Title – The Price We Pay: R Version 5/13
Rating – R
Disclaimer – I own none of this, it all belongs to Rowling. I just have the honor of using her creations in my story. I would like to think I own Belladonna Pomfrey, but Rowling can have her too.
Summary – Healings and Revelations
Pairings – SS/LV, SS/LM, SS/Death Eaters and HP/DM
Warnings – Violence, torture, non-graphic rape and m/m slash
A/N – First off let me say how very sorry I am this took so long to post! I got caught up with my 'Slytherin' series and had to put this new chapter on hold for a bit. But it's finally here – a brand spanking new chapter! I would be interested to hear what you think of Belladonna as I've planned on featuring her in a few future chapters. Is she realistic or unbelievable? Is she credible as a trauma-witch or needs more work? She's definitely not a Mary Sue, but she is an original character of sorts and I would appreciate a little feedback on her! As for the exploration of the Harry/Draco pairing – it's one of my fave non-Snape slash pleasures and since I've dropped the SS/AD pairing I wanted a little extra slashiness. The next update will be quicker than this one I promise! All reviews, corrections, suggestions and questions are welcome! Read and enjoy!
The Price We Pay
Chapter 4
Belladonna Pomfrey was a tall witch with kind hazel eyes, long brown hair neatly coiled at the back of her neck and a warm smile. She was a walking contradiction of sorts; determined to do whatever was necessary for her patients, yet her stubbornness was balanced by her compassionate and gentle demeanor that she used with any soul unfortunate enough to need her services. She was a witch who knew how to get things done and was quite protective of her methods. She never backed down from anything, no matter how impossible a task or volatile a patient.
Coming from a long line of healers and medi-witches, Belladonna was considered one of the leading experts in the field of magical healing, lending her knowledge and skills to hospitals all over Great Britain. After her apprenticeship she had decided to specialize in trauma cases, specifically victims of rape and torture. The war with Voldemort had created a need for healers like her and Belladonna did her best to heal the victims of the Dark Lord. The general public only read the scant details about the attacks or murders the next day in the news, but she saw the consequences firsthand. She saw the broken bodies, the hysterical families and the shattered souls. She saw all of these things and then tried to put them back together, one piece at a time.
When she had received a letter from her Aunt Poppy asking if she could come out to Hogwarts and examine a special patient her interest was peaked and she wondered what had happened to make her very capable Aunt turn to her for help? Surely Aunt Poppy knew how busy she was at St Mungo's now that the dungeons of Death Eaters had been emptied? The wards that dealt with the most serious injuries were completely filled with patients that had been prisoners of Death Eaters and Belladonna had been on call for most of the week. Then the letter had arrived, explaining there was a new patient at Hogwarts who was in dire condition and needed professional care and an expert diagnosis.
Belladonna had immediately turned her cases over to her apprentice healer at St. Mungo's in order to make the necessary preparations for the trip to Hogwarts. Aunt Poppy's letter did not go into great detail and she had no idea what state the patient would be in when she arrived.
The day after she had received the letter for help the healer found herself standing in front of Hogwarts, traveling bag in hand and eyes staring at the familiar castle. It had not changed much from her student years. Sure the walls had temporary battle scars and the atmosphere around the grounds was still charged with powerful, ancient magic, but underneath it was still the same, old Hogwarts. It was a feeling war and death could never take away.
"Belladonna Pomfrey?"
Hearing her name called, Belladonna turned from her examination of the castle to meet a familiar face.
"Professor McGonagall! It's good to see you again."
The Deputy Headmistress smiled thinly and Belladonna could see the exhaustion and worry lining that stern visage.
"It is good to see you as well Ms. Pomfrey although I wish our meeting was under better circumstances."
"Believe me Professor I feel the same way. I never enjoy it when my services are needed."
McGonagall nodded sadly and gestured to the open doorway.
"Then please follow me and I will take you to the Hospital Wing. The Headmaster would greet you himself but he is tending to Severus this morning."
"I'm assuming Severus is the patient my Aunt owled me about?"
"Yes unfortunately." McGonagall replied as they walked through the entrance hall. House elves and even a few goblins could be seen scurrying about, seeing to whatever repairs the castle needed done that day. They had made excellent progress restoring the vital parts of Hogwarts that had been damaged in the final battle, namely the Great Hall and outlying walls and buildings, and when school resumed in a few days the castle would be as good as new. "Tell me Ms. Pomfrey, what do you know about Severus Snape?"
