Author's Note: I finished this chapter after enduring the nagging from
ErebusDusk. Lyrics are by Gary Allan. See Chapter One for disclaimers.
"//" indicate italics. Read, review, let me know what you think!
Chapter 3
"Daddy, can I go play with Atari?"
Trip looked up from his Engineering report to his daughter's face "No, Lizzie, ya' can't go play with Atari today."
"Why not?"
"Because ya' didn't make 'yer bed this mornin' like 'yer momma asked."
"You know I didn't have time to make it this morning." Lizzie argued
"Well, ya' would've if ya'd gotten out of bed when I called ya'."
"Daddy, you woke me up a half hour before Ko-mekh does."
Trip sighed, realizing this was going to be a long, drawn out argument. "Darlin', I told ya' this mornin' that I had to be on duty early, so ya' had ta' be up to eat."
"Ko-mekh could have fixed breakfast for me."
"Lizzie, the only reason I woke ya' up early, against yer' momma's advice, was because I promised ya' pancakes last night, and I assumed ya' wanted me to keep ma' promise." Lizzie was silent, and Trip turned back to his report, thinking that she would go off to her room to pout-//Meditate! I meant meditate! Vulcans don't pout.// Then again, on second thought- //Right, and Vulcans don't have emotions either//, he snorted. He returned his full attention to the latest proposal from Ensigns Hussar and Hoosar. Those two were always planning something, and it was because of them that Trip's weekly paperwork was never routine. He tuned out the rest of the world and lost himself in the complex mathematical equations.
Twenty minutes later, the chrono alarm went off. 1250 hours. Trip had to deliver Lizzie to Dr. Phlox for a follow-up exam. She'd had the Vulcan equivalent of a cold last week, and it had kept her out of school on one day.
"Lizzie." He called. He deactivated his PADD and shut down the computer terminal. He hadn't heard her acknowledge his call. Thinking she was engrossed in a book again, he rapped on the doorframe and stuck his head into her room- her empty room. He pushed down a spark of panic. She was probably just in the bathroom. But the bathroom was empty. Her hairbrush wasn't even out of place.
Now Trip let himself feel panic. He did a cursory check of the rest of their quarters, calling her name, not really expecting to find head or hair of his daughter. He paused to think logically for a minute. Lizzie had asked to go play with Atari. That was probably where she'd snuck off to. He hurried down the corridor, walking as fast as he was able. His panic morphed into fear when, upon reaching the Reeds' quarters, he found Atari completing her homework, alone. Where was Lizzie? She didn't have any more lessons today; T'Pol hadn't come to pick her up, she was still on duty.
No longer caring whether it was officer-like or not, Trip ran down the corridor to the small classroom Lizzie took some of her lessons in. The room was empty except for a few bright finger paintings on the walls. She wasn't in the mess hall, the hydroponics bay was deserted, and the only person in the gym-although Lizzie wasn't allowed to go there without an adult- was Travis Mayweather.
Trip made a desperate dash for Sickbay. She had to be here somewhere. But what if she wasn't? He shuddered as he remembered many incidents where crewmen were unable to answer hails, unable to be located. Not his baby, not her. They couldn't take her. Not like his kid sister Lizzie had been taken away. There'd been no trace of her, no body to bury. Try as he might, Trip couldn't suppress the morbid images that came to mind. Eyes filled with dread, he reached Sickbay. He jogged to the farthest biobed, where he heard Doctor Phlox talking to someone behind a privacy curtain.
"Doc!" He called out in an urgent voice.
"Commander?" Thinking that there was a serious emergency, the Denobulan instantly pulled back the curtain to see what was causing the chief engineer such distress, leaving his patient unconcealed.
Trip's heart skipped a beat. There, safe, sound, and contentedly sucking on a lollipop, was Lizzie. A shudder of relief ran through his body. His knees weak, he managed to get to her side, pulling her into a fierce hug. He took in a few deep breaths, taking comfort in the rise and fall of her tiny chest against his.
