(Note from the author: These are not my characters, my world, or my
situations. They all belong to J. K. Rowling, and are protected by
copyrights.)
Their rooms looked deserted that next Saturday morning. All of the items that they had acquired the past two months were now packed away, and ready to be shipped off for their new houses. Moody was helping them lag their things downstairs and out of the second floor corridor. He grumbled the entire time about too many physical possessions, and how none of them had their priorities in the right order or some other rant such as that. Marlene and Sturgis had shown to help them out in their packing, and Marlene was speaking jovially with Lily about her engagement and wedding.
"Oh, it's going to be so lovely," Marlene said, "I remember me brother's wedding. The most beautiful sight I've ever seen was his bride, walking down the aisle in her long dress. And you're going to be just as beautiful."
Lily beamed as she dragged her trunk down the stairs.
"Are we all ready to go?" James shouted from the bottom of the staircase, "The cars are going to be here any minute!"
"Remus is still upstairs," Peter offered as he ran past Lily and Marlene.
"What's keeping him," Sirius said, "We need to go."
James mussed his hair, and then peered into the second floor corridor, a look of confusion on his face.
"Prongs?" Sirius asked, coming to his side. James shook his head, and then started up the staircase.
"I'll be back in a minute," he said, and then flew out of sight.
"That's bollocks," Sirius sighed, and dragged his trunk to the front door.
James thought that something must have been wrong. Remus would have never been late. Only if something was preoccupying him.
And sure enough, he found his old friend sitting on his bed, staring out the window to the house next door. In his hands was the bent and twisted metal that had once been a music box.
"Hey, Moony," he said, knocking on the door, "We're ready to head out, if you're all packed."
Remus turned around and embarrassingly stuffed the object into his pack, "Yeah, I'm ready. Let's go."
His face was solemn again, not letting anyone know what he was thinking. His lips were pursed as he zipped the pack carefully and in control, and then stood to face James. He forced a weak smile onto his face, and then said, "I know it's sort of childish. Keeping it. But somehow it helps me."
James nodded, "Yeah, I know."
"It gives me a sort of hope," Remus added, his eyes drifting down to the floor, "I don't know why."
The two of them walked out of the doorway, and at the last minute, Remus turned to look at the vacant room, now empty of any inhabitants.
"Hey, Lupin?" James started, "Can I ask you a question?"
"Yeah," Remus said, "What is it?"
"When you woke up the morning after Voldemort took us," James said, "You said that you saw June in there with you."
Remus's eyes shifted.
"Did you?" James said, "Is there . . . did he come back?"
Suddenly Remus realized what James was truly asking, and he bit his lip.
"James . . ."
"No, did you see him?" he asked again, "Or was it just some . . . just some hallucination?"
"Sometimes I see him," Remus said seriously, "In my dreams. That's the only place that we can see them, Prongs. In our dreams."
James's face fell, and his gaze went back to the vacant room as well, "I don't believe that."
"You have to," he said, putting his free hand on his friend's shoulder, "They're dead, James."
It sounded so odd now. They're dead, James. He had said it himself, that his parents were dead. He had gone so long without crying. He had gone so long trying to numb the pain. But still, the thought of possibly someday seeing them again, alive and happy . . .
After a moment, James nodded in agreement, and gave a sad smile to Remus, "Yeah. They are."
"And it's not your fault," he added.
James didn't reply, but just shut the door, and continued down the corridor. He couldn't cry.
Not in front of Remus.
Not in front of anyone.
"What do you think, James?"
James's train of thought was broken, and he darted his eyes to Lily as she held up two long dresses. One of them was periwinkle blue, and the other darker blue.
"The dark or the light?" she asked, as Elise stepped out of the dressing room.
"I like the light," Lily continued, "But I want your opinion. Which one do you want?" James blinked, "I really don't care."
Lily's face fell, and her eye began to twitch again. He hated it when she did that.
"You don't care?"
"Well, it's up to you," he said, "I mean, I thought we agreed that you take care of the girls and I'll take care of the guys."
"And I said that that wasn't very fair," Lily said, hanging the darker dress back on the rack, "I mean, how hard can it be to find four black robes?"
