(Note from the author: These are not my characters, my world, or my
situations. They all belong to J. K. Rowling, and are protected by
copyrights.)
(Thank you: Thanks to Jewels White, Aaron (Nox), and r_pfaith for helping me figure out certain aspects of this scene, including primarily what to do with Elise.)
(Note from the author: Tah-dah! The moment we've all been waiting for . . .)
It was one of those moments in which the world seemed to continue, but one feels as if he is not included. The sun continues to crawl across the sky, and the snow on the ground continues to swirl. The cars drive by, and the stoplights still flash. People still walk down the street, unaware of what is going on other than what is happening to them. Muggles, wizards alike, all mingling in a world that was slowly falling apart.
This was the scene that James was watching through the small dust- ridden window in his dressing room. He couldn't hear the shouting and excited voices of his four friends, shouting about the last Quidditch game behind him. He couldn't feel the scratchy robe on his body. He was engrossed in this scene in front of him. If he squinted his eyes, he could drone out the windowpane, and pretend that he too was out there, going on with life like a normal eighteen year old boy.
He was supposed to be playing Quidditch now.
Now he was getting married.
What was he thinking when he proposed? Had he died yet? No. Were they all still alive? Yes.
Had he overreacted? Oh, yes.
"Sirius," he said quietly, not moving his eyes from the street outside the church.
"And then Black comes down for the Snitch," Davey shouted as he levitated one of the candelabras for Sirius to catch, "But it looks like Pettigrew's going to make it first!"
Sirius elbowed Peter in the face, and Peter went flying in a pile of their coats on the floor, as Sirius caught the candelabra in mid air, and gave out a cheer.
"And Black has got the Snitch!"
"Sirius," James said, a little louder, and Sirius dropped the candelabra on the floor with a crash.
"Yeah, Prongs?" Sirius said, stepping over Peter, who was still sprawled out on the floor. Remus sighed, picked up the candelabra, and set it back in its spot on the dresser. He was the only one that was fully dressed in his dress robes. Peter still hadn't changed, and Davey had just arrived in his Quidditch jersey. He was announcing for the Ballycastle Bats (which Sirius thought was very amusing), and had dropped by just after getting off work.
Sirius had half of his robe hooked in the front, and his biker boots still on. His chain dangled from his pants as he made his way through the mess on the floor. The church had given the girls the real dressing room and the boys the cloakroom. The cloakroom was not only the cloakroom, but it was also the "anything-that-we-don't-need-goes-in-here" room.
"What's the matter," Sirius said, catching his breath leaning against the windowpane. It was cold and the air felt good after being cooped up all day in the hot church, "You feeling okay? You look sort of peaky."
"I can't do this," James said quickly.
"Of course you can," Sirius said, his brow furrowing, "What are you talking about?"
"We're too young," James said, "We're too young to do this. We . . . do you know how old my parents were when they were married?"
"Old, I'm guessing," Sirius snorted.
"Twenty nine," James said, "They didn't marry until they were twenty nine."
"God," Sirius said, "How old were they when they . . ." James glared, "Sorry," he added quickly, "I shouldn't have said that."
"It's all right," James said. He had more important things on his mind at the moment.
"But come on," Sirius said, turning around to fold his arms on the sill, "You're James Potter. She's Lily Evans. You're supposed to get married. It's written out! It's like . . . Prince Charming and Snow White or Cinderella or some other stupid flitty princess," James shot him a look, "Not saying that Lily's a flitty princess," Sirius added, "But you know what I mean. Ever since I was eleven, all I've heard about her is how great she is! Prongs, I'm supposed to be the one with the doubts . . ."
"Sirius, you don't understand," James said, "What if I missed out on something? What if I was so transfixed on that one girl that I missed the one who was really the one? What if Lily's not the one?"
"Are you taking the Mickey?" Sirius barked, "You've been mad for her since you saw her, you two are so in love that it makes me sick . . . what do you mean that she's not the one?"
"I can't do this," James said, "I . . . I just can't."
Sirius sighed, and then pointed to the window, "You wanting to be out there? Away from this?"
James nodded.
"Why?"
"Well," James said, "My life hasn't exactly turned out the way that I thought it would. I thought I'd be this great Quidditch player, on the covers of all the magazines, with everyone I love around me, and a family. But not a family now! It's too early."
"But instead you've got the life you've got now," Sirius said, "You've got Lily. Do you know what I would give to have someone like Lily? Do you know how lucky you are?"
"Guys, we really need to get dressed," Remus said, separating Davey and Peter who were wrestling on the floor now, "We only have an half an hour."
"Look, James," Sirius said, turning away from him to look at Remus, "I'll be right by you, all right? My motorbike is parked on the side of the church, right outside of the exit. If at any time you feel like you seriously made a mistake, I'll hand you my keys and you can run for it, all right? I'll hold Lily off. Give you enough time to make your escape. Is it a deal?"
