Note: All copyrights belong to their respective owners and for better or worse, I am not one of them. It was written without any intent to make money, so if you own said copyrights, please do not sue.
LISA IN WONDERLAND by Silvertide
Bright rays of the sun occasionally filtered through patches of puffy white clouds on a warm afternoon day. Under the yellow and sometimes clouded sun, a young girl in an orange dress sat under a green tree growing out of a green lawn. It was the sort of warm day to nap under the warm blue sky or curl up reading a good book in the shade. Sitting with her back rested against a tree, the little girl sighed.
"Oh... why can't everyday be this nice?" thought the girl.
She had a book on her lap. She opened it. She put it back down. She closed her eyes. "Maybe I should just take a nap under this tree instead..."
With her eyes still closed, she remembered earlier in the day when her older brother Bart was tormenting her. He had stuffed wet toilet paper into her saxophone. When she tried to play it, no sound came out. Then she checked the tube and found the disgusting mess her brother left behind. When she complained, her brother said, "Hey Lisa, did you know that I used toilet water to wet the paper?" Lisa knew he was lying, but she cleaned her saxophone with rubbing alcohol just in case.
Birds were chirping and butterflies were fluttering in the air. All very nice and relaxing compared to the stress Lisa had earlier in the day. The sun was warm, the air fresh, and all was quiet. Her eyes shot open when she heard little feet running on the green lawn. "What was that?", she thought.
To her left stood a one-eared yellow rabbit wearing an orange jacket and a pair of puffy blue pantaloons. The jacket, with frills along the top and bottom, reminded Lisa of some rabbit from some Disney movie based on some book by some man named Carroll. In fact, the blue puffy pants, and the white Krusty the clown watch the little yellow rabbit was holding reminded her of something too.
"Um, hi!", greeted Lisa. "Hmm... a rabbit in clothes with a pocket watch. You look so familiar, but I can't remember what you remind me of." Lisa inched closer to get a better look. It had big eyes, a small bunny-nose, small buck teeth, and a single left ear that stood up out of a head of spiky hair. It wiggled its nose.
"Oh! That's so cute!" exclaimed Lisa. The rabbit smiled and wiggled its nose again.
"I wonder who you belong to? You look absolutely adorable in that outfit!" giggled Lisa. "Wait a second, why are you yellow? And why does your smile remind me of Bart? I have a strange feeling you're up to no good."
Suddenly, the yellow rabbit in orange turned around and ran away. Lisa got up and chased after it and yelled: "Wait! Where are you going? I'm not done examining you with my inquisitive nature!"
Lisa chased after the orange-clad and blue bottomed animal as it streaked toward her family's garage. It dove under a pink car and disappeared. Lisa looked under her family's lavender vehicle, and saw nothing but the car's wheels, the underside of the car, and the black shadow cast on the driveway. "He's gone! I can't see him anywhere. But I didn't see him run out from under the car, so where could he have gone to?" Lisa looked around and saw a badly kept lawn, a garage full of old junk like empty paint cans and old issues of TV guide, a pile of used garden tools and her next-door neighbor mowing his greener and better kept lawn. Lisa turned toward her neighbor.
"Hi! Have you seen a little yellow rabbit around anywhere?" asked Lisa.
"Why no, Lisa. I haven't seen any rabbit-a-rinos around anywhere. It sure is a nice day today, isn't it? We should praise God for this glorious day, with the happy sunshine coming down on us and..."
Lisa turned away before she had to hear more. "Um, thanks for the help! ...I have to get going now!"
"Why, no problemo little Lisa. Feel free to talk with your neigborino Ned Flanders again. Old Neddie just loves questions."
Lisa looked under the car again, but this time she crawled underneath to get a better look. When she got her knees under the car she lost her balance and fell flat on her face. Her hand had fallen into a hole. "Ow- hey, there's a hole here. What's a hole doing under Homer's car?" Lisa looked inside. It was too dark to even see the bottom, but Lisa noticed that it was just big enough for her to fit through.
"I probably shouldn't go inside, who knows what could be down there." thought Lisa. She turned around to get out from under the car and began to overhear her next door neighbor talking to someone.
