After the discussion with Dally, Ponyboy left for school. As he was walking he ran into Johnny and they walked to school together. Pony told Johnny Dally's horrifying tale of Mike's attack and Johnny seemed rather disturbed, "I hope she doesn't come near us at school," he said.

"Yeah, so do I Johnny, so do I." Ponyboy shuddered.

Just then Dally and Tim Shepard (sorry about the spelling inconsistencies with Tim's last name, I'm too lazy to go downstairs to get the book and check how it's spelled) came running out from behind a barn. "Hey guys," said Dally, his hand in Tim's back pocket.

"Umm…Dally…" began Ponyboy, "Why is your hand in Tim's back pocket?"

"Jealous?" asked Tim.

"No…" Ponyboy thought for a moment and then, looking bewildered, said, "I'm in love with…Johnny?'

Dally pulled his hand out of Tim's pocket and said, "No, I'm in love with Johnny!"

Tim said, "But, Dally! I thought you loved me!"

Johnny said, "Sorry Pone, I'm in love with Dally…or am I?"

Just then Sodapop and Steve walked over and started making out on the hood of some random car. Then Two-Bit and Darry walked over, "Oh, Two-Bit," said Darry, "You're the first person to see through my hard, cold exterior and love me for the person I am on the inside!"

Two-Bit and Darry started making out as well, in a manly way.

All of a sudden Dally jumped back from the three way he was engaged in with Johnny and Tim and said, "Wait?! What are we doing? This is just absurd!"

"Why?" asked Soda.

"Because, what are the odds that everyone in our gang just happens to be gay and in love with another member of the gang?"

"Not very good," admitted Steve.

"Exactly. So, let's just go our separate ways and pretend none of this ever happened."

The greaser all walked off in separate directions, except for Johnny and Ponyboy who had to go to school.

* * *

Later, at school, in the cafeteria, Ponyboy noticed Mike standing around with another girl. "Oh God! Hide, Johnny, hide!" he yelled, jumping under the table and pulling Johnny with him.

"What is it?" asked Johnny.

"It's Mike and she's with a friend."

Johnny peered over the table, "Her friend's a soc?"

"I guess…wow, she has the shiniest hair in the world!"

"Shut up! She'll get you with her hair and next thing you know, you'll be in love!"

"Ok, ok. Jeez…"

"Oh no! I think she sees us. She's walking over here!"

Sure enough, Mike was making a beeline for their table, "Hey guys," she said when she reached them, "How's it going?"

"Fine," said Johnny guardedly, climbing out from under the table.

"Good, hey look, I brought my friend."

"What your name?" Pony asked the girl with the absurdly shiny, black—or should I say 'raven colored'—hair.

"My name's Kaiytieralyn Lotsofcash," she answered dreamily.

"I see."

Just then Dally walked up and began staring murderously at the girls.

"What are you doing here, Dally?" asked Johnny, looking at Dally with a loving expression in his eyes, for some reason.

"I came to rescue you."

"Oh," Kaiytieralyn whispered, "Dally, I'm your long lost sister."

"That's absurd," he answered.

"No it isn't, I'm your twin and I was adopted by some socs but they were too phony so I came looking for my real family here in Tulsa."

"That's fantastic," said Dally, obviously thinking just the opposite, "But I'm afraid you won't like my parents very much either…not that I care, I mean, you can live with them all you want just don't start acting like I'm your brother all of a sudden."

"But you are my brother."

"Doesn't mean I have to love you…or even feel any emotions toward you, for that matter."

"Oh!" she ran off, sobbing.

"Now look what you've done!" said Mike, chasing after Kaiytieralyn.