Belladonna had to take a few moments to gather her thoughts.
"Only what is in his file at St. Mungo's and whispered from a few of my patients. He has taught Potions here for about 20 years and is an ex-Death Eater with ties to the Order of the Phoenix. Has quite a brilliant mind when it comes to potions, if my friends in the field are to be believed. Well, I'm guessing he had a brilliant mind anyway. Hopefully I will be able to do something about that."
The other witch was silent for a few moments and Belladonna could see the grief flash briefly across the normally composed face before McGonagall could reign in her emotions.
"I sincerely hope so Ms. Pomfrey. Most people, especially the students, think Severus is unapproachable, someone to be avoided and who would rather yell at you than become your friend. But some of us have actually made it past his somewhat bitter personality and I can count myself fortunate to have earned his friendship. I have dearly missed our scathing conversations about the latest incident at the Ministry or one of our debates over Quidditch." McGonagall sighed nostalgically. "Perhaps one day when Severus is better."
Belladonna nodded but remained silent. Obviously there were others who could benefit from her presence here - even if it was only for a shoulder to cry on or a sympathetic ear to listen to their troubles. Perhaps she could take a few extra days off to stay here and work her own special brand of magic. She followed McGonagall through the halls and up the moving stairs, passing groups of students on the way. There were also a few parents and Aurors walking around, visiting their children and keeping order.
Soon they reached the Hospital Wing and Belladonna was ushered inside. The few patients looked over as they entered and she easily identified Harry Potter sitting next to a young wizard with blond hair. They gazed at her curiously, although the blond wizard took one glance at the special maroon robes that designated her as a trauma medi-witch and suddenly seemed very sad and thoughtful. Her gaze swept across the other patients before coming to a halt on her dear Aunt Poppy.
"Bella dear, I'm so glad you could make it! How are you?"
Smiling, she embraced her aunt and replied,
"I'm well Aunt Poppy, a little tired from all that has happened, but eager to help."
Poppy Pomfrey's smile faded a little as she released her niece and shot a glance to the other end of the ward. The joy she felt at seeing Belladonna was replaced by a weary sorrow as she said,
"Yes, yes of course. Severus is in the private room with the Headmaster at the moment. Let's see if they are ready for company." She motioned for them to follow and headed toward a closed door.
"I'm afraid I must leave you now Ms. Pomfrey." McGonagall interrupted, "Please let me know if you need anything."
"Of course Professor. Thank you." Belladonna replied and McGonagall nodded cordially before exiting the wing. The trauma-witch waited while her aunt knocked softly on the door of the private room. It swung open silently in response and tightening her grip on her bag, Belladonna stepped into the small room, completely focused on the task ahead.
* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *
Dumbledore looked up as someone knocked on the door, then quickly glanced at Snape, hoping the noise would not disturb him. The ill wizard had been in the grips of a nightmare earlier and finally settled down to a restless sleep. He closed the book he was reading and silently waved open the door with his hand. Madame Pomfrey peeked inside and seeing that everything was calm, motioned to someone waiting behind her.
He stood as his head nurse entered followed by a younger witch in the maroon robes of a trauma healer. Searching his memory Dumbledore easily recalled Belladonna Pomfrey, a quiet, devoted girl – a Hufflepuff if he remembered correctly. She was so much like her aunt, but also so very different, sort of like a more intense and harsh version of the normally pleasant Poppy. He smiled and held out his hand in greeting.
"Healer Pomfrey, welcome back to Hogwarts. Thank you for coming."
Belladonna shook his offered hand and replied,
"It's no problem Headmaster. I'm glad to be here. This is Severus Snape?"
Dumbledore nodded and surrendered his chair to the healer, watching anxiously as the trauma-witch set her bag on the table and sat down. She did not touch Snape, just let her eyes travel up and down his thin, abused frame, finally coming to rest on his bandaged hands. Snape shivered slightly in his sleep, as if he could sense her scrutiny and wanted to hide from it. Belladonna looked up at them and asked,
"Could you please step outside for a few moments? I'd like to examine Severus myself and then we can talk."