James laughed a nervous laugh, "Funny, very funny."
Sirius took his keys out of his pockets, and set them on the windowsill. He smiled mischievously as James looked at him in surprise, "Don't scratch the paint, Prongs," he added as he went to Remus.
"Moony! How do you button this thing?"
They were in a room off to the side. James could feel the motorbike keys jiggling in his cloak pocket. The judge was eyeing him from behind his small spectacles. James knew that his father would have been very disappointed if he had found out that he was having a wizarding wedding with a judge. He had always been expected to have a Catholic wedding. And Lily was Catholic . . . why hadn't they had a Catholic wedding? Why . . .
"Calm down," Sirius muttered. He looked very spiffing in his robes, and his hair cut. Lily had made him get it cut before the wedding. It was rather short now, and James had to laugh every time he saw it. His friend had gone from having shoulder length hair to the ridiculous ear length cut that Lily had forced him to purchase.
"I can't calm down," James said, "I'm signing my life away."
"Nothing you haven't done before," he muttered.
The din of the crowd outside in the large sanctuary filled James's ears. He couldn't do this! He was just a child! He was just James!
"Hey, remember that night," Sirius said, shifting his weight to his other foot, "When I was over at your house, and you were swearing that you were in love with Lily Evans? I thought you were crazy. But after seeing you two together this past year, I think you two can do anything you put your minds to."
James gave him a look, and then forced a wry smile onto his face, "Well, coming from the person who calls her Morgana, that means a lot."
"No problem," he grinned, and then gave him a pat on the back, "Now stop this stupid talk and get out there. Remember, the motorbike is still an option."
"And I thought you would be the broken one today," James laughed to himself, weakly looking at the door in front of them. Soon he would be walking through it, and then to Lily. And then to his honeymoon. And then to his house. And then to the hospital. And then to the store to pick up diapers and milk. And then to the infant's store to buy a crib and clothing. And then to King's Cross to drop his children off for their first year of school. And then to their Graduation. And then to retirement. And then . . .
Of course, this was all if Voldemort didn't kill him first.
"Nah," Sirius said, "The Best Man's never broken up. Just really drunk."
James gave another laugh, and the judge glanced at Sirius in disgust.
"Come on," the judge said, opening the door, "It's time."
And James froze. He could still feel the keys in his robes. Just run across the platform and through the side door, and you can be free, James! Just run! Just run!
"Get going," Sirius said, pushing him forward, "Let's get you married, Prongs."
He couldn't even feel his legs as he followed the judge to the front of the altar. He folded his hands in front of him, and nervously looked out to the audience.
There were hundreds of them! Their friends from school, the Order members (scattered around and disguised, of course), all of the Evans family. In the front row, where his mother and father should have sat, there were two large bouquets of roses. The most beautiful roses that James had ever seen. A white daisy sat next to the bouquets, and James had to turn away to stop from crying. It was getting so hard these days. It seemed like he was always in danger of crying.
In the second row sat Frank and Alice, beaming at James. Alice seemed to have a handkerchief that she was dabbing at her eyes. Her bubbly persona had returned, and no one would have ever thought that she was an Auror that had killed men twice the size of her.
Next to them, sat Mad Eye Moody, his bowler tipped over his large eye. It was only these three that James could make out sitting together. Everyone else was scattered, mingling with Lily's family on the right pews, and others sitting with James's friends from Hogwarts.
He could see Dumbledore in the very back row, his eyes glistening as he smiled warmly at James. James felt his heart leap. He was here. It was all going to be all right.
The music struck its first chord, and his eyes snapped to the entrance of the church. The doors opened, and Davey, arm in arm with Sandra, stepped into sight. Davey was beaming with excitement, while Sandra (who was trying to look disgusted with the fact that she was walking with Davey Gudgeon but failing miserably) tried to keep in step with him. The periwinkle blue dresses did look very pretty on the bridesmaids. He could just imagine what the wedding dress would look like.
Behind Davey, came Peter and Bea (a very unlikely pair). Bea was dragging him along, looking very peeved. Peter looked like he was going to cry out in fear at any moment. He kept twitching as he glanced at his partner, nervously, and James knew that he was scared to death of Bea.
And finally, James had to smile. From behind the other two pairs, came Remus, arm in arm with Petunia Evans. He was very rigid, his messier brownish grayish hair falling into his face in twisted locks. Lily had always liked his hair, and didn't want him to do anything to it. Sirius had protested, but since when did Lily listen to Sirius?
Petunia looked very sour, especially with her partner. She did not want to be seen arm in arm with one of "his kind." Oh, how would she have reacted if she knew that he was a werewolf to boot?
Remus gave an encouraging smile to James, and winked. Then, the bridesmaids and men of honor took their spots behind the respected person. In a diagonal line behind Sirius the men went, and the women found their way behind the empty space where Elise would have stood.
