CHAPTER 6
Peeves and the Feast
Professor Klein glared disdainfully as Remus entered the room on Monday morning. He slammed a book in front of the tired first year and snarled, "Let me guess, you didn't do your make up work?"
Remus shook his head, as if it were an obvious answer.
Klein snorted and then said under his breath, "So typical for your kind. Lazy, unworking thieves. You have a detention with me this evening to get caught up."
Remus was in shock. All he could do was nod and let Klein get the best of him. Klein smiled and returned to the front of the class to begin the lesson.
"Now, we are moving onto hinkypunks today. Take your parchment and quills out, and begin copying these notes," he tapped his wand onto the chalkboard, and a long outline appeared. "I want them done by the end of class."
"""""""""
All of Hogwarts was looking forward to the Halloween feast. Sirius had heard of pumpkins flying in mid air, and as much pie you could stuff in your face. He had also heard that horrible things happened on Halloween. Ah, well. Why let the legend go to waste? He and James were already beginning to piece together an amazing prank that would include Peeves the Poltergeist, a tub of pumpkin juice, and bubble gum.
It was the very morning that James and Sirius were discussing their ingenious plan in the Great Hall when it came. It was a red envelope with a pretty gold bow tied around it. But Sirius knew what it was as the owl dropped it in front of him. It was a Howler, addressed to him.
"I'd open it up if I were you," James said, staring at it in horror.
Sirius wouldn't need to open it to know what the Howler was about. He knew it was from his mother or father --- maybe both.
He tore the envelope open, and sure enough, as soon as he had touched the letter, the words echoed through the Hall, screaming and jeering at Sirius.
"SIRIUS BLACK! YOU FILTHY INGRATE! DO YOU HAVE THAT MUCH DISRESPECT TO OUR NAME THAT YOU FOUND YOURSELF IN GRYFFINDOR? YOUR COUSIN TELLS US THAT YOU'VE BEFRIENDED HALF-BREEDS! MUDBLOODS! THE HEADMASTER HIMSELF! YOU DON'T DESERVE YOUR SURNAME! YOU DON'T DESERVE THE HOUSE WE PUT OVER YOUR HEAD! DON'T BOTHER COMING HOME FOR THE HOLIDAYS, YOU LITTLE TWIT!"
The Howler ripped itself in halves, then in quarters, and lay before a smiling Sirius as it smoldered on the wooden table top. James stared at it, and then to Sirius, who was now leaning back in his chair, balancing on two legs. His head behind his hands, he sighed happily.
"Good," he said, "I'm a disgrace to the Blacks."
James went back to staring at the Howler. "I'm guessing that was your mum?"
"Oh, yeah," Sirius said, coming back to four legs. "Loving, caring, old mum. Oh, how I miss her," he wiped the remnants of the Howler off of the table, completely aware that everyone in the Hall was looking at him. He didn't care, though. Let them look. That way they would know that he was never going to be like his family. He was Sirius Black. Not son to the Blacks, but his own sort of Black.
"Wow," was all Peter managed to say, before digging into his food again.
"You know," James said, sort of looking at Sirius through the corner of his eye, "if you would like, we've got a spare room at my house for Christmas. If you'd like to come home with me in December --- I know my mum and dad wouldn't mind."
Sirius stopped his gloating for a moment and returned the half-eyed stare to James. Here was a boy that was obviously from a respectable background, inviting a Dark lineage like his into his home, his heart, and his family. No one had ever been generous towards him before, and he had to smile.
"I may take you up on that, Potter," he said, and went back to his breakfast.
From across the table, Remus Lupin looked at Sirius Black. He wanted to disappoint his family. He wanted to change. Sirius caught Remus staring, and looked up from his food. Remus only smiled, and Sirius, a little confused, smiled back.
""""""
The end of the month drew nearer, and two things were on the children's minds. Sirius, James, and Peter could only think of the great hoax they would be playing on the school. It was all in place.
Remus, on the other hand, was dreading the return of the nightmare.
He had been asked by his new friends to help out with the prank, but he had to decline. Sirius had snorted and said, "What? Scared you'll get in trouble?"
"No," Remus said, "I'm going back home again."
"Why?" Peter asked, grabbing a handful of Ever-Blowing Gum from the dormitory floor.
"My –"
"Mum, we know." James huffed and went back to hiding the tubs of pumpkin juice behind his bed. "What's new."
