CHAPTER 5

Into the Tunnel

The first month of Hogwarts flew by fast for the three friends. They enjoyed each one of their classes, including Defense Against the Dark Arts. Sirius swore to himself he'd never look on page 397 again. He knew he would have to face that creature again at the end of the semester, but it would be best to delay the return of the illustration for as long as he could.

It turned out that James really did need a tutor in Herbology, since he was so awful at the subject. It wasn't that he was dumb in any sense of the word; actually, both he and Sirius were two of the brightest wizards their age. Their lack of good marks only could be blamed on the fact that they were unable to focus their minds for one second before they were both distracted by some sort of flower pot that needed blowing up or chicken skeleton that needed to dance. In lieu of these circumstances, Professor Sprout had appointed him a student helper on the third day, after he had been knocked out cold by a Mandrake after "not hearing instructions." R. J. Lupin, Herbologist extraordinaire, had been assigned to guide him through his homework for that night.

James and Sirius joked about the entire situation on the way back to the dormitory. It was mostly out of humility on James's part. Everyone had gotten quite a relief out of the fact that James wasn't perfect at everything, especially Lily Evans. She had been laughing when he awoke on the greenhouse floor.

"Stupid Sprout," James sniffed as they walked to the common room. "What does she know? And since when am I going to need to know about that plant stuff anyways? I'm going to be on the Chudley Cannons when I get out of here! Like Darsing. She's already given me a brochure about tryouts-"

"Password?" the Fat Lady interrupted.

"Dragon dung," James said offhandedly, before continuing on with his grunts. "I mean, I don't even need my O.W.L.s in that class. I think I'll drop it after second year. Go into Divination or something."

R. J. Lupin was already sitting in one of the puffed up chairs by the fireplace. He had brought a coffee table to the foot of the chair, and was laying his papers out perfectly on its surface. He looked scared out of his mind.

"Good luck," Sirius said, and he escaped up the spiral staircase.

James sighed, mussed his hair again, and took the seat next to the silvery haired boy. Remus looked at James in great surprise and sat back in his chair.

"Oh, I wasn't expecting you to show," he said quietly.

"Really?" James said, and leaned forward. "Thought I was a flunk out, huh?"

"Not quite." Remus went back to shuffling the papers. "A flunk out couldn't ride a broom that well."

James snorted and gave out a little chuckle. "So, I'm James Potter. Don't think we've properly met."

Remus looked at his extended hand, and the corner of his mouth curled upwards. He shook hands and said enthusiastically, "Remus Lupin."

"Cool." James leaned back in his chair and crossed his legs. "So, you going to teach me all this ruddy plant stuff?"

"No," Remus said bravely, "I'm going to help you with all this ruddy plant stuff." He handed him a book with a large weed on the front. "Can you open up to chapter two?"

"Sure," James flipped through the pages. He read aloud, "Plants are your friends. Interesting, and yet --- not so much."

Remus raised his eyebrow at James and then flipped his own book to the page. "They're talking about cures for magical diseases and jinxes. You may need to know that. What if you're sick right before a Quidditch tournament, and you need a quick cure? You'll be wishing for plants to be your friends. And you'll regret not listening to me."

James stared at this little boy. He was bossing him around! This little mousy boy was actually talking to him like an adult! The kid had nerve, he decided. The kid was all right by him.

Maybe he could play wizard's chess with me and the guys later, James thought, looking at his tutor. His tutor was looking back at him earnestly.

"Well?"

"Well what?"

"You didn't hear a single word I said, did you?"

"Of course I did."

"So," Remus said, prodding him on. James waited for more to come, but nothing followed Remus' 'so'.

"So…what?"

Remus sighed. "The bubotubers. What are they used for?"

"They're --- used --- for ---" James searched the textbook page. Nothing about bubotubers. "A lot of things."

"Like?"

"Like --- erm --- herbs. And cures for magical diseases --- and --- and jinxes."

"A little more specific?"

"I --- hey, look over there! Carl's got a Mirva card! They do exist!"

James looked at Remus hopefully, but he was not budging. He didn't look very amused, either. Remus ran his fingers through his whitened hair and sighed a long and tired sigh.

"This isn't going to work," he said in his hoarse voice. "You don't want to learn. I can't force you to learn. Lily was right. You are a-"

"Wait a minute," James perked up, and glared at Remus. "Lily? Lily Evans?"