They had decided to have her there in spirit, as a dedication to her life. It had been Lily's idea, and James agreed with it wholeheartedly. It was the right thing to do.
Everything was in place. His friends were with him. They were right behind him, as always. He had his boys here. They wouldn't let him do anything stupid . . .
Sirius cleared his throat, and then nodded to the church door. Everything had gone quiet, as everyone turned in their seats to look at the back of the sanctuary, trying to catch a look of the sight that stood there in the entranceway.
James's eyes drifted dreamily up to the door and then his heart stopped. It was the moment that he had dreamed about for years. It was that moment that he would remember for the rest of his life. It seemed as if everything had faded from his eyesight except for that one beautiful creature standing in the back.
This was life. This was living. This was his moment.
This was a dream.
She was beautiful in her wedding dress. The white veil covered her face, but he could still make out her emerald green eyes, sparkling magically from behind it. She was smiling brightly, and looking directly at James. A bouquet of flowers was held in her perfect and pale hands. The neck of her wedding dress went the length of her neck, sequined in gems and patterns. The flowing long sleeves of the arms that had made him think of angels' wings now rippled with every step that she took closer and closer to him. She was out of the doorway, and heading towards the front. Her father was arm in arm with her, and the ring bearer and flower girl in front. Her long train was hovering magically above the floor, keeping itself prim and neat. Her hair was down, and gleaming brightly with the candles that filled the church.
She was so beautiful.
And yet, James saw this beauty fade in front of his eyes.
As Lily passed the third row from the back, her angelic figure fattened. Her hair grew gray. Her hips widened, and her chin doubled. Her fine hands wrinkled, and her face from behind the veil sagged. She was old.
This is what she would turn out to be. The beauty would be gone. The perfect figure and the pale, smooth skin, and her red hair weren't forever. If he lived to be that old, and she lived to be that old . . . she would be old.
Could he still love her?
And from this shadow of the future, he saw the same emerald eyes sparkling still from beneath the veil. His heart lightened, and he smiled to himself.
Yes, he could.
It wasn't the beauty of her skin that he was in love with. It was the spirit that had saved him from Voldemort, from himself, from the world a countless number of times. It was the spirit of the girl that had defied the Dark Lord by sending up the sparks, by never giving up . . .
It was the girl that had told him off for bullying other students, for hexing her friends in the hallways . . .
For telling him that he wouldn't amount to anything.
It was that spirit that he was in love with.
He quickly dug into his pockets, and withdrew the motorbike keys. He put them behind his back, and handed them to Sirius.
"I won't be needing these," he muttered out of the corner of his mouth.
Lily could feel herself walking closer and closer to the altar, her father locking his arm with her. She could see James staring at her in that dreamy gaze that he got when he was in deep thought. What was he thinking?
He was so handsome in his robes, and his hair that he had tamed just for her for today. His hand hadn't twitched at all the entire morning to undo the style, and Lily was very proud of him.
His glowing hazel eyes beamed at her as she took another step closer. It was the moment that all little girls dreamed of, at nights when they were alone in their rooms. Their man in shining armor would appear before their eyes, and they would whisper the words, "I do" to the groom that never existed.
But now he did exist.
She remembered the first time that she had seen him. She had fallen in love with him. Not like he had to her, no. She was a lot less mature than that. But it seemed from the moment that she stepped into the boat, that something had changed in her life. Something had altered the life that she was supposed to have, and brought along a new one.
Those six years when she had yelled at him, pestered him, ignored him . . . those six years when she tried not to let herself fall for him, she had tried to blind herself from what she truly had wanted in her heart. She knew that James Potter was one of those sorts that always had a new girlfriend each term, and he left them without another thought. Well, yes, she had done the same thing, but she had been in control of those relationships. The boys had been fawning for her, not the other way around. She could get rid of them, not the other way around.
But James was different. He was arrogant. He was higher than her when it came to many things, and she knew that if she ever let herself fall for that boy, then she was just going to get her heart broken. He would throw her out like all of the other pretty girls that he had courted, and she would be left in a mess. She could just see herself in her dormitory, cursing herself for thinking that she could have changed James.
That she could have altered what he was going to do to her.
It wasn't until seventh year that finally she saw that he truly wanted to see her. When he had asked her, it wasn't as if he was higher than her. It was as if she was higher than him. She had felt special. She had felt different than all the other girls before her.
She had liked that feeling.
Had it only been over a year that they had gone on their first date?
She looked back at James, and her smile faded. The handsome stature of the eighteen-year-old boy had disappeared, and now the eleven-year-old jerk took his place, in front of his bodyguard, equally as young. Sirius and James smiled back at her, but they weren't the same. They were the arrogant little gits that they had been years ago. Sirius hadn't grown his stubble yet, and he held out his wand, shaking it at Lily.
"Hey Evans!" she could practically hear James shouting her name now.
Would she ever forgive him?
