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Lord Elrond didn't call out again. I think he will come to talk with me later on when he feels I've calmed myself. Or rather, I know he will come to talk to me.
As I strode away I could feel every eye on my back and I found that I didn't care. I simply could not stay there a moment longer and I prayed that Lord Elrond understood my inner turmoil and would allow this incident to slip past.
I am walking now, down a set of stairs that lead to one of the far rear woodland paths. As I reach the bottom I take a moment to collect myself; to gain a sense of control over my carefully schooled, but unusually exposed emotions. Despite what the Lords Elladan and Elrohir might think, or even comment on, I do possess them. Emotions, that is. I think I could actually use a wit-filled bantering session with the twins right about now if I am perfectly honest.
I feel a smile working its way to the surface at that very thought.
I start walking down the path, allowing my feet to lead me as I do so. I know that once the Council Meeting is over, Glorfindel will come looking for me. He is a dear friend and I do not think he realises just how much his company alone keeps me sane. His small jests, mischievous comments, his entire self... His friendship along with that of Lord Elrond and the twins are what keep me here in Middle-earth. If not for them, I would have left for the Havens long ago.
Without realising it, I've found myself in one of the few places I like to go to, to be alone with my thoughts. It is a small clearing amongst the trees and bushes. A simple formation of three large rocks sits along in the centre.
I make my way towards the rocks slowly and I am reminded once more of why I come to this place. Nothing honestly comes to mind when I look upon these three rocks and for reasons that only the Valar are even capable of comprehending, I find that comforting.
When Glorfindel first looked at them he told me he sees an image of the sun rising from the east with the mountain walls sloping down to meet at ground level. I remember when I heard this 'view' for the first time. I granted my fair-haired friend a sideways glance and a raised eyebrow before saying, "Such poetic words...". Yet, I could not resist adding on, "For you." As amusing as I found my words to be, Glorfindel did not share in my humour and so I quickly found myself doused in the contents of the water-skin that was attached to his hip. Such good friends I have.
I laugh lightly at my thoughts as I climb the rocks to rest on the large boulder with ease. The boulder, in the context of Glorfindel's rather poetic image, represented the 'sun'; the two other rocks would then represent the sloping sides of the valley.
I sigh and look upwards at the now darkened night sky. I lean back, steadying myself by resting on my elbows.
I feel, rather than hear, Glorfindel approach and allow myself the briefest of smiles. He really is a good friend. I do not feel as though I deserve such an honour, though he never fails to tell me different whenever I voice my thoughts.
"Is he angry?" I ask, my tone a mere whisper, but I know my companion hears me. I hear him climb on the 'valley walls' and take rest on the wall to the left as my feet are propped up on the wall to the right.
"You know he is not angry." I hear his melodic voice chime not so much louder as my own had been. "He understands your pain.", He continues, "He goes through the same pain."
I allow my eyes to drift shut and my head to fall back.
I know he is correct.
"'Fin, I am over 5000 years of age, and I cannot even find it within myself, to teach the subject of the last alliance." My tone is harsh; I send a silent apology out that I know he just-as-silently accepts. "What kind of Elf does that make me?", I mutter. I care not that I sound self- reproachful. I hear him shift beside me and the faintest of sighs escape his lips.
"'Restor, you are affected by your past. It is nothing to be ashamed of. And your age has naught to do with anything either." His words are of great comfort to me and again I am finding myself thanking the Valar for granting the companionship we share.
I don't respond to his statement and he takes it as permission to ramble - pardon me, 'continue talking'.
"After you left the meeting, silence reigned over all in attendance as they stared at your retreating back, and then the steps you'd just vacated." He moves from the rock to sit on the more comfortable grass by it. I know it is an invitation so after a moment I follow him, take my seat between his parted legs and rest my back against his chest. Only then do I smile at his words. Whenever we are both here alone, I do not feel like talking and he has the pent-up energy of a very spry elfling, he fills the silence with seemingly well-scripted words. A prettied, humorous dialect we have deemed, 'Proper Speech'. The twins like to add on 'The magnificent style of 'Fin' just to annoy him.
"Estel offered the young Halfling, Frodo, his sword. Our dearest Mirkwood Prince pledged his bow and the Dwarf..." Glorfindel spoke the word 'Dwarf' with humoured distaste. "Gimli, son of Gloin offered his axe." I knew what was coming next and couldn't help it when a ghost of a smile found its way to my lips. "Of course, that was after you Greenleaf spoke up." I feel him chuckle lightly. "The Halfling's kin bombarded the meeting, all expressing their desire to accompany young Mr Baggins on his quest and all saying that they were not, under any circumstances to be left behind." I hear him hesitate but he continues anyway. "The Istar is going with them also, as well as the man from the city of Gondor, Boromir, son of Denetor, who kindly offered his 'services'"
I chuckle at the small level of contempt in my friend's voice when he mentions the man.