"I like the light one, Lily," Elise chimed in, coming closer, "It will go with a winter's theme, I think."
James gave out a deep breath, and scanned the store. They were at a dress shop in Hogsmeade. They had decided to take a trip up there for a Saturday to buy all of Lily's accessories for the wedding. It was fall now, and the leaves were dropping outside. He remembered when him and the three other marauders would roll around in those leaves during their earlier transformations. One time Wormtail had gotten lost in a pile and Padfoot had "accidentally" stepped on him.
God, life was easier back then, when their worst worry was how much homework they would have on a Friday night.
He remembered one time, when the leaves had fallen all around his house, his father had taken him out and taught him how to build a gigantic pile with them. He had been only seven, and it seemed like such an ingenious idea to rake them all together and then jump and land in the midst of them. Leaves getting caught in his hair, he had laughed so hard that day. His father had stuffed them down his back, and then messed them into his hair. He had been smiling that moment. Both of them together.
They had been out there, playing in the yard, until Sprite had announced dinner was ready. And his mother had to finally come out and drag them in to get them to stop. His father had answered to her tutting by throwing a large handful of leaves at her. James could still see her face, in shock and awe as she spit out a mouthful of them. Then she had laughed, and said that she would get revenge.
Such a simple memory.
And yet still painful.
That little boy had turned away from his father. That little boy hadn't been there for him when he had died.
Dad, if only you could see me now, he thought to himself, I understand what you meant. I wish you knew that.
"James?" Lily said, coming up from behind him. He looked back to see Elise checking out three beautiful bridesmaid dresses at the counter. The witch behind the register was commenting on how gorgeous they were.
"Are you feeling all right?" she asked, latching onto his arm, and following his gaze to the window.
"Yeah," he said, shaking himself awake, "Yeah. Didn't get much sleep last night. That's all."
"Something bothering you?" she said, as he turned to help Elise with the dresses.
"No, I'm fine," he eyed her as she thanked the witch, and he added, "Hey, Lily?"
"Yes, James?" she asked, half listening. She grabbed the three dresses and started for the door. Elise followed the couple to the outside sidewalk. Peter and Sirius were waiting for them, holding some chips and snacking while they patiently talked outside of the store.
"Finally," Sirius groaned as they opened the door, "Moony has been waiting at that store down the road, holding those robes for a good fifteen minutes. Let's get going."
The five of them, talking excitedly to each other made their way down the street to Monsieur Mallone's Formal Robes.
"Do you think that we're too young?" James asked as Sirius excitedly talked to Peter and Elise ahead of them.
"Well," Lily said, "We're not old, if that's what you're asking. But like you said, we love each other. Love has no rules."
"Yeah," James said, "Yeah, that's right."
"So just lighten up," she said, and rested her head on his shoulder, "This is your wedding, too."
"I know," James said, and then mussed his hair again.
"You're going to go bald, doing that all the time," Lily remarked.
James gave out a tired sigh, and then shouted, "Hey! Sirius! Lily wanted to put you in a frilly pink robe!"
"No chance with that one, mate," Sirius laughed as Elise smiled at him, "I had enough of frilly and pink with that bloody room at your house."
The group burst into laughter. They all had heard the story of Wendy's room at least once from Sirius, who told it like a battle story. His scar was his dislike for any sort of frills at all.
But James didn't laugh. No one seemed to notice that the reference had made him go very stiff. Lily glanced up at him, and furrowed her brow.
"Are you sure you're all right?" she asked again.
"I'm fine," James said, and broke away from her to follow Peter and Elise into the store. He despised Elise, and ignored her as she tried to say something to him.
Remus was waiting inside, patiently waiting for them to come collect their robes to try on. Sirius laughed at his calm and tranquil expression as he opened the door to walk in.
"Wait, Sirius," Lily said, taking a hold of his arm, "I'd like to talk to you for a moment."
Sirius looked at her, in a state of shock, and then slowly shut the door, "What?"
"Well, you know James better than I do," she said, and then laughed, "That's a funny thought, really."
"What's wrong?" he asked, and Lily shrugged.