What would her eleven-year-old counterpart say if she had been sitting in the audience?
"You're marrying HIM?" she heard her tiny, pure voice sound from her mind, "You're marrying James Potter? That ego-trip on a broomstick? That ignorant . . ."
But she had seen James that night on the Astronomy Tower. She had seen him truthfully wanting to show her his world, and invite her into it. The light of the fireflies still filled her mind, and she knew that James had not been thinking about any other girl at that time. The only one that had ever mattered to him was her. And that's all that mattered to her.
It was meant to be. This was the moment in which she would give her life to him.
Her feet touched the stairs to the altar platform, and then she saw herself grow eye level with James. They exchanged one last smile, before the judge spoke.
"Who gives this bride in marriage?"
"Her mother and I do," Mr. Evans said, his eyes bright with tears residing there. They were dangerously close to falling down his face. Lily gave him one last hug.
"I love you, Daddy," she whispered, and he nodded.
"I know," he said, and then headed for his seat next to a bawling Mrs. Evans.
And then it was only Lily and James. It was only those two that mattered in the world once again. As they looked into each other's eyes, every doubt was forgotten. Every grudge was put aside. Everything was the way it should be.
"You may sit," the judge said, and the audience took their seats in a shuffle of papers and dresses, "Today, we are gathered together to witness this marriage of these two beautiful young people. James Potter, and Lily Evans. Does the ring bearer have the rings?"
The little boy came forward; the two bands set carefully on a blue pillow. The judge took them, and handed them to the bride and groom, "They have chosen to write their own vows. Lily, you may speak now."
Lily gave her bouquet to Petunia, who was standing behind her, and then took a balled up paper from her hand. She unfolded it, and then took a deep breath. She smiled nervously to James, and then opened her mouth to speak.
"When the world tells us that it is impossible," she read, "And when the world is falling from underneath us, and we have no where to turn, I feel the safest. For I know that you are there, and you won't let anything happen to me. When that same world tells us that this isn't meant to be, and that we aren't ready for a life of commitment and adulthood, I still feel the safest. Because I know that you will always be there with me, for you are committed to me, and I am committed to you. I swear to you, in this moment when all of the world is watching and filled with doubts, when the entire world is slowly dying, that I will never leave your side. I want to live my life with you, and I want to die with you. I vow to you to always be true, be faithful, and be not only a wife, but a friend and comforter. My heart is all I can give you; it is all that I own. Therefore I give you my all. I give you everything that I have," she said, placing the large ring on James's finger.
"And James, do you have something you would like to read for Lily," the judge asked, as Lily gave her slip of paper to Petunia, who was already trying to balance the bouquet.
James stared into Lily's eyes, and she waited for him to bring out his own paper. But he didn't. He took her hands in his, and biting his lip, took his turn to speak directly to her. He had the ring in his hand, and he was toying with it with his fingers.
"I don't have all of the answers to the world," he said, "I don't know everything about life and marriage and happiness. But I do know what love is. And I do know that when love is real, and when love is in its strongest form, it is the most powerful thing on this earth. It kills, saves lives, heals wounds, and most of all, brings hope. That is what you have done for me, Lily. You have brought me hope. When I look into your eyes, I know that no matter what may happen to me, as long as I can see those eyes staring back at me, then I'll be fine. Somehow I'll make it through. Somehow I'll find a way to survive for you. And that's what I want to feel for the rest of my time here on Earth, however short or long that may be. I want to wake up every morning and see your shining face staring back at me. But I also want to protect you. I want to protect you from anything that may hurt you. I want to be there when you cry to dry your tears. When you feel lonely, I want to give you a kiss. When you are scared, to embrace you. And," he took the ring, and slipped it onto her perfect finger, " . . . and when you are happy, to share a laugh with you. I don't know what's in store for us, but I do know that true love outlasts everything. It outlasts doubt, hate, war, misfortune, and most of all death. I vow to you to always be beside you. Not only in this life, but the next. Because that's when love becomes real. That's when love becomes unchained from anything in this life. I know that when I die, the first thing that I will see will be your eyes. That is how I will know that I made it to Heaven. Because you and I will still be together, forever."
There was a silence as Lily stared at him, in complete happiness. They exchanged a sad smile, and then they locked their hands together, holding on for dear life.
Sirius watched the two of them from behind James, and he felt his stomach drop. This was the real thing. This was the genuine article. They were truly in love. Something that he would never feel.
The vision of Elise came back, and he pushed it out his head.
He shifted uncomfortably as the judge turned to the couple. This was the moment that they had all been waiting for. The moment that Sirius had secretly been dreading in his heart.
But he saw their smiling faces. He had heard their words. And he too felt himself grinning truthfully for the first time in days.
"Do you, James Potter, take this woman, Lily Evans, to be your lawfully wedded wife?" he said.
"I do," James said solemnly, squeezing her hand. It was done. It was her turn now. And then the pact would be sealed. A pact that would be more important than any others that had followed.
