(Note from the author: These are not my characters, my world, and my situations. They all belong to J. K. Rowling, and are protected by copyrights.)

The four remaining recruits that had not pledged their loyalty to Dumbledore had exactly until the last day of school to give them their answer. On top of this, they had their N.E.W.T.'s, the obligation to go with Remus every month to the Shrieking Shack, and of course, the impending Graduation Dance and Graduation altogether.
N.E.W.T.'s seemed so insignificant in the big scheme of things anymore. They would already have a job lined up for them if they decided to go with Dumbledore's offer. If not, then most of them would be going into hiding. What was the point of earning N.E.W.T.'s if you didn't need them? None of them were going to live the lives that they had thought they would a few days ago. Their entire existence and purpose for living changed that night that they had been invited to join the doomed souls of the Order.
Peter and Lily told Sirius that next morning that Remus was willing to go through with it. Sirius had been sort of surprised. He had always thought that if any of them never joined the Order, it would be Remus. After all, he was a . . . well, a werewolf.
He would have never believed James's reaction. If someone had told him a year prior to the present that his friend would have rejected the offer to go kill off Voldemort, he would have thought you to be nutters. No one else seemed to understand James's refusal either.
"He looked like someone I've never seen before," Sirius told his two remaining friends at lunch on the first day back to school. James had seated himself with Lily on the other end of the Gryffindor table, and wouldn't look at the three of them.
"I know," Remus said, "He's just like he was after his sister died. I thought we had him back."
"He hit me," Sirius said darkly, digging into his food.
"What?" Peter squeaked, "He hit you?"
As Sirius reached for a roll in the middle of the table, his sleeve fell to his elbow, unveiling a large purple and black bruise covering his forearm.
"Did he do that?" Remus asked quietly.
Sirius looked to what the two of them were gawking at, and quickly covered it. He didn't answer, and bit into the roll. And he didn't look too happy. He glared back at James and Lily.
"I was thinking," Peter said, tapping his fingers on the table, "About Dumbledore's offer?"
"Yeah?" Sirius said through a mouthful of bread.
"And I was wondering what you two were going to do about it," he said, "Remus has already said yes. And I was thinking it may be an adventure . . . "
"I'm doing it," Sirius said quickly.
"You are sure?" Remus asked.
"Yeah," Sirius said, grabbing for another roll, "Of course I am."
"That Longbottom man didn't think you would," Peter said, "He was sure that you wouldn't."
"Well, he's wrong, isn't he?" Sirius said gruffly.
Remus turned to look at their distant friend, and then said quietly, "Do you think that James will come around?"

"If Lily can talk him into it, I bet he will," Sirius growled.
Remus scowled, and Sirius sighed, "No, I don't think that he's going to come around."
"Why?" Peter asked.
"Reasons," Sirius muttered, and didn't elaborate on his answer.

"Would you like to talk about it?" Lily asked, toying with her food. James hadn't touched his lunch. He was sitting there, arms folded on the table, looking at his hands. He hadn't said a word.
"James?" she said hopefully.
"No, I wouldn't like to talk about it," he replied.
"It wasn't your fault, James," Lily said, "There's no way that you could have known about Legilimency."
"I should have known about it," James said, his eyes shooting up to look her in the face, "I should have known about what he was capable of. I should have just grabbed Remus and ran in the opposite direction when I saw them. I should have . . ."
"You saved his life, James," Lily cut him off, and then James was quiet again, "If it weren't for you, they would have killed him."
"He told me not to look them in the eyes," James said.
Lily sighed, and then looked down at her plate again. She poised her fork on her plate, and then said quietly, "I've been thinking about what Dumbledore told us."
"And what are you going to do?"
"I don't know," Lily said, "I thought maybe we could discuss it together."
"Why."
"Well," Lily said, "Because I really do like you James. And I think that maybe we should possibly find out what the other person is doing before making a decision on our own."
James didn't respond, but kept staring at her. What was she hinting at?
"What are you talking about?" he asked.
"And I was thinking that maybe you should reconsider your decision," she continued on on top of him.
"Why."
"James, everyone's worried about you," Lily said, setting her fork down, "Sirius, Remus, and Peter . . . just look at them. They think you've lost it."
"They don't understand," James mumbled.
"And I'm starting to think so, too," she said, worried, "You won't even talk to Sirius anymore."
James didn't speak. He didn't want to start pouring out his emotions to anyone. He just wanted to be left alone. He didn't want to think about Dumbledore or the Order or his father.
He hated his father now.
"I'm not going to do it," he said, "I thought I made that clear that night."
"Remus has already decided to," Lily said, and James's stature fell, "And Sirius told me last night that he wants you to know that he's going through with it, too."
"You're talking to Sirius all of a sudden?" James asked.
"He's worried about you," Lily protested, "They're all worried about you."
"As you've told me before," James snarled.
"For God's sake, James," Lily said, "You're not alone. We're in the same boat as you."
"Is your sister dead? Were you at the park? Is Voldemort out to kill you?" he asked, "No, he's not. So don't you say that you're in the same boat as I am."
"I'm joining the Order," Lily said quickly, and then stood up, "I said it. I'm joining. Thought you'd like to know."
And then she walked away from him, and out of the Great Hall. James clenched his fists, and swallowed hard.
He looked down the table to where his three friends were quietly talking to each other. Contemplating for a moment, he mussed his hair, picked up his food, and felt his legs walking towards where they were seated.
Remus was the first one to spot him, and he looked very taken aback. Sirius turned around, and opened his mouth to say something, but decided against it, and closed it.
"Mind if I join you?" James asked quietly.
Remus shrugged, and Peter continued to look down at his food. Sirius turned back in his seat, and picked up another roll.
But Remus could see a small smile escape from his lips.