"He's been different lately," she said, "The smallest things make him go into this dreamy look. Have you noticed anything out of the ordinary with him?"
Sirius thought for a moment, and then said, "Well, when I came over to your new house last week, he seemed quiet. I mean, James isn't the quiet type. I don't know, Lily. James is James. He's been through a lot. He's still going through a lot."
"Has he said anything to you about second thoughts?" she interrogated him.
He shrugged, "Not really. I mean, he's still talking about you as usual. You're perfect in every way. The girl of his dreams. Same speech he's been giving me for years."
"So you don't think that he's regretting it?" Lily asked, "I mean, he seems sort of . . . detached from me. We were just leaving the store, and he was staring out the window at nothing at all. He practically jumped when I talked to him."
Sirius looked through the windowpane at James, who was quietly nodding in agreement with something that Remus had said. Moony and Wormtail had their robes on now, the tailor's magical tools measuring the hems as they stood on stools.
James wasn't looking at Remus, though. He was staring into space, thinking about something that none of them could see.
"Remus said something about him and his parents," Sirius piped up, after a moment, "When they were leaving Moody's, James asked him about June or something. He told me because James was acting sort of odd when he said it."
"He hasn't been sleeping," Lily sighed, "He just sits there and stares out the window. He doesn't say a word."
Sirius had a mental image of the night the Potters had been found. The rain pounding on London, and the silhouette of James sitting on the bed, staring out at it. He had been so still for such a long time.
"He's probably fine," Sirius said, "If I know James, he'll bounce right back."
Lily nodded, biting her lip, "I hate it when he gets like this," she said, "He did it when his sister died, and then when his parents . . ." she trailed off, and then squeezed Sirius's arm, "Moody was right. He is lucky to have you. I hope you know that."
And then, without another word, she walked into the store, plastering a smile onto her face and joining the rest of the crowd. Sirius stared after her, and then to James.
Then, with a small smile, he followed Lily to try on his robes.
The new house smelled with that scent that only resides in the walls for about two months, before the new occupants make their own smells to replace them. The boxes that had carried all of Lily's things from her house, and the possessions that James had taken from his old home stood like soldiers in the corridor. They had been empty for weeks, but James hadn't had the energy to get rid of them. So there they sat; almost tripping anyone whom dared to walk down the hall. It had been a hard day, shopping for ten hours straight. At least all of the dresses and robes were chosen, and they finally had a wedding dress. It was white, with a beautiful neck that crawled under Lily's chin. Lace for the hem, with flowing sleeves that looked like angels. Lily looked like an angel when she was trying it on.
Angels.
He wondered if they were angels.
"Do you want to talk about it?" Lily asked, rolling over in her bed. James was again sitting on the windowsill, staring out at the stars. He had been sitting there all night.
"No, I'm fine," he said.
"You keep saying that, but you're not," she said, sitting up, "You need to tell me, James. I hate seeing you like this."
"I said I'm fine," he repeated.
"You can keep saying that, but it's not going to bring them back," she argued, "I know you miss them, James. And you should. I would be more worried if you didn't."
James didn't say anything. Lily groaned, and stood up. Stretching, she walked to him, and placed her hands on his shoulders.
"I wish you could have met them," he suddenly said, and Lily smiled sadly.
"I do, too," she said, "They sound like great people."
"I showed them a picture of you once," James said, not looking away from the window, "My mum said how beautiful you were. She said you looked like a blossoming flower."
"She seemed like a nice woman," Lily commented.
"She was," James said, "The first time that Sirius was to come live with us, she bought him all of these presents for Christmas. I asked her about it later, and she said that she thought that if I was his friend, and if we all showed him what true love was . . . and what a family was . . . he might not turn out to be like them. She said that I was helping him. She wanted to help him, too. She loved him like a son."
"Well, she was right, James," Lily said, sitting down behind him, her hands massaging his tense shoulders, "You did save him. And you should feel good about that. You . . ."
"When Remus said that . . . that thing about June? I thought for one split second that maybe there was a way to bring them back," James continued, "And for that one second, that one moment in my life, I was happy again. God, I know it was stupid, because I knew perfectly well that there was no possible way that June was there with him. But I thought that maybe . . ." he shook his head, "I just wished that they could see me now."