"And do you, Lily Evans, take this man, James Potter, to be your lawfully wedded husband?"
Lily's smile brightened, "I do."
"Then with the power invested in me, I pronounce you man and wife," he turned to James, "You may kiss the bride."
James, with steady hands, took the end of the veil, and lifted it over Lily's head. Her face came in clear now, and it was the brightest that it had ever been. She was so happy.
Sirius watched as the two of them embraced, sharing a passionate kiss. That's when the world stopped. That's when the people outside continued on without those few on the stage. Not just for the bride and groom, but for the three boys standing behind the groom as well.
Prongs had died in that kiss. James was a man. James was a husband. He had a family.
"It is my honor to present to you, Mr. and Mrs. James Potter," the judge announced to the audience, and the church exploded with cries of joy and applause. Even Dumbledore could be seen wiping a tear from his eye, and Frank was beaming from his seat.
Mad Eye took his cloak and dabbed his face with it. James wanted to laugh, and he would have if he hadn't been overly ecstatic with what had just happened.
Lily Potter turned to her husband, and kissed him again.
And this time, James had no doubts.
(Thank you: Thanks to Jewels White, Aaron (Nox), and r_pfaith for helping me figure out certain aspects of this scene, including primarily what to do with Elise.)
(Note from the author: Tah-dah! The moment we've all been waiting for . . .)
It was one of those moments in which the world seemed to continue, but one feels as if he is not included. The sun continues to crawl across the sky, and the snow on the ground continues to swirl. The cars drive by, and the stoplights still flash. People still walk down the street, unaware of what is going on other than what is happening to them. Muggles, wizards alike, all mingling in a world that was slowly falling apart.
This was the scene that James was watching through the small dust- ridden window in his dressing room. He couldn't hear the shouting and excited voices of his four friends, shouting about the last Quidditch game behind him. He couldn't feel the scratchy robe on his body. He was engrossed in this scene in front of him. If he squinted his eyes, he could drone out the windowpane, and pretend that he too was out there, going on with life like a normal eighteen year old boy.
He was supposed to be playing Quidditch now.
Now he was getting married.
What was he thinking when he proposed? Had he died yet? No. Were they all still alive? Yes.
Had he overreacted? Oh, yes.
"Sirius," he said quietly, not moving his eyes from the street outside the church.
"And then Black comes down for the Snitch," Davey shouted as he levitated one of the candelabras for Sirius to catch, "But it looks like Pettigrew's going to make it first!"
Sirius elbowed Peter in the face, and Peter went flying in a pile of their coats on the floor, as Sirius caught the candelabra in mid air, and gave out a cheer.
"And Black has got the Snitch!"
"Sirius," James said, a little louder, and Sirius dropped the candelabra on the floor with a crash.
"Yeah, Prongs?" Sirius said, stepping over Peter, who was still sprawled out on the floor. Remus sighed, picked up the candelabra, and set it back in its spot on the dresser. He was the only one that was fully dressed in his dress robes. Peter still hadn't changed, and Davey had just arrived in his Quidditch jersey. He was announcing for the Ballycastle Bats (which Sirius thought was very amusing), and had dropped by just after getting off work.
Sirius had half of his robe hooked in the front, and his biker boots still on. His chain dangled from his pants as he made his way through the mess on the floor. The church had given the girls the real dressing room and the boys the cloakroom. The cloakroom was not only the cloakroom, but it was also the "anything-that-we-don't-need-goes-in-here" room.
"What's the matter," Sirius said, catching his breath leaning against the windowpane. It was cold and the air felt good after being cooped up all day in the hot church, "You feeling okay? You look sort of peaky."
"I can't do this," James said quickly.
"Of course you can," Sirius said, his brow furrowing, "What are you talking about?"
"We're too young," James said, "We're too young to do this. We . . . do you know how old my parents were when they were married?"
"Old, I'm guessing," Sirius snorted.
"Twenty nine," James said, "They didn't marry until they were twenty nine."
"God," Sirius said, "How old were they when they . . ." James glared, "Sorry," he added quickly, "I shouldn't have said that."
"It's all right," James said. He had more important things on his mind at the moment.
"But come on," Sirius said, turning around to fold his arms on the sill, "You're James Potter. She's Lily Evans. You're supposed to get married. It's written out! It's like . . . Prince Charming and Snow White or Cinderella or some other stupid flitty princess," James shot him a look, "Not saying that Lily's a flitty princess," Sirius added, "But you know what I mean. Ever since I was eleven, all I've heard about her is how great she is! Prongs, I'm supposed to be the one with the doubts . . ."
"Sirius, you don't understand," James said, "What if I missed out on something? What if I was so transfixed on that one girl that I missed the one who was really the one? What if Lily's not the one?"
"Are you taking the Mickey?" Sirius barked, "You've been mad for her since you saw her, you two are so in love that it makes me sick . . . what do you mean that she's not the one?"