Frowning, Dumbledore opened his mouth to protest; surely whatever the healer had to do she could do it with him present couldn't she? He did not like the idea of leaving Snape alone with a stranger. True this stranger was trying to help him, but what if he saw her and panicked? It had been two days since Snape had first woken up and Poppy had managed to keep him in a healing sleep for most of that time. The couple of times Snape had resisted the sleeping draught and woke he had been clearly frightened and would only calm down in Dumbledore's presence. Surprisingly, Belladonna anticipated his concerns and said with a sympathetic smile,
"Trust me Headmaster, Severus is in good hands. I'll call for you immediately if anything should happen."
"I'll hold you to that Healer Pomfrey." Dumbledore answered gravely, "We'll be talking with the other patients." He took one last glance at Snape and let Poppy lead him out of the room by the elbow. Belladonna waited until the door had firmly closed behind them before turning her attention back to her patient.
Snape was curled on his side, breathing softly and sleeping somewhat peacefully. Occasionally he would twitch and release a breathy gasp then settle back down into slumber. She was loathe to continue with her examination for she knew sleep would be a rare thing for Snape in the future and did not want to deprive him of that now, when he truly needed it. Instead her hand reached for the recording scroll that her aunt used to keep track of a patient's injuries and medications. Her eyes quickly scanned the scroll, noting all the treatments her aunt had already preformed and the potions Snape was to be given daily.
Belladonna's first order of business was to add a few more potions to Snape's regimen. She rose and opened her bag, removing two blank parchments - one that she would keep in her own records and one she would give to her aunt. Then she took a quill from her robes and dipped it in a handy inkwell, ready to begin her evaluation.
There was a potion that would curb some of the intensity of the nightmares Snape would suffer from and hopefully give him some undisturbed sleep. It was not as strong as something like the Draught of Living Death, but stronger than the sleeping aids Aunt Poppy would have in her stores.
Next was the potion that would help ease the tremors brought about from exposure to the cruciatus and heal the damaged nerves. Belladonna's trained eye could see the faint trembling of Snape's limbs, a sure sign of repeated use of the unforgivable curse. She wondered if his mental faculties had been damaged beyond repair like some of the poor patients in the long-term resident ward next to hers. It seemed unlikely the more she thought about it; Voldemort had the perverse pleasure in keeping his victims sane and aware until he killed them
Then came the anti-depressant and no-anxiety potions that Snape would have to take when all his physical wounds were healed and his mind began to reconnect with the real world. Depression and anxiety attacks were common for victims of rape and torture and if her magical potions did not work, Belladonna knew of some powerful Muggle drugs that would work just as well.
She also wrote down a special, developmental potion that was only available to special healers of St. Mungo's and made a mental note to make sure a bottle of it was delivered to Hogwarts. It was a carefully controlled potion and used in only the most serious cases in her trauma ward. Officially called the Disassociation Draught, this potion allowed a person troubled by bad memories to temporarily disassociate themselves from the emotions of a strong memory and look at the memory rationally and sanely, without the fear that usually came with those recollections. Her colleagues at St. Mungo's had nicknamed it the 'Happy Potion,' because a patient who was depressed and afraid would become happy and calm, at least for a short while. It was a tool healers like herself were beginning to use in therapy sessions with the more traumatized patients, and Belladonna was certain her aunt would find it to be very useful.
Finishing up with her potion prescriptions, Belladonna set aside the parchments and took out her wand. Now it was time for the physical examination and she wanted to be as quick as possible. No sense in adding any undue stress to the poor wizard.
She slowly rolled back the blankets, making sure to keep Snape warm with a charm as he shuddered slightly and curled a bit tighter into himself. Belladonna frowned at the too thin body visible even underneath the light sleepclothes he wore and waved her wand to cast a diagnostic charm over the pale form, taking notes on the various readings. She added some supplemental nutrition potions to her list, with advice on how to help rebuild Snape's strength and overall physical fitness.
The trauma witch briefly looked over the rest of his physical injuries; she had seen and treated many of them before and knew her aunt would have them under control. However she could not suppress a shiver as her calculating gaze finally stopped on the thick collar that encircled the fragile throat.
As an experienced healer Belladonna had seen her fair share of atrocities and injuries inflicted by wizard upon wizard. Magic was a formidable weapon in the right or wrong hands and she often encountered patients whose wounds, physical, emotional and mental, still managed to render her speechless. Usually she was able to look past the wound to see the patient and do her job, but sometimes she could only stare in horror and wonder how someone could do that to another human being.
