At the end of the dark tunnel was a small room with four dirt walls lit by a single light bulb hanging from the ceiling. A table with a small box lying on it was at the room's center, and a small, foot-and-a-half high door with a one-eared yellow rabbit standing in front of it was at the back of the room.
"There you are!", exclaimed Lisa. The rabbit froze as Lisa walked toward it. It looked up as she got within arms reach of it, and just stared at her, wiggling its nose.
"Oh, that's so cute! But you look so strange... why are you yellow? Why do you only have one ear... did Burn's nuclear plant mutate you like it mutated those three-eyed fish? And why are you holding a "Krusty the Klown" pocket watch?"
The rabbit spoke no replies to Lisa's questions. Instead it quickly turned around, opened the door and hopped through. The door slammed shut and the sound of a lock turning squeaked through the solid mass of the door. Lisa struggled to open the door, but it was sealed tight. She heard faint laughter from behind the door.
"That rabbit is laughing at me! Oh, I knew you were up to no good! You were using my curiosity to play with me, weren't you?!?"
More laughter from behind the door was all Lisa heard in reply. "Well, I don't have to play your little game anymore, I'm going back home!" Lisa turned around, and saw a solid wall where there used to be a door. Her jaw dropped as she stared in horror.
"I'm... I'm trapped! How am I going to get back home? There must be a logical explanation for why the door disappeared."
Lisa searched the wall for a way out. She tried digging into the dirt of the wall, but it was too tightly packed for her small fingers to get into it. Then she tried digging at the floor under the base of the wall. But it also, was too tightly packed to dig through. With brown-stained fingertips, Lisa sat with her back against the wall and sighed. She looked up and saw a small box on the table, her eyes lit up.
"Maybe there's something I can use in that box!" Lisa went to the center of the room and picked up the thing on the table. It was the size of a shoe box and seemed to be made of some sort of wood. Lisa noticed words with an arrow underneath them that was pointing to one end of the rectangular box. Underneath the words "Emergency Door Opener", clearly printed on the box's surface, was the word, "OPEN", in very large lettering, followed by a large arrow pointing toward one end of the box. Lisa tried to open the end of the box the arrow was pointed to, but could not find anything to open.
"It says to open here, but there's nothing to open! Wait, this must be some sort of puzzle, like a Rubic's cube... hmm... there seems to be some fine print in between the word 'open' and the arrow pointing down." Lisa looked very closely, and surely enough, there was very clearly printed and tiny lettering between the word "Open" and the arrow that read: "somewhere else".
"So all together it should read 'Emergency Door Opener, OPEN somewhere else'? Arggh!" groaned an enraged Lisa Simpson. The box was hurled to the floor. Lisa stood simmering with frustration as she stared at the box on the floor. She was much too angry to notice, but a low buzzing sound began to hover around her head.
A high pitched, yet masculine voice spoke to Lisa, "Ola Senorita! Do you need help?"
Lisa looked around the room and saw no one, until she looked up and saw a small yellow and black dot flying in circles over her head. "A talking bee! This is incredible! But... it's a scientific impossibility, how can you talk? ...Wait, did you said you could help me?"
"Si, chiquilla. I am senoir Bombus Monticola, messenger of the great Red Queen herself!"
"Oh, hello! My name is Lisa."
"A bello nombre para one who is such a bella sombra de amarillo."
"Isn't 'bombus monticola' a species of bumblebee?"
"Si! Not only are you very beautiful, but you are also very very smart."
"Um, thanks. You said you can help me?"
"Si, senorita! I saw you try to open the little box, para favor, un momento."
The small bee flew over to the box, it landed on the small lettering that read "somewhere else" and the end of the box that the arrow pointed to clicked open. Lisa picked up the box and found a small glass hammer inside. "What do I do with this?" asked Lisa.
"You use it to open the door, of course." replied the bee.
"Thank you so much, how can I repay you?"
"Well, I was thinking, maybe you have free time later tonight for... dinner? I know this bueno restaurante near her majesty's bilberry bush gardens."
"What?", replied a surprised Lisa.
"By the look on your face, you don't want us to get to know each other better?"
