back to the others, looking out over the lake in thought. Legolas had taken off at run to take a quick patrol of the other side of the frozen expanse.

"AH! Sam!"

Aragorn was suddenly jerked out of his musing by the outburst and found that Samwise Gamgee had tripped and was sliding backwards on his rump onto the icy lake.

"Quick, Strider! Save him!"

"He'll fall in!"

"Sam! Stay calm!"

"Strider, do something!"

The three hobbits were so consumed in saving Sam that they failed to notice that the hobbit in question had gained his feet and was standing, quite safely, on top of the ice.

"Strider!!"

Aragorn turned calmly. "Yes?"

"Sam's in…danger…hey, let's slide on the ice!"

"Are you sure it's safe?" Frodo wondered,watching his gardener closely.

"If it holds Sam, it'll hold us," Pippin explained before both he and Merry charged out onto the lake.

"I beg your pardon," Samwise said, sounding slightly hurt as the two hobbits whizzed past him.

Frodo tentatively stepped out onto the ice and shuffled his way forward. He was just beginning to make progress toward Sam when his feet flew out from under him and he landed square on his back.

"Isn't this fun, Frodo?" Merry asked, sliding by proudly on one foot.

"Very," Frodo wheezed, crawling on all fours to preserve his back bones.

Pippin turned suddenly and glanced thoughtfully over the rest of the Fellowship. Gimli looked quite comfortable where he was and probably wouldn't want to leave his pipe…Gandalf was already glaring in Pip's direction…and Boromir seemed completely repulsed by the idea of ice in general. Legolas wasn't even there, so that left…

"Strider! Come play with us!"

Aragorn's eyes widened and he took a casual step back from the bank of the frozen lake, but the damage had already been done.

"Yeah, come on, Strider!" Frodo had taken up the call and before long, all four hobbits were begging him to join them.

"And," Merry said grandly as though Aragorn would win some prize, "we don't have to say 'skidded'…we can say 'skud!'"

"We can skud on the ice, Aragorn!"

"Come skud with us!"

"Please, Strider? Don't you want to skud?"

Aragorn was laughing now, and turned a bemused look to the others. With a shrug, he stepped onto the ice.

"Yay!!!" Was the response of hobbit cheers.

"Simple things in life," Gandalf murmured with a chuckle and a twinkle in his eye as he watched the four hobbits slipping and sliding in a circle around the Ranger.

Aragorn was walking carefully forward on the ice when he felt small hands latch onto his coat from behind. He glanced down to find Merry attached there, grinning from ear to ear as he allowed himself to be pulled along by the man. In no time, Sam had grabbed hold behind Merry and Frodo had joined behind Sam. Pippin was several yards away when he saw and began to shuffle toward them excitedly.

"Quick! Go! Go!" Merry yelled to Aragorn and the Ranger went forward cautiously, carting behind him three gleeful hobbits.

"Faster!" Frodo called from the back.

Pippin, upon seeing them getting away, changed tactics and sent himself gliding toward the head of the line. He plowed directly into Aragorn, sending them all tumbling along in a large pile up of bodies farther out into the lake. Aragorn heard loud laughter from the others at the side of the lake as he tried to pick himself up and sort out which legs belonged to which hobbit.

He found that gaining his feet was a much more difficult task than was originally planned for and several times he came dangerously close to performing a split. Only by tipping himself to land sideways did he avoid the unwanted activity. Finally standing once again, he looked up for a moment and found that at the far side of the lake Legolas was standing watching them.

With an evil grin, Aragorn slipped his way forward. He heard the hobbits somewhere behind him starting some new game amongst themselves. Eventually coming within range of the Elf, Aragorn called out to him.

"Why don't you join us?"

"Of all the Fellowship, I knew you would be the first one they would get to come out on the ice," Legolas responded.

"Don't you want to skud?"

Legolas wrinkled his nose. "Skud? You get far too carried away when you spend time with the halflings, Aragorn."

Aragorn continued shuffling forward. "Fine. Then why don't you just come back this way? It's much faster than going all the way around the lake again."

"I am positive that I could go around the lake twice before you even reached the other side," Legolas answered immediately, raising his chin ever so slightly.

"Well, well," Aragorn said with a chuckle. "Aren't you self-confident?"

"No, simply fast, Aragorn."

"I see," the man responded. He only several yards from the bank when he suddenly froze in his tracks. A very high-pitched noise had reached his ears and he glanced down to see a small tendril snaking through the ice from his foot. He looked up at Legolas, not daring to move his feet.

"Legolas," he said, glancing quickly downward again to see another crack inching its way away from him, "it's breaking."

"Yes?" Legolas said calmly.

Aragorn glanced up at his friend wildly. "What do you mean, 'yes'? It's going to break!"

"Oh."

"Legolas!"

"Yes?"

"Do something!"

"That's no way to ask a friend," Legolas had turned away from the Ranger and was studying a nearby mountain. "How tall would you guess that peak is, Aragorn?"

Aragorn gave a grunt of frustration. He tentatively slid one foot forward an inch or so but stopped when a loud crack sounded from deep within the ice below him. "'Never trust an Elf'" Aragorn quoted Gimli's words with a sigh, "I should have listened."

"You don't trust me?" Legolas turned back, looking actually hurt.

Aragorn looked at those big glassy blue eyes. "Well, it's not that I don't trust you, I mean…well right now you're not being much help."

"I'm not?"

"Peregrin Took would be of more help then you at this moment."

Legolas gasped and put a hand to his chest. "Aragorn, you hurt me deeply!"