Like right now. Belladonna stared at the collar and forced her mind to start thinking about possible removal spells. They were many different types of collars a wizard or witch could use to enslave and subdue someone. In her apprenticeship she had treated a patient who had been so controlled by a collar that they had to use charms to regulate bodily functions like blinking and breathing until his body relearned how to control those things on its own without the influence of the collar. There were collars that were so effective in suppressing magical powers that a few victims had been rendered squibs and still did not have access to their magic. She had some experience in removing magical collars that had been placed on prisoners of war and was confident she could remove this one.
Using her wand to carefully probe Snape's collar, Belladonna mapped out the extent of control it had and the amount of damage it had caused to Snape's magical core. She placed the tip of her wand against it and sent a small pulse of magic, testing the strength of Voldemort's handiwork, pleased when she determined the collar was simply suppressing Snape's own magical powers and nothing more. Checking once more to make sure Snape was still sleeping, Belladonna was surprised to find his eyes were open and watching her drowsily. She smiled and said,
"Hello Severus. My name is Belladonna and I'll be helping you get better." She was not expecting a reply or any sign that Snape understood her, but when his lips curved up into a very small smile Belladonna was convinced he could be healed to his former self. "Don't worry, we will all be taking very good care of you. Everything will be all right."
When she moved to stroke his shorn hair Snape's eyes widened and he flinched, trying to move away from her outstretched hand. "It's ok, I won't try to touch you again, it's all right." Belladonna murmured soothingly until Snape calmed back down. His eyes darted around searchingly and she quickly guessed who he was looking for. "Albus will be back later. Go back to sleep and when you wake up he'll be here." Snape stared at her for a few moments then fell back asleep with a soft sigh.
Finishing up with her notes and recommendations, Belladonna tucked the blankets around Snape and rose to find Dumbledore and her aunt.
* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *
"And then we're thinking about traveling to Italy, maybe sail around the Mediterranean for a while. There are some beautiful islands to visit in the travel guide I was looking at."
Dumbledore smiled encouragingly at Harry and heard Draco snort from the chair on the other side of Harry's bed. The blond crossed his arms and replied,
"Neither of us knows the first thing about sailing Potter. It's hard work and complicated and not that much fun."
"Fine. We can always sightsee. You know – visit the museums, monuments and landmarks instead."
Draco scowled and said,
"But those muggle places are incredibly boring. Why do we have go on this vacation anyway?"
Harry raised an eyebrow and leered at his lover.
"I want to get away from here until some of the furor dies down and see some of the world outside this castle. Plus I can think of a few things that would make those boring museums seem a bit more lively Draco. We can tell the tourists it's a special nude exhibit."
Dumbledore looked up intently at the ceiling, pretending to ignore the two young wizards, but inside he was smiling. He was anxious to return to Severus, but thankful for the welcome distraction the young lovers provided. He was glad Harry and Draco had found some companionship with each other and wished them the best of luck in the future. Judging by Ron Weasley's reaction they would need all the luck they could get to keep their relationship afloat. Ron grimaced and shuddered slightly.
"Thanks mate for a mental picture I did not need. Next time could you please keep your plans with Malfoy to yourself?"
"Why Weasel? Did you picture something you liked?" Draco teased with a smug smirk. Ron glared at him, sparks flying from his eyes. Sighing, Harry shared an exasperated look with Dumbledore and wondered where Hermione was. She could usually keep them all firmly in line and keep the hexes from flying.
Taking pity on Harry, who was clearly torn between the two, Dumbledore reached into his robes and pulled out a small pouch.
"Lemon drop anyone?"
The confrontation was further diverted when the door to Snape's room opened and Healer Pomfrey slipped out, beckoning him over. Dumbledore immediately got to his feet and was at her side in a second. Poppy was right behind him and together they followed the trauma-witch back into the private room.
The Headmaster reclaimed his spot by the bed and lightly touched Snape on the arm as if to reassure himself the other wizard was safe and alive. His urgings satisfied, Dumbledore turned back to the two witches who were in deep conversation. Poppy was reading a parchment while her niece was quietly explaining some of the key points of her report. He cleared his throat and said when they looked over at him,
"So what is your professional opinion Healer Pomfrey?"
