I watched her write. It's funny she thinks I don't know what she's doing, silly female, yet I cannot blame her for doing it. She's so beautiful. The way she looks when she's trying to remember some small detail, or creating this complex battle. That's all well and good. I think it's better that she write, let the crazy leave her through her words. Let it live in me till I die.

She looks so tense, eyes staring off into a void of nothingness. I worry for her.

"Loren…." I said her name she didn't even hear me. Setting down the book I was reading I walked over to her and put my hands on her shoulders. I felt her lean back to be close so I knelt down beside her resting my head on her shoulders. That golden hair of hers always made me smile.

"Loren are you okay?" I was trying to be brave, sound tough, like I actually wasn't the failure I felt I was, but my voice only came out as a whisper. I couldn't see her face as she shook her head so I turned her chair around.

"Oh Elfangor… I'm so scared, so scared. I just have this feeling...a feeling that it's not over, were not done. And the Visser, Earth…"

Now I was looking into those beautiful blue eyes and all I saw was fear. She hugged me; I could feel her trembling in my arms. Humans like to be held at times like these…Humans like to touch, I myself have grown accustom to this strange habit, but there are times when Loren touches me…

I had to slap myself mentally… Humans have such strange instincts. Her this close made me want her closer. Human or not that would never change… Carefully I picked her up and began to carry her to our room. I wish she wouldn't cry like that, I feel so helpless. I feel as if I am watching her heart break bit by bit. We passed our wedding picture and I felt Loren's arms tighten around my neck.

"I love you Elfangor…" She whispers sending shivers down my spine.

"I love you and I won't ever leave. I set her down on the bed next to me. Then sat on the edge for a few moments before shutting out the light. I felt her snuggling up to me and… and she bit me! Not hard of course but playful, reaching around I tickled her, she laughed. It was the first time she had laughed in days and in the faint glow of the darkness I saw her smile.

Leaning forward she kissed me again and again until I accidentally slid off. To this there were peels of laughter to which even I had to join in. Several seconds later Loren in her night shirt jumped on top of me and begun undoing my shirt…

We made love.

The whole time I kept wishing this night would go on forever. Maybe if I stay awake it will. She's been asleep for about an hour now, head resting on my chest arms wrapped around me.

She is no fool though. We both sense something is wrong. More and more I feel drawn closer to this ever-widening void. She was right, it was only a matter of time before the Yeerks found us, and before Visser Three had his revenge.

The yeerks would never take her while I was alive; I would make sure of that. As for myself I could never be taken, never let them find out where I hid the time matrix. It's inevitable; we will only escape punishment long.

I looked at her she was sleeping soundly so I carefully slipped from the covers and threw on my pajama pants. Walking quietly I went into the kitchen and grabbed one of the beers Loren's brother had left in the fridge. God I hate that ignorant idiot.

Opening the door I sat out on the porch and looked at the stars. If only the humans knew what was going on up there. They are a race to be feared, if only they knew it. Then again I think most of them do. Believe me I've seen Loren mad and she scares me, but that might be just because she's female…

Looking down from the stars to my own driveway I looked at my car. It was our inside joke, my yellow mustang. A wedding present and reward for finally getting my driver's license, it only took my six times. That was only because I kept forgetting human 'cars' don't hover.

Tonight if you were to ask me if I was happy I'd say yes. Scared, on the run and on a planet I have no business being on, of course, but definitely happy. Loren worries, she is afraid I will regret my choice to come to Earth.

Nah, the only thing I regret is not waiting until after her meeting her brother to become a nothlit. It doesn't matter I kicked his ass once I'll do it again.

I raised the beer bottle to my lips and took the last swig. Standing up I stretched and quietly made my way back to our room. Climbing back I stopped and looked at her, her pale features glowing in the moonlight. I couldn't resist a kiss on her soft cheek.

I pulled her into my arms and whispered again that I loved her, that I'd protect her that I'd always be with her. But if we had so much time together why did I feel as if I was going to lose her..?

…………..

He finally came back. I missed him beside me, his comfort. He'll never know that I was awake, and I saw those few moments when his guard was down and he wasn't the warrior just the man I love. Tomorrow I'll tell him the good news, that I'm carrying the child we have been trying for… tomorrow…