"Yes," he said. "What about her?"

"What did she say?"

Remus shook his head. "Nothing. She just said that it would be impossible to teach you. And she was right. I'm wasting your time, I can see, so I'll-"

"Wait a second, Remus," James said, pushing him back into his chair with a thud. "I'm not hopeless. I'm here to learn. I find Herbology a very interesting subject, really. And I think you can make me the greatest Herbolomer ever."

"It's Herbologist," Remus corrected.

"Yeah, right --- sure, I knew that," James shrugged. "Now please don't give up on me. I swear I'll listen."

Remus sighed again, and opened his book to the second chapter to return to his duties. James smiled and felt a liking towards this boy more than ever.

From that night on, James and Remus sat for at least an hour, reading over the Herbology textbook until they were ahead of the class and ahead of Lily Evans. James smiled to himself. That thought gave him satisfaction. Who needed her anyways? She was just a girl. There were plenty more at Hogwarts.

Remus had also begun to befriend Sirius when Sirius had also fallen behind on his studies. Yet it was Defense Against the Dark Arts for him, and Defense Against the Dark Arts turned out to be Remus' specialty. Soon it was found to be Sirius's strong spot as well, as soon as he began to render his thoughts a little less to jinxing the Slytherins and more to writing his inches of parchment.

Soon the three boys could be found dutifully curled up by the fire from six to six thirty with Professor Sprout's diagrams, and six thirty to seven with Professor Klien's worksheets. Peter would sometimes sit behind them on one of the couches, eating Every Flavor Beans and peering down their back intently at every single motion they made. Sometimes he would pipe up and ask a question about something or other, and Remus would happily explain. It was a miracle, the rest of the Gryffindor students thought, to see Sirius Black and James Potter sitting down for a lesson during their free time. They didn't even listen in class, let alone any other time of the day. They thought Remus to be a miracle worker because he could make them sit down on a scheduled basis and actually study.

Remus was filled with joy. He was making new friends. The three boys were the closest thing to real companions that he had ever had. His entire life he had been at home with his mother and father only to keep him company. They hadn't dared send him to Muggle school or let him play with any of the other children. That is, the other children didn't want to be around him. But now his entire life had changed. Not one of them knew who…what…resided inside of him. They didn't know about him. And Remus was going to keep it that way.

Yet the night of the twenty-seventh drew nearer, and one evening, Remus caught himself looking at the calendar that was hung on the wall. It was the twenty-seventh. He wouldn't be able to tutor them tomorrow. He would have to tell them that. Somehow he would have to make it sound nonchalant.

"Uh, guys," he said, opening his mouth to speak. James and Sirius were too busy laughing over an abstract picture of a boggart. It showed a mummy wrapped in pink bows.

"Guys," he said a little louder, and James looked up at him.

"Yeah?" he said.

"Well, I just wanted to tell you that I'm not going to be able to tutor you tomorrow night."

"And why not?" James said, snapping to attention, "Professor Klien said we're going to have a quiz on grindylows two days from now! You've got to help us cram."

"You're going to have to do it by yourself," he said quietly before standing up. "I got an owl today from my Mum. I'm leaving for two days. She's really sick. I want to see her."

James looked like he was going to comment on Remus' story, but Sirius elbowed him in the ribs and said, "Oh, all right. Sure. Hope she's okay. I'll help James with his studying."

"Okay, thanks," Remus whispered, feeling as if he was going to cry. If only he could stay and help them with grindylows. If only he could delay it just for a few hours. But no, he had to remember the safety of the students. Dumbledore trusted him to be wise about his decisions. He couldn't let Dumbledore down after all that he had done for him.

All of a sudden, he felt very sick.

Professor Snorks rapped on the door the following evening. The Fat Lady screamed an "Oh my word!" and Remus, with his shabbiest robes on, ran out of the common room, and opened the portrait from behind. He was already starting to feel it creep up behind him. Start to strangle him. He had to get out of the school. Before the clouds let the moon shine through.

"Ah, there you are, Remus," Professor Snorks said joyfully as Remus shut the Fat Lady behind him. "Just in time, too, I see. Yes, the clouds are parting. Hurry now. We haven't much time."

Remus coughed and followed Snorks to the bottom of the tower, where Professor Sprout stood waiting as well. She had a very large stick in one hand and a steel something in her other. She was trying to hide it from sight, but Remus knew what it was. It was cuffs. And the cuffs were for him. He was a monster.

