CHAPTER FIFTEEN, VARSHA'S TRUTH
() Aha! The long awaited "Varsha's Truth" chaptero. I'm sorry that it took me so long to put this out and that it's so long. You know, this is the first thing I wrote and it's not even long, but I bet that it's going to be good and long. This chapter makes up for all of the time you spent waiting while I tried to figure out how to be able to type without my Shift Key. It really confuses me. I was writing some of my own original fiction and I thought, 'Bryn,' (for that's my name) 'if you can type "Wolfwood"' (for that's the name of the story I was writing) 'then how come you can't type your Redwall ficcy?' So, here it is! Chapters may be slower coming out than usual, so BE PATIENT! Also, this is a veddy special chaptero, because it comes from not the normal state that I live in, but in Virginia. Yay. gets brill idea LIGHTBULB! BRILL IDEA! Okay, will talk about brill idea in the end, because I think that some of you have skipped this part and have just gotten to the story already. So, the long awaited "Varsha's Truth" chaptero is here for you to read! ()
A/N: Some angst in here. Yeah. Some. Bit of talk of suicide. No suicide committed though. None. Okay, we gotta get this rolling. :-D LET'S GO PEOPLE!
Varsha sat in the infirmary with her hares, the fighting Redwallers, the Abbess, Nuria Firemouth, Kella and the otters, and the half of Joranzo's otters that had come with her.
"You have to understood," choked out Varsha to her hares, "that this was after Nakkreul the stoat had attacked Salamandastron. Everyone was angry at me for befriending the almost newborn rat, Kabble, and casually mentioning where I lived. Kabble's mother heard and told Kabble's father, who told Nakkreul. The Badgerlord was mad at me, Jo's tribe was mad at me (even though at the time it was Bawuk's tribe at the time), the hares were mad at me. I hated myself. I thought that everyone wanted me dead. I knew that I wanted myself dead. I thought that you guys wanted me dead for having my own friends, my own opinions, my own life. I was too afraid to die, so I ran away. I saw Kabble. He had been my mate through it all.
"'Kabble, what's wrong?' I had asked him. He had been weeping like a little babe. I was only two seasons out of Dibbunhood, and he was a season from Dibbunhood, yet he was born to be a vermin-warrior. A murderer.
"'My parents abandoned me acos I was yer mate. They all hate me and want me to die,' he had replied, still crying. I comforted him, telling him that he WAS my mate and that they, meaning his parents and Nakkreul's horde, were wrong. He could have his own opinion.
"I don't know if I was comforting Kabble and trying to tell him not to kill himself...or if I was telling myself. I was FRANTICALLY telling Kabble, 'Matey, there's more for you to live for. Much more. You can prove it to yer mum and da that you can do it. You can do it. You don't need them. Don't die, Kabble. We've seen enough sufferin' and death, haven't we, mate? Let's go and find adventure t'gether. We can find some rats, weasels, stoats, ferrets, foxes, and the like. They'll be our friends. Won't they?'
"I was always saying 'mate' or 'matey' or 'my friend' or 'chum' as I tried to comfort him. I had to put it on thick: he was my matey. That was that. After about half an hour of trying to convince him not to go, he looked me straight in the eyes and whispered, 'Thanks, matey.' That was the first time that he had looked me straight in the eyes. I got lost in them. I saw purple, swirling mists dotted with black. I saw red and blue veins pulsing and exploding all over my vision.
"They say that all but the second-in-command and Kabble hisself was hypnotized to be his friend and to join. That was slightly true. I was his pal naturally, and I hadn't joined him, I had formed the crew. But do you know what thoughts were running through my head as I gazed in those fearful eyes?