"I'm sorry, but-"
"Oh, it's because of mi nalga grande, isn't it? The female bumblebees are always saying mi nalga is too big for my body, and I always tell them all the male bees are like that, but they always say my yellow and black striped behind is too big anyway! Or maybe you do not like bees who hable en espanol. Perhaps you would like me best if I spoke en francais instead? Mademoisselle Lisa, vous etes tre-"
"No, no. None of those reasons are why I can't go out with you. It might be interesting, I've never heard of a person going out with a bumblebee before. But I'm too young to go out on dates anyway."
"Really? How old are you, little bonita chiquilla?
"I am eight years old."
"Eight years old?!? You are four times older than me! Hmm... maybe you are a little too old for me..."
"What?!? Now just because you find out I'm older than you are, you don't find me attractive anymore?"
"No, you still look very very bella, it is just that I have never dated anybody so much older than me."
"Oh, okay. Um, sorry."
"It is okay, my heart will mend itself, just like it mends itself after every time somebody tells me my yellow and black behind is too big for my body."
"So, how do I use this hammer? Do I just bang on the wall over there so that the doorway will come back?"
"Why would you want to do that?"
"How else am I going to get back home? I'm given up on catching that one-eared rabbit, I'm not falling for his tricks again."
"Oh, the hammer is for the door the Yellow Jester went into. As for the door you came in through... it's not coming back."
"Why not?"
"It decided to take a vacation, it's been on duty without a break for a very long time now."
"What?!? Doors can't go on vacation, that's crazy! How else can I go back home then? Can you call it back for just a minute so I can go back through?"
"Why no, little chiquilla, according to union rules, it can't come back from vacation until its replacement is done with its shift."
"When will the replacement get here?"
"Oh, the replacement is somewhere else, the door you came in through always leads to the tunnels you walked through, but the replacement doesn't like working here, so it is somewhere else right now."
"So... where is the replacement at?" asked Lisa.
"Well, I know it is somewhere behind the little door the Yellow Jester went through, where exactly, I don't know."
"I have to go through that little door to find the way home?"
"Si. On the other side, you can ask his majesty, White Rabbit, for help finding the doorway home."
Lisa sighed, and walked up to the small door with the glass hammer. Senoir Bombus Monticola flew next to her and landed on her shoulder. "So, how do I use this thing?" asked Lisa.
"Just tap three times, senorita."
Lisa tapped on the door three times, but nothing happened.
"I meant the wall around the door, tonta. Tap the wall three times and the door will open."
With the glass hammer in hand, Lisa tapped the wall three times. For a moment, nothing happened. Then the wall began to tremble. A cracking sound groaned from the wall and the dirt that the wall was made of came apart. A pile of dirt and a cloud of dust came down on Lisa as she fell over. Everything went black.
"I wasn't expecting that", said Lisa as she got up out of the pile of dirt. Pieces of plaster wall mingled with brown dirt, was splattered over the floor all around her. On the other side of the door was some sort of plaster wall, and it fell down with the brown dirt wall surrounding the door. Lisa looked up and saw sunlight shining down from behind a canopy of trees. Before her was a pathway into a forest full of mushrooms growing at the roots of massive trees. Lisa looked down, and found the small rabbit-door was still standing. With the sound of a click, the door gently swung open on its own.
"That's a lot of help. With the wall down I can just walk around it. Senior Bombus Monticola, why didn't you tell me this would hap-"
Lisa rushed to the pile of plaster debris. The little bee who helped her earlier was lying on top of the pile, motionless. She tried to wake up the little bee, but he would not move. Gently nudging him with her finger did not wake him. Poking him with a stick did not help. Telling him she would go out with him for dinner did nothing either.
"Oh my God. I feel so sorry. He helped me out, and I accidentally killed him with this little glass hammer... Could I get in trouble for accidentally killing him? He said he was the messenger for some queen."
Carefully looking around, Lisa checked for witnesses. No one else was there, but she heard singing from deep in the forest that lay in front of her. Lisa hesitantly stepped forward onto the forest pathway speckled with patches of sunlight. All was silent except for the rustling of leaves and the sounds of her footsteps, the singing was the only sound in the forest. The singing became clearer as she passed by rows of trees with patches of large mushrooms at their bases. She could not make out the words, but it was obviously an operatic melody sung with a deep, bass-like voice. At the end of the trail were thick-trunked trees, spaced a few feet apart, with a mysterious light from behind them. Lisa tiptoed up to the pathway's end and took a peek at what was behind the line of trees.
