DISCLAIMER: The characters mentioned in this story are the property of Showtime and Gekko Film Corp. The Stargate, SG-1, the goa'uld and all other characters who have appeared in the series STARGATE SG-1 together with the names, titles and backstory are the sole copyright property of the people who made them up. This fanfic is not intended as an infringement upon those rights and solely meant for entertainment. All other characters, the story idea and the story itself are the sole property of the author.

Living With The Past

Part four

'Get out of there!' Someone yelling woke Daniel out of a restless dream. 'Retreat! Snipers on the roof!' Daniel was out of bed in an instant, realising that Jack was having a nightmare and racing into the spare room without a thought.

'Jack?' Daniel shook the older man gently by the shoulder, being ready to duck away should the need arise. It was never a good idea to surprise Jack while he was sleeping - he could still remember the bloody nose he'd had when he had tried to wake Jack for his watch on one of their missions some time ago. 'Jack, come on, wake up. You're dreaming.'

'Wassup? Daniel? You weren't there, you shouldn't be here,' Jack mumbled, still not fully awake.

'Jack, wake up, you need to wake up,' Daniel was more forceful now, shaking Jack firmly until he could see Jack's eyes starting to focus.

'Daniel? What's wrong?' Jack was fully awake and alert now, wondering why Daniel was waking him up in the middle of the night. Jack sat up and grabbed Daniel's arm, looking into his face, trying to figure out what was going and whether Daniel was sick.

'Nothing,' Daniel returned, shivering in the cold night air. 'You were having a nightmare and you woke me up.'

'I was?' Jack looked apologetic. 'Sorry about that. I was dreaming about…' He stopped, reluctant to go into any more details.

'Jack?' Daniel looked at Jack, concern for his friend clearly showing and Jack guessed that if he were to explain what he had gone through at the hands of the gamekeeper, then maybe Daniel would begin to open up.

'I was dreaming about a mission that went wrong, the one the gamekeeper made me relive.' Jack admitted, finding it surprisingly difficult to talk about it, he had after all buried the original memories deep in the recesses of his mind many years ago. 'I knew what was going to happen, what was going to go wrong and I tried to change the outcome, but there was always another trap to fall into. I could have gone on for days trying to change the way things worked out, and the gamekeeper would always have found another way to make me fail.' Jack scrubbed his face with his hands, trying to put the memory to one side, to bury it again. He felt a hand on his arm as Daniel spoke.

'Jack, I'm so sorry,' Daniel said, his voice full of emotion and when Jack looked up again, he could see a pair of concerned blue eyes focussed on him. 'I had no idea…' He wasn't sure what to say. Here he had been, wallowing in self-pity and his friend, and yes, no matter what anyone else might say or think, Jack was his friend, his friend had needed him. 'Are you going to be alright?'

Jack felt like shaking Daniel. How did he manage to do it every time? Daniel was struggling to come to terms with something that no-one should have to deal with, let alone when they were only a child, and all he was concerned with was whether or not he was alright.

'I'm fine Daniel, really,' Jack reassured Daniel. 'It happened a long time ago. We made a lot of mistakes and people got killed but I moved on, although I never forgot. I dealt with it at the time and I'll deal with it now.' Just then he saw Daniel shivering and realised how cold it was and wondered if it was freezing outside. 'For crying out loud Daniel you're gonna freeze to death if you don't get yourself back to bed,' Jack exclaimed, instantly regretting it when he saw Daniel retreating back into his shell.

'Look, Daniel, why don't I make some coffee?' Jack offered, trying to smooth over the situation.

'Coffee, Jack?' Daniel said irritably, 'I don't think I heard Dr Fraiser lift the embargo on coffee just yet. Maybe I'll just go back to bed.' Daniel turned, his shoulders set, and left the room, reaching his own room and closing the door before Jack could get out of his own bed to try to work things out.

Jack paused outside the door to Daniel's room, trying to figure out whether it was worth barging in there and trying to knock some sense into Daniel, but the situation was resolved for him when he heard a muffled voice from inside the room saying with finality, 'Good night Jack.' Pulling a resigned face, Jack made his way back his own bed where he lay awake for a long time, trying to get things straight in his own head to enable him to help Daniel.

XOXOXOX

Jack woke late the next morning having managed to get exactly nowhere with his line of thought from the previous night. He lay wallowing in the pleasure of having a lie-in until he realised what it was that had woken him - the smell of freshly made coffee came wafting through the door and without thinking, Jack was out bed and into the kitchen in around ten seconds flat.

'Daniel!' Jack exclaimed, his tone light and bantering, deciding that Daniel could really do without the hard time he probably should put him through. 'Since when did Dr Fraiser put coffee back on the menu?'

Daniel shrugged his shoulders, holding his enormous cup of coffee up to his nose as he breathed in the fragrant fumes and said 'Want some?' Jack nodded and while his own coffee was being poured, began to rummage in the fridge for something to eat.

'Hungry?' Jack asked, receiving a nod in reply. 'Fancy some eggs?'

'Sure,' Daniel shrugged again before making himself comfortable on the couch, his cup of coffee close at hand. Jack watched him for a few moments before starting to beat the eggs he'd retrieved from the fridge.

The day passed slowly. Daniel was polite but refused to enter into any kind of discussion with Jack, carefully avoiding any mention of what had passed last night or how Daniel might be feeling. Daniel was still suffering from the after effects of concussion and shock and spent the day dozing and watching television. Jack tried to capture Daniel's attention by suggesting a game of cards and as a last resort got the chess board out although he knew he would probably lose, but Daniel just wasn't biting, pleading tiredness when anything was suggested.