"'Redwall. It's a glorious place. There are kitchens, a Great Hall, Cavern Hole, dormitories, and an Infirmity. But, best of all, there is Martin's Sword!' As these thoughts ran through my head, I actually saw them. I saw this room, I saw the Friar cooking up a delicious meal with a young molemaid always stealing frosting from a cake..." Varsha gave a dry chuckle as Leafswirl's mouth twitched. "Aye, Redwall was a perfect place. The thoughts that had gone through my mind were Kabble's thoughts, though. One of my own thoughts was, 'It would be lovely to visit Redwall'. Kabble's thoughts in my brain were, 'Those Redwallers once promised me their sword when I was old enough.' I saw Martin's sword in the paw of a grey-furred paw and from the elbow to the tips of the claws...Kabble's arm! I believed him. He also put this thought into my mind: 'But then the Redwallers betrayed me! They attacked my mother and my father. My mum and dad asked, "Why are you doing this to us?"'" Varsha took a deep, shuddering breath as she looked around at the faces of her friends. She then continued, "Kabble told me, 'The Redwallers replied, "You are rats. We don't like rats." "Why, why?" my parents had cried. The Redwallers told my parents, "Because we are mice. We will kill anything that isn't a mouse." I slightly believed him, you know? Some of my hares were hypnotized into believing that he was a mouse. He hypnotizes you, and you're stuck like that until something happens.
"I know that it was his hypnotizing powers that made me believe that he was right and that Redwall would hate me for being a badger, but I guess it was that I felt betrayed too many times. My heart could never be healed. It was that day that Bloodwrath would be with my always. I learned why vermin were always so mean: they were always given a bad reputation, and were hated. So they give us an excuse to hate them. They destroy things. They murder. So that they can understand why we hate them.
"So that's why I joined with Kabble. So that I could know why everyone hated me: because I was an evil, murdering fiend. I had switched my fate. Like Veil the six-clawed ferret. He had switched his fate. He had become good.
"I became bad.
"I followed Kabble all over the land. At first it was just us, and then we met this ferret, Dunixi. He was kicked out of his old horde acos he was always drinkin'. We became his friends. We helped him get rid of his alcohol problem, but it had done something to his voice. He slurred his words. Which was good...to the vermin side of me.
"I remember we once sent Dunixi into a camp of four shrews that had about six rats imprisoned. Dunixi swaggered into the camp.
"'Kin I 'ave sem fudd, shroos?' he asked. I can still do the imitation of his voice that I used to do when I did a replay of it.
"'D'you think that you kin just wander into our camp and demand food?' a shrew had yelled.
"'I dinnit jost wanner inter yer camp and deman' fudd. I asked for et! I 'ave a 'ooge croo in th' forris, yew better gimme some fudd! 'N' free thum rats!' Dunixi had pointed his cutlass at the shrews. Dunixi told us that a shrew had muttered, 'That ferret's drunk. We can outsmart him.' The shrew then snapped at Dunixi, 'That's the oldest trick in the book, ferret. A huge crew in the forest, eh? Bring 'em out!'
"Kabble had been hypnotizing me into becoming full of Bloodwrath. I gave a roar and me and Kabble charged into the camp." Varsha paused for a deep breath and a sip of water from a glass on a bedside table. "We knocked the shrews unconscious and freed the rats. We raced around the forest, gathering followers and killing goodbeasts. Then, we came upon Redwall. The Abbot, Abbot Jabilo, knew that Kabble was a magician. He knew Kabble's intentions. He was a good otter, Jabilo. He refused to let Kabble hold Martin's sword.
"Kabble waged war on Redwall.
"I helped him. I used a bow and a sling, never coming out into the open. Kabble had told me to stay hidden.
"'Why, matey?' I had asked him.
"'It makes them scared. They think that there are more beasts in the forest.' Kabble had given me a knowing smile. 'That's why I'm the first-in- command and you're the second-in-command.'
"I learned later that I was the second-in-command because I was a goodbeast at heart.
"And Kabble was first-in-command because he was vermin. He was cruel and heartless. But, most of all, because he would murder you as soon as his business was done.
"I learned that quickly. Kabble had a weasel named Trigtu enter Redwall, pretending to be injured. Trigtu was to steal Martin the Warrior's sword. He did so.