Having inherited some of her mother's abilities, T'Lizabeth was a touch telepath. And right now, intensely strong emotions were rolling off Trip. T'Lizabeth was confused. Confusion was an emotion, and Vulcans weren't supposed to show their emotions, so this was not very good. Why was Daddy so upset? She'd been at her appointment on time, so Ko-mehk wasn't going to get into a disagreement with him. Daddy wouldn't have to sleep on the couch, as she'd occasionally seen him do, and there weren't any repairs to make at work.
Nearly smothered against her daddy's chest, Lizzie tried in vain to push him away.
"Daddy!" she said, and was ignored. By now, Trip was rocking back and forth slightly. Really, he was trying to get his emotions under control. Lizzie didn't like to see him cry, she always assumed something was terribly wrong.
"Daddy!" she yelled. "I can't breathe!" Her soprano voice cutting through his relief, Trip released her. "What's a matter?" she asked.
Trip was about to say nothing, but then his anger, previously overruled by fear, came bubbling up.
"T'Lizabeth Marian Tucker!" He exclaimed, "Why on Earth did 'ya leave our quarters without my permission?"
"Because you wouldn't let me play with Atari after my homework was finished!"
"Ya' knew ya' weren't allowed to go play today, 'cause ya' didn't do what ya' were s'possed to this mornin'." He replied right back.
"And I told YOU that-"
"Enough!" Trip, recognizing his sudden outburst as a warning sign for a full-blown explosion, quickly bit his tongue. He ignored the surprised look on his daughter's face and turned to Phlox, who had been watching with concerned expression.
"Doc, is T'Lizabeth done?" Trip asked.
Phlox nodded his head, "Yes Commander, she showed no sign of a relapse."
The Chief Engineer gave a curt nod. Then he set T'Lizabeth on the floor and, taking her by the hand, led her out of Sickbay.
Trip kept a firm lid on his anger, barely acknowledging passing crewmembers, until the doors to their quarters had swooshed shut. Not trusting himself to speak just yet, he pointed to the couch and gestured for Lizzie to sit. She complied, still confused.
"Lizzie," Trip said, no longer controlling his emotions. "Why in heaven did ya' leave our quarters without ma' permission? I told ya' not to go play with Atari."
"But I told you why I didn't make my bed!"
"Excuses doesn't mean yer' wrongs are just forgiven." Trip said in an exasperated voice. "Sometimes there's punishment involved."
"But I //told// you-"
"No!" Trip was fast losing control, and his stubborn five-year-old daughter wasn't helping matters. "I told you what ya couldn't do! It's not up for debate!"
No longer in control, Lizzie did a very unwise thing. She shouted, and used the "L" word. "There's no logic-"
"Don't ya' go quoting logic ta' ME!" He yelled. Lizzie winced. She could count on one hand the number of times Daddy had yelled at her. She'd heard him yell, but it was quite different when one was on the receiving end. Feeling her eyes starting to tear, Lizzie did a very unwise thing next.
"Ko-mehk always uses logic when you-"
Trip didn't have to hear the end of the sentence to know what was coming. He snapped like a twig in a drought. He suddenly got right in her face. "Yer' not yer' momma!" he yelled. "And I'm one a' yer' parents too. Yer' s'possed ta' listen to what I say, not Surak or logic. If ya' haven't noticed, Surak wasn't the father of a disobedient five year old!"
He might as well have slapped her, for the effect his brash words had. Tears spilling over and running down her cheeks, Lizzie abandoned her Vulcan heritage and rallied behind her human side.
"I hate you!" She screamed. Then she dashed into her room, making sure to close the door.
At his daughter's words, a knife was suddenly plunged into Charles Tucker's heart. It went deeper than even Lizzie's death had. His little girl hated him. Dolefully, he let himself collapse on the couch, exhausted.
* * *
Trip had entered a light doze, when the call from Engineering came in: core power fluctuations in major systems. He had to be down there now, he couldn't afford to wait for T'Pol to come home. He knocked on Lizzie's door, to let her know he was leaving. But he got no response. He told her anyway.
"Lizzie, I have ta' go ta' Engineering. Yer' mamma should be home soon, but ya' can go ta' Phlox if ya' need him, or call Ensign Cutler." He said. He still got no response. Sighing, he laid his hand on her door briefly, then was gone.