"Oh, hi Todd! Where's your brother on this God-blessed day?" asked Ned Flanders.
"He's inside reading the bible, he taught me a new song today dad"
"Oh really? Let's hear it!"
Todd began singing a very high-pitched and off-key song that made Lisa cringe. She turned around and covered her ears. As she tried to crawl away from the awful singing, she fell into the rabbit-hole under the pink car.
A scream echoed in the deep, seemingly bottomless rabbit hole.
"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh!!!"
Lisa did not know how long she fell, it could have been seconds, minutes, hours, or maybe almost an eternity, but when she finally stopped falling and landed on a pile of brown dirt, she kept screaming anyway.
"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh!!!"
A voice in the darkness interrupted her. "Stop that wailing! What is wrong with you?!?"
Lisa stopped screaming and looked up, all she saw was a tiny white dot directly above her, everything else was pitch black. "Who's there?" asked Lisa.
A portable light, held up by a green tentacle, flicked on and Lisa saw two large, green, one-eyed creatures with domes over their heads and slimy green tentacles instead of bodies.
"Who are you?" asked Lisa.
One of the two stepped forward. "We are on our way to conquer Wonderla-" The other one interrupted the first, "Uh, excuse my comrade's manners. I am Kodos, and we are looking for... my lost dog. Have you... seen any lost dogs around here?"
"Um, no. I'm Lisa. I was looking for a yellow rabbit. Have you seen it around anywhere?"
The first one turned towards Kodos, "Looking for a lost 'dog'? What is a 'dog'? I thought we were looking for the secret entrance to the Red Queen's kingdom, so that our armada of intergalactic spaceships could-" Kodos slapped its comrade with a slimy tentacle and turned back toward Lisa. "Please excuse my comrade again. He forgot to take his medication today and he's under the delusion that he's a space alien bent on intergalactic and trans-fictional conquest. We saw a yellow rabbit run into the tunnel behind us a few minutes ago."
"What is 'Trans-fictional conquest'? I have read some of the greatest works of fiction ever written, but I've never heard of that before." asked Lisa.
The first one replied to Lisa's question: "Why, it is when characters and creations from one work of fiction invade and conquer something in another work of fiction. The concept is quite brilliant, why, Supreme Commander Kodos invented the term when he first used his mighty armada to-"
Kodos slapped its comrade again and then turned toward Lisa. "I again apologize for my comrade's delusional comments, as I have stated earlier, you will find the yellow rabbit in the tunnel behind us, not in one of the other tunnels ahead of us and behind you, which may lead to... my pet dog."
"Why would your dog be lost down here? And why do you look so..."
"...Would ugly be the word you are thinking of, little... Lisa, was it?
"No, no, of course not, Mr. Kodos. I was just meaning to say that I've never seen people who... look so good wearing glass domes."
"Yes, we do look rather handsome in our shiny half-sphere capped cylinders of hard, transparent material."
"You still haven't answered my question."
"It is none of your concern, curious little girl. Now, we would love to continue this conversation, but we really must be on our way to find my lost... pet. As I have said earlier, the rabbit you are looking for went down the tunnel behind us.
"Right behind you? Great! Thank you so much Mr. Kodos." Lisa walked down the tunnel behind them as she said goodbye, but then stopped after a few steps behind them.
"What is it Lisa?", asked Kodos.
"Um, could I borrow one of those portable lights? I left my flashlight at home.", asked Lisa.
"Why, certainly... in fact, you can have one of my spare plartarkian illuminators as long as you promise not to tell anyone you saw us in these tunnels."
Lisa walked in the dark tunnel holding Kodos's spare plartarkian illuminator. It glowed white like the fluorescent lighting at her elementary school, but felt cold to the touch. Lisa examined the light, "This thing is really weird, it doesn't have any openings for batteries, and... what kind of name is 'plartarkian illuminator'?" Lisa suddenly stopped walking when she saw a yellow, one-eared rabbit clad in blue and orange standing right in front of her, wiggling its nose. Again, it ran. And again Lisa chased after it. She ran after it for a few minutes, then she tripped on a rock and dropped her portable light. The tunnel went dark after the "plartarkian illuminator" fell on the ground. "Oh no! Where did that stupid thing g-" Lisa looked up and saw a dim light ahead. She ran toward it.