"Well, it isn't my fault she's sick," Remus defended himself as he helped move another tub behind his own bedpost. "It isn't like I'm choosing to go. I have to. I need to see her. What if something bad happened, and I was playing pranks here with you?"
James opened his mouth to reply to that, but Sirius stepped in yet again. "That's all right, Remus. We understand. Don't we, James?"
James grunted a "Yeah, sure" and went to help Peter with the gum packages.
"I'm sorry I can't help," Remus said soberly, "I really wish I could."
"I know, I know," James said begrudgingly.
Remus nodded and looked to the back of the tall boy, now struggling to stop the gum from blowing and popping all over the room.
"Peter! What kind of gum is this?"
"Uh --- "
James laughed and checked his watch. "You guys better get that cleaned up. Ickle Darryl is due to arrive soon."
Sirius gave a groan of disgust, and he took his wand out to make the task go faster. Remus grabbed another tub and placed it under his mattress. He had been having nightmares about the upcoming Halloween. He wanted to see Dumbledore about a new way to transform --- possibly one that included someone with him ---
He was due to see Dumbledore the night before the thirty-first, and he hoped wholeheartedly that it was because of another option.
Sadly, it wasn't. The Headmaster had only summoned him to remind him to be ready promptly at four o' clock the next evening. Remus felt anger boil up inside of him. How could this man --- so powerful, and so great --- smile at him and pretend as if nothing was wrong? He had thought that by telling his problems to Dumbledore that everything would be solved. Surely the greatest wizard ever to live would have the solution to this curse. He would be able to cure him!
No such luck.
"Sir, can I please ask if someone could accompany me tomorrow night?" Remus asked nervously. His scarred hands rubbed together again, very fast.
Dumbledore nodded and said, "Professor Snorks will escort you to the shack as always."
"No, I mean --- " Remus sighed and then shifted slightly in his seat."All night. Even if they're behind bars or something. Or in another room --- or-"
"I told you before, Remus," Dumbledore interrupted, "I cannot put that on your conscience. For you will bite them in due time. Something will happen. And I cannot let you live with that. I understand that you are afraid, Mr. Lupin. I would be, too, if I were you. Yet, I know that you are a smart lad, and that you will find your own way out of this --- misfortune. Times are changing. And we must change with them."
Remus looked into the eyes of the old Headmaster, and pleaded with him in his mind. He couldn't do it again. He wouldn't survive. Maybe he thought it was all very well and good that he mauled himself, and then was patched up in the hospital wing every month, but Remus knew that it could not continue. At least at home his mother would talk to him under the door. He would know where he was. A little bit of himself stayed alive in the monster when he heard her voice. But no one was there for him now. He was alone.
"Headmaster, could I ask you something?" Remus asked, fidgeting with his sleeves.
Dumbledore smiled again. "Yes, what is it?"
"I heard you in the hospital wing. By my bed. You were there, right?"
He smiled even wider and said, "Yes, Remus. Of course I was there."
Remus felt his eyes fall to the ground. It was carpeted in purple, "Well, you said that I had to fight my own monsters. Professor, I don't really understand what that means."
"You will someday, Mr. Lupin. Someday you will," Dumbledore said, and then he showed Remus out the door.
"""""""
October thirty-first was the date. Everything was in place. James and Sirius couldn't sit still the entire day during their classes. They were too excited about the upcoming night. Twenty tubs of pumpkin juice and forty boxes of Ever-Blowing Gum had been purchased off of the black market that consisted of the third years and their trips to Hogsmeade. Peeves was their finishing touch. Sadly, Peeves was not known for his cooperation with students and their pranks, so they were planning to trick him into the plan.
It was the night of Halloween when the students quickly filed down the marble staircase into the Great Hall. Sirius, James, and Peter had said that they wanted to see Remus off, and were allowed to stay in the common room until four o' clock.
Remus looked horrible and he was shaking constantly. He blamed it on a draft, but Sirius and James were both sweating horribly and any sign of a draft was nonexistent.
"Well, good luck tonight, you three," he said, wringing his hands together.
"Thanks," James said. "And I hope your mother feels better."
"I doubt it," Remus mumbled, and his voice broke. It must be hard to have a mother that sickly that you had to leave school to see her. James sighed. He wanted to comfort him somehow, but he doubted anything he did could help.