Belladonna glanced down at Snape and sighed. She rubbed the back of her neck as she debated what to tell Dumbledore. Nothing but the truth would satisfy this particular wizard she decided. She had the uneasy feeling his blue eyes would see through any lie or half-truth.
"I won't lie to you Headmaster. Severus is in bad shape. Voldemort did everything to maximize the amount of pain and suffering and honestly I'm surprised he's alive at all. Most cases like this would be admitted to St. Mungo's and probably live out the rest of their lives as invalids, trapped in their insanity." She paused and her serious expression softened a bit, "However he obviously has many people who care about him and are willing to help him through the tough times. I believe, with the proper care and emotional support, Severus will make a full recovery. I can't guarantee that he will regain his former abilities and personality, but we can help him lead a healthy, normal life. You have already shouldered this responsibility haven't you?"
Silence met her proclamation and Belladonna waited for Dumbledore's response. The Headmaster nodded slowly and reached out a hand to tenderly stroke Snape's scraggly black hair as she could not do earlier. When he did not reply right away she looked at her aunt and raised a questioning eyebrow. Poppy shrugged before moving to sit next to the silent wizard.
"Albus? What's wrong?"
Dumbledore lifted his head and smiled. It was a very small smile, but a smile nonetheless.
"Nothing is wrong Poppy. I guess I'm feeling a little overwhelmed with relief right now." He turned to Belladonna, "I had braced myself for the worst and your news was more than I had hoped for. Thank you."
The healer nodded her understanding and said,
"I'm sure Aunt Poppy will show me to my quarters and we can continue this discussion tomorrow. Do try and get some rest – healer's orders. I would hate to see you as a patient when the hard work has barely started."
When they were gone Dumbledore leaned closer to his sleeping child and whispered,
"I think everything is going to be fine Severus. Just fine."
* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *
Later that night, after dinner with the other staff members, Belladonna made her way back to her rooms, not really paying any attention to her surroundings. She had spent most of the dinner hour in conversation with Professor McGonagall as the older witch poured out her fears and concerns. Her mind was still pondering the day's events and thinking about the woes of Hogwarts. Belladonna was also thinking about Snape as she prepared a long-term recovery plan for him. Therefore it was a surprise when she arrived at her door and looked up to see someone standing in her way.
The blond wizard from earlier was staring at her with an unreadable expression. His face was set in an impassive mask but his eyes darted around them as if he were afraid of being discovered with her. Belladonna searched for a name and said,
"What can I do for you Mr. Malfoy?"
Draco Malfoy frowned slightly and gestured to her quarters.
"I would like to speak with you in private."
Intrigued, Belladonna opened the door and motioned for Malfoy to enter. Shutting the door behind them, she added a silencing charm for extra privacy. She had the feeling what he was about to tell her should remain a private matter.
"Please sit down."
Once he was seated Malfoy was even more restless and avoided her gaze by staring at his hands. Finally the young wizard looked up at her and said,
"You're helping Professor Snape."
It was a statement, not a question, but Belladonna answered it anyway.
"Yes, I am. Is this about him?"
Sighing miserably, Malfoy nodded and began to absently rub at his left forearm.
"I just …I just wanted to warn you about the things that my father and the others would have done to him so you can help him get better."
Realizing this would be some sort of healing for him, Belladonna listened patiently as Malfoy spoke in a pained voice about all the horrors inflicted on his former professor and head of house. Although he did not have firsthand knowledge Malfoy gave her a lot of information that was invaluable. He stumbled a bit when telling her about one painful memory in particular - the Christmas Revel.
"I wasn't there of course. Mother wouldn't let me attend Revels until after I left Hogwarts. But I saw my father when he returned home late that night and he told me what had happened. He must have had a little too much firewhiskey because he never told me anything about Professor Snape." There was a heavy pause while Malfoy shifted in his chair and looked out the window at the night sky. "He said our Lord had given them all a wonderful gift that evening to do with as they pleased …it was Snape. I guess he was …passed around …as the main entertainment and everyone had a turn with him. Father spent the better part of an hour telling me all about it so it's kind of hard to forget."
Malfoy stopped speaking and he turned away sharply, hands gripping the arms of the chair tightly. It was clear to her that the Slytherin was trying valiantly to remain in control and did not want anyone to perceive him as weak. Belladonna placed a gentle hand over his and said,
"These kind of memories never truly go away Draco. We can only learn to live with them and hope to go on with our lives. I know you are probably feeling guilty, confused and maybe a little angry. These feelings are perfectly normal and acceptable."