"I can't do this," James said, "I . . . I just can't."
Sirius sighed, and then pointed to the window, "You wanting to be out there? Away from this?"
James nodded.
"Why?"
"Well," James said, "My life hasn't exactly turned out the way that I thought it would. I thought I'd be this great Quidditch player, on the covers of all the magazines, with everyone I love around me, and a family. But not a family now! It's too early."
"But instead you've got the life you've got now," Sirius said, "You've got Lily. Do you know what I would give to have someone like Lily? Do you know how lucky you are?"
"Guys, we really need to get dressed," Remus said, separating Davey and Peter who were wrestling on the floor now, "We only have an half an hour."
"Look, James," Sirius said, turning away from him to look at Remus, "I'll be right by you, all right? My motorbike is parked on the side of the church, right outside of the exit. If at any time you feel like you seriously made a mistake, I'll hand you my keys and you can run for it, all right? I'll hold Lily off. Give you enough time to make your escape. Is it a deal?"
James laughed a nervous laugh, "Funny, very funny."
Sirius took his keys out of his pockets, and set them on the windowsill. He smiled mischievously as James looked at him in surprise, "Don't scratch the paint, Prongs," he added as he went to Remus.
"Moony! How do you button this thing?"
They were in a room off to the side. James could feel the motorbike keys jiggling in his cloak pocket. The judge was eyeing him from behind his small spectacles. James knew that his father would have been very disappointed if he had found out that he was having a wizarding wedding with a judge. He had always been expected to have a Catholic wedding. And Lily was Catholic . . . why hadn't they had a Catholic wedding? Why . . .
"Calm down," Sirius muttered. He looked very spiffing in his robes, and his hair cut. Lily had made him get it cut before the wedding. It was rather short now, and James had to laugh every time he saw it. His friend had gone from having shoulder length hair to the ridiculous ear length cut that Lily had forced him to purchase.
"I can't calm down," James said, "I'm signing my life away."
"Nothing you haven't done before," he muttered.
The din of the crowd outside in the large sanctuary filled James's ears. He couldn't do this! He was just a child! He was just James!
"Hey, remember that night," Sirius said, shifting his weight to his other foot, "When I was over at your house, and you were swearing that you were in love with Lily Evans? I thought you were crazy. But after seeing you two together this past year, I think you two can do anything you put your minds to."
James gave him a look, and then forced a wry smile onto his face, "Well, coming from the person who calls her Morgana, that means a lot."
"No problem," he grinned, and then gave him a pat on the back, "Now stop this stupid talk and get out there. Remember, the motorbike is still an option."
"And I thought you would be the broken one today," James laughed to himself, weakly looking at the door in front of them. Soon he would be walking through it, and then to Lily. And then to his honeymoon. And then to his house. And then to the hospital. And then to the store to pick up diapers and milk. And then to the infant's store to buy a crib and clothing. And then to King's Cross to drop his children off for their first year of school. And then to their Graduation. And then to retirement. And then . . .
Of course, this was all if Voldemort didn't kill him first.
"Nah," Sirius said, "The Best Man's never broken up. Just really drunk."
James gave another laugh, and the judge glanced at Sirius in disgust.
"Come on," the judge said, opening the door, "It's time."
And James froze. He could still feel the keys in his robes. Just run across the platform and through the side door, and you can be free, James! Just run! Just run!
"Get going," Sirius said, pushing him forward, "Let's get you married, Prongs."
He couldn't even feel his legs as he followed the judge to the front of the altar. He folded his hands in front of him, and nervously looked out to the audience.
There were hundreds of them! Their friends from school, the Order members (scattered around and disguised, of course), all of the Evans family. In the front row, where his mother and father should have sat, there were two large bouquets of roses. The most beautiful roses that James had ever seen. A white daisy sat next to the bouquets, and James had to turn away to stop from crying. It was getting so hard these days. It seemed like he was always in danger of crying.
In the second row sat Frank and Alice, beaming at James. Alice seemed to have a handkerchief that she was dabbing at her eyes. Her bubbly persona had returned, and no one would have ever thought that she was an Auror that had killed men twice the size of her.
Next to them, sat Mad Eye Moody, his bowler tipped over his large eye. It was only these three that James could make out sitting together. Everyone else was scattered, mingling with Lily's family on the right pews, and others sitting with James's friends from Hogwarts.
He could see Dumbledore in the very back row, his eyes glistening as he smiled warmly at James. James felt his heart leap. He was here. It was all going to be all right.
The music struck its first chord, and his eyes snapped to the entrance of the church. The doors opened, and Davey, arm in arm with Sandra, stepped into sight. Davey was beaming with excitement, while Sandra (who was trying to look disgusted with the fact that she was walking with Davey Gudgeon but failing miserably) tried to keep in step with him. The periwinkle blue dresses did look very pretty on the bridesmaids. He could just imagine what the wedding dress would look like.