"When the meeting was over, I stepped out from my station, still behind your vacated chair and after a short but meaningful and very un-elf-like glare at the Istar; I followed the path you took." He says this with so much pride and I see him holding his hand out as if to check his well- manicured nails, I cannot help but laugh loudly. "I expect him to question our beloved Lord Elrond on the matter and then if we are lucky, an apology will be made."
"He asked not for pardon, 'Fin. You know that as well as I and I do not expect one. One Elf's past should not affect the Istar." I say, my laughter quickly subsiding.
"'Restor be silent. Just smile your pretty smile, nod and agree with me as you know I always come out on top in matters such as these." He is right, but I would not feed his ego anymore than it has already been fed, however graceful he holds it. So I don't respond to the remark and I can feel, literally feel, that smug smile on his face.
I roll my eyes and lean back further into him, smiling at the level of comfort his mere presence brings me. I feel his fingers move deftly through my hair and I close my eyes.
"I can understand the need for the meeting." I say, my voice quiet and solemn. "The ring must be destroyed, I know this. But what I find myself unable to comprehend is the Istar's need to quote that... that vile speech." Glorfindel says nothing and I silently thank him for his patience. "I know what is done is done - there is little point dwelling on such things now... but I can't..." I curse myself for the treacherous emotions I possess. "I just can't 'Fin. I was an Eldar at the last Alliance battle. Already had I seen much. Death, destruction, pain, depression, heartache." I stop short when I feel a tear run down my left cheek.
"Erestor." He speaks. "I share your pain, Mellon. I will forever carry your hand in friendship until such a time when you want me no longer... And even then I will offer you my hand. Worry not, those days of fear, distress and pain are over for you. I promise this." He kisses the top of my head and I smile once more.
Glorfindel, Elbereth bless his soul. What have I done to deserve him?
"You always seem to know my thoughts and worries Glorfindel. What would I do without your council?" My tone is wistful. I do not expect an answer and he does not offer one. We just sit together in silence, enjoying the other's closeness and forgetting about the outside world.
At least for a short while...
Hope you enjoy. Review!!
Thank you!
A Counselor's Musings - Friendship.
Lord Elrond didn't call out again. I think he will come to talk with me later on when he feels I've calmed myself. Or rather, I know he will come to talk to me.
As I strode away I could feel every eye on my back and I found that I didn't care. I simply could not stay there a moment longer and I prayed that Lord Elrond understood my inner turmoil and would allow this incident to slip past.
I am walking now, down a set of stairs that lead to one of the far rear woodland paths. As I reach the bottom I take a moment to collect myself; to gain a sense of control over my carefully schooled, but unusually exposed emotions. Despite what the Lords Elladan and Elrohir might think, or even comment on, I do possess them. Emotions, that is. I think I could actually use a wit-filled bantering session with the twins right about now if I am perfectly honest.
I feel a smile working its way to the surface at that very thought.
I start walking down the path, allowing my feet to lead me as I do so. I know that once the Council Meeting is over, Glorfindel will come looking for me. He is a dear friend and I do not think he realises just how much his company alone keeps me sane. His small jests, mischievous comments, his entire self... His friendship along with that of Lord Elrond and the twins are what keep me here in Middle-earth. If not for them, I would have left for the Havens long ago.
Without realising it, I've found myself in one of the few places I like to go to, to be alone with my thoughts. It is a small clearing amongst the trees and bushes. A simple formation of three large rocks sits along in the centre.
I make my way towards the rocks slowly and I am reminded once more of why I come to this place. Nothing honestly comes to mind when I look upon these three rocks and for reasons that only the Valar are even capable of comprehending, I find that comforting.
When Glorfindel first looked at them he told me he sees an image of the sun rising from the east with the mountain walls sloping down to meet at ground level. I remember when I heard this 'view' for the first time. I granted my fair-haired friend a sideways glance and a raised eyebrow before saying, "Such poetic words...". Yet, I could not resist adding on, "For you." As amusing as I found my words to be, Glorfindel did not share in my humour and so I quickly found myself doused in the contents of the water-skin that was attached to his hip. Such good friends I have.
I laugh lightly at my thoughts as I climb the rocks to rest on the large boulder with ease. The boulder, in the context of Glorfindel's rather poetic image, represented the 'sun'; the two other rocks would then represent the sloping sides of the valley.
I sigh and look upwards at the now darkened night sky. I lean back, steadying myself by resting on my elbows.
