Title – The Price We Pay: R Version 3/12
Rating – R
Disclaimer – I own none of this, it all unfortunately belongs to Rowling. I just have the honor of using her creations in my story.
Summary – Dumbledore returns to Hogwarts with Snape, the full extent of his injuries is revealed and a decision is made.
Pairings – SS/LV, SS/LM, SS/Death Eaters and hints of HP/DM
Warnings – Violence, torture, non-graphic rape, m/m slash
A/N – Hope everyone had a happy holiday and is looking forward to a new year! I'm glad you all are still enjoying this version! All reviews, corrections, suggestions and questions are welcome!! Read and enjoy!
The Price We Pay
Chapter 2
Of all the things Minerva McGonagall had expected that day the shock of hearing Albus Dumbledore telling her he was resigning as Hogwarts Headmaster was nothing compared to the shock she received later that evening. After he had dashed out of his office without so much as a word of explanation to them, letter still clutched in his hand, Minerva turned to Remus Lupin for answers. The werewolf had explained that Dumbledore had put him in charge of searching the manors of killed Death Eaters for prisoners, fugitives and evidence that could be used against those they had captured. He again told her about the circumstances of finding the letter before running after the Headmaster with a sigh.
McGonagall was now pacing the length of the entrance hall, too anxious for dinner now, when the front doors of the castle swung open. Startled she turned to see Dumbledore carrying someone wrapped in a cloak in his arms.
"Albus! What is going on? Who is -"
"I'll explain later Minerva." He interrupted, "I must get Severus to the Infirmary."
"Severus!!" Shocked into further silence McGonagall stared open mouthed at Dumbledore who paused and smiled sadly at the burden in his arms. She reached out a shaking hand to pull back the cloak, revealing Snape's bruised and bloody head tucked against Dumbledore's shoulder. She gasped and tears immediately swelled in her horrified eyes. She looked back up into sad blue eyes and could only shake her head dumbly.
"Hard to believe isn't it? I'll tell you everything once Poppy has seen to him." He told her and continued to the Infirmary, a thoroughly stunned McGonagall right behind him.
* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *
"You're cheating Malfoy."
"Why, Potter, would I need to cheat when you are doing a brilliant job of losing all by yourself?"
"I wouldn't be losing so much if you would stop cheating!"
"Oh please! Can't you two play a simple game without flirting?! Would both of you just kiss already!"
Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy turned in their hospital beds to stare at Hermione Granger, who shook her head and turned back to her advanced charms textbook. Harry smiled, while Draco sneered at her and Ron and Ginny Weasley snickered quietly from the other side of Harry's bed. Hermione looked up and continued her tirade,
"And you two can't play chess without physical fighting! I'm surprised you've managed this long without coming to blows. Siblings!! You all should really be using this down time to study anyway. You won't get time to yourself once you leave here, what with everyone waiting to hear our versions of the battle. Fudge almost had a heart attack when Dumbledore forbid him from even entering the castle."
"Study? Come on Hermione, you know Dumbledore postponed exams and our N.E.W.T.s until July while they get everything straightened out. We'll study later, I promise." Ron tried to appease the bushy haired Head Girl, "We can't leave the Infirmary yet anyway so a little relaxation after all that's happened isn't going to hurt. And I'm not going to worry about Fudge, that stupid git. I hope Dumbledore blasts him back to London."
Hermione pinned the redhead in a glare and Ron wisely shut up, turning back to the chess game he was playing with his sister. She then made sure they were not disrupting the other resting patients in the Infirmary and buried her nose back in her book.
"Come on Potter, let's show the Head Girl we can actually play an honest game. Without the flirting." Malfoy said and the two unlikely lovers went back to playing exploding snap. Over the last year and a half the Slytherin and Gryffindor had formed a sincere, if cautious, friendship, later turning their friendship into love. They had surprised students and staff alike when they stood to fight together during the attack on Hogwarts. When asked what spurred the improbable change of heart Harry shrugged and Draco only said 'Professor Snape told me last year that sometimes you have put aside hatred and pride to defeat a common foe' before becoming strangely silent and moody. No one had questioned their relationship again.