"There you are!", exclaimed Lisa. The rabbit froze as Lisa walked toward it. It looked up as she got within arms reach of it, and just stared at her, wiggling its nose.
"Oh, that's so cute! But you look so strange... why are you yellow? Why do you only have one ear... did Burn's nuclear plant mutate you like it mutated those three-eyed fish? And why are you holding a "Krusty the Klown" pocket watch?"
The rabbit spoke no replies to Lisa's questions. Instead it quickly turned around, opened the door and hopped through. The door slammed shut and the sound of a lock turning squeaked through the solid mass of the door. Lisa struggled to open the door, but it was sealed tight. She heard faint laughter from behind the door.
"That rabbit is laughing at me! Oh, I knew you were up to no good! You were using my curiosity to play with me, weren't you?!?"
More laughter from behind the door was all Lisa heard in reply. "Well, I don't have to play your little game anymore, I'm going back home!" Lisa turned around, and saw a solid wall where there used to be a door. Her jaw dropped as she stared in horror.
"I'm... I'm trapped! How am I going to get back home? There must be a logical explanation for why the door disappeared."
Lisa searched the wall for a way out. She tried digging into the dirt of the wall, but it was too tightly packed for her small fingers to get into it. Then she tried digging at the floor under the base of the wall. But it also, was too tightly packed to dig through. With brown-stained fingertips, Lisa sat with her back against the wall and sighed. She looked up and saw a small box on the table, her eyes lit up.
"Maybe there's something I can use in that box!" Lisa went to the center of the room and picked up the thing on the table. It was the size of a shoe box and seemed to be made of some sort of wood. Lisa noticed words with an arrow underneath them that was pointing to one end of the rectangular box. Underneath the words "Emergency Door Opener", clearly printed on the box's surface, was the word, "OPEN", in very large lettering, followed by a large arrow pointing toward one end of the box. Lisa tried to open the end of the box the arrow was pointed to, but could not find anything to open.
"It says to open here, but there's nothing to open! Wait, this must be some sort of puzzle, like a Rubic's cube... hmm... there seems to be some fine print in between the word 'open' and the arrow pointing down." Lisa looked very closely, and surely enough, there was very clearly printed and tiny lettering between the word "Open" and the arrow that read: "somewhere else".
"So all together it should read 'Emergency Door Opener, OPEN somewhere else'? Arggh!" groaned an enraged Lisa Simpson. The box was hurled to the floor. Lisa stood simmering with frustration as she stared at the box on the floor. She was much too angry to notice, but a low buzzing sound began to hover around her head.
A high pitched, yet masculine voice spoke to Lisa, "Ola Senorita! Do you need help?"
Lisa looked around the room and saw no one, until she looked up and saw a small yellow and black dot flying in circles over her head. "A talking bee! This is incredible! But... it's a scientific impossibility, how can you talk? ...Wait, did you said you could help me?"
"Si, chiquilla. I am senoir Bombus Monticola, messenger of the great Red Queen herself!"
"Oh, hello! My name is Lisa."
"A bello nombre para one who is such a bella sombra de amarillo."
"Isn't 'bombus monticola' a species of bumblebee?"
"Si! Not only are you very beautiful, but you are also very very smart."
"Um, thanks. You said you can help me?"
"Si, senorita! I saw you try to open the little box, para favor, un momento."
The small bee flew over to the box, it landed on the small lettering that read "somewhere else" and the end of the box that the arrow pointed to clicked open. Lisa picked up the box and found a small glass hammer inside. "What do I do with this?" asked Lisa.
"You use it to open the door, of course." replied the bee.
"Thank you so much, how can I repay you?"
"Well, I was thinking, maybe you have free time later tonight for... dinner? I know this bueno restaurante near her majesty's bilberry bush gardens."
"What?", replied a surprised Lisa.
"By the look on your face, you don't want us to get to know each other better?"
