CHAPTER 32

Enough

"What's that?" Sirius peered over at Remus, who was holding something in his hands. They were back on the train, heading home once again. James was still eating his beans, and Peter was stroking Wormtail, who had grown very old and seemed to be holding onto his last breath of life.

"It's that music box we saw last night," Remus said, "June gave it to me. Wanted to give me hope or something. I don't know."

"Interesting," James said, taking it from him and looking it over, "What's it say? It's in French."

"Let me see," Sirius said, examining it over James's shoulder, "I will not die. Nice going away present."

"Give it back," Remus snatched it back, and then eyed Sirius, "I didn't know you could speak French."

"Everyone in the family knows it," Sirius growled mockingly, "For we are pure and better than anyone else in this world. Stupid Toujours Pur."

"Always pure?" Remus said uneasily, "What a lovely family you have."

"Don't I," Sirius said darkly, and then turned to Peter, "How old is that thing anyway?"

"Wormtail?" Peter said, "He's . he's going on five years old . very old for a rat --"

"I bet he doesn't make it to sixth year," Sirius laughed, and then saw that no one else was laughing. The end of fifth year had been enough to kill them all, and now all they wanted to do was get on with their lives and go to summer. Remus had almost killed them.

And Peter -- well, Peter was Peter.

"Look, maybe we should talk about what happened last night," Remus said bravely, looking up at all of them.

"I really don't want to," Peter said quickly.

"We need to, though," Sirius agreed, and then looked to Remus, "What do you want to talk about exactly, Moony?"

"How close did I get," Remus said quietly.

"What do you mean?" James asked through a handful of beans.

"No one will tell me what I did," he said, "Did I get anyone? Did -- did it --"

"No," Sirius said seriously, and then became very stiff, "We walked out of the tunnel, and the wolf came back. You attacked me and Prongs, but we stopped you before you got Hagrid ."

"Hagrid?" Remus shuddered, "Did he see me?"

"No," James said, "He saw me though. Thought I was cute or something."

"Right. I think I remember that," Remus took a deep breath, "I could have killed you," he said solemnly, and then looked right at James and Sirius, "It isn't safe anymore. If I can get out of hand ."

"Moony, me and Padfoot can take you down," James said, "We're both big enough that it isn't a problem."

Remus nodded, agreeing, and then, hesitantly, said, "And you do realize that -- that it isn't me that's -- that I'm not --"

"Don't talk rubbish, Moony," Sirius snorted, "Of course we do."

"Don't start on the whole 'I'm a monster' trip again, please," James sighed.

Remus let out a small laugh, and then looked out the window at the speeding trees. He had thought that he had conquered it. But here were two of his best friends, their faces scratched and bags under their eyes, because of him. He had clawed them. And he could easily kill them.

How could he live with himself if he killed them?

--

Mr. and Mrs. Black were waiting for Sirius as he stepped off of the train. Again, he would be going home. His family had decided that he would never see the inside of the Potter's house again.

There was a difference in the tone at Platform 9 ¾. Many of the parents were dressed in black, and it seemed to be silent as the children greeted them. The four friends realized how different Hogwarts was from the rest of the world. It had seemed like Voldemort had just been a fairy tale, an urban legend. But no. It was real. It was more real than anything else.

"Sirius. Regulus. Come," Mr. Black said forcefully, and then led his two sons out of the station and home.

In their living room, Regulus was invited to sit down and tell them how lovely the year went. Sirius, on the other hand, was shooed away upstairs, and locked in his bedroom. He didn't think there would be any chance of his release any time soon.

His mother screeched day and night at his father about their son. His father tried to keep him away from dinner guests. Regulus snickered behind his back. He was now not only a disgrace, but an outcast. He could hardly take any more of it, but it was better than them sitting down and giving him a talking to again.

--

It was late July when Mrs. Black finally called Sirius out of his room and down to the kitchen to speak with the family. They had once again assembled like the little bugs that they were.