"He came back, carryin' Martin's sword. He gave it to Kabble.
"'Thankee, Trigtu,' Kabble had cackled gleefully.
"'Sir,' Trigtu had rasped out, 'them Redwall folk found me stealin' the sword! Get ready for battle, Sir!'
"'Thank you, Trigtu, for getting me the sword. AND FOR GETTIN' THE REDWALLERS ON OUR TAIL!' Kabble had screamed.
"He slew Trigtu with a single thrust.
"We battled. The Redwallers regained Martin's sword, but they retreated. We won. We killed more of them.
"I think that this battle stands out in my mind a lot. That's when I saw YOU, Nuria Firemouth.
"'She's a badger,' I had whispered to myself. 'I'm a badger!! Kabble lied to me. He hypnotized me.'
"That night, I snuck into Redwall. Do you remember that, Nuria? You asked, 'Who's there?'"
Nuria nodded slowly. "Aye, I remember. You called back, 'Badger, I have something to tell you.'"
"And then you shouted back, 'How can I trust you?'"
"Well, I thought that you were a rat or something. You were in shadows near the bushes next to the Abbey Pond!"
"Aye, true, true." Varsha nodded, giving a small chortle. "Then I whispered back, 'By this: Euulaaaaliiiaaaa!'
"Nuria then came over and crouched beside me. 'Who are you?' she asked me.
"'My name is Varsha Midelli,' I replied.
"'That's the name of one of Kabble's lot. The second-in-command!' Nuria stood up and snarled, 'You're a badger, though!'
"'Please,' I begged, 'listen to me. Kabble is not just the full name of that vile rat. It is Kabble Ionaeyes the Magician!'
"I then told Nuria all about Kabble and his magic-making, his hypnotizing, everything. I told her about Nakkreul, about the Badgerlord, what the next plan was, EVERYTHING.
"'Promise to tell no one about this, Nuria Firemouth. Promise me.' Nuria promised.
"'But, Midelli, we'll need to tell the Redwallers SOMETHING,' Nuria exclaimed.
"'Tell them whatever you want, Firemouth. I'm off.' Nuria's eyes widened in surprise when I told her this. 'Off? off where?' she asked. I shrugged. 'Somewhere. Back to Salamandastron, most likely. I have to leave. Good bye, Firemouth.'
"Nuria nodded, sighing. 'Good bye, Midelli. Our paths may cross again.'
"I ran that night. I took two packs of food and Kabble's sword, which is now my Flamebird." Varsha gestured to her weapon. "I raced back to Salamandastron. It took me a while. I battled crabs, frogs, toads, evil vermin. When I finally got there, the Badgerlord asked me where I was that whole time. He was angry and worried. So was everybody. But...they were mainly WORRIED about me. They didn't all want me dead.
"The war had been three seasons, but it had been five seasons since I had left Salamandastron. I told the Badgerlord that I had been wandering the land trying to get rid of evils and helping Redwall to train for helping back at Salamandastron. The Badgerlord looked skeptical, but he bought it.
"On his deathbed, I told him the truth. I told him that I was sorry that I hadn't told him the truth. He was angry at me for not telling the truth. He told me, 'If Salamandastron has a ruler who lies, then how can they trust her?'
"That made me think. I was a liar. I had betrayed everyone's trust. I felt AWFUL about it. Only one goodbeast had known the truth, the Badgerlord had, but he was dead.
"Now I had only myself to live with the secret that has haunted me all these years. And now...you know it."
() End of chaptero fifteen! Yessssss! Okay, have limited time before laptop dies so listen to my brill idea.