"I'm sorry, but-"
"Oh, it's because of mi nalga grande, isn't it? The female bumblebees are always saying mi nalga is too big for my body, and I always tell them all the male bees are like that, but they always say my yellow and black striped behind is too big anyway! Or maybe you do not like bees who hable en espanol. Perhaps you would like me best if I spoke en francais instead? Mademoisselle Lisa, vous etes tre-"
"No, no. None of those reasons are why I can't go out with you. It might be interesting, I've never heard of a person going out with a bumblebee before. But I'm too young to go out on dates anyway."
"Really? How old are you, little bonita chiquilla?
"I am eight years old."
"Eight years old?!? You are four times older than me! Hmm... maybe you are a little too old for me..."
"What?!? Now just because you find out I'm older than you are, you don't find me attractive anymore?"
"No, you still look very very bella, it is just that I have never dated anybody so much older than me."
"Oh, okay. Um, sorry."
"It is okay, my heart will mend itself, just like it mends itself after every time somebody tells me my yellow and black behind is too big for my body."
"So, how do I use this hammer? Do I just bang on the wall over there so that the doorway will come back?"
"Why would you want to do that?"
"How else am I going to get back home? I'm given up on catching that one-eared rabbit, I'm not falling for his tricks again."
"Oh, the hammer is for the door the Yellow Jester went into. As for the door you came in through... it's not coming back."
"Why not?"
"It decided to take a vacation, it's been on duty without a break for a very long time now."
"What?!? Doors can't go on vacation, that's crazy! How else can I go back home then? Can you call it back for just a minute so I can go back through?"
"Why no, little chiquilla, according to union rules, it can't come back from vacation until its replacement is done with its shift."
"When will the replacement get here?"
"Oh, the replacement is somewhere else, the door you came in through always leads to the tunnels you walked through, but the replacement doesn't like working here, so it is somewhere else right now."
"So... where is the replacement at?" asked Lisa.
"Well, I know it is somewhere behind the little door the Yellow Jester went through, where exactly, I don't know."
"I have to go through that little door to find the way home?"
"Si. On the other side, you can ask his majesty, White Rabbit, for help finding the doorway home."
Lisa sighed, and walked up to the small door with the glass hammer. Senoir Bombus Monticola flew next to her and landed on her shoulder. "So, how do I use this thing?" asked Lisa.
"Just tap three times, senorita."
Lisa tapped on the door three times, but nothing happened.
"I meant the wall around the door, tonta. Tap the wall three times and the door will open."
With the glass hammer in hand, Lisa tapped the wall three times. For a moment, nothing happened. Then the wall began to tremble. A cracking sound groaned from the wall and the dirt that the wall was made of came apart. A pile of dirt and a cloud of dust came down on Lisa as she fell over. Everything went black.
"I wasn't expecting that", said Lisa as she got up out of the pile of dirt. Pieces of plaster wall mingled with brown dirt, was splattered over the floor all around her. On the other side of the door was some sort of plaster wall, and it fell down with the brown dirt wall surrounding the door. Lisa looked up and saw sunlight shining down from behind a canopy of trees. Before her was a pathway into a forest full of mushrooms growing at the roots of massive trees. Lisa looked down, and found the small rabbit-door was still standing. With the sound of a click, the door gently swung open on its own.
"That's a lot of help. With the wall down I can just walk around it. Senior Bombus Monticola, why didn't you tell me this would hap-"
Lisa rushed to the pile of plaster debris. The little bee who helped her earlier was lying on top of the pile, motionless. She tried to wake up the little bee, but he would not move. Gently nudging him with her finger did not wake him. Poking him with a stick did not help. Telling him she would go out with him for dinner did nothing either.
"Oh my God. I feel so sorry. He helped me out, and I accidentally killed him with this little glass hammer... Could I get in trouble for accidentally killing him? He said he was the messenger for some queen."
Carefully looking around, Lisa checked for witnesses. No one else was there, but she heard singing from deep in the forest that lay in front of her. Lisa hesitantly stepped forward onto the forest pathway speckled with patches of sunlight. All was silent except for the rustling of leaves and the sounds of her footsteps, the singing was the only sound in the forest. The singing became clearer as she passed by rows of trees with patches of large mushrooms at their bases. She could not make out the words, but it was obviously an operatic melody sung with a deep, bass-like voice. At the end of the trail were thick-trunked trees, spaced a few feet apart, with a mysterious light from behind them. Lisa tiptoed up to the pathway's end and took a peek at what was behind the line of trees.