* * *
The power fluctuations had resulted in a minor overhaul of the energy distribution net. Being Chief Engineer, Trip had worked the overhaul straight through. Normally, an overhaul could take two days, with the entire department working around the clock. Being minor, it cut down the time to about twenty hours. Commander Trip's team, being Commander Trip's team, was able to get the overhaul done four hours sooner than projected. Much of the crew worked the overhaul straight through, while others, in dire need of sleep, and taken a break in the middle. In the end, Enterprise's crew had pulled off the overhaul in a little over fourteen hours- definitely a record. Tucker hadn't left Engineering for another two hours, wanting to get his Engineering back in order.
In the end, Trip didn't get home until 0600 hours. The Captain had given him and most of Engineering the day off, so he allowed himself a long leisurely shower to relax. All the shower did was remind him of what Lizzie had said last night. She hated him. His little girl hated him. He'd been hated before, it was nothing new. But this time it was his only child. Was he a bad parent? Maybe he should have let her go play with Atari, but if he had done that, she wouldn't have learned her lesson. What he shouldn't have done was yelled at her. He should have kept his emotions in check, given her a fair punishment for disappearing, and held his tongue. He'd called her disobedient. Really, she wasn't anywhere near that. Sure, she argued a lot, but that was to be expected from such a precocious five-year-old -especially a half-Vulcan one. After all, there was a difference between refusing to get undressed and wanting to know why you had to take a bath.
Sighing, Trip dried himself and put on his pajama bottoms. He checked the chrono: 0645. It was about time to wake T'Lizabeth. He quietly padded over to her room, wanting to see her asleep before she joined the land of the living. His attempts were blundered when he found a tent of sheets and blankets on her bed. He couldn't help but smile. //Guess she wasn't tired enough at bedtime.//
He lifted one side and found her curled up with his old teddy bear.
"T'Lizabeth, time to get up." He said, rubbing her arm. She gave a slight moan, but otherwise didn't stir. "Lizzie, wake up." This time she flung an arm over her eyes to block the light. Trip smiled again. Even if she hated him, Lizzie was Daddy's Girl; neither one of them liked mornings. "Come on, Baby Girl. Bright and shine." This time her eyes opened. She smiled at him and Trip's hopes rose, but then she remembered the events of the day before, and turned away from him. He winced, thinking she must have been taking lessons from her Mother.
"I am displeased with you." She said. Trip sighed, knowing this wasn't gonna go smoothly. "I know ya' are Lizzie." He said. "I'm sorry I yelled at ya' last night." His only response was for her to cross her arms in a pose of defiance, although it wasn't very effective when she was laying in bed wearing her pink and blue teddy bear nightgown. "Darlin', I didn't mean ta' yell. But I was upset, and I wasn't in control." His only reply was a moody, "Obviously."
Now what? What else was there to do? He asked her as much.
"Lizzie, what else am I supposed to do? I said I was sorry, an' I told ya' why I yelled. Don't know what else ya' expect." Lizzie gave no outward reaction to his plea. He waited a moment, but when it was apparent he wasn't going to get anything else out of her, he stood up and started to walk to the door.
"You said I was disobedient."
He turned around. "What, honey?"
"You said I was disobedient." She sat up and looked at him. "I'm not bad, am I Daddy?"
That guilt came cruising back to Tucker faster than Warp 4.9. He went back over to her bunk, dropping his head.
"Aw, Lizzie. I'm sorry I said that. I didn't mean it. Ya' just had me so made with all yer' arguing. Heck, I was upset already, and gettin' inta' it with ya' just made all my control go out the airlock."
Lizzie crossed her legs in front of her, having no sense of modesty like most girls her age. She thought for a moment, remembering the bad emotions Daddy was feeling yesterday. They were all jumbled up, but now she tried to separate them...and failed miserably. The one thing she knew for certain, was that Daddy had been really scared. And he had been thinking about Aunt Lizzie and how she died.
Thoroughly confused, her curiosity won out.
"Daddy, why were you scared when you hugged me in Sickbay?"
Trip was caught by surprise. He gaped at her a moment, until he remembered she'd inherited her mother's gift of touch telepathy. Damn, now what was he gonna say? He didn't wanna frighten Lizzie. Well, he'd always kept a policy of honesty, might as well uphold it. He gave a sigh and built up his nerve.