"But they can," Lily said, placing her hand under his chin and turning his face to look into hers, "They're watching you right now, and they're very proud of you. And they wouldn't want you to be unhappy."
James forced a smile onto his face, and then leaned back in Lily's lap, "Yeah, I know."
"You are a very brave man, James," Lily said, running her fingers through his hair, "And you deserve to be scared. I'm scared, too."
"I never want to leave my children like they left me," James said.
"Who says we're going to have children?" Lily laughed, and James's smile widened.
"Well, I always thought that we would," he said, "A boy."
"A boy, huh?" Lily said, taking his hand. It felt so good to see him smile again, "Why not a girl?"
"Well, a girl would be fine," James shrugged, "Whichever one."
"Isabella Potter," Lily said, "I named all of my dolls Isabella when I was younger. I've always wanted a daughter called that."
"I will not have my offspring named Isabella," James argued, looking up into her face, "Never."
"Oh, and what would you call her?"
"I don't know," James thought, "How about just Lily?"
"Original," Lily smirked, "That would be a fun experience in the mornings, wouldn't it?"
They shared a laugh, and then looked back out to the starlight. It was so beautiful. Just like the night that they had kissed on top of the Astronomy Tower, and the proposal . . .
"What if it was a boy?" Lily asked, breaking his thought.
"I've thought about that," James said, "And I came up with a name."
"What?" she asked.
"Eugene," James smiled mischievously, nodding his head, "Yes, Eugene Potter."
"Eugene?" Lily laughed, "Sounds like someone that you would have hexed."
They laughed again, and then James said solemnly, "No, I really have been thinking about it."
Lily placed her hands on his chest, and leaned against the wall, "And what did you come up with?"
"There was a man that I knew once," James said, his eyes drifting into the dazed look again, "He was the bravest person that I have ever known. He died for his family, and for what was right. I never got to tell him that. But ever since that night at Dolohov's I think I do."
"And what was that man's name?" Lily asked, following his gaze.
James smiled to himself, "Harry. Harry Potter."
Their rooms looked deserted that next Saturday morning. All of the items that they had acquired the past two months were now packed away, and ready to be shipped off for their new houses. Moody was helping them lag their things downstairs and out of the second floor corridor. He grumbled the entire time about too many physical possessions, and how none of them had their priorities in the right order or some other rant such as that. Marlene and Sturgis had shown to help them out in their packing, and Marlene was speaking jovially with Lily about her engagement and wedding.
"Oh, it's going to be so lovely," Marlene said, "I remember me brother's wedding. The most beautiful sight I've ever seen was his bride, walking down the aisle in her long dress. And you're going to be just as beautiful."
Lily beamed as she dragged her trunk down the stairs.
"Are we all ready to go?" James shouted from the bottom of the staircase, "The cars are going to be here any minute!"
"Remus is still upstairs," Peter offered as he ran past Lily and Marlene.
"What's keeping him," Sirius said, "We need to go."
James mussed his hair, and then peered into the second floor corridor, a look of confusion on his face.
"Prongs?" Sirius asked, coming to his side. James shook his head, and then started up the staircase.
"I'll be back in a minute," he said, and then flew out of sight.
"That's bollocks," Sirius sighed, and dragged his trunk to the front door.
James thought that something must have been wrong. Remus would have never been late. Only if something was preoccupying him.
And sure enough, he found his old friend sitting on his bed, staring out the window to the house next door. In his hands was the bent and twisted metal that had once been a music box.
"Hey, Moony," he said, knocking on the door, "We're ready to head out, if you're all packed."
Remus turned around and embarrassingly stuffed the object into his pack, "Yeah, I'm ready. Let's go."
His face was solemn again, not letting anyone know what he was thinking. His lips were pursed as he zipped the pack carefully and in control, and then stood to face James. He forced a weak smile onto his face, and then said, "I know it's sort of childish. Keeping it. But somehow it helps me."
James nodded, "Yeah, I know."
"It gives me a sort of hope," Remus added, his eyes drifting down to the floor, "I don't know why."