"Now cheer up, dear," Sprout said as they escorted him out of the school and onto the grounds. "It'll all be over soon."

Remus moaned. He looked up at the sky where the moon began to peak out of his hiding place. It had been a rainy day, filled with clouds. But now they were dispersing, and the clear night sky was beginning to take form. If only it could be delayed for just a minute or two. Just so he could get through the tree and into the tunnel. Just a few minutes. Oh, please.

But whoever was in charge of the stars and the moon and the clouds did not hear his plea. Either that or they did not care for this helpless boy with a monster residing inside his heart. Just as soon as the three had reached the Willow, the moon's rays shone bright upon the ground.

"No!" Remus choked, and he fell limp in Snorks' arms. Snorks grabbed him and swung him over his shoulder. Remus was writhing, trying to get free of his grasp.

"Let me go! Let me go!"

"Hurry, Professor!" Snorks shouted at Sprout as she ducked a branch taking a swing at her. She extended the stick to touch a knot in the trunk, and all of a sudden, the Willow was still. Beneath the tree, Remus could faintly make out a dark hole. Is that where they were going? Into the darkness. Oh, please let it be so.

"LET ME GO!" he screamed.

Snorks tightened his grip on the little boy, and descended into the black tunnel below. Sprout stayed behind, darting her gaze around the grounds, making sure that no one saw what had just happened. No one was in sight. They were safe this time.

Into the darkness Snorks went. Remus was twitching in pain. He couldn't take it anymore. Just let him die! Leave him here and let him die! Let it end!

"PLEASE HELP ME!" he screeched as Snorks started to ascend into the bright light again. Remus closed his eyes. They were trying to kill him! It was the moonlight again! The pain increased, and then doubled.

"OH PLEASE NOOOOO!"

Snorks set him down in what felt like a couch. Was he back in the common room? Were Sirius and James there? Was it already time to start studying? Which was first? Herbology or ---

"AAAAHH!" The pain tripled throughout his body. "AAAAH -"

The scream turned into a howl. Snorks stood there, staring. He was paralyzed with fear. He was staring at him. He couldn't move. Remus felt anger boil up inside of him. How dare he stare! How dare he stand there and fear him! Snorks quickly jumped back through the hole and slammed the door.

"NOOO!" Remus screamed, holding onto his voice. "DON'T LEAVE ME ALONE! PLEASE COME BACK! PLEASE DON'T LEAVE ME ALONE!"

And then another howl escaped his mouth, and he was forgotten. Forgotten by Dumbledore, forgotten by Sprout, forgotten by Snorks. And most of all, forgotten by Remus.

Remus no longer reigned here in this unknown place. He was powerful, unlike Remus. He was swift and strong and bold and brave. He was the wolf of the night, the predator of the woods.

He was almighty.

He sniffed the room. Blood. Fresh blood. It was his own. The only blood there was. He saw his leg. He saw the blood in the veins underneath the flesh. He saw it beat to a pulse that was alive. He saw the red mixing with the purples and the blues. The blood was alive. The blood --- was --- all --- his ---

The wolf howled again as he collapsed on the floor. His leg was gushing red now. He had just bit himself. Had just tried to eat his own ---

He growled and smelled another fresh scent. Blood! Blood again! Oh, how he was hungry! Food! Flesh!

He screamed in a howl and fell again, his chest now punctured with fang marks. He lay, dazed for a moment, before he saw the red on the floor, and leapt towards it. He lapped it up. It tasted so warm. So refreshing. He must have more.

The wolf saw his own footprint, in a reddish liquid, and pounced on it. He must have that satisfying taste! He must drink more! He must have more!

There was another wolf here! He could see him in the glass! He was looking right at him. He had fang marks on his chest as well.

The wolf charged, and with a shatter, the mirror broke on top of him. Blood! He could smell it even more so now. It was everywhere! It was covering him! Eat it! Drink it! Savor it!

Soon the blood was gone, and he needed more. He needed more flesh! More food! More ---
He howled a chilling scream again, and his side became red with teeth marks.

The wolf was mad. The wolf was raging now. Nobody bit him! Nobody!

He struck.. Another unearthly howl. Another pain shot up his leg and into his brain.