"I was afraid because I was worried to death somethin' had happened to ya'." He said quietly.
"Why would some thing have happened to me?"
"I didn't know where ya' were," he replied. "And there have been too many times where members of the crew have just disappeared, where friends and family have been suddenly killed." He looked up at her, to find her big blue eyes glued to his. He confessed, in a low voice Lizzie had to strain to hear, "I don't know what I woulda' done if ya'd been one of those people."
Lizzie just stared at her father, suddenly understanding. He'd been scared for //her//, he'd been relieved when he found her safe in Sickbay, and he'd been thinking about Aunt Lizzie because he thought she was in danger. All of those feelings, they were because of her. She'd made Daddy upset.
She was crying before she even knew tears were running down her face. She launched herself into Trip's arms, and he eagerly received her, holding her tight.
"Daddy," she said between sobs, "I'm sorry I scarred you."
"Shhhhhh, it's alright now."
"I didn't mean to upset you. I shouldn't have left without telling you." She cried. "I don't want you to be sad again, like you used to be when Aunt Lizzie died."
Trip almost gasped out loud. How in the world did she know about that? That had nothing to do with telepathy. He hadn't meant for her to find out about that, at least not so early. She shouldn't have to be burdened by his emotions. Feeling tears prick behind his eyes, he pulled Lizzie onto his lap, rocking her as he whispered calming words into her hair.
"Hush now darlin'. It's all right. I'm not scared anymore."
Hearing the tremble in his voice and feeling hot tears on her head, Lizzie pulled away, looking up into his face.
"What's a matter, Daddy?" she asked, reaching up to wipe the tears from his face. The tears upset her, they didn't belong on Daddy's face.
Trip blinked a few times, getting himself under control. "Nothin' honey. I just love ya' so much, I can't help it."
She pondered his face for a time, then seemed to accept his explanation, leaning back into his chest again. Father and daughter stayed this way for a time, until both heard T'Pol getting ready for the day and realized what time it was.
Lizzie gave a final sniff, then pulled away from Daddy's embrace. Running his hands over his face, Trip stood up, about to leave the room and let his daughter dress herself. "Daddy?" he heard her call, and turned around. "Yeah, Lizzie?" "I don't have to go to school until 1000 hours because the class was going to the arboretum for a field trip. Can we make chocolate chip pancakes?" she asked, putting on a hopeful face. "Sure thing." He said with a smile, and turned to go get the hotplate ready. "And Daddy?" he turned again. "Hmmm?" "I don't hate you anymore." Trip's face split into a Southern sunshine grin. Giving his only child a wink, he left the room.
//Scared me to death//
When you took your first steps//
And I'd fall every time you fell down//
Your first day of school, I cried like a fool//
And I followed your school bus to town//
Well I didn't cry, when Old Yeller died//
At least not in front of my friends// * * *
Trip put down his report on the energy distribution net overhaul and checked the time. 2000 hours. He found Lizzie in her room, reading a PADD with her faithful teddy bear. Stopping in her doorway, he interrupted her.
"Lizzie, time fer' bed." He said. She read for a moment more, then turned off the PADD. She settled herself in her bunk, and then looked at Trip expectantly. Flashing a quick smile, he tucked her in, dropping a kiss on her forehead.
"No tent tonight?" he asked. Lizzie gave him a funny look, one of those "Why would I do an illogical thing like that?" looks, then shook her head.
"No, I don't need one tonight."
"And why is that?"
"Because tonight you're here, so no aliens are going to attack and come into my room and hurt me." She said, matter-of-factly. Trip was caught off guard for the second time that day. All he could do was look at his daughter for a minute, until he was able to speak again. Then his face split into a grin as he leaned down and gave her a hug.
"Love ya' Lizzie"
"Love you too, Daddy."
"Sweet dreams, darlin'." And he turned off the lights, turned off his work consol, and dropped onto the couch, holding an old picture of Lizzie to his chest.
//But when tough little boys grow up to be dads//
They turn into big babies again.//
Author's Note II: You've read it, so please take a minute and let me
know what you thought. Bluntly honest reviews are appreciated, I'm
not made of glass. Thanks!
