Disclaimer: I don't own Newsies or any other media references I may make throughout the duration of this fic.
Chapter 9: On Not Seizing Love
Bumlets
So they're together and I missed my window of opportunity. I can't say I'm unhappy for them, because I'm pleased to see that they love each other so much, I'm just unhappy for my because I didn't take the opportunity when I could have.
I've always been my mother's pride. I've seized life and made my parents proud, they accept everything about me and cherish every minute with me. It makes me feel like I belong and I never want the feeling to end, but that doesn't mean that I can't have new feelings introduced, does it?
Anthony Higgins is the first boy I've loved. I've admired other boys from afar, but Anthony is the first one I've been friends with before discovering how amazing he is. I guess Spot is quicker at picking up about him because he took the chance with Anthony before I even had a chance.
I knew that they were lusting after each other even before they did. I should have asked him out just then. I should have asked him out when I had even a haze of a chance. But then I saw them in the alleyway, tried to seem happy, and realized that whatever was left of the haze of a chance was gone.
"Mi Vida, come over here," said my mother from her armchair the night I caught them in the alley. "What's on your mind?"
"Nothing mama, I'm just feeling down."
She kissed me on the forehead and gestured to the couch. "I'll make some tea and we'll talk, alright Mi Vida?"
I nodded and sunk into the couch. She was so solid; she was always there for me.
"Now, tell me Mi Vida, what's going on?" She stirred two lumps of sugar into the cup, like I liked it, and handed it to me on a saucer.
"Mama, do you remember Anthony?"
She nodded her head. "How could I forget him, nice boy. What's the problem with him?"
"Nothing, he's dating now. I think they're in love."
My mother smiled so her wrinkles deepened around her eyes and she peered at me warmly. "That's nice for him. What's so bad about that? Be happy for him Mi Vida, he's your friend."
"He's going out with his roommate, Simon. A boy."
"And, what's on your mind?"
"I love him. I wish he were with me."
"Mi Vida, just be happy for them. You'll find someone who you'll love too." My mother rubbed my head and smiled wisely. "Just have a good sleep and we'll see how you feel in the morning. How does that sound?"
"Goodnight mama." I stood up and headed for the stairs.
"Goodnight Mi Vida, sleep tight."
Now, when I sit in class and stare at his ear, because he's still facing the board and doesn't stare back, I just wish he'd never met Spot, or I'd never met him, or both.
It looks like he's concentrating as the professor so hard, but at the same time it's like he's bored out of his mind. Racetrack is a book that has yet to be read without a mistake. He's full of confusion. I want to figure it out; he's like an impossible riddle.
Does anyone know him like the way he knows himself? Does Spot? I want to, I want to sit down with Racetrack and talk about him so that there's nothing I don't know. I don't want to miss one thing.
So he sits next to me in class and I want to reach out and take his hand under the table, but I don't because he's with Spot and if he doesn't love me. I want him to at least like me in a way that he wants to spend time with me outside of class. The worst way to love someone is to be sitting right beside them knowing you can't have them.
End Chapter 9
((That was Bumlets' first PoV and I liked it. He's lusting after race! What a man Race must be...heh heh heh. Oops, sorry, dirty thoughts clouded the brain for a minute there.))
Shoutouts:
Strawberri Shake- I hope Racetrack has a...companion soon as well. He's so sad and confuzzled! And Mush can't be so happy all the time like in the movie, he had to be grumpy sometimes. My grumpy Mush makes up for all the over-happy ones ever written about!
AlmatariofAdra- yes, Jacob is coming to school on Thursday, which happens to be today. I know you're very happy, but don't wet yourself. I had to make Cherish nice, what, with that name and all.
Erin Go Bragh- no anti-depressants for Racey! He's clean! What if he took drugs and Spot snuck some and they turned into druggies!!! Ahh! That's...so weird! I refuse to give them drugs. Although, Spot could tickle Race until he feels better...heh heh heh
Madison Square- oops, I did mean her eyes. Sorry if it was confusing. I love that you love this fic. It makes me happy.