Uncle Alphard (who was looking quite peaky), Aunt Elladora, Narcissa, Bellatrix, Regulus, and his parents all were sitting across from him, sneering and glaring. Except for Uncle Alphard, who was twiddling his thumbs and trying not to look guilty.

"Your cousin been keeping a close eye on you, Sirius," Mr. Black began, "And they say that you have not listened to a word that we said last Christmas."

"You ungrateful wretch," Mrs. Black interjected, "How dare you ignore us, as if we were the common person! We put this house over your head, pay for your schooling -- We thought that perhaps you'd see your error on your own. We thought that possibly those blood traitors could show you just how despicable they are. But I see that we were wrong! But I promise you that you will never see that Potter boy again! I promise you --"

"Oh, shut up, Mother," Sirius barked.

Mrs. Black looked taken aback. She blinked her beady little eyes, and then turned to Mr. Black.

"Do you see what I meant? No respect whatsoever."

"He's not right in the head, Auntie," Narcissa said, "It's not his fault if he's been brainwashed by those Mudbloods."

"Don't you ever call them Mudbloods, you pig," Sirius shouted, standing up to face his cousin.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I was mistaken. James is pure, isn't he? Then what makes him such a bullying git? You like hanging around with him, don't you? You like getting the lime light on you. You like being his lapdog." Narcissa smiled sourly.

And Sirius lunged at her over the table.

Aunt Elladora screamed, and Regulus grabbed his older brother and threw him back. Sirius glared at Regulus, and then started for him. Mr. Black grabbed him by the arms and restrained him from attacking.

"Get off!" Sirius shouted.

"We're going to send you to another school," Mr. Black announced, still struggling with him, "Durmstrang. Where you will learn the true ways of our family. And where none of that Mudblood rifraff will --"

Sirius hit him in the jaw with the back of his head, and Mr. Black let go. Sirius took the opportunity to rush up the stairs, and to his bedroom. He could hear the whole lot of them charging up the stairs after him. But he didn't care. He knew what he was going to do.

And it would not be going to Durmstrang.

"Sirius!" Mrs. Black screamed as Sirius stuffed his trunk full of his belongings, and then pointed his wand at the lot of them as he slammed the lid down.

"What are you doing?" Mr. Black demanded.

"Something that I should have done a long time ago," Sirius said, "I'm not doing it anymore! I hate you! I hate you all!"

"Sirius!"

"Oh, shut it, Mother," Sirius barked, "And get out of the way."

"Sirius."

"GET OUT OF THE WAY!" he shouted, and then ran closer to them, wand still pointed directly between Mr. Black's eyes.

He shoved through them, not waiting for them to respond, and flew down the staircase, and out of the door, slamming it behind him. He could hear the screeching of his mother two blocks away as he ran through the streets, still wearing his wizard robes and dragging his large trunk behind him. But he didn't care how long he'd have to walk. He was going to be free from that place. He was going to be different than Regulus and Narcissa and Bellatrix. He was going to become a good wizard -- an Auror -- and --

The Muggles on the street glanced at him as he made his way through London. How many more blocks did he have to go? He couldn't tell one street from the other --

And he was getting hungry. And it was getting dark.

He decided to stop at a hot dog stand outside of a park, but realized a little too late that the Muggle behind the vendor didn't recognize his Sickles that he was trying to hand him, and shooed him away, thinking that Sirius was trying to play a joke on him.

Stomach grumbling, he made his way through the park. He had never been here. It was a Muggle place . He felt very out of place with his large trunk and robes, but -- where was James's house again?

He looked over at one of the swingsets, where a boy was being pushed by his mother. His expression darkened, and he gripped the handle on his trunk.

"And where are you going today dressed like that?"

Sirius swiveled around to come face to face with a Muggle bobby. He was carrying a nightstick, and looking menacingly at him.

"To my mate's house," he said truthfully, not flinching at all.

"Where are your parents?"
Sirius pointed at the lady with the boy, and said, "There. My little brother and my mum."

The bobby gave him one more look, and then continued on through the park.

--

A knock sounded from the door. It was two o' clock in the morning at least, James guessed as he stirred in his bed. Sprite would surely answer the caller.