Chapter 3
"Daddy, can I go play with Atari?"
Trip looked up from his Engineering report to his daughter's face "No, Lizzie, ya' can't go play with Atari today."
"Why not?"
"Because ya' didn't make 'yer bed this mornin' like 'yer momma asked."
"You know I didn't have time to make it this morning." Lizzie argued
"Well, ya' would've if ya'd gotten out of bed when I called ya'."
"Daddy, you woke me up a half hour before Ko-mekh does."
Trip sighed, realizing this was going to be a long, drawn out argument. "Darlin', I told ya' this mornin' that I had to be on duty early, so ya' had ta' be up to eat."
"Ko-mekh could have fixed breakfast for me."
"Lizzie, the only reason I woke ya' up early, against yer' momma's advice, was because I promised ya' pancakes last night, and I assumed ya' wanted me to keep ma' promise." Lizzie was silent, and Trip turned back to his report, thinking that she would go off to her room to pout-//Meditate! I meant meditate! Vulcans don't pout.// Then again, on second thought- //Right, and Vulcans don't have emotions either//, he snorted. He returned his full attention to the latest proposal from Ensigns Hussar and Hoosar. Those two were always planning something, and it was because of them that Trip's weekly paperwork was never routine. He tuned out the rest of the world and lost himself in the complex mathematical equations.
Twenty minutes later, the chrono alarm went off. 1250 hours. Trip had to deliver Lizzie to Dr. Phlox for a follow-up exam. She'd had the Vulcan equivalent of a cold last week, and it had kept her out of school on one day.
"Lizzie." He called. He deactivated his PADD and shut down the computer terminal. He hadn't heard her acknowledge his call. Thinking she was engrossed in a book again, he rapped on the doorframe and stuck his head into her room- her empty room. He pushed down a spark of panic. She was probably just in the bathroom. But the bathroom was empty. Her hairbrush wasn't even out of place.
Now Trip let himself feel panic. He did a cursory check of the rest of their quarters, calling her name, not really expecting to find head or hair of his daughter. He paused to think logically for a minute. Lizzie had asked to go play with Atari. That was probably where she'd snuck off to. He hurried down the corridor, walking as fast as he was able. His panic morphed into fear when, upon reaching the Reeds' quarters, he found Atari completing her homework, alone. Where was Lizzie? She didn't have any more lessons today; T'Pol hadn't come to pick her up, she was still on duty.
No longer caring whether it was officer-like or not, Trip ran down the corridor to the small classroom Lizzie took some of her lessons in. The room was empty except for a few bright finger paintings on the walls. She wasn't in the mess hall, the hydroponics bay was deserted, and the only person in the gym-although Lizzie wasn't allowed to go there without an adult- was Travis Mayweather.
Trip made a desperate dash for Sickbay. She had to be here somewhere. But what if she wasn't? He shuddered as he remembered many incidents where crewmen were unable to answer hails, unable to be located. Not his baby, not her. They couldn't take her. Not like his kid sister Lizzie had been taken away. There'd been no trace of her, no body to bury. Try as he might, Trip couldn't suppress the morbid images that came to mind. Eyes filled with dread, he reached Sickbay. He jogged to the farthest biobed, where he heard Doctor Phlox talking to someone behind a privacy curtain.
"Doc!" He called out in an urgent voice.
"Commander?" Thinking that there was a serious emergency, the Denobulan instantly pulled back the curtain to see what was causing the chief engineer such distress, leaving his patient unconcealed.
Trip's heart skipped a beat. There, safe, sound, and contentedly sucking on a lollipop, was Lizzie. A shudder of relief ran through his body. His knees weak, he managed to get to her side, pulling her into a fierce hug. He took in a few deep breaths, taking comfort in the rise and fall of her tiny chest against his.
Having inherited some of her mother's abilities, T'Lizabeth was a touch telepath. And right now, intensely strong emotions were rolling off Trip. T'Lizabeth was confused. Confusion was an emotion, and Vulcans weren't supposed to show their emotions, so this was not very good. Why was Daddy so upset? She'd been at her appointment on time, so Ko-mehk wasn't going to get into a disagreement with him. Daddy wouldn't have to sleep on the couch, as she'd occasionally seen him do, and there weren't any repairs to make at work.