"Legolas," Aragorn began and then stopped as another ominous crack resounded beneath him. His face became deadly serious and he looked at his flighty friend with pleading eyes.

"Very well," Legolas responded somewhat reluctantly. He raised his bow and drew it back as though sighting an invisible arrow at Aragorn. "I suppose I could tie a rope onto my arrow and shoot you…then I could at least drag your body back to shore."

Aragorn's jaw dropped at his friend's utter lack of concern. "Somehow I don't think that will improve my chances of survival."

"Then I fear I must leave you to your fate." Legolas turned and began to walk away.

Aragorn had half a mind to stomp on the ice below him and fall through into the lake simply to spite Legolas, but decided that living was slightly more important to him. It crossed his mind to attach a rope to his arrow and shoot Legolas, then drag the Elf out onto the ice with him.

"Legolas!"

"What?" The Elf called over his shoulder.

"I need you to help me!"

Legolas paused and slowly turned around. "You do? But you do not trust me."

"No, I trust you completely," Aragorn said hurriedly as he felt the ice creaking underneath him.

"Who won the sit-up contest?"

Aragorn laughed despite himself. "That's what you've been waiting to hear?"

"Well?" Legolas crossed his arms very defiantly. He looked up at the sky with a hint of a smile on his lips. "I have plenty of time."

The ice cracked several times in a row. It was about to give way.

"You won, Legolas!" Aragorn proclaimed. "Now will you just…"

There was a loud pop and a crashing noise as the ice crumbled under Aragorn's feet. Legolas suddenly lunged forward with incredible speed and snatched Aragorn's arms, swinging him around toward the bank so that they switched places. Aragorn landed face first in the snow as the ice continued to break through behind him.

"Legolas!" He called wildly, spinning around.

Then he stopped. Legolas was standing knee deep in the water with a huge grin lighting up his face.

"Are you all right?" Came Pippin's accented voice echoing from the middle of the lake. Apparently the Fellowship had been watching their little affair.

Aragorn gave a mighty growl and dashed for the Elf, whose eyes grew wide before he was grabbed roughly by the Ranger and hauled out of the ice water. Dragging Legolas behind him, Aragorn started off across the lake with as much of an angry stomp as he could muster whilst keeping his delicate balance.

Legolas was laughing musically. "Forgive me, Aragorn. I could not resist!"

"You knew the water was only two feet deep the whole time and yet you allowed me to think I was about to plunge to my death!" Aragorn said angrily though he was actually simply relieved. He found it to be slightly amusing himself but there was no way he would let the Elf see that now.

"And you truly thought I did not care about you?" the slim Elf asked while still laughing and attempting unsuccessfully to free himself.

"From the way you were acting, your loyalty was dubious at best," Aragorn said, continuing his trek and ignoring Legolas' struggles.

Legolas had stopped laughing. "What are you doing?" He asked with forced casualty.

"What am I doing?" Aragorn repeated, happy that their places had been switched. "Hm. What will I do?"

"Aragorn," Legolas warned in what he hoped was a stern voice.

They were coming up to the hobbits now and Merry clapped his hands upon seeing them. "Are you going to skud with us too, Legolas?"

"Not today, Merry," Aragorn answered, not pausing as he towed the unwilling Elf past them.

"Be gentle, Strider," Frodo called with a laugh before turning back to the hobbits' game.

"We'll see about that," Aragorn grumbled, getting a tighter grip on his friend as the struggles became a little more desperate.

"Aragorn," Legolas said again. "You know I wouldn't let you fall into the water if it was dangerous. I knew you'd be okay. You didn't even get wet!"

"And you allowed me to think that you had fallen through!"

"Well if you cared that much about me then, then certainly you still care about me now," Legolas reasoned somewhat franticly.

They were nearing the other end of the lake. Gandalf, Boromir and Gimli were watching them come. All three wore smiles, though it was for different reasons. Gandalf enjoyed seeing his charges having a rare bout of fun, while Boromir was smiling because he had never before seen a Man and an Elf acting in such ways and Gimli simply was happy to see the Elf in a twist for once.

"What do you say?" Aragorn called ahead to them, shaking Legolas slightly as he pulled him along. "What should I do with him?"

"Tie him up and leave him," Gimli muttered his usual response to such questions about Legolas. "It'll throw the Wargs off our trail."

Boromir seemed to be putting deep thought into the issue and sat for a moment with his brows knit together.

"Now," Legolas began, clearly alarmed at the amount of actual thought that was going into his demise, "why don't we just call it even, Aragorn."

"But I don't remember doing anything to you," the Ranger responded innocently. "I owe you one and then we'll be even. Maybe I'll turn you over to the mercy of the hobbits."

"Fine," Legolas agreed happily, "I'll just sit and listen while they make up words."

"Or maybe I'll turn you over to Gimli."

Gimli grunted. "You wouldn't if you value his life, laddie."

Legolas' eyes narrowed as they stepped off the lake onto the snow. "I would have no trouble with that either. I would simply walk away and he would not be able to catch up."

"My axe would catch up with you wonderfully."

"Boromir?" Aragorn said, turning to the other man. "Any suggestions?"

The broad shouldered man shrugged. "Not off the top of my head. Give me some time and I could come up with something."

"Very well, I'll tell you what," Aragorn said finally, with a shove that sent Legolas into a snow bank. "I'll let you go for now and get my revenge at a later date."

Legolas scoffed, dusting the snow from his front. "You may try, my friend."

Suddenly four small bodies came careening off the ice and into the snow bank with wild yells. Several curly heads popped out of the snow with large smiles.

"Why did you leave? Do you disenjoy skudding?"