The two of them walked out of the doorway, and at the last minute, Remus turned to look at the vacant room, now empty of any inhabitants.
"Hey, Lupin?" James started, "Can I ask you a question?"
"Yeah," Remus said, "What is it?"
"When you woke up the morning after Voldemort took us," James said, "You said that you saw June in there with you."
Remus's eyes shifted.
"Did you?" James said, "Is there . . . did he come back?"
Suddenly Remus realized what James was truly asking, and he bit his lip.
"James . . ."
"No, did you see him?" he asked again, "Or was it just some . . . just some hallucination?"
"Sometimes I see him," Remus said seriously, "In my dreams. That's the only place that we can see them, Prongs. In our dreams."
James's face fell, and his gaze went back to the vacant room as well, "I don't believe that."
"You have to," he said, putting his free hand on his friend's shoulder, "They're dead, James."
It sounded so odd now. They're dead, James. He had said it himself, that his parents were dead. He had gone so long without crying. He had gone so long trying to numb the pain. But still, the thought of possibly someday seeing them again, alive and happy . . .
After a moment, James nodded in agreement, and gave a sad smile to Remus, "Yeah. They are."
"And it's not your fault," he added.
James didn't reply, but just shut the door, and continued down the corridor. He couldn't cry.
Not in front of Remus.
Not in front of anyone.
"What do you think, James?"
James's train of thought was broken, and he darted his eyes to Lily as she held up two long dresses. One of them was periwinkle blue, and the other darker blue.
"The dark or the light?" she asked, as Elise stepped out of the dressing room.
"I like the light," Lily continued, "But I want your opinion. Which one do you want?" James blinked, "I really don't care."
Lily's face fell, and her eye began to twitch again. He hated it when she did that.
"You don't care?"
"Well, it's up to you," he said, "I mean, I thought we agreed that you take care of the girls and I'll take care of the guys."
"And I said that that wasn't very fair," Lily said, hanging the darker dress back on the rack, "I mean, how hard can it be to find four black robes?"
"I like the light one, Lily," Elise chimed in, coming closer, "It will go with a winter's theme, I think."
James gave out a deep breath, and scanned the store. They were at a dress shop in Hogsmeade. They had decided to take a trip up there for a Saturday to buy all of Lily's accessories for the wedding. It was fall now, and the leaves were dropping outside. He remembered when him and the three other marauders would roll around in those leaves during their earlier transformations. One time Wormtail had gotten lost in a pile and Padfoot had "accidentally" stepped on him.
God, life was easier back then, when their worst worry was how much homework they would have on a Friday night.
He remembered one time, when the leaves had fallen all around his house, his father had taken him out and taught him how to build a gigantic pile with them. He had been only seven, and it seemed like such an ingenious idea to rake them all together and then jump and land in the midst of them. Leaves getting caught in his hair, he had laughed so hard that day. His father had stuffed them down his back, and then messed them into his hair. He had been smiling that moment. Both of them together.
They had been out there, playing in the yard, until Sprite had announced dinner was ready. And his mother had to finally come out and drag them in to get them to stop. His father had answered to her tutting by throwing a large handful of leaves at her. James could still see her face, in shock and awe as she spit out a mouthful of them. Then she had laughed, and said that she would get revenge.
Such a simple memory.
And yet still painful.
That little boy had turned away from his father. That little boy hadn't been there for him when he had died.
Dad, if only you could see me now, he thought to himself, I understand what you meant. I wish you knew that.
"James?" Lily said, coming up from behind him. He looked back to see Elise checking out three beautiful bridesmaid dresses at the counter. The witch behind the register was commenting on how gorgeous they were.
"Are you feeling all right?" she asked, latching onto his arm, and following his gaze to the window.
"Yeah," he said, shaking himself awake, "Yeah. Didn't get much sleep last night. That's all."
"Something bothering you?" she said, as he turned to help Elise with the dresses.
"No, I'm fine," he eyed her as she thanked the witch, and he added, "Hey, Lily?"