Nearly smothered against her daddy's chest, Lizzie tried in vain to push him away.
"Daddy!" she said, and was ignored. By now, Trip was rocking back and forth slightly. Really, he was trying to get his emotions under control. Lizzie didn't like to see him cry, she always assumed something was terribly wrong.
"Daddy!" she yelled. "I can't breathe!" Her soprano voice cutting through his relief, Trip released her. "What's a matter?" she asked.
Trip was about to say nothing, but then his anger, previously overruled by fear, came bubbling up.
"T'Lizabeth Marian Tucker!" He exclaimed, "Why on Earth did 'ya leave our quarters without my permission?"
"Because you wouldn't let me play with Atari after my homework was finished!"
"Ya' knew ya' weren't allowed to go play today, 'cause ya' didn't do what ya' were s'possed to this mornin'." He replied right back.
"And I told YOU that-"
"Enough!" Trip, recognizing his sudden outburst as a warning sign for a full-blown explosion, quickly bit his tongue. He ignored the surprised look on his daughter's face and turned to Phlox, who had been watching with concerned expression.
"Doc, is T'Lizabeth done?" Trip asked.
Phlox nodded his head, "Yes Commander, she showed no sign of a relapse."
The Chief Engineer gave a curt nod. Then he set T'Lizabeth on the floor and, taking her by the hand, led her out of Sickbay.
Trip kept a firm lid on his anger, barely acknowledging passing crewmembers, until the doors to their quarters had swooshed shut. Not trusting himself to speak just yet, he pointed to the couch and gestured for Lizzie to sit. She complied, still confused.
"Lizzie," Trip said, no longer controlling his emotions. "Why in heaven did ya' leave our quarters without ma' permission? I told ya' not to go play with Atari."
"But I told you why I didn't make my bed!"
"Excuses doesn't mean yer' wrongs are just forgiven." Trip said in an exasperated voice. "Sometimes there's punishment involved."
"But I //told// you-"
"No!" Trip was fast losing control, and his stubborn five-year-old daughter wasn't helping matters. "I told you what ya couldn't do! It's not up for debate!"
No longer in control, Lizzie did a very unwise thing. She shouted, and used the "L" word. "There's no logic-"
"Don't ya' go quoting logic ta' ME!" He yelled. Lizzie winced. She could count on one hand the number of times Daddy had yelled at her. She'd heard him yell, but it was quite different when one was on the receiving end. Feeling her eyes starting to tear, Lizzie did a very unwise thing next.
"Ko-mehk always uses logic when you-"
Trip didn't have to hear the end of the sentence to know what was coming. He snapped like a twig in a drought. He suddenly got right in her face. "Yer' not yer' momma!" he yelled. "And I'm one a' yer' parents too. Yer' s'possed ta' listen to what I say, not Surak or logic. If ya' haven't noticed, Surak wasn't the father of a disobedient five year old!"
He might as well have slapped her, for the effect his brash words had. Tears spilling over and running down her cheeks, Lizzie abandoned her Vulcan heritage and rallied behind her human side.
"I hate you!" She screamed. Then she dashed into her room, making sure to close the door.
At his daughter's words, a knife was suddenly plunged into Charles Tucker's heart. It went deeper than even Lizzie's death had. His little girl hated him. Dolefully, he let himself collapse on the couch, exhausted.
* * *
Trip had entered a light doze, when the call from Engineering came in: core power fluctuations in major systems. He had to be down there now, he couldn't afford to wait for T'Pol to come home. He knocked on Lizzie's door, to let her know he was leaving. But he got no response. He told her anyway.
"Lizzie, I have ta' go ta' Engineering. Yer' mamma should be home soon, but ya' can go ta' Phlox if ya' need him, or call Ensign Cutler." He said. He still got no response. Sighing, he laid his hand on her door briefly, then was gone.