I feel, rather than hear, Glorfindel approach and allow myself the briefest of smiles. He really is a good friend. I do not feel as though I deserve such an honour, though he never fails to tell me different whenever I voice my thoughts.
"Is he angry?" I ask, my tone a mere whisper, but I know my companion hears me. I hear him climb on the 'valley walls' and take rest on the wall to the left as my feet are propped up on the wall to the right.
"You know he is not angry." I hear his melodic voice chime not so much louder as my own had been. "He understands your pain.", He continues, "He goes through the same pain."
I allow my eyes to drift shut and my head to fall back.
I know he is correct.
"'Fin, I am over 5000 years of age, and I cannot even find it within myself, to teach the subject of the last alliance." My tone is harsh; I send a silent apology out that I know he just-as-silently accepts. "What kind of Elf does that make me?", I mutter. I care not that I sound self- reproachful. I hear him shift beside me and the faintest of sighs escape his lips.
"'Restor, you are affected by your past. It is nothing to be ashamed of. And your age has naught to do with anything either." His words are of great comfort to me and again I am finding myself thanking the Valar for granting the companionship we share.
I don't respond to his statement and he takes it as permission to ramble - pardon me, 'continue talking'.
"After you left the meeting, silence reigned over all in attendance as they stared at your retreating back, and then the steps you'd just vacated." He moves from the rock to sit on the more comfortable grass by it. I know it is an invitation so after a moment I follow him, take my seat between his parted legs and rest my back against his chest. Only then do I smile at his words. Whenever we are both here alone, I do not feel like talking and he has the pent-up energy of a very spry elfling, he fills the silence with seemingly well-scripted words. A prettied, humorous dialect we have deemed, 'Proper Speech'. The twins like to add on 'The magnificent style of 'Fin' just to annoy him.
"Estel offered the young Halfling, Frodo, his sword. Our dearest Mirkwood Prince pledged his bow and the Dwarf..." Glorfindel spoke the word 'Dwarf' with humoured distaste. "Gimli, son of Gloin offered his axe." I knew what was coming next and couldn't help it when a ghost of a smile found its way to my lips. "Of course, that was after you Greenleaf spoke up." I feel him chuckle lightly. "The Halfling's kin bombarded the meeting, all expressing their desire to accompany young Mr Baggins on his quest and all saying that they were not, under any circumstances to be left behind." I hear him hesitate but he continues anyway. "The Istar is going with them also, as well as the man from the city of Gondor, Boromir, son of Denetor, who kindly offered his 'services'"
I chuckle at the small level of contempt in my friend's voice when he mentions the man.
"When the meeting was over, I stepped out from my station, still behind your vacated chair and after a short but meaningful and very un-elf-like glare at the Istar; I followed the path you took." He says this with so much pride and I see him holding his hand out as if to check his well- manicured nails, I cannot help but laugh loudly. "I expect him to question our beloved Lord Elrond on the matter and then if we are lucky, an apology will be made."
"He asked not for pardon, 'Fin. You know that as well as I and I do not expect one. One Elf's past should not affect the Istar." I say, my laughter quickly subsiding.
"'Restor be silent. Just smile your pretty smile, nod and agree with me as you know I always come out on top in matters such as these." He is right, but I would not feed his ego anymore than it has already been fed, however graceful he holds it. So I don't respond to the remark and I can feel, literally feel, that smug smile on his face.
I roll my eyes and lean back further into him, smiling at the level of comfort his mere presence brings me. I feel his fingers move deftly through my hair and I close my eyes.
"I can understand the need for the meeting." I say, my voice quiet and solemn. "The ring must be destroyed, I know this. But what I find myself unable to comprehend is the Istar's need to quote that... that vile speech." Glorfindel says nothing and I silently thank him for his patience. "I know what is done is done - there is little point dwelling on such things now... but I can't..." I curse myself for the treacherous emotions I possess. "I just can't 'Fin. I was an Eldar at the last Alliance battle. Already had I seen much. Death, destruction, pain, depression, heartache." I stop short when I feel a tear run down my left cheek.
"Erestor." He speaks. "I share your pain, Mellon. I will forever carry your hand in friendship until such a time when you want me no longer... And even then I will offer you my hand. Worry not, those days of fear, distress and pain are over for you. I promise this." He kisses the top of my head and I smile once more.
Glorfindel, Elbereth bless his soul. What have I done to deserve him?
"You always seem to know my thoughts and worries Glorfindel. What would I do without your council?" My tone is wistful. I do not expect an answer and he does not offer one. We just sit together in silence, enjoying the other's closeness and forgetting about the outside world.
At least for a short while...
Hope you enjoy. Review!!
Thank you!