Sirius was oblivious to any parental love, and so he continued scanning over the map of the school. They didn't know very much about Hogwarts yet, but they did know the main corridors and halls. Sirius and James had ventured out one weekend to explore, and they had found great places. Peter had accompanied them and had drawn out the map as they walked. Upon arriving back at the common room, they had begun to skillfully plan their Halloween night. They were to disperse as soon as they saw Remus off. Professor Snorks was due to arrive any minute.
"Aren't you going to take anything with you?" James asked. Remus shook his head, and James didn't ask anything further.
A few minutes later, the Fat Lady gave out a horrible scream as a hard fist landed on her stomach. Remus shot up out of his seat, waved to his friends, and then disappeared behind the portrait.
"I'll be back tomorrow, with a little luck," he said as he shut the portrait.
Sirius stood to his feet, pointed at Peter, and said, "Go get the gum, and start chewing. James, are the tubs in place?"
James nodded and gave a thumbs up sign. "All we need is Peeves, and we're set."
"Great," Sirius said, rubbing his hands together in earnest. "Let's get this thing started."
"""""""""""
Peeves could usually be found in the third floor corridor harassing Mrs. Norris, Mr. Filch's kitten. Even for a young ball of fluff, she was feisty and didn't like to be messed with.
"Pretty little kitty goes flying out the window," Peeves said, trying to shoo Mrs. Norris to the closest window. "Fly, kitty, fly!"
"Hey, you big galoot!"
Peeves forgot about Mrs. Norris and turned around to face Sirius, who was standing with a wad of gum as big as his head.
"What did the Black brat say to Peevsey? Did he call me a galoot?" Peeves silver lip curled.
"Yeah, that's right," Sirius said bravely, and stretched the gum wad as wide as his arms could go. "Stuccio," he said quietly, and then added out loud, "Wanna do something about it?"
"Little Gryffindor brat. Black Brat. Brat's Black!" Peeves sung as he drew closer, and then finally he charged. He was planning on whizzing right through the gum wad, but it stuck on him like glue.
"Brat Black!" Peeves screeched, and Sirius ran for his life down the corridor and to the changing staircases.
"Go! Go! Go!" he screamed at James, who was waiting at the end of the first set of stairs. "He's coming!"
Pop! Pop! Pop! The Ever- Blowing Gum exploded all over the poltergeist as he floated after the two boys.
"Black Brat! Four eyed freak! Peevesy will make you pay! Pay pay pay!" Peeves howled as his face was covered in pink bubbles.
"To the Hall!" Sirius instructed, and they skidded around a corner. They passed a dark crevice where Peter stood with a sack full of feathers.
"Now!" Sirius hollered as him and James flew down another staircase. Peter bit his lip, listening to the frightening sounds of the approaching ghost.
"You will pay for your bubbles! For your trick! Peeves doesn't get tricked! Peeves only tricks you! You don't trick Peeves!"
Pop!
Pop! Pop!
"Go, Peter! What're you waiting for?" James shouted over his shoulder as they disappeared down the marble staircase, making sure to quickly dodge the ten foot wall of pumpkin juice tubs at the bottom.
Peter gulped and, shutting his eyes, let the feathers go just in time for them to be caught in the mess of wandering spirit and bubble gum.
"AAAGGGHHH! THE RAT BOY TOO! CONSPIRACY AGAINST PEEVESY! I SEE! I SEE!" Peeves shrieked as he sped off down the staircase and right into the wall of pumpkin juice. "AAAAGGHH!"
The twenty tubs slammed into the Great Hall door, and it banged open with a resounding noise. There was shrieking inside as Sirius and James appeared in the rafters of the enchanted ceiling. No one could see them, as they were disguised in the night sky. Sirius took his wand out, and James followed his action.
"Exploita!" Sirius shouted as he aimed his wand at a tub close to Lily Evans. It exploded, and the pumpkin juice was flung ten feet into the air. Lily screamed, and Dumbledore stood to survey what was happening.
"Exploita!"
"Exploita!"
One by one the twenty tubs burst into shards and slivers and the contents were spewed onto the students. Sirius and James held their sides, trying not to fall out of the rafters. Their laughing was covered by the sounds of screams below, and Professor Klein shouting and hollering, trying to clean everything up.
Pop!
Pop! Pop!