Behind Davey, came Peter and Bea (a very unlikely pair). Bea was dragging him along, looking very peeved. Peter looked like he was going to cry out in fear at any moment. He kept twitching as he glanced at his partner, nervously, and James knew that he was scared to death of Bea.
And finally, James had to smile. From behind the other two pairs, came Remus, arm in arm with Petunia Evans. He was very rigid, his messier brownish grayish hair falling into his face in twisted locks. Lily had always liked his hair, and didn't want him to do anything to it. Sirius had protested, but since when did Lily listen to Sirius?
Petunia looked very sour, especially with her partner. She did not want to be seen arm in arm with one of "his kind." Oh, how would she have reacted if she knew that he was a werewolf to boot?
Remus gave an encouraging smile to James, and winked. Then, the bridesmaids and men of honor took their spots behind the respected person. In a diagonal line behind Sirius the men went, and the women found their way behind the empty space where Elise would have stood.
They had decided to have her there in spirit, as a dedication to her life. It had been Lily's idea, and James agreed with it wholeheartedly. It was the right thing to do.
Everything was in place. His friends were with him. They were right behind him, as always. He had his boys here. They wouldn't let him do anything stupid . . .
Sirius cleared his throat, and then nodded to the church door. Everything had gone quiet, as everyone turned in their seats to look at the back of the sanctuary, trying to catch a look of the sight that stood there in the entranceway.
James's eyes drifted dreamily up to the door and then his heart stopped. It was the moment that he had dreamed about for years. It was that moment that he would remember for the rest of his life. It seemed as if everything had faded from his eyesight except for that one beautiful creature standing in the back.
This was life. This was living. This was his moment.
This was a dream.
She was beautiful in her wedding dress. The white veil covered her face, but he could still make out her emerald green eyes, sparkling magically from behind it. She was smiling brightly, and looking directly at James. A bouquet of flowers was held in her perfect and pale hands. The neck of her wedding dress went the length of her neck, sequined in gems and patterns. The flowing long sleeves of the arms that had made him think of angels' wings now rippled with every step that she took closer and closer to him. She was out of the doorway, and heading towards the front. Her father was arm in arm with her, and the ring bearer and flower girl in front. Her long train was hovering magically above the floor, keeping itself prim and neat. Her hair was down, and gleaming brightly with the candles that filled the church.
She was so beautiful.
And yet, James saw this beauty fade in front of his eyes.
As Lily passed the third row from the back, her angelic figure fattened. Her hair grew gray. Her hips widened, and her chin doubled. Her fine hands wrinkled, and her face from behind the veil sagged. She was old.
This is what she would turn out to be. The beauty would be gone. The perfect figure and the pale, smooth skin, and her red hair weren't forever. If he lived to be that old, and she lived to be that old . . . she would be old.
Could he still love her?
And from this shadow of the future, he saw the same emerald eyes sparkling still from beneath the veil. His heart lightened, and he smiled to himself.
Yes, he could.
It wasn't the beauty of her skin that he was in love with. It was the spirit that had saved him from Voldemort, from himself, from the world a countless number of times. It was the spirit of the girl that had defied the Dark Lord by sending up the sparks, by never giving up . . .
It was the girl that had told him off for bullying other students, for hexing her friends in the hallways . . .
For telling him that he wouldn't amount to anything.
It was that spirit that he was in love with.
He quickly dug into his pockets, and withdrew the motorbike keys. He put them behind his back, and handed them to Sirius.
"I won't be needing these," he muttered out of the corner of his mouth.
Lily could feel herself walking closer and closer to the altar, her father locking his arm with her. She could see James staring at her in that dreamy gaze that he got when he was in deep thought. What was he thinking?
He was so handsome in his robes, and his hair that he had tamed just for her for today. His hand hadn't twitched at all the entire morning to undo the style, and Lily was very proud of him.
His glowing hazel eyes beamed at her as she took another step closer. It was the moment that all little girls dreamed of, at nights when they were alone in their rooms. Their man in shining armor would appear before their eyes, and they would whisper the words, "I do" to the groom that never existed.
But now he did exist.
She remembered the first time that she had seen him. She had fallen in love with him. Not like he had to her, no. She was a lot less mature than that. But it seemed from the moment that she stepped into the boat, that something had changed in her life. Something had altered the life that she was supposed to have, and brought along a new one.
Those six years when she had yelled at him, pestered him, ignored him . . . those six years when she tried not to let herself fall for him, she had tried to blind herself from what she truly had wanted in her heart. She knew that James Potter was one of those sorts that always had a new girlfriend each term, and he left them without another thought. Well, yes, she had done the same thing, but she had been in control of those relationships. The boys had been fawning for her, not the other way around. She could get rid of them, not the other way around.