Padfootismyhero- hey! No fair! I haven't even seen it once!
Chapter 9: On Not Seizing Love
Bumlets
So they're together and I missed my window of opportunity. I can't say I'm unhappy for them, because I'm pleased to see that they love each other so much, I'm just unhappy for my because I didn't take the opportunity when I could have.
I've always been my mother's pride. I've seized life and made my parents proud, they accept everything about me and cherish every minute with me. It makes me feel like I belong and I never want the feeling to end, but that doesn't mean that I can't have new feelings introduced, does it?
Anthony Higgins is the first boy I've loved. I've admired other boys from afar, but Anthony is the first one I've been friends with before discovering how amazing he is. I guess Spot is quicker at picking up about him because he took the chance with Anthony before I even had a chance.
I knew that they were lusting after each other even before they did. I should have asked him out just then. I should have asked him out when I had even a haze of a chance. But then I saw them in the alleyway, tried to seem happy, and realized that whatever was left of the haze of a chance was gone.
"Mi Vida, come over here," said my mother from her armchair the night I caught them in the alley. "What's on your mind?"
"Nothing mama, I'm just feeling down."
She kissed me on the forehead and gestured to the couch. "I'll make some tea and we'll talk, alright Mi Vida?"
I nodded and sunk into the couch. She was so solid; she was always there for me.
"Now, tell me Mi Vida, what's going on?" She stirred two lumps of sugar into the cup, like I liked it, and handed it to me on a saucer.
"Mama, do you remember Anthony?"
She nodded her head. "How could I forget him, nice boy. What's the problem with him?"
"Nothing, he's dating now. I think they're in love."
My mother smiled so her wrinkles deepened around her eyes and she peered at me warmly. "That's nice for him. What's so bad about that? Be happy for him Mi Vida, he's your friend."
"He's going out with his roommate, Simon. A boy."
"And, what's on your mind?"
"I love him. I wish he were with me."
"Mi Vida, just be happy for them. You'll find someone who you'll love too." My mother rubbed my head and smiled wisely. "Just have a good sleep and we'll see how you feel in the morning. How does that sound?"
"Goodnight mama." I stood up and headed for the stairs.
"Goodnight Mi Vida, sleep tight."
Now, when I sit in class and stare at his ear, because he's still facing the board and doesn't stare back, I just wish he'd never met Spot, or I'd never met him, or both.
It looks like he's concentrating as the professor so hard, but at the same time it's like he's bored out of his mind. Racetrack is a book that has yet to be read without a mistake. He's full of confusion. I want to figure it out; he's like an impossible riddle.
Does anyone know him like the way he knows himself? Does Spot? I want to, I want to sit down with Racetrack and talk about him so that there's nothing I don't know. I don't want to miss one thing.
So he sits next to me in class and I want to reach out and take his hand under the table, but I don't because he's with Spot and if he doesn't love me. I want him to at least like me in a way that he wants to spend time with me outside of class. The worst way to love someone is to be sitting right beside them knowing you can't have them.
End Chapter 9
((That was Bumlets' first PoV and I liked it. He's lusting after race! What a man Race must be...heh heh heh. Oops, sorry, dirty thoughts clouded the brain for a minute there.))
Shoutouts:
Strawberri Shake- I hope Racetrack has a...companion soon as well. He's so sad and confuzzled! And Mush can't be so happy all the time like in the movie, he had to be grumpy sometimes. My grumpy Mush makes up for all the over-happy ones ever written about!
AlmatariofAdra- yes, Jacob is coming to school on Thursday, which happens to be today. I know you're very happy, but don't wet yourself. I had to make Cherish nice, what, with that name and all.
Erin Go Bragh- no anti-depressants for Racey! He's clean! What if he took drugs and Spot snuck some and they turned into druggies!!! Ahh! That's...so weird! I refuse to give them drugs. Although, Spot could tickle Race until he feels better...heh heh heh
Madison Square- oops, I did mean her eyes. Sorry if it was confusing. I love that you love this fic. It makes me happy.
Padfootismyhero- hey! No fair! I haven't even seen it once!