As the afternoon wore on, Daniel tuned in to some programme on Ancient Egypt which even Jack could tell was full of inconsistencies and was sure would have Daniel yelling at the narrator, correcting all the wrong information that was being given out, but aside from a couple of muffled comments, nothing was forthcoming. Now Jack began to be worried. A normal Daniel would have been hurling abuse by now and getting so irritated with the programme that he would switch the TV off altogether, instead, Jack watched as Daniel's eyes began to grow heavy and eventually slid shut, his face relaxing as sleep claimed him again.

Jack sighed and took the opportunity to channel surf himself, stopping when he came to a Simpsons marathon, keeping the volume down to avoid disturbing Daniel. This was going to be hard work, and until Daniel was able to face up to what he'd been put through he wouldn't be fit to rejoin SG1. Daniel had received so many knock backs in his life, yet each time he managed to bounce back, ready to take on the world again, Jack just hoped that Daniel would be able to do that again as he hated to see his friend going through this and the thought of Daniel spiralling into depression just didn't bear thinking about that. Been there, done that, got the t-shirt, Jack thought to himself as he recalled his own experiences after Charlie had died. It was Daniel who got me through that and I'm damned if I'll let him put himself through this on his own, Jack firmly resolved.

XOXOXOX

Daniel heard his mother calling for him.

'Daniel? Are you in here? It's supper time, if you don't come out now there won't be any left,' he heard her saying. Giggling happily, Daniel ran out from where he'd been hiding and straight into his mother's arms, receiving a big hug in return. 'So, what have you been doing with yourself today?' She asked the small figure walking along beside her, holding her hand, listening with interest when he explained that he'd been helping Vasilou clean up some of the pottery fragments unearthed on the dig.

'And look,' Daniel finished excitedly, 'he gave me my own brush to use.' Daniel showed her the rather worn brush he'd been given, knowing that the child knew exactly how to use it and how to treat the artefacts they found.

Daniel blinked, then realised they were now sitting around a fire, his dad there as well. He was sitting in his mother's lap, she was leaning against his father who had his arms around both of them and Daniel felt warm, secure and loved.

Smiling to himself, relishing the feelings that rose in him, the scene changed and he found himself in the museum again, he could see the cover stone falling in slow motion. He was screaming at his parents to move, to get to safety, but they couldn't hear him, couldn't see him and suddenly it was over. Silence fell over the room for a moment, a silence broken only by the voice of a small child: 'Mum! Dad!' A child screaming for his parents before one of the assistants came to him and dragged him, still screaming, from the room.

Daniel could feel arms around him, holding him, but he struggled; maybe his parents were alive, if they could just see him, hear him, they would be able to get out and they would be alright. He struggled more fiercely as the arms refused to let him go and he could feel the tears streaming down his face as he continued to call for his parents, but still he was held tightly. With one last effort he yelled as loudly as he could, waking himself up.

XOXOXOX

Jack was keeping an eye on Daniel and could see different expressions crossing his face as he slept. He smiled, looking younger again, the lines on his face were smoothed out and he really looked more relaxed than he had in a long time. The expression remained as Daniel shifted into a more comfortable position, curling himself up on the couch. Jack relaxed and began to watch the TV again, becoming absorbed until he noticed a change in Daniel. His body had stiffened, an agonised expression filled his face and he began to move around in agitation, muttering under his breath. At first Jack couldn't hear the words, could only watch the pain that this dream was causing, then he heard more clearly and the words and the tone in which they were spoken wrenched at him, making him realise what it was that Daniel was dreaming about.

'Mum! Dad!' He was yelling, struggling to sit up. Jack shifted closer to Daniel, holding him and rocking him gently much as he would do when Charlie had nightmares, maintaining the grip even when Daniel was fighting so hard it seemed as though he would break free. Tears were streaming down his face as he continued to struggle, then he stopped and Jack saw Daniel had woken and returned to the present.

'Jack?' Daniel spoke hoarsely, still caught up in the nightmare.

'It's alright Daniel,' Jack reassured Daniel, 'it's gonna be alright.'

'I saw them die Jack,' Daniel's voice was shaking. 'I watched as they were crushed to death and there was nothing I could do about it. One of the assistants had to drag me away. I thought that if only they could see me, hear me, they would be alright, they would know I needed them and everything would be alright. I tried to get back to them but she wouldn't let me go and they died. I could have done something, Jack. I should have done something.'

'Daniel, there was nothing you could do back then, you were eight years old. There was nothing you could do when the game keeper recreated it, he would have made sure it never worked out as you wanted it to. You did the right thing in refusing to try any more and I know what it must have cost you to do that.' Jack could feel Daniel tense at these words and he spoke again quickly. 'I felt like my whole world was collapsing around me when I refused to go through that mission again, listened to my team getting killed while I did nothing about it. When it happened for real, I did what I could and some of us got out alive, but that wasn't real. I know it will take time to put it behind you, but you can do it Daniel, I know you can. We need you as part of the team Daniel and we're your friends, I'm your friend. You don't have to go through it alone this time, we'll help you through it.'

'Jack…' Daniel began but again was prevented from saying anything.

'Ah!' Jack held up a hand to halt Daniel in mid-flow - not an easy task at the best of times. 'Don't say it.'

'Don't say what Jack?' Daniel opened his eyes in wide-eyed innocence, beginning to look a little more alert and normal now.

'That you're alright and can deal with it on your own, that you don't need any help,' Jack said, watching a smile flicker around the edges of Daniel's mouth.

'Actually, I was going to ask you to let go as I really need to use the bathroom,' Daniel replied, standing up as Jack released him. As he left the room, Daniel turned back, giving Jack one of his shy smiles. 'Jack?'

'Yes?' Jack wondered what was coming next.

'Thanks.' Daniel said simply.

'Are you..?' Jack left the unspoken question hanging.

'Yes, Jack, I'm going to be fine - with a little help from my friends, that is.'

THE END