"Yes, James?" she asked, half listening. She grabbed the three dresses and started for the door. Elise followed the couple to the outside sidewalk. Peter and Sirius were waiting for them, holding some chips and snacking while they patiently talked outside of the store.
"Finally," Sirius groaned as they opened the door, "Moony has been waiting at that store down the road, holding those robes for a good fifteen minutes. Let's get going."
The five of them, talking excitedly to each other made their way down the street to Monsieur Mallone's Formal Robes.
"Do you think that we're too young?" James asked as Sirius excitedly talked to Peter and Elise ahead of them.
"Well," Lily said, "We're not old, if that's what you're asking. But like you said, we love each other. Love has no rules."
"Yeah," James said, "Yeah, that's right."
"So just lighten up," she said, and rested her head on his shoulder, "This is your wedding, too."
"I know," James said, and then mussed his hair again.
"You're going to go bald, doing that all the time," Lily remarked.
James gave out a tired sigh, and then shouted, "Hey! Sirius! Lily wanted to put you in a frilly pink robe!"
"No chance with that one, mate," Sirius laughed as Elise smiled at him, "I had enough of frilly and pink with that bloody room at your house."
The group burst into laughter. They all had heard the story of Wendy's room at least once from Sirius, who told it like a battle story. His scar was his dislike for any sort of frills at all.
But James didn't laugh. No one seemed to notice that the reference had made him go very stiff. Lily glanced up at him, and furrowed her brow.
"Are you sure you're all right?" she asked again.
"I'm fine," James said, and broke away from her to follow Peter and Elise into the store. He despised Elise, and ignored her as she tried to say something to him.
Remus was waiting inside, patiently waiting for them to come collect their robes to try on. Sirius laughed at his calm and tranquil expression as he opened the door to walk in.
"Wait, Sirius," Lily said, taking a hold of his arm, "I'd like to talk to you for a moment."
Sirius looked at her, in a state of shock, and then slowly shut the door, "What?"
"Well, you know James better than I do," she said, and then laughed, "That's a funny thought, really."
"What's wrong?" he asked, and Lily shrugged.
"He's been different lately," she said, "The smallest things make him go into this dreamy look. Have you noticed anything out of the ordinary with him?"
Sirius thought for a moment, and then said, "Well, when I came over to your new house last week, he seemed quiet. I mean, James isn't the quiet type. I don't know, Lily. James is James. He's been through a lot. He's still going through a lot."
"Has he said anything to you about second thoughts?" she interrogated him.
He shrugged, "Not really. I mean, he's still talking about you as usual. You're perfect in every way. The girl of his dreams. Same speech he's been giving me for years."
"So you don't think that he's regretting it?" Lily asked, "I mean, he seems sort of . . . detached from me. We were just leaving the store, and he was staring out the window at nothing at all. He practically jumped when I talked to him."
Sirius looked through the windowpane at James, who was quietly nodding in agreement with something that Remus had said. Moony and Wormtail had their robes on now, the tailor's magical tools measuring the hems as they stood on stools.
James wasn't looking at Remus, though. He was staring into space, thinking about something that none of them could see.
"Remus said something about him and his parents," Sirius piped up, after a moment, "When they were leaving Moody's, James asked him about June or something. He told me because James was acting sort of odd when he said it."
"He hasn't been sleeping," Lily sighed, "He just sits there and stares out the window. He doesn't say a word."
Sirius had a mental image of the night the Potters had been found. The rain pounding on London, and the silhouette of James sitting on the bed, staring out at it. He had been so still for such a long time.
"He's probably fine," Sirius said, "If I know James, he'll bounce right back."
Lily nodded, biting her lip, "I hate it when he gets like this," she said, "He did it when his sister died, and then when his parents . . ." she trailed off, and then squeezed Sirius's arm, "Moody was right. He is lucky to have you. I hope you know that."
And then, without another word, she walked into the store, plastering a smile onto her face and joining the rest of the crowd. Sirius stared after her, and then to James.
Then, with a small smile, he followed Lily to try on his robes.