BRILL IDEA: I write a first chapter of a Redwall fic. Then, I post it. Then, someone email me with the second chapter. I post that. Then, people send me chapters to go with the story. One of those continue-on stories! If you don't get it, email me at brynkeanefarrell.com. Also, does anyone know ff.net's email address? I want to email them and tell them to have another category! ()
() Aha! The long awaited "Varsha's Truth" chaptero. I'm sorry that it took me so long to put this out and that it's so long. You know, this is the first thing I wrote and it's not even long, but I bet that it's going to be good and long. This chapter makes up for all of the time you spent waiting while I tried to figure out how to be able to type without my Shift Key. It really confuses me. I was writing some of my own original fiction and I thought, 'Bryn,' (for that's my name) 'if you can type "Wolfwood"' (for that's the name of the story I was writing) 'then how come you can't type your Redwall ficcy?' So, here it is! Chapters may be slower coming out than usual, so BE PATIENT! Also, this is a veddy special chaptero, because it comes from not the normal state that I live in, but in Virginia. Yay. gets brill idea LIGHTBULB! BRILL IDEA! Okay, will talk about brill idea in the end, because I think that some of you have skipped this part and have just gotten to the story already. So, the long awaited "Varsha's Truth" chaptero is here for you to read! ()
A/N: Some angst in here. Yeah. Some. Bit of talk of suicide. No suicide committed though. None. Okay, we gotta get this rolling. :-D LET'S GO PEOPLE!
Varsha sat in the infirmary with her hares, the fighting Redwallers, the Abbess, Nuria Firemouth, Kella and the otters, and the half of Joranzo's otters that had come with her.
"You have to understood," choked out Varsha to her hares, "that this was after Nakkreul the stoat had attacked Salamandastron. Everyone was angry at me for befriending the almost newborn rat, Kabble, and casually mentioning where I lived. Kabble's mother heard and told Kabble's father, who told Nakkreul. The Badgerlord was mad at me, Jo's tribe was mad at me (even though at the time it was Bawuk's tribe at the time), the hares were mad at me. I hated myself. I thought that everyone wanted me dead. I knew that I wanted myself dead. I thought that you guys wanted me dead for having my own friends, my own opinions, my own life. I was too afraid to die, so I ran away. I saw Kabble. He had been my mate through it all.
"'Kabble, what's wrong?' I had asked him. He had been weeping like a little babe. I was only two seasons out of Dibbunhood, and he was a season from Dibbunhood, yet he was born to be a vermin-warrior. A murderer.
"'My parents abandoned me acos I was yer mate. They all hate me and want me to die,' he had replied, still crying. I comforted him, telling him that he WAS my mate and that they, meaning his parents and Nakkreul's horde, were wrong. He could have his own opinion.
"I don't know if I was comforting Kabble and trying to tell him not to kill himself...or if I was telling myself. I was FRANTICALLY telling Kabble, 'Matey, there's more for you to live for. Much more. You can prove it to yer mum and da that you can do it. You can do it. You don't need them. Don't die, Kabble. We've seen enough sufferin' and death, haven't we, mate? Let's go and find adventure t'gether. We can find some rats, weasels, stoats, ferrets, foxes, and the like. They'll be our friends. Won't they?'
"I was always saying 'mate' or 'matey' or 'my friend' or 'chum' as I tried to comfort him. I had to put it on thick: he was my matey. That was that. After about half an hour of trying to convince him not to go, he looked me straight in the eyes and whispered, 'Thanks, matey.' That was the first time that he had looked me straight in the eyes. I got lost in them. I saw purple, swirling mists dotted with black. I saw red and blue veins pulsing and exploding all over my vision.
"They say that all but the second-in-command and Kabble hisself was hypnotized to be his friend and to join. That was slightly true. I was his pal naturally, and I hadn't joined him, I had formed the crew. But do you know what thoughts were running through my head as I gazed in those fearful eyes?
"'Redwall. It's a glorious place. There are kitchens, a Great Hall, Cavern Hole, dormitories, and an Infirmity. But, best of all, there is Martin's Sword!' As these thoughts ran through my head, I actually saw them. I saw this room, I saw the Friar cooking up a delicious meal with a young molemaid always stealing frosting from a cake..." Varsha gave a dry chuckle as Leafswirl's mouth twitched. "Aye, Redwall was a perfect place. The thoughts that had gone through my mind were Kabble's thoughts, though. One of my own thoughts was, 'It would be lovely to visit Redwall'. Kabble's thoughts in my brain were, 'Those Redwallers once promised me their sword when I was old enough.' I saw Martin's sword in the paw of a grey-furred paw and from the elbow to the tips of the claws...Kabble's arm! I believed him. He also put this thought into my mind: 'But then the Redwallers betrayed me! They attacked my mother and my father. My mum and dad asked, "Why are you doing this to us?"'" Varsha took a deep, shuddering breath as she looked around at the faces of her friends. She then continued, "Kabble told me, 'The Redwallers replied, "You are rats. We don't like rats." "Why, why?" my parents had cried. The Redwallers told my parents, "Because we are mice. We will kill anything that isn't a mouse." I slightly believed him, you know? Some of my hares were hypnotized into believing that he was a mouse. He hypnotizes you, and you're stuck like that until something happens.
"I know that it was his hypnotizing powers that made me believe that he was right and that Redwall would hate me for being a badger, but I guess it was that I felt betrayed too many times. My heart could never be healed. It was that day that Bloodwrath would be with my always. I learned why vermin were always so mean: they were always given a bad reputation, and were hated. So they give us an excuse to hate them. They destroy things. They murder. So that they can understand why we hate them.
"So that's why I joined with Kabble. So that I could know why everyone hated me: because I was an evil, murdering fiend. I had switched my fate. Like Veil the six-clawed ferret. He had switched his fate. He had become good.
"I became bad.
"I followed Kabble all over the land. At first it was just us, and then we met this ferret, Dunixi. He was kicked out of his old horde acos he was always drinkin'. We became his friends. We helped him get rid of his alcohol problem, but it had done something to his voice. He slurred his words. Which was good...to the vermin side of me.
"I remember we once sent Dunixi into a camp of four shrews that had about six rats imprisoned. Dunixi swaggered into the camp.
"'Kin I 'ave sem fudd, shroos?' he asked. I can still do the imitation of his voice that I used to do when I did a replay of it.
"'D'you think that you kin just wander into our camp and demand food?' a shrew had yelled.
"'I dinnit jost wanner inter yer camp and deman' fudd. I asked for et! I 'ave a 'ooge croo in th' forris, yew better gimme some fudd! 'N' free thum rats!' Dunixi had pointed his cutlass at the shrews. Dunixi told us that a shrew had muttered, 'That ferret's drunk. We can outsmart him.' The shrew then snapped at Dunixi, 'That's the oldest trick in the book, ferret. A huge crew in the forest, eh? Bring 'em out!'
"Kabble had been hypnotizing me into becoming full of Bloodwrath. I gave a roar and me and Kabble charged into the camp." Varsha paused for a deep breath and a sip of water from a glass on a bedside table. "We knocked the shrews unconscious and freed the rats. We raced around the forest, gathering followers and killing goodbeasts. Then, we came upon Redwall. The Abbot, Abbot Jabilo, knew that Kabble was a magician. He knew Kabble's intentions. He was a good otter, Jabilo. He refused to let Kabble hold Martin's sword.
"Kabble waged war on Redwall.
"I helped him. I used a bow and a sling, never coming out into the open. Kabble had told me to stay hidden.
"'Why, matey?' I had asked him.
"'It makes them scared. They think that there are more beasts in the forest.' Kabble had given me a knowing smile. 'That's why I'm the first-in- command and you're the second-in-command.'
"I learned later that I was the second-in-command because I was a goodbeast at heart.
"And Kabble was first-in-command because he was vermin. He was cruel and heartless. But, most of all, because he would murder you as soon as his business was done.
"I learned that quickly. Kabble had a weasel named Trigtu enter Redwall, pretending to be injured. Trigtu was to steal Martin the Warrior's sword. He did so.
"He came back, carryin' Martin's sword. He gave it to Kabble.
"'Thankee, Trigtu,' Kabble had cackled gleefully.
"'Sir,' Trigtu had rasped out, 'them Redwall folk found me stealin' the sword! Get ready for battle, Sir!'
"'Thank you, Trigtu, for getting me the sword. AND FOR GETTIN' THE REDWALLERS ON OUR TAIL!' Kabble had screamed.
"He slew Trigtu with a single thrust.
"We battled. The Redwallers regained Martin's sword, but they retreated. We won. We killed more of them.
"I think that this battle stands out in my mind a lot. That's when I saw YOU, Nuria Firemouth.
"'She's a badger,' I had whispered to myself. 'I'm a badger!! Kabble lied to me. He hypnotized me.'
"That night, I snuck into Redwall. Do you remember that, Nuria? You asked, 'Who's there?'"
Nuria nodded slowly. "Aye, I remember. You called back, 'Badger, I have something to tell you.'"
"And then you shouted back, 'How can I trust you?'"
"Well, I thought that you were a rat or something. You were in shadows near the bushes next to the Abbey Pond!"
"Aye, true, true." Varsha nodded, giving a small chortle. "Then I whispered back, 'By this: Euulaaaaliiiaaaa!'
"Nuria then came over and crouched beside me. 'Who are you?' she asked me.
"'My name is Varsha Midelli,' I replied.
"'That's the name of one of Kabble's lot. The second-in-command!' Nuria stood up and snarled, 'You're a badger, though!'
"'Please,' I begged, 'listen to me. Kabble is not just the full name of that vile rat. It is Kabble Ionaeyes the Magician!'
"I then told Nuria all about Kabble and his magic-making, his hypnotizing, everything. I told her about Nakkreul, about the Badgerlord, what the next plan was, EVERYTHING.
"'Promise to tell no one about this, Nuria Firemouth. Promise me.' Nuria promised.
"'But, Midelli, we'll need to tell the Redwallers SOMETHING,' Nuria exclaimed.
"'Tell them whatever you want, Firemouth. I'm off.' Nuria's eyes widened in surprise when I told her this. 'Off? off where?' she asked. I shrugged. 'Somewhere. Back to Salamandastron, most likely. I have to leave. Good bye, Firemouth.'
"Nuria nodded, sighing. 'Good bye, Midelli. Our paths may cross again.'
"I ran that night. I took two packs of food and Kabble's sword, which is now my Flamebird." Varsha gestured to her weapon. "I raced back to Salamandastron. It took me a while. I battled crabs, frogs, toads, evil vermin. When I finally got there, the Badgerlord asked me where I was that whole time. He was angry and worried. So was everybody. But...they were mainly WORRIED about me. They didn't all want me dead.
"The war had been three seasons, but it had been five seasons since I had left Salamandastron. I told the Badgerlord that I had been wandering the land trying to get rid of evils and helping Redwall to train for helping back at Salamandastron. The Badgerlord looked skeptical, but he bought it.
"On his deathbed, I told him the truth. I told him that I was sorry that I hadn't told him the truth. He was angry at me for not telling the truth. He told me, 'If Salamandastron has a ruler who lies, then how can they trust her?'
"That made me think. I was a liar. I had betrayed everyone's trust. I felt AWFUL about it. Only one goodbeast had known the truth, the Badgerlord had, but he was dead.
"Now I had only myself to live with the secret that has haunted me all these years. And now...you know it."
() End of chaptero fifteen! Yessssss! Okay, have limited time before laptop dies so listen to my brill idea.
BRILL IDEA: I write a first chapter of a Redwall fic. Then, I post it. Then, someone email me with the second chapter. I post that. Then, people send me chapters to go with the story. One of those continue-on stories! If you don't get it, email me at brynkeanefarrell.com. Also, does anyone know ff.net's email address? I want to email them and tell them to have another category! ()