"But I can't get rid of these bloody feelings!" Malfoy exclaimed. "All I can feel is guilt and shame because I couldn't find Professor Snape sooner or didn't confront my father or pay more attention to - "
"Draco." Belladonna interrupted softly and waited until sad gray eyes focused on her. A lone tear silently traveled down a pale cheek to fall onto pristine black robes. "It's ok to cry if you want."
Given permission, he did.
* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *
After a lovely breakfast spent reminiscing with Aunt Poppy, Belladonna was back with her new patient. The Headmaster, her aunt and Professor McGonagall joined her and they all waited for her to continue her evaluation. Snape, still in a healing sleep, was oblivious to their discussion about his future.
"I'd like to start off by saying that I will owl you a copy of my complete report tomorrow and include a few potions that will help when Severus returns to lucidity." Belladonna looked at her aunt and continued, "I will leave the physical wounds in your capable hands Aunt Poppy. One thing we can do now is remove this hideous collar."
The four worked in quiet tandem to free Snape from this magical prison. Belladonna instructed Dumbledore and McGonagall to prepare for a backlog of magic that had been suppressed for several months while she severed the dark binding spells and Poppy kept an eye on Snape. Aided by her preliminary testing yesterday, she quickly found the spells keeping Snape's magic dormant and began to break them. Snape whimpered a little as Voldemort's spells were lifted, but Poppy was right there to keep him calm. The Headmaster and McGonagall concentrated to keep the storm of magic from killing Snape as it was freed.
Belladonna worked surely and smoothly, breaking the final bonds that Voldemort had woven to trap the former spy. Finally she touched her wand to the inhibiting collar and whispered the last unlocking spell. The collar sprung open with a click and she carefully removed it from Snape's neck. The healer dropped it into her waiting bag for transportation to St. Mungo's where experts would destroy it. Lifting her head Belladonna said,
"Now slowly release his magic so I can guide it back into him safely."
When they were done Snape relaxed into his pillow with a sigh as magic filled and surrounded him for the first time in eight months.
"I'm glad that's over. I couldn't stand the sight of that foul thing around his neck." McGonagall said as they rested for a minute, "I'm almost disappointed Harry defeated You-Knew-Who because I swear Albus I want to give that horrid excuse for a wizard a piece of my mind!"
Dumbledore laughed tiredly and patted his deputy's arm.
"I happen to agree with you Minerva. But I dare say Voldemort is receiving ample punishment for his sins in the afterlife. Magic has a way of rewarding and punishing those who deserve it."
They were silent as they considered this bit of wisdom until Belladonna cleared her throat and said,
"Well said Headmaster. I would hope magic will find a way to reward Severus for all his trials and pains, but we must help him achieve them. As I said earlier I will leave the physical injuries to you Aunt Poppy. There are some points of Severus's recovery that I should discuss with you now."
Dumbledore shifted uncomfortably and waited nervously as Belladonna cast a silencing charm around them so Snape would not subconsciously hear what they were talking about, even while in a deep sleep. Whatever the trauma witch was going to tell them was likely to be difficult to hear.
"First you must remember to be patient with him, give him time and space to heal on his own. Severus strikes me as someone who was a very independent and private person and as his memories and abilities return he should be allowed to retain some of that former personality. His mind has suffered many setbacks and will heal slowly as it tries to piece itself together. Memories, thoughts and emotions have likely been affected. Don't be surprised if Severus has troubled remembering things for weeks to come."
"Will he remember us? Or what happened to him?" Dumbledore asked.
"His memories are scattered and broken like his spirit." Replied Belladonna, "Voldemort tampered with Severus's mind and magic so much that it's a wonder he can understand us at all. Be prepared for nightmares, violent flashbacks, periods of confusion and mood swings. I suspect his magic will return eventually, but his mind is very fragile and must be treated as such. Best you can do is simply be there for him and let him know he is not alone. He must learn to trust you and know that he can depend on you for help."
They nodded at her explanation. Poppy leaned forward and asked,
"What about the abuse – the sexual abuse? How do we deal with that Bella?"
Belladonna was very straightforward with them and her answers were to the point.