But James was different. He was arrogant. He was higher than her when it came to many things, and she knew that if she ever let herself fall for that boy, then she was just going to get her heart broken. He would throw her out like all of the other pretty girls that he had courted, and she would be left in a mess. She could just see herself in her dormitory, cursing herself for thinking that she could have changed James.
That she could have altered what he was going to do to her.
It wasn't until seventh year that finally she saw that he truly wanted to see her. When he had asked her, it wasn't as if he was higher than her. It was as if she was higher than him. She had felt special. She had felt different than all the other girls before her.
She had liked that feeling.
Had it only been over a year that they had gone on their first date?
She looked back at James, and her smile faded. The handsome stature of the eighteen-year-old boy had disappeared, and now the eleven-year-old jerk took his place, in front of his bodyguard, equally as young. Sirius and James smiled back at her, but they weren't the same. They were the arrogant little gits that they had been years ago. Sirius hadn't grown his stubble yet, and he held out his wand, shaking it at Lily.
"Hey Evans!" she could practically hear James shouting her name now.
Would she ever forgive him?
What would her eleven-year-old counterpart say if she had been sitting in the audience?
"You're marrying HIM?" she heard her tiny, pure voice sound from her mind, "You're marrying James Potter? That ego-trip on a broomstick? That ignorant . . ."
But she had seen James that night on the Astronomy Tower. She had seen him truthfully wanting to show her his world, and invite her into it. The light of the fireflies still filled her mind, and she knew that James had not been thinking about any other girl at that time. The only one that had ever mattered to him was her. And that's all that mattered to her.
It was meant to be. This was the moment in which she would give her life to him.
Her feet touched the stairs to the altar platform, and then she saw herself grow eye level with James. They exchanged one last smile, before the judge spoke.
"Who gives this bride in marriage?"
"Her mother and I do," Mr. Evans said, his eyes bright with tears residing there. They were dangerously close to falling down his face. Lily gave him one last hug.
"I love you, Daddy," she whispered, and he nodded.
"I know," he said, and then headed for his seat next to a bawling Mrs. Evans.
And then it was only Lily and James. It was only those two that mattered in the world once again. As they looked into each other's eyes, every doubt was forgotten. Every grudge was put aside. Everything was the way it should be.
"You may sit," the judge said, and the audience took their seats in a shuffle of papers and dresses, "Today, we are gathered together to witness this marriage of these two beautiful young people. James Potter, and Lily Evans. Does the ring bearer have the rings?"
The little boy came forward; the two bands set carefully on a blue pillow. The judge took them, and handed them to the bride and groom, "They have chosen to write their own vows. Lily, you may speak now."
Lily gave her bouquet to Petunia, who was standing behind her, and then took a balled up paper from her hand. She unfolded it, and then took a deep breath. She smiled nervously to James, and then opened her mouth to speak.
"When the world tells us that it is impossible," she read, "And when the world is falling from underneath us, and we have no where to turn, I feel the safest. For I know that you are there, and you won't let anything happen to me. When that same world tells us that this isn't meant to be, and that we aren't ready for a life of commitment and adulthood, I still feel the safest. Because I know that you will always be there with me, for you are committed to me, and I am committed to you. I swear to you, in this moment when all of the world is watching and filled with doubts, when the entire world is slowly dying, that I will never leave your side. I want to live my life with you, and I want to die with you. I vow to you to always be true, be faithful, and be not only a wife, but a friend and comforter. My heart is all I can give you; it is all that I own. Therefore I give you my all. I give you everything that I have," she said, placing the large ring on James's finger.
"And James, do you have something you would like to read for Lily," the judge asked, as Lily gave her slip of paper to Petunia, who was already trying to balance the bouquet.
James stared into Lily's eyes, and she waited for him to bring out his own paper. But he didn't. He took her hands in his, and biting his lip, took his turn to speak directly to her. He had the ring in his hand, and he was toying with it with his fingers.
"I don't have all of the answers to the world," he said, "I don't know everything about life and marriage and happiness. But I do know what love is. And I do know that when love is real, and when love is in its strongest form, it is the most powerful thing on this earth. It kills, saves lives, heals wounds, and most of all, brings hope. That is what you have done for me, Lily. You have brought me hope. When I look into your eyes, I know that no matter what may happen to me, as long as I can see those eyes staring back at me, then I'll be fine. Somehow I'll make it through. Somehow I'll find a way to survive for you. And that's what I want to feel for the rest of my time here on Earth, however short or long that may be. I want to wake up every morning and see your shining face staring back at me. But I also want to protect you. I want to protect you from anything that may hurt you. I want to be there when you cry to dry your tears. When you feel lonely, I want to give you a kiss. When you are scared, to embrace you. And," he took the ring, and slipped it onto her perfect finger, " . . . and when you are happy, to share a laugh with you. I don't know what's in store for us, but I do know that true love outlasts everything. It outlasts doubt, hate, war, misfortune, and most of