The moon's light was unmerciful. It shone on the back of creature. Its hair stood on end. His muscles began to shake. He was powerful! He was strong! He was the wolf!

What woke him in the morning was the sound of footsteps behind the trap door. He was too weak to raise his head to look at his visitor. His mouth was caked in red. His robes were wrapped around his body like a large blanket. He was so exhausted. He couldn't stay awake.

Professor Snorks' face appeared from the dark tunnel, and stared at the child in horror. Remus lay on the floor, his arms limply by his sides. They were covered in claw marks and teeth had penetrated them, he could tell. His hair was a little whiter, and under his eyes…large black circles. His cloaks were shredded, and his breathing was shallow.

"My God," Snorks whispered as he ran to the little boy's aide. Remus was unresponsive to him, and only groaned a little when Snorks picked him up in his arms.

"Mum," he croaked.

"Shhh, Remus," Snorks said, and descended back into the tunnel.

Remus dozed in and out of consciousness. He remembered Professor Sprout's face when she got her first glimpse of him. The sun was just rising. It was early in the morning. Before classes. He knew that the teachers were surprised. He remembered faintly that Dumbledore had instructed Snorks to escort him to his first class.

That was a laugh.

"Oh, my dear," Professor Sprout said, and she took Remus' lifeless hand as they made their way through the school and to the hospital wing.

He could faintly see Madame Pomfrey's face as she fussed over him, tutting about this and that, cleaning his cuts and bruises. Washing the blood off of his face. Changing his robes. Setting him in a bed far away from all of the other patients.

Remus lay there. He couldn't keep his eyes open. He was dead to the world. He was dying. He was so weak. Bloody moon. Why him?

His shallow breaths became quieter, and Professor McGonagall's and Headmaster Dumbledore's voices could be heard.

"I don't think he'll be making it to class today, Minerva," Dumbledore whispered.

"It's worse than we thought," Professor McGonagall added.

"Well, I'll give him some chocolate and some Bloodjuice," Madame Pomfrey whispered. "That may help him feel better. Poor little tyke."

"Have you ever seen anything like it, Albus?" Professor McGonagall asked.

"No, I have not."

Let them talk, Remus thought, let them gawk at the monster. I'm used to it. I'm-

He choked again, and gave out a wail.

"Oh, shh," Madame Pomfrey whispered, patting his hand,"You'll be fine. Just a few scratches." Turning back to Dumbledore, she added, "It could have been worse. He could have been killed."

"I would be more than happy to accompany him to the Shack next month," Professor McGonagall offered, but Dumbledore must have said no, because nothing else was said on the subject.

"He must battle his own monsters," Dumbledore said before leaving the ward.

He must battle his own monsters, Remus repeated to himself. These words ran through his head until finally he dozed back into peaceful sleep and dreamt of fireplaces and textbooks.

Remus hadn't shown in the first period class. Or lunch. Or even dinner. He was gone the entire day. Finally, he arrived, worn out and tired, in the common room around eight o' clock. Sirius and James confronted him as soon as he entered through the portrait's hole.

"Where were you?" Sirius asked.

"My mum's real sick," Remus murmured, not looking any of them in the eye. He looked horrible. Spooked, almost. They had never seen him like this before, and it scared them.

"Is she that bad?" he asked Remus as Remus walked past them and to the spiral staircase.

"Uh-huh," he mumbled, and disappeared behind the balcony.

"Was it worth me flunking my quiz?" James shouted after him, but no answer came.

Sirius nudged him. "What?" James asked.

Peter still sat in his usual spot, feeding Wormtail the rat Every Flavor Beans. The rat was squealing with disgust as a horse radish flavored pellet was forced down his throat. Peter couldn't figure out what was wrong.

"I saw him up in the hospital wing this morning," a voice whispered from across the common room. It belonged to a third year by the name of Jenny Fisher. "He looked horrible. He was covered with scratch marks and blood and all sorts of things."

"Who?" her friend asked.

"That weird boy with the whitish hair? The one that just came in?"

"Yeah, that's the one," Jenny continued, and she shuddered. "He looked horrible," she repeated for emphasis.

Sirius heard this and stared after his new friend. What had happened? Why hadn't he told them?

"There's something different about that kid," Sirius grunted as he made his way back to Peter and the fireplace. "I don't know what, but there's something a little off kilter."

"Yeah," James agreed, and he followed Sirius to the front of the hearth.