Sure enough, Sprite's footsteps were heard from the kitchen, and then the door opened.

"Ah! Master Sirius! Master Sirius looks horrible, Master Sirius!" Sprite said.

The door shut, and James's eyes popped open. Sirius wasn't supposed to be here. He jumped out of bed and made his way down the staircase, peering through the darkness to the large shadow in the entranceway.

"Padfoot?" James whispered.

"Ah, Master James, Master Sirius is here," Sprite said, and then took his trunk, "Sprite will take Master Sirius's trunk, if Master Sirius pleases."

"Prongs, I --" Sirius was at loss for words. Sprite grabbed the trunk, and with great difficulty, lagged it up the stairs, and past James.

"What are you doing here?" he asked.

Sirius shook his head. He looked horrible indeed. He was drenched in rain from outside, and his face was dirty and covered with sweat. His eyes were hollow.
"I ran away from home," he said after a few silent moments.

"What?"

"I -- I couldn't take it anymore -- I didn't know what to do. They were going to send me to Durmstrang," Sirius said, "This is the only other place I have. You said that if I ever needed a home --"

"Come on up," James interrupted him, "We'll talk to my parents in the morning. Your room is still available."

"Thank you," he said quietly as he followed his friend up the stairs and down the hall.

--

Mr. and Mrs. Potter were equally as surprised to see Sirius there the next morning. However, after hearing all that had happened, agreed to house him until he could make other arrangements.

"Don't you want to go back home, Sirius?" Mr. Potter tried to pursuade him to think reasonably, but he said sternly, "No. I'll never go back there again."

And so he stayed with the Potters. And life was the better for it. In July, both James's and Sirius's O.W.L.'s came to the house, and they quickly scanned their marks. All Outstandings. They had done it without any studying whatsoever. Now their choices for classes were endless. They quickly wrote Remus and Peter to see what their grades had been. Two letters came back. One from Remus, saying that he had received all Outstandings except for one Excellent in Charms, and Peter responded that he'd rather not talk about it.

Meanwhile, Sirius had put up some more Chudley Cannon posters and a calendar in his room. He now had his own bedsheets, and other small additions to the bed that made it feel more like home. He had thought that the police would show up on the Potter's doorstep, and force him to go back to 12 Grimmauld Place. But nothing ever was spoken of the Blacks. They seemed to be either embarrased or overjoyed that he had finally gone, because not one owl, Howler, postcard, or anything was ever received from them.

Voldemort's rise to power was continuing. Diagon Alley was now flanked with Aurors. Security checkpoints had been fashioned at the Leaky Cauldron. It was the same story at any other wizarding area. Stories had been coming out in the paper about a legendary group of Aurors led by Albus Dumbledore that was the driving force behind the revolt against Voldemort. No names were mentioned, and no name of the group was given. But James felt as if it must have been the Order that everyone kept talking about.

Mr. Potter was gone from time to time, and he told his family that they were business trips. He worked for the Ministry, and he swore that they were keeping him busy. He wasn't an Auror, oh no -- but every time that he returned home, he was bruised and scarred. And not just on the outside, but inside as well.

But it didn't seem as if the growing Order was helping anything. The Dark Lord was rising, and everyone had forgotten that once his name had been Tom Riddle. Voldemort's name was feared, and his shadow cast a dark spell upon the world, Muggle and wizard alike.
Muggle killings were done for sport. Every day half of the obituaries would be labeled: "Non-magic" and the other half "Magic."

There was an article on the front page one day. There had been a few Death Eaters caught by an Auror, and the Auror's face was plastered under the headline. The caption read: Moody suceeds in capturing. "Moody" looked like something out of a nightmare. One eye was freakishly huge, and it swiveled around in his head. Sirius set the paper down, feeling sort of unnerved. These were to be his coworkers when he got older. Would he end up looking like that?

--

Sixth year came so quickly, and soon they found themselves being searched by Aurors on the platform of King's Cross. They opened their trunks and let the wizards search them through for any weapons or illegal items.