The full moon shone brightly on all four of them as they emerged from the Whomping Willow. They had lost the map, and therefore it wasn't safe to go wandering around Hogwarts anymore. They were stuck outside.
And they had all decided to head into the Forbidden Forest.
As they crossed the grounds to the foreboding trees across from them. Yet none of them were really there that night. Their heads were off in another world.
They were all contemplating what they were going to do in the next semester. This meant, for Moony, trying to get good enough N.E.W.T.'s so that he could make a decent living without the Order's help. He had given everything up . . . all of his dreams of becoming a teacher . . . for Dumbledore. He wanted to do the right thing. He knew that he couldn't live with himself if he didn't.
Padfoot was debating on whether or not to move. He wanted to be part of the Order, and therefore the best way to do that was to devote his services to them full time. This meant them giving him room and board. What was he to do after he graduated? What if they were all killed off?
Wormtail was remembering what Dumbledore had said to him. That he had been a loyal friend. And he was also contemplating if his choice had been the right decision. Voldemort was very powerful. And he had killed many without a second thought.
Wormtail shuddered.
And finally, Prongs. Prongs was going over and over in his head the decision that he should make.
I have to protect myself.
You have to protect your friends, his conscience told him.
I'll just kill them if I join, he argued.
Lily's joining.
That was right. Lily was joining. She had tried to tell him, but it had come so hard for her. And she said that she liked him? What exactly did that whole conversation mean?
The four of them walked into the Forest, past Hagrid's hut, and onto a trail, steering far away from the open Centaur Field.
The stag was trailing behind, and not taking his spot on the side of Moony. Padfoot barked, and Prongs caught up with them.
Five more full moons before they graduated. Five more adventures to remember for the rest of their lives. Five more, and none of them were enjoying it.

Quidditch started up again in February, and James felt the weight from his shoulders lighten a little. It was like he could escape all of his problems with a broomstick and the sky above him.
And now that he was captain, he felt a new sort of power.
At least this aspect of his life he could control.
"All right, gather around," James told the team as they got ready for their first practice after the break. Most of them were new, and had replaced the graduated members that had gone on to bigger and better things.
"Today, we're going to be playing a scrimmage, with no Bludgers or a Snitch."
"No Bludgers?" Greasings exclaimed, "Then what are we supposed to do?"
"I'm going to referee," he said, "The six of you are splitting into two teams. Two of you are Chasers, the third is a Keeper. This teaches teamwork, concentration, and it will give most of you a chance to do something that you've never done before."
They didn't argue, since James was known for being one of the best Quidditch players that Hogwarts had ever seen. But a second year, named Jacob Brimmings, had joined the team, and he was said to be the next Potter on a broomstick. He was playing Chaser for their team this year, and James knew that this rookie would give them some sort of advantage over Slytherin, who had also welcomed a large and oafish Keeper to their team.
Sirius and Lily had walked to the Quidditch pitch together that evening to see James in action. Upon arriving, they were happy to see a delighted boy flying in every which way, blowing the whistle at any fouls. He was mussing his hair, and most importantly, smiling.
Sirius and Lily took a seat in the stands, and watched the team's entire practice. They had their James back, if just for a little while.
"You love him, don't you?" Sirius said out loud, leaning back in his seat.
Lily blinked, and stared at him, "What?"
"You love him," he repeated for her slower, and Lily scoffed.
"Well, I . . ."
"Oh, for God's sake, you either do or you don't," Sirius groaned.
Lily shifted in her seat, and then crossed her legs, "I really don't think that's any of your business."
Sirius laughed his barking laugh, and then set his feet on the bleacher in front of them, "You'd think I was asking you something important."
"It depends on how you define love," she said in thought.
"Oh, please," Sirius groaned again, sitting up, "James is right. You do think too much. Look, Evans, I'm no romantic, but I don't think that it's that hard to define."
Lily didn't answer his question. She went back to staring at James high in the sky. But her face was one of content. She was smiling as broadly as James.