LISA IN WONDERLAND by Silvertide
Bright rays of the sun occasionally filtered through patches of puffy white clouds on a warm afternoon day. Under the yellow and sometimes clouded sun, a young girl in an orange dress sat under a green tree growing out of a green lawn. It was the sort of warm day to nap under the warm blue sky or curl up reading a good book in the shade. Sitting with her back rested against a tree, the little girl sighed.
"Oh... why can't everyday be this nice?" thought the girl.
She had a book on her lap. She opened it. She put it back down. She closed her eyes. "Maybe I should just take a nap under this tree instead..."
With her eyes still closed, she remembered earlier in the day when her older brother Bart was tormenting her. He had stuffed wet toilet paper into her saxophone. When she tried to play it, no sound came out. Then she checked the tube and found the disgusting mess her brother left behind. When she complained, her brother said, "Hey Lisa, did you know that I used toilet water to wet the paper?" Lisa knew he was lying, but she cleaned her saxophone with rubbing alcohol just in case.
Birds were chirping and butterflies were fluttering in the air. All very nice and relaxing compared to the stress Lisa had earlier in the day. The sun was warm, the air fresh, and all was quiet. Her eyes shot open when she heard little feet running on the green lawn. "What was that?", she thought.
To her left stood a one-eared yellow rabbit wearing an orange jacket and a pair of puffy blue pantaloons. The jacket, with frills along the top and bottom, reminded Lisa of some rabbit from some Disney movie based on some book by some man named Carroll. In fact, the blue puffy pants, and the white Krusty the clown watch the little yellow rabbit was holding reminded her of something too.
"Um, hi!", greeted Lisa. "Hmm... a rabbit in clothes with a pocket watch. You look so familiar, but I can't remember what you remind me of." Lisa inched closer to get a better look. It had big eyes, a small bunny-nose, small buck teeth, and a single left ear that stood up out of a head of spiky hair. It wiggled its nose.
"Oh! That's so cute!" exclaimed Lisa. The rabbit smiled and wiggled its nose again.
"I wonder who you belong to? You look absolutely adorable in that outfit!" giggled Lisa. "Wait a second, why are you yellow? And why does your smile remind me of Bart? I have a strange feeling you're up to no good."
Suddenly, the yellow rabbit in orange turned around and ran away. Lisa got up and chased after it and yelled: "Wait! Where are you going? I'm not done examining you with my inquisitive nature!"
Lisa chased after the orange-clad and blue bottomed animal as it streaked toward her family's garage. It dove under a pink car and disappeared. Lisa looked under her family's lavender vehicle, and saw nothing but the car's wheels, the underside of the car, and the black shadow cast on the driveway. "He's gone! I can't see him anywhere. But I didn't see him run out from under the car, so where could he have gone to?" Lisa looked around and saw a badly kept lawn, a garage full of old junk like empty paint cans and old issues of TV guide, a pile of used garden tools and her next-door neighbor mowing his greener and better kept lawn. Lisa turned toward her neighbor.
"Hi! Have you seen a little yellow rabbit around anywhere?" asked Lisa.
"Why no, Lisa. I haven't seen any rabbit-a-rinos around anywhere. It sure is a nice day today, isn't it? We should praise God for this glorious day, with the happy sunshine coming down on us and..."
Lisa turned away before she had to hear more. "Um, thanks for the help! ...I have to get going now!"
"Why, no problemo little Lisa. Feel free to talk with your neigborino Ned Flanders again. Old Neddie just loves questions."
Lisa looked under the car again, but this time she crawled underneath to get a better look. When she got her knees under the car she lost her balance and fell flat on her face. Her hand had fallen into a hole. "Ow- hey, there's a hole here. What's a hole doing under Homer's car?" Lisa looked inside. It was too dark to even see the bottom, but Lisa noticed that it was just big enough for her to fit through.
"I probably shouldn't go inside, who knows what could be down there." thought Lisa. She turned around to get out from under the car and began to overhear her next door neighbor talking to someone.
"Oh, hi Todd! Where's your brother on this God-blessed day?" asked Ned Flanders.