The new house smelled with that scent that only resides in the walls for about two months, before the new occupants make their own smells to replace them. The boxes that had carried all of Lily's things from her house, and the possessions that James had taken from his old home stood like soldiers in the corridor. They had been empty for weeks, but James hadn't had the energy to get rid of them. So there they sat; almost tripping anyone whom dared to walk down the hall. It had been a hard day, shopping for ten hours straight. At least all of the dresses and robes were chosen, and they finally had a wedding dress. It was white, with a beautiful neck that crawled under Lily's chin. Lace for the hem, with flowing sleeves that looked like angels. Lily looked like an angel when she was trying it on.
Angels.
He wondered if they were angels.
"Do you want to talk about it?" Lily asked, rolling over in her bed. James was again sitting on the windowsill, staring out at the stars. He had been sitting there all night.
"No, I'm fine," he said.
"You keep saying that, but you're not," she said, sitting up, "You need to tell me, James. I hate seeing you like this."
"I said I'm fine," he repeated.
"You can keep saying that, but it's not going to bring them back," she argued, "I know you miss them, James. And you should. I would be more worried if you didn't."
James didn't say anything. Lily groaned, and stood up. Stretching, she walked to him, and placed her hands on his shoulders.
"I wish you could have met them," he suddenly said, and Lily smiled sadly.
"I do, too," she said, "They sound like great people."
"I showed them a picture of you once," James said, not looking away from the window, "My mum said how beautiful you were. She said you looked like a blossoming flower."
"She seemed like a nice woman," Lily commented.
"She was," James said, "The first time that Sirius was to come live with us, she bought him all of these presents for Christmas. I asked her about it later, and she said that she thought that if I was his friend, and if we all showed him what true love was . . . and what a family was . . . he might not turn out to be like them. She said that I was helping him. She wanted to help him, too. She loved him like a son."
"Well, she was right, James," Lily said, sitting down behind him, her hands massaging his tense shoulders, "You did save him. And you should feel good about that. You . . ."
"When Remus said that . . . that thing about June? I thought for one split second that maybe there was a way to bring them back," James continued, "And for that one second, that one moment in my life, I was happy again. God, I know it was stupid, because I knew perfectly well that there was no possible way that June was there with him. But I thought that maybe . . ." he shook his head, "I just wished that they could see me now."
"But they can," Lily said, placing her hand under his chin and turning his face to look into hers, "They're watching you right now, and they're very proud of you. And they wouldn't want you to be unhappy."
James forced a smile onto his face, and then leaned back in Lily's lap, "Yeah, I know."
"You are a very brave man, James," Lily said, running her fingers through his hair, "And you deserve to be scared. I'm scared, too."
"I never want to leave my children like they left me," James said.
"Who says we're going to have children?" Lily laughed, and James's smile widened.
"Well, I always thought that we would," he said, "A boy."
"A boy, huh?" Lily said, taking his hand. It felt so good to see him smile again, "Why not a girl?"
"Well, a girl would be fine," James shrugged, "Whichever one."
"Isabella Potter," Lily said, "I named all of my dolls Isabella when I was younger. I've always wanted a daughter called that."
"I will not have my offspring named Isabella," James argued, looking up into her face, "Never."
"Oh, and what would you call her?"
"I don't know," James thought, "How about just Lily?"
"Original," Lily smirked, "That would be a fun experience in the mornings, wouldn't it?"
They shared a laugh, and then looked back out to the starlight. It was so beautiful. Just like the night that they had kissed on top of the Astronomy Tower, and the proposal . . .
"What if it was a boy?" Lily asked, breaking his thought.
"I've thought about that," James said, "And I came up with a name."
"What?" she asked.
"Eugene," James smiled mischievously, nodding his head, "Yes, Eugene Potter."
"Eugene?" Lily laughed, "Sounds like someone that you would have hexed."
They laughed again, and then James said solemnly, "No, I really have been thinking about it."
Lily placed her hands on his chest, and leaned against the wall, "And what did you come up with?"
"There was a man that I knew once," James said, his eyes drifting into the dazed look again, "He was the bravest person that I have ever known. He died for his family, and for what was right. I never got to tell him that. But ever since that night at Dolohov's I think I do."
"And what was that man's name?" Lily asked, following his gaze.
James smiled to himself, "Harry. Harry Potter."