"Have you been to Knockturn Alley in the past thirty days?" one chisled face wizard asked the boys.

"No," they answered.

"Have you had any connections with any person or persons that have been to Knockturn Alley in the past thirty days?"

"Not that I know of," Sirius said, and James shook his head.

"Have you purchased anything from an illegal organization or unknown source and are attempting to proceed to your destination with that purchase?"

"No."

"Do you have any Muggle weapons?"

"No."

"You may proceed," the wizard said as he locked James's trunk again, and ushered them forward. The two boys saw Remus waving from a window of a train compartment, and made their way to the entrance ramp.

"Hold it right there," a very official looking wizard stopped them at the entranceway, and pointed to their bags, "Open them up. We have a few questions before you board the train."
Sirius sighed, and him and James dropped their luggage again. The wizard bent down, waving his wand over the luggage, "Have you been to Knockturn Alley in the past thirty days?"

"No."

"Have you had any connections with any person or persons that have been to Knockturn Alley in the past thirty days?"

"No."

"Have you purchased anything from an illegal organization or unknown source and are attempting to proceed to your destination with that purchase?"

"No."

"Do you have any Muggle weapons?"

"No."

"You may proceed," he waved them on, and they entered the train.

"Like we'd visit Knockturn Alley or purchase illegal things in the two minutes between that checkpoint and this one," Sirius muttered.

Remus stuck his head outside one of the doors, and waved for them to join him. Peter was peering from behind him, and smiled. But it seemed to be a forced smile. Wormtail was no where to be seen.

"Looks like his rat finally died," Sirius said.

Him and James made their way to them, and sat in their usual seats for their sixth time.

"Have you purchased anything from an illegal organization or unknown source and attempting to proceed into Hogsmeade village with that purchase?"

"No," Sirius said, gritting his teeth, and clenching his fists.

"Do you have any Muggle weapons?"

"No. Still no weapons."

"You may proceed."

The four of them made their way into the Hogsmeade platform. It was a clear night, and they could see Hagrid shouting at the first years to follow him. Sirius and James took a seat in a carriage, and Remus and Peter in the one behind them.

--

The common room was crowded that night, filled with new students trying to orientate themselves with the tower, and friends reuniting. James saw Lily from his seat next to the fireplace, and she glared at him. His stomach lurched.

"We almost have the school mapped out," Sirius said, and James turned back toward him,

"Now -- just for the rest of the secret passageways. How many have we found?"

"Four leading out of the school," James reported, "And that's including the Whomping Willow."

"When's the next full moon, Moony?" Sirius asked.

"This next week sometime," Remus said, "I think it's Thursday."

"And let's start looking out for Snivellus," James said, "Because I think he's up to something."

"What do you mean?" Peter asked.

"I mean that he's been following me around all night. He thinks we're up to something. And after last year, I think that he'd give limbs to see us expelled. He's on to us," James shifted in his seat, and then looked at Remus. Remus was looking sort of pale, and then looked back at him.

"He can't find out," Remus said.

"I know," James said, "I know."

--

All of the classes were becoming harder and harder. James, Sirius, and Remus had begun N.E.W.T. level Defense Against the Dark Arts, Potions, Transfiguration, and Herbology. James and Sirius continued with N.E.W.T. level Charms, and Remus took up Muggle Studies. Peter, on the other hand, decided that he was better off with the regular classes.

The new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher was named Professor Nanes. She was very quiet, and very mysterious. She spoke in a low voice, one that all of the boys in the class melted at when they heard it. James swore she must have been part veela.

Severus Snape was in all of Sirius and James's classes, and every time that they talked to each other, he was behind them, leaning in to hear what they said. When James threatened to hex him, he just smiled like he knew their secret, and wouldn't budge from their spot. And then Sirius would continue by hexxing him and walking off with James.

Their first full moon was spent parading around Hogwarts, trying to find a new passageway out. None was found, and they left for Hogsmeade, where they decided that they would try and steal some things out of Zonko's.

But their trip was put under a damper. For they were all thinking about Snape, and they knew that nothing good ever lived forever.