Pain
By: J.E.A.R.K.Potter (Erin)
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: Me, The great J.K. Rowling. That is my greatest dream, but
unfortunately only a dream.
Pain, the word so fine, so utterly seducing, or at least it was to me. I guess it started when I was young that is when the first urges started to appear. I thought nothing of it, just a silly thing, after wasn't it natural to strike out when one was mad.
Though there was nothing natural about it at all. When I was sixteen I started to notice that I got these callings for no apparent reason. I wanted to lash out striking with all that I had to hurt. But the worse thing is that I wanted pain upon myself. I resorted to gnawing and scratching myself.
I knew something was wrong with me even then. My friends they could never know. James, Sirius and Remus all so bold and courageous, not like me, would never understand. I lived the next two years of my life hiding it. It was not easy, not easy at all, but I did it. I made sure my friends never found out or at least until I was ready.
Then my master came to me offering me a position in his death eaters. I was scared how could I not be this was the most powerful wizard there was. But I was also interested thinking how much pain I could inflect on others, with crucio, to see them shriek and wither in pain. Almost as promising as hurting others was to be punished for my failures.
The deal was the best thing to happen to me.
Everything was going fine for me. I got to be with my best friends and at the same time concurring my hidden desire. And then it happened; Lily and James made me their secret keeper. Oh how glorious I felt imagining how painful it would be to die. Of course I knew it was wrong but I would do it over again in a heartbeat. My only regret is that I didn't murder them myself.
But maybe it was good that I didn't. I mean we all know what happen when little Harry met my lord. Though still the wonder of committing death is so appealing to me. Even though I loved the though I wished no death upon myself. I might seek pain but not the mortal danger kind.
You can me a coward but I am not crazy. I knew that Sirius would come for me, but he was the only one that knew that I was the secret keeper. Only he would know of my betrayal. And find me he did. But I, never that bright in the knowledge from books, outsmarted him. I framed him for all to hear. I blasted the street killing some of those awful creatures that some refer to as muggles.
I escaped as happy as could be. Though that did not last very long. My fear set in, taking a hold of me in its tight grasp. Where could I go? No friends to turn to, and with no hopes of being taking in I mean after all I was supposed to be dead. I guessed I could live with the other rats.
But chance seemed to be on my side that day. A red haired family called the Weasleys found me. I didn't care about them but they were a pureblood family. So with them I waited.
What do you think? I don't care if you flame or not I just want the truth. There will probably be one more chapter.
By: J.E.A.R.K.Potter (Erin)
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: Me, The great J.K. Rowling. That is my greatest dream, but
unfortunately only a dream.
Pain, the word so fine, so utterly seducing, or at least it was to me. I guess it started when I was young that is when the first urges started to appear. I thought nothing of it, just a silly thing, after wasn't it natural to strike out when one was mad.
Though there was nothing natural about it at all. When I was sixteen I started to notice that I got these callings for no apparent reason. I wanted to lash out striking with all that I had to hurt. But the worse thing is that I wanted pain upon myself. I resorted to gnawing and scratching myself.
I knew something was wrong with me even then. My friends they could never know. James, Sirius and Remus all so bold and courageous, not like me, would never understand. I lived the next two years of my life hiding it. It was not easy, not easy at all, but I did it. I made sure my friends never found out or at least until I was ready.
Then my master came to me offering me a position in his death eaters. I was scared how could I not be this was the most powerful wizard there was. But I was also interested thinking how much pain I could inflect on others, with crucio, to see them shriek and wither in pain. Almost as promising as hurting others was to be punished for my failures.
The deal was the best thing to happen to me.
Everything was going fine for me. I got to be with my best friends and at the same time concurring my hidden desire. And then it happened; Lily and James made me their secret keeper. Oh how glorious I felt imagining how painful it would be to die. Of course I knew it was wrong but I would do it over again in a heartbeat. My only regret is that I didn't murder them myself.
But maybe it was good that I didn't. I mean we all know what happen when little Harry met my lord. Though still the wonder of committing death is so appealing to me. Even though I loved the though I wished no death upon myself. I might seek pain but not the mortal danger kind.
You can me a coward but I am not crazy. I knew that Sirius would come for me, but he was the only one that knew that I was the secret keeper. Only he would know of my betrayal. And find me he did. But I, never that bright in the knowledge from books, outsmarted him. I framed him for all to hear. I blasted the street killing some of those awful creatures that some refer to as muggles.
I escaped as happy as could be. Though that did not last very long. My fear set in, taking a hold of me in its tight grasp. Where could I go? No friends to turn to, and with no hopes of being taking in I mean after all I was supposed to be dead. I guessed I could live with the other rats.
But chance seemed to be on my side that day. A red haired family called the Weasleys found me. I didn't care about them but they were a pureblood family. So with them I waited.
What do you think? I don't care if you flame or not I just want the truth. There will probably be one more chapter.