"RAT BOY! RAT BOY!" Peeves screamed as he came sliding into the Great Hall, bubbles still exploding on his body.
There was a larger scream as everyone ran to the opposite side of the hall and ducked behind the teacher's table. Peeves continued flying through the room, trying to scrape the gum off of his transparent self. Nothing was working.
Peter ran in and looked from one drenched student to another, and finally at Peeves. His face was one of pure horror.
"Oh my --- " he mouthed.
Professor Dumbledore seemed to have enough, and he walked to Peeves and raised his wand. "Imparius!" he said forcefully, and the bubble gum dropped to the floor. Peeves gave one more howl, and then pointed his white finger at Peter.
"RAT BOY DID IT! HIM AND HIS TWO LITTLE RAT FRIENDS! BLACK BRAT AND FOUR EYES! OH THEY ARE IN TROUBLE NOW! DUMBLY DOOR KNOWS ABOUT THEIR PRANK ON PEEVESY! PEEVESY DID NOTHING TO THEM!"
Peter gulped as Dumbledore glanced over to him, and then, surprisingly, up to the rafters and right at Sirius. He shook his head and pointed his wand to the enchanted ceiling.
"Dissapparto," he said offhandedly, and the night sky disappeared from sight to reveal a wooden ceiling and two first years hanging on for dear life by their limbs. Sirius smiled, trying not to break out in another fit of laughter.
"Hello, Professor," he said weakly. "Happy Halloween!"
"""""""""""
"I would have expected better of you, Pettigrew," Professor McGonagall scolded. They were in her office, standing in a line, hands in front. Peter squeaked when he heard his name and tried to become invisible in the shadows. "Doing a thing like this! Disrupting a long held tradition of Hogwarts, harassing a resident ghost, stealing food from the-"
"Hey, I bought that food with my own money!" Sirius defended himself, but he fell silent as soon as he saw Professor McGonagall's face.
"And you, Mr. Black," she said, growing stern. "After seeing which house the Sorting Hat chose for you, I would have thought to see greater things out of you. Both of you! Mr. Potter, this is not a laughing matter."
James clamped a hand over his mouth. "Well, you have to admit, Professor," he said through his fingers, "It was pretty ingenious."
Professor McGonagall's expression became softer, and she let a smile escape to her face. "Yes. Yes it was. But it also broke about twenty school rules."
"Oh, please, Professor," Peter begged, speaking up again, "please don't expel us!"
"I'm not going to expel you, Mr. Pettigrew." Professor McGonagall sighed, sitting back in her chair. "But I am giving you all a month's worth of detentions. And that includes Mr. Lupin for assisting you in this little escapade."
"Lupin?" Sirius interrupted. "He didn't do anything! It was just the three of us."
"Your roommate, Darryl Avery, informed us of five tubs of pumpkin juice tucked behind his bedpost," Professor McGonagall said, staring right at Sirius.
Sirius glared. The evil sniveling little ---
"Remus didn't do anything to help us," James said, stepping on Sirius's foot. "Really, he didn't know anything about it."
"Yeah," Sirius added, "he's been too worried about his mum. She's been sick, and-"
Professor McGonagall's smile seemed to widen, but just for a moment before it disappeared completely and she shook her head. "Mr. Black, that doesn't account for him hiding the-"
"We hid them, Professor," Sirius said bravely. "He didn't even know they were back there. Like I said, he's been preoccupied --- "
Sirius had run out of excuses. Yet the old lady decided to take his word, and let the three of them go with two week's detention, cleaning out the second floor restrooms nightly.
"Oh, and one more thing, Mr. Black," she said as the boys exited the room. Sirius, the last in line, turned to face her, and she motioned for him to resume his place in front of her desk. He groaned and took a seat in an emerald chair.
James and Peter closed the door quietly, and Sirius crossed his arms and faced Professor McGonagall.
"Mr. Black, I know about your family's history," she said, taking a quill and writing something on parchment, "and I have been very impressed at your attitude toward your magic so far. Before tonight, I thought that maybe you had chosen a --- wiser --- path than your father."
"Yeah?" Sirius said, half interested.
"And tonight I saw you slipping back into your lineage." She stopped writing and peered at him over her glasses. "Don't let yourself sink low. You could take a leaf out of Mr. Lupin's book." She smiled that secretive smile again and went back to writing. "You may go."
Sirius got up to leave, crossed the room, and let himself out.