* * *
The power fluctuations had resulted in a minor overhaul of the energy distribution net. Being Chief Engineer, Trip had worked the overhaul straight through. Normally, an overhaul could take two days, with the entire department working around the clock. Being minor, it cut down the time to about twenty hours. Commander Trip's team, being Commander Trip's team, was able to get the overhaul done four hours sooner than projected. Much of the crew worked the overhaul straight through, while others, in dire need of sleep, and taken a break in the middle. In the end, Enterprise's crew had pulled off the overhaul in a little over fourteen hours- definitely a record. Tucker hadn't left Engineering for another two hours, wanting to get his Engineering back in order.
In the end, Trip didn't get home until 0600 hours. The Captain had given him and most of Engineering the day off, so he allowed himself a long leisurely shower to relax. All the shower did was remind him of what Lizzie had said last night. She hated him. His little girl hated him. He'd been hated before, it was nothing new. But this time it was his only child. Was he a bad parent? Maybe he should have let her go play with Atari, but if he had done that, she wouldn't have learned her lesson. What he shouldn't have done was yelled at her. He should have kept his emotions in check, given her a fair punishment for disappearing, and held his tongue. He'd called her disobedient. Really, she wasn't anywhere near that. Sure, she argued a lot, but that was to be expected from such a precocious five-year-old -especially a half-Vulcan one. After all, there was a difference between refusing to get undressed and wanting to know why you had to take a bath.
Sighing, Trip dried himself and put on his pajama bottoms. He checked the chrono: 0645. It was about time to wake T'Lizabeth. He quietly padded over to her room, wanting to see her asleep before she joined the land of the living. His attempts were blundered when he found a tent of sheets and blankets on her bed. He couldn't help but smile. //Guess she wasn't tired enough at bedtime.//
He lifted one side and found her curled up with his old teddy bear.
"T'Lizabeth, time to get up." He said, rubbing her arm. She gave a slight moan, but otherwise didn't stir. "Lizzie, wake up." This time she flung an arm over her eyes to block the light. Trip smiled again. Even if she hated him, Lizzie was Daddy's Girl; neither one of them liked mornings. "Come on, Baby Girl. Bright and shine." This time her eyes opened. She smiled at him and Trip's hopes rose, but then she remembered the events of the day before, and turned away from him. He winced, thinking she must have been taking lessons from her Mother.
"I am displeased with you." She said. Trip sighed, knowing this wasn't gonna go smoothly. "I know ya' are Lizzie." He said. "I'm sorry I yelled at ya' last night." His only response was for her to cross her arms in a pose of defiance, although it wasn't very effective when she was laying in bed wearing her pink and blue teddy bear nightgown. "Darlin', I didn't mean ta' yell. But I was upset, and I wasn't in control." His only reply was a moody, "Obviously."
Now what? What else was there to do? He asked her as much.
"Lizzie, what else am I supposed to do? I said I was sorry, an' I told ya' why I yelled. Don't know what else ya' expect." Lizzie gave no outward reaction to his plea. He waited a moment, but when it was apparent he wasn't going to get anything else out of her, he stood up and started to walk to the door.
"You said I was disobedient."
He turned around. "What, honey?"
"You said I was disobedient." She sat up and looked at him. "I'm not bad, am I Daddy?"
That guilt came cruising back to Tucker faster than Warp 4.9. He went back over to her bunk, dropping his head.
"Aw, Lizzie. I'm sorry I said that. I didn't mean it. Ya' just had me so made with all yer' arguing. Heck, I was upset already, and gettin' inta' it with ya' just made all my control go out the airlock."
Lizzie crossed her legs in front of her, having no sense of modesty like most girls her age. She thought for a moment, remembering the bad emotions Daddy was feeling yesterday. They were all jumbled up, but now she tried to separate them...and failed miserably. The one thing she knew for certain, was that Daddy had been really scared. And he had been thinking about Aunt Lizzie and how she died.
Thoroughly confused, her curiosity won out.
"Daddy, why were you scared when you hugged me in Sickbay?"
Trip was caught by surprise. He gaped at her a moment, until he remembered she'd inherited her mother's gift of touch telepathy. Damn, now what was he gonna say? He didn't wanna frighten Lizzie. Well, he'd always kept a policy of honesty, might as well uphold it. He gave a sigh and built up his nerve.