"Sexual abuse of this magnitude cannot be overcome easily. Rape is a powerful torture technique, one that Voldemort and the Death Eaters used liberally with their prisoners. Almost half of my patients experienced or witnessed rape during their captivity and because Severus was a high profile prisoner his experiences are likely to be many times worse."
"How do you know that?" inquired Dumbledore curiously.
"I have my sources Headmaster. When you work with patients like Severus on a daily basis you have intimate knowledge of what Death Eaters are capable of. Now, don't be alarmed if he develops an aversion to touch or becomes anxious around strangers, especially wizards. Just talk softly and remain non-threatening until he realizes you won't hurt him. His trust has been sorely abused but he will learn to feel safe around you again. Victims of rape often suffer from depression, insecurities about their sexuality and feeling guilty about themselves or their situation. And I know you don't want to consider it, but someone should be with Severus at all times as a sort of self-injury/suicide watch."
"You think Severus might be suicidal?" McGonagall gasped, surprised the healer would suggest such a thing. Snape might have been many things, but he was not a quitter and she refused to think he would escape his troubles through death.
"I'm not saying that he will be for sure, simply that he might be Professor. It's better to be cautious than not pay any attention at all. I've left a list of all the signs of these conditions with Aunt Poppy so everyone can read it and know what they are dealing with and looking for. Some you should watch out for include unexplainable injuries, loss of interest in things in general and a withdrawal from you.
"As his memories return the treatments I have planned will become more invasive and personal. Potions will help with depression, anxiety and insomnia. We must help Severus to cope with his memories without reliving them and experiencing the same emotions. Therapy is the best way to do this so I have made time to come back twice a week and guide him through these sessions. However I also believe that you, Headmaster, will play a vital role in helping Severus examine his feelings and in getting him to talk about his ordeal in a place where he feels safe and protected. Follow these recommendations and Severus will be back to relative normalness in no time. "
"I have already devoted myself to his recovery and will do anything to help Severus." Dumbledore said as he gazed sadly down at the sleeping patient. "What you have told us today only reaffirms my commitment to him now and in the future. You can be rest assured that I will listen, watch and do my best to right the wrongs inflicted on him by Voldemort."
Belladonna smiled suddenly and began packing her things into her traveling bag, hazel eyes warm and encouraging.
"Then it appears that my business here today is concluded. I know Severus is in good hands and will be back to check on him next week."
"That's it? You're done?" Dumbledore asked with slight frown. The trauma witch's smile faded a bit as she replied frankly,
"This is just the beginning Headmaster. Just the beginning."
There was an uncomfortable silence until Poppy rose and said,
"I'll walk you to the gates Bella. Thank you again for coming."
"It was no problem. I'll see you next week Headmaster, Professor McGonagall." Belladonna inclined her head respectfully at them as they also gave her their heartfelt thanks for visiting. With one last look at Snape, Belladonna followed her aunt with a swirl of maroon robes and was gone.
"Well, at least she knows what she is doing." McGonagall pointed out as she straightened her hat and got to her feet.
"That she does Minerva." Agreed Dumbledore, "Belladonna is one of the best in her field and most importantly, I trust her with Severus."
McGonagall nodded and left him to resume his vigil. Snape had rolled onto his side, bound hands moving restlessly as if they were searching for something - or someone. Dumbledore gently picked up the fragile hands in his own and stroked the pale flesh not covered by bandages. Snape quickly calmed down and settled back into a dreamless, healing sleep.
Soon the nightmares and tears would come, but they would be ready for them. Dumbledore looked down at his Severus and became even more determined to guide and protect him through the upcoming weeks. He would be there to wipe away the tears, hold him through the nightmares and be Snape's steady rock when life became too much.
Dumbledore knew things would not be easy or painless, but he would face them with unwavering optimism and hope.
His child would become whole again – he would make sure of that.
*TBC*
Rape and abuse of any kind is a very serious matter (for wizards and muggles) and I would like to acknowledge two websites that provided invaluable information when I was doing some research into what Snape would really be going through. The Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network provides help to victims of sexual assault and can be found at www.rainn.org. The other site is The National Center for Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and is located at www.ncptsd.org. I encourage you to take a look at these sites and perhaps gain further insight into what our poor Severus and many real-life people are really a victim of.
I don't have time to reply individually to all of you who reviewed, but I wish to say thank you for reading and reviewing and I hope to hear more of your comments and thoughts on this chapter!