"He's inside reading the bible, he taught me a new song today dad"
"Oh really? Let's hear it!"
Todd began singing a very high-pitched and off-key song that made Lisa cringe. She turned around and covered her ears. As she tried to crawl away from the awful singing, she fell into the rabbit-hole under the pink car.
A scream echoed in the deep, seemingly bottomless rabbit hole.
"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh!!!"
Lisa did not know how long she fell, it could have been seconds, minutes, hours, or maybe almost an eternity, but when she finally stopped falling and landed on a pile of brown dirt, she kept screaming anyway.
"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh!!!"
A voice in the darkness interrupted her. "Stop that wailing! What is wrong with you?!?"
Lisa stopped screaming and looked up, all she saw was a tiny white dot directly above her, everything else was pitch black. "Who's there?" asked Lisa.
A portable light, held up by a green tentacle, flicked on and Lisa saw two large, green, one-eyed creatures with domes over their heads and slimy green tentacles instead of bodies.
"Who are you?" asked Lisa.
One of the two stepped forward. "We are on our way to conquer Wonderla-" The other one interrupted the first, "Uh, excuse my comrade's manners. I am Kodos, and we are looking for... my lost dog. Have you... seen any lost dogs around here?"
"Um, no. I'm Lisa. I was looking for a yellow rabbit. Have you seen it around anywhere?"
The first one turned towards Kodos, "Looking for a lost 'dog'? What is a 'dog'? I thought we were looking for the secret entrance to the Red Queen's kingdom, so that our armada of intergalactic spaceships could-" Kodos slapped its comrade with a slimy tentacle and turned back toward Lisa. "Please excuse my comrade again. He forgot to take his medication today and he's under the delusion that he's a space alien bent on intergalactic and trans-fictional conquest. We saw a yellow rabbit run into the tunnel behind us a few minutes ago."
"What is 'Trans-fictional conquest'? I have read some of the greatest works of fiction ever written, but I've never heard of that before." asked Lisa.
The first one replied to Lisa's question: "Why, it is when characters and creations from one work of fiction invade and conquer something in another work of fiction. The concept is quite brilliant, why, Supreme Commander Kodos invented the term when he first used his mighty armada to-"
Kodos slapped its comrade again and then turned toward Lisa. "I again apologize for my comrade's delusional comments, as I have stated earlier, you will find the yellow rabbit in the tunnel behind us, not in one of the other tunnels ahead of us and behind you, which may lead to... my pet dog."
"Why would your dog be lost down here? And why do you look so..."
"...Would ugly be the word you are thinking of, little... Lisa, was it?
"No, no, of course not, Mr. Kodos. I was just meaning to say that I've never seen people who... look so good wearing glass domes."
"Yes, we do look rather handsome in our shiny half-sphere capped cylinders of hard, transparent material."
"You still haven't answered my question."
"It is none of your concern, curious little girl. Now, we would love to continue this conversation, but we really must be on our way to find my lost... pet. As I have said earlier, the rabbit you are looking for went down the tunnel behind us.
"Right behind you? Great! Thank you so much Mr. Kodos." Lisa walked down the tunnel behind them as she said goodbye, but then stopped after a few steps behind them.
"What is it Lisa?", asked Kodos.
"Um, could I borrow one of those portable lights? I left my flashlight at home.", asked Lisa.
"Why, certainly... in fact, you can have one of my spare plartarkian illuminators as long as you promise not to tell anyone you saw us in these tunnels."
Lisa walked in the dark tunnel holding Kodos's spare plartarkian illuminator. It glowed white like the fluorescent lighting at her elementary school, but felt cold to the touch. Lisa examined the light, "This thing is really weird, it doesn't have any openings for batteries, and... what kind of name is 'plartarkian illuminator'?" Lisa suddenly stopped walking when she saw a yellow, one-eared rabbit clad in blue and orange standing right in front of her, wiggling its nose. Again, it ran. And again Lisa chased after it. She ran after it for a few minutes, then she tripped on a rock and dropped her portable light. The tunnel went dark after the "plartarkian illuminator" fell on the ground. "Oh no! Where did that stupid thing g-" Lisa looked up and saw a dim light ahead. She ran toward it.