"I was afraid because I was worried to death somethin' had happened to ya'." He said quietly.
"Why would some thing have happened to me?"
"I didn't know where ya' were," he replied. "And there have been too many times where members of the crew have just disappeared, where friends and family have been suddenly killed." He looked up at her, to find her big blue eyes glued to his. He confessed, in a low voice Lizzie had to strain to hear, "I don't know what I woulda' done if ya'd been one of those people."
Lizzie just stared at her father, suddenly understanding. He'd been scared for //her//, he'd been relieved when he found her safe in Sickbay, and he'd been thinking about Aunt Lizzie because he thought she was in danger. All of those feelings, they were because of her. She'd made Daddy upset.
She was crying before she even knew tears were running down her face. She launched herself into Trip's arms, and he eagerly received her, holding her tight.
"Daddy," she said between sobs, "I'm sorry I scarred you."
"Shhhhhh, it's alright now."
"I didn't mean to upset you. I shouldn't have left without telling you." She cried. "I don't want you to be sad again, like you used to be when Aunt Lizzie died."
Trip almost gasped out loud. How in the world did she know about that? That had nothing to do with telepathy. He hadn't meant for her to find out about that, at least not so early. She shouldn't have to be burdened by his emotions. Feeling tears prick behind his eyes, he pulled Lizzie onto his lap, rocking her as he whispered calming words into her hair.
"Hush now darlin'. It's all right. I'm not scared anymore."
Hearing the tremble in his voice and feeling hot tears on her head, Lizzie pulled away, looking up into his face.
"What's a matter, Daddy?" she asked, reaching up to wipe the tears from his face. The tears upset her, they didn't belong on Daddy's face.
Trip blinked a few times, getting himself under control. "Nothin' honey. I just love ya' so much, I can't help it."
She pondered his face for a time, then seemed to accept his explanation, leaning back into his chest again. Father and daughter stayed this way for a time, until both heard T'Pol getting ready for the day and realized what time it was.
Lizzie gave a final sniff, then pulled away from Daddy's embrace. Running his hands over his face, Trip stood up, about to leave the room and let his daughter dress herself. "Daddy?" he heard her call, and turned around. "Yeah, Lizzie?" "I don't have to go to school until 1000 hours because the class was going to the arboretum for a field trip. Can we make chocolate chip pancakes?" she asked, putting on a hopeful face. "Sure thing." He said with a smile, and turned to go get the hotplate ready. "And Daddy?" he turned again. "Hmmm?" "I don't hate you anymore." Trip's face split into a Southern sunshine grin. Giving his only child a wink, he left the room.
//Scared me to death//
When you took your first steps//
And I'd fall every time you fell down//
Your first day of school, I cried like a fool//
And I followed your school bus to town//
Well I didn't cry, when Old Yeller died//
At least not in front of my friends// * * *
Trip put down his report on the energy distribution net overhaul and checked the time. 2000 hours. He found Lizzie in her room, reading a PADD with her faithful teddy bear. Stopping in her doorway, he interrupted her.
"Lizzie, time fer' bed." He said. She read for a moment more, then turned off the PADD. She settled herself in her bunk, and then looked at Trip expectantly. Flashing a quick smile, he tucked her in, dropping a kiss on her forehead.
"No tent tonight?" he asked. Lizzie gave him a funny look, one of those "Why would I do an illogical thing like that?" looks, then shook her head.
"No, I don't need one tonight."
"And why is that?"
"Because tonight you're here, so no aliens are going to attack and come into my room and hurt me." She said, matter-of-factly. Trip was caught off guard for the second time that day. All he could do was look at his daughter for a minute, until he was able to speak again. Then his face split into a grin as he leaned down and gave her a hug.
"Love ya' Lizzie"
"Love you too, Daddy."
"Sweet dreams, darlin'." And he turned off the lights, turned off his work consol, and dropped onto the couch, holding an old picture of Lizzie to his chest.
//But when tough little boys grow up to be dads//
They turn into big babies again.//
Author's Note II: You've read it, so please take a minute and let me
know what you thought. Bluntly honest reviews are appreciated, I'm
not made of glass. Thanks!