A peaceful silence soon filled the Infirmary as the remaining patients settled down for a calm evening. Only a dozen students remained in the care of Madame Pomfrey, the rest having been released or in the most serious cases, transferred to St. Mungo's with the injured members of the Ministry and Order of the Phoenix. The Hogwarts nurse now walked between the aisles of beds, checking on her charges and making sure they all had dinner. She had just reached Malfoy's bed when Headmaster Dumbledore burst into the Hospital Wing carrying a small bundle, Professor McGonagall hot on his heels.
"Poppy I require your assistance over here. Is the private room available?"
Pomfrey looked startled at the abrupt entrance but was completely professional as she waved them into the private room of the Infirmary. The three adults disappeared into far room, leaving the students to share very confused glances and whisper amongst themselves.
* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *
Madame Poppy Pomfrey took one look at Snape, who was still wrapped in Dumbledore's cloak, and managed to suppress her own gasp of horror. Years of healing the former spy had hardened her to the brutalities of Voldemort and other Death Eaters, but nothing could prepare her for the pathetic sight before her and she closed her eyes briefly to gather her strength. Ignoring the many questions she wanted to ask at the moment she turned to the Headmaster with a frown and said firmly,
"Wait outside with Minerva Albus. Give me some time."
Dumbledore actually growled at her and sat resolutely in a chair at the head of the bed, hard blue eyes never wavering from hers.
"I'm not moving Poppy, so tell me what to do."
Pomfrey sighed and knowing it was an argument she would lose, she let the older wizard stay. She began to gather the many potions and supplies she would need, sending McGonagall to find clean blankets. Turning back to the bed she smiled at the sight of Dumbledore gently stroking Snape's dirty cheek, whispering something in his ear. Resting a hand on his shoulder she said in a softer tone,
"Let's get him cleaned up and get his physical injuries healed first Albus."
Dumbledore smiled weakly at her and together they unwrapped Snape from the cloak. McGonagall returned with the blankets and set them on a table before excusing herself quickly to take care of the curious students. Pomfrey caught the glint of tears in her eyes before she left.
It took three tries of a cleaning spell before pale white skin could be seen and the rest of the blood and grime was gently wiped off with a sponge and warm water. His hair had grown quite long and was so disgusting neither wanted to touch it. It was so dirty and infested with vermin that Pomfrey was forced to shave it almost completely off with her wand.
Burns on Snape's stomach, chest and groin were treated with a salve, then a healing potion brushed over the skin. Each and every cut and abrasion was healed with a potion she poured over the wounds, eliciting a faint grimace from their patient. The worst of the infected sores and cuts Pomfrey had to cleanse with a very strong disinfectant spell, and then tightly cover with special bandages. She administered an anti-fever potion and a potion to deal with magical infections. Only time would tell if Snape would be strong enough to overcome the infection raging within him.
Whip marks crisscrossing Snape' back were treated with a mending potion then a strong healing spell. Even the strongest magic could not remove all the scars and Pomfrey shared a sad look with Dumbledore as they stared at the thin, ropy marks.
The raw flesh of Snape's wrists and ankles were cleansed thoroughly before they too were wrapped in healing bandages. The Dark Mark, Dumbledore noted, had vanished with the death of Voldemort and he rubbed a cool salve over the red, heavily scratched and scarred forearm. The dark bruises that covered the pale skin were also healed with a potion brushed over the skin until they faded to a yellow-green.
Next Pomfrey moved to the numerous broken bones. Snape's lower right leg had been broken in several places by something heavy and she had to use her wand to heal the compound fracture. She teased almost a whole bottle of Ultra Skele-Grow down the unconscious man's throat and waited while it mended the broken collarbone, kneecaps and ribs. His broken nose she set by hand and his broken jaw was gently guided into its correct position before being bound for further healing. A gash dangerously close to his left eye was sealed and a blindfold was wrapped around his eyes to protect them from all light until they could adjust and be healed later with magic.
Reaching over Dumbledore gently picked up one of Snape's hands in his own. The once elegant hands had been cruelly twisted and smashed into deformed claws. The long fingers were broken no doubt by Voldemort who knew how much Severus needed his hands to make his treasured potions. He wondered what the brutal injury had done to Snape's spirit.
Pomfrey looked up and placed he tip of her wand against the deformed hands to run a diagnostic spell. Apparently satisfied with the results she then bound the hands securely so they could not move and said,
"Could be worse Albus, but I think his hands should heal properly. Someone obviously broke them repeatedly and then reset them to break again. This time they didn't bother to set them; it is a common practice with torture victims that we know how to heal."
The wizard nodded at her but did not look up or say anything. Suppressing her sigh Pomfrey then scanned for internal injuries using another diagnostic spell. She frowned at the results then cast the spell again to be absolutely positive of her results. Praying to Merlin for strength she forced herself to meet Dumbledore's curious stare. Pomfrey wondered if he had already guessed the full extent of Snape's injuries and how he had received most of them. Now she did release a grim sigh and said,
"He has some internal injuries I need to heal Albus."
Dumbledore nodded, his eyes all too innocent and not quite aware of what the nurse was talking about.
"Is there a potion you need me to retrieve Poppy?"
"No. I need to heal these injuries with my wand. I will need you to roll Severus to his side and hold him in place while I do this." Pomfrey had tried to put the situation as delicately as possible and still Dumbledore's eyes widened in horror and his face paled to match the color of his beard. He swallowed thickly a few times and said in a strangled voice,
"I could almost sense the …sex when I entered his cell. Riddle's letter alluded to such actions, but I did not want to believe him." He sighed, "Do what you have to Poppy."
Pomfrey waited until Dumbledore had gently rolled Snape to one side before casting the spells necessary to heal the torn and mangled insides. She nodded once to signify she was done and they repositioned the injured wizard on his back again. Giving the Headmaster a few moments to recuperate, Pomfrey poured another potion down Snape's throat to heal his battered internal organs and made a lengthy note about his low weight and disturbing tremor on a waiting scroll.
The major wounds had finally been cleaned and tended and they wrapped Snape in the blankets and charmed them with a warming spell. Pomfrey finally gave him a pain-relieving potion and placed him in a healing sleep to further aide the healing processes. The physical injuries would eventually heal with time and rigorous therapy. Dumbledore stroked a thin arm as the nurse sat down beside him and sighed wearily. Never in all her years of healing had she seen such a horrible case of abuse and torture. And the ordeal was truly just beginning.
"I've done all I can for him Albus." Pomfrey began and then hesitated, "But I believe he should be moved to St. Mungo's as soon as possible. They are better equipped to deal with any complications once he wakes. There are experts to deal with that inhibiting collar and the overall trauma."
The Headmaster turned his head slowly to look at her and she could clearly read the guilt and confusion in his eyes. He shook his head replying,
"No Poppy I will not leave him. Severus will stay here and we will summon a healer if necessary. I abandoned him to this and he will be my responsibility."
She laid a hand over his and looked sympathetically at both the young man who had suffered through so much and the old wizard who was suffering along with him. Pomfrey had picked up several strange readings during her diagnostic spells and knew it would take a lot of time and patience if Severus had any hope of getting better.
"Albus I don't think you are understanding me here. Severus is going to need the kind of care only St. Mungo's can provide. He cannot stay here for very long. I think St. Mungo's would be better for him in the long term."
A cold demeanor suddenly came across Dumbledore and for a second Pomfrey was afraid she had said the wrong thing too soon. He had just rescued Severus from hell on earth after believing him dead for so long. Everyone, especially Albus, would need time to adjust. Dumbledore's blue eyes flared dangerously as he replied,
"I am not going to institutionalize him Poppy. I just rescued him from a dungeon cell and I refuse to place him in another one. Severus will get better, I will make sure of that." They stared at each other, neither backing down, the only sound being Snape's slow breathing. Finally Dumbledore averted his gaze back to Snape and sighed sadly. "8 months Poppy, 8 months he was in the hands of a monster who took out his hatred of me out on him. I was the one who sent him back to Riddle; he suffered through the last 3 years because I asked him to. I just found him, I cannot, I will not lose him again."
"I know Albus, I know. This has been yet another long, trying day. Get some sleep and come back tomorrow morning and we can talk more then."
"No Poppy I'll be staying here tonight. We can talk now."
Pomfrey smoothed the blankets and watched as Snape turned his head away from the hand stroking him. In sleep the lines of pain and age had fallen off his face and he looked so very young. Completely different from the sarcastic, greasy Potions Master who prowled the halls and terrorized the students with a tongue sharper than a dagger. Instead he looked almost childlike, sleeping somewhat peacefully. 'Unfortunately,' thought Pomfrey, 'that may be what he will be like when he wakes.'
"All right. But the moment this all becomes too much for Severus I'm owling the healers at Mungo's and making arrangements for his transfer." Another pause from Pomfrey and Dumbledore had the distinct feeling he was not going to like what she was about to tell him. "When I scanned him earlier some unusual readings came up. I can see right away he is malnourished and the tremor comes from repeated use of the cruciatus. I suppose he is lucky there, You-Know-Who clearly wanted him to be sane and functional to a point because its use was regulated. The inhibiting collar is suppressing his natural magical abilities and keeping him helpless. It should be taken off right away, tomorrow we can prepare for its removal. All these things can be cured in time and don't really concern me. It's the other results of the scan I am worried about."
"What could possibly be worse than what we have seen tonight Poppy?"
"His state of mind Albus. I also read multiple overdoses of Veritaserum and other powerful mind altering potions, which have dangerous long-term side effects on certain areas of the brain. His magical signature seems broken or altered somehow. The only explanation I have for it is that Voldemort must have finally broken through his mental shields, took a look around and didn't bother picking up the shards. Even the best Occlumens, like Severus, could be overcome by a strong enough will. Factor in the physical torture and sexual abuse and things don't look good. What all this means is that we won't know his mental capacity or emotional state until he wakes."
Silence followed her explanation. The Headmaster removed his glasses and rubbed the bridge of his nose saying,
"Thank you Poppy, for everything. Would you please tell Minerva I am calling an emergency staff meeting tomorrow morning after breakfast?"
"Of course. Severus should sleep for the night without any problems, but come and get me if anything should happen. We'll get him through this Albus, he's stronger than you think."
With that Pomfrey exited the room, closing the door securely behind her. Dumbledore stared at the door for a while then looked back to Snape. The ill wizard did not move save for the random twitching of limbs and the tremor. He spent hours soothing his lost child before the reassuring sounds of his soft breathing lulled him to sleep.
* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *
The next morning Dumbledore woke when he felt another presence enter the small room. Rubbing the sleep from his eyes, he groaned as sore muscles protested against spending the night in an uncomfortable chair. He glanced over at Snape, who was still sleeping deeply with face turned towards the pale sunlight drifting in through the window. Brushing back the short strands of black hair Dumbledore remembered the reason for his waking and turned to meet the cool gaze of Draco Malfoy.
Malfoy was standing at the foot of Snape's bed, watching his former professor with sad gray eyes. No other emotion was readable on his face as he stood with arms hanging limply at his side. Dumbledore wondered how Draco had managed to sneak past the usually strict Pomfrey to enter this room, but then realized the crafty Slytherin would disregard any rules to satisfy his curiosity.
"Good morning Mr. Malfoy. I see last night did not escape your notice."
Young Malfoy said nothing but continued to stare at his former Head of House. A hand came up to hold his left forearm self-consciously and he said in a strained voice,
"I promise you Headmaster I had no idea he was alive. My father told me nothing except Professor Snape was getting what he deserved." These last words were sneered as Malfoy continued to rub the bandages of his left arm; "I swear I had no idea where he was."
The Headmaster rose and stood by the young man who had given so much to the Order. For all the accusations of unfairness and blatant favoritism thrown at Professor Snape, he protected and guided his Slytherins like no one else at the school could have done. He deftly encouraged them to make their own choices and not succumb to the pressure their parents leveled on them. When the time came Slytherin House stood with the rest of the school and many of his charges, led by Draco, surprisingly turned away from Lord Voldemort and their parents.
Draco Malfoy, for all his pride, arrogance and attitude, had taken the loss of Professor Snape quite hard. Dumbledore had been pleased, but not very surprised, to find the younger Malfoy waiting for him in his office shortly before winter break. He had casually revealed the Dark Mark on his arm and then vowed to honor Snape by offering the same spying services to the Order of the Phoenix. How Draco knew Snape had been their spy the Headmaster did not ask, but he suspected Lucius might have inadvertently told a few things to his son that should not have been revealed. It had taken several weeks before Dumbledore could trust the information the jaded Slytherin brought him and eventually he developed a working relationship with the proud Slytherin similar to the one he had with Snape. In the months that followed Malfoy insisted he did not know what had happened to Snape and would snap viciously at anyone who suggested otherwise. Guilt, it appeared, was in abundance this morning.
"I believe you Draco. This is nobody's fault but Voldemort's. We will make a school wide announcement concerning Professor Snape after breakfast. You best return to your bed now before Madame Pomfrey discovers you are gone."
Malfoy tore his eyes away from Snape to smirk and answer, "Actually I talked Potter and Weasley into covering for me while I came in here." The smirk abruptly vanished and turned into a pained grimace. He swallowed and closed his eyes briefly, as if gathering the strength to continue. When Malfoy opened his eyes, they were quite solemn, "Did they …was he… my father probably did…" He trailed off uncertainly.
"I think you know the answer to your own questions Draco." Dumbledore answered gently, "But yes, there are signs of repeated sexual abuse and torture and one can only assume your father was involved. Surely during meetings you-"
"NO!! Absolutely not! There was no bloody way I would have participated in the Dark Revels or interrogation sessions. My father may have enjoyed raping and torturing others, but I am not my father." Malfoy stopped his rant and asked softly, "Will he be all right Headmaster? Can I visit him when he wakes?"
"We don't know Mr. Malfoy." Dumbledore replied honestly, "As to further visits, I doubt Madame Pomfrey will allow visitors for quite some time. Unfortunately Severus is in a very fragile mental state right now and I don't think it would be safe for you to visit until he can differentiate between you and Lucius." Malfoy practically shook in anger at this regrettable revelation and Dumbledore put a comforting hand on the Slytherin's shoulder. "Have hope and a little faith in Severus Draco, give him some time. Now back to bed with you, perhaps you will be able to visit later."
Malfoy frowned at him before nodding hesitantly. He took one last look at his professor and slipped out of the room as quietly as he had come. Dumbledore stared at the door, admiring the devotion the Slytherins had to their Head of House then sat back down. He absently ran his fingers over the shorn head, murmuring to himself,
"Where did things go wrong Severus? When did we fail you? Oh my love I am so sorry. More sorry than you will ever know." He became lost in his own guilty thoughts for a while, watching the sleeping man and turning Pomfrey's words over in his mind. Snape would not be the same man he was before he was captured, that much was clear. He would need time and gentle handling if he was to recover. Slowly his heart came to a decision and he smiled, pleased with himself. Dumbledore knew exactly what he would do now that Hogwarts would no longer be a part of his life. He would have the all the time and love in the world to take care of Severus, to help him heal.
Dumbledore sat going over his options until a knock at the door caused him to look up. Pomfrey came in and began attending to her patient, changing bandages, casting more healing spells and giving him more potions. The nurse finished with her work and told him,
"He should sleep a bit longer. I'll check for any leftover curses and examine the collar while you are at your meeting. Take the morning to freshen up and eat Albus. I do not want to see you here as a patient."
"Thank you Poppy. I'll return shortly then. Let me know if anything changes."
Pomfrey nodded and walked with him to the doors of the Infirmary. As he walked up to his office Dumbledore knew in his heart he had made the right choices and he was going to see them through to the end. Now he had to explain his choices to his staff.
* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *
Trying to be heard over Hagrid's sudden wailing Dumbledore gave a sharp whistle and waited until the attention of the staff returned to him. Hagrid continued to blubber incoherently into his handkerchief though he calmed down enough for the Headmaster to continue. The staff had been saddened to hear about Snape and stunned to hear about his retirement and asked the normal curious questions while offering to take turns sitting with the injured professor. Snape and the rest of the staff may have had their numerous angry arguments in public, but in private they had grudgingly learned to respect the Potions Master and Snape had learned to tolerate the presence of his colleagues. Some of the staff, like McGonagall and Sinistra, had even earned Snape's tentative friendship, something the Headmaster said was not given easily. But while even Dumbledore grew frustrated and angry with Snape at times, only he could claim ownership of something even more valuable. Snape's trust. He just hoped this shell of the former Severus retained some of that inherent trust.
"Like I said before I will be assisting Minerva in the transition over the summer. I expect her to have your usual support as she assumes more of my duties and responsibilities. Which brings me to my next announcement." A fond smile formed on Dumbledore's lips, "Once the transition is final I will be retiring to my summer home with Severus and I am making it my new responsibility to assist with his recovery."
This announcement was met with encouraging smiles and various bits of advice from everyone. Once again Hagrid burst into tears murmuring, "Great man, Dumbledore," into his now very wet handkerchief. The staff meeting ended on a bittersweet yet supportive note. Dumbledore took a few minutes to reassure each of his professors personally that he was firm in his decisions and he would always be there to support Hogwarts. Finally the staff reluctantly left to attend to various business around the castle, leaving Dumbledore and his deputy alone. Dumbledore sighed and stroked his beard, lost in his thoughts again. He found he could barely concentrate on other school matters, his mind always drifting back to Severus. Minerva, it appeared, was thinking the same thoughts as she finally stood and said,
"We'll never get work done now Albus. You look dead on your feet and in need of some food and rest. I'll take care of the announcements to the students during lunch." The witch patted his shoulder and straightened her hat before exiting the office. Deciding to follow the advice of the two fiery witches and avoid an argument over his own health, he washed and changed robes then ordered some lunch from the house elves. Anxious to return to the Infirmary, Dumbledore was hurrying through his meal when he heard his name being called through the castle floo network. He was very surprised and worried when Pomfrey's grave face appeared in his fireplace. She glanced back over her shoulder at someone, concern in her voice as she exclaimed,
"Albus!! Severus is awake! Please get down here right away!"
*TBC*
Reader Responses -
Renton – Oh yes, this will be way more intense than the first one, hope you're prepared!!
Lilith11 – I haven't quite decided yet if this will have SS/AD slash, I'll make a decision in a few chaps. I also consider them more like father and son, but I'll see where this one takes me before I decide to write them in a definite sexual relationship!
Alle – The middle chaps will have the heaviest changes, so be sure to stay tuned!
Rosaleen – I love to spoil you readers! You spoil me with your awesome reviews! :)
Droxy – Oh yes I can make this darker! *Grins evilly* You want darker? You got it! ;)
N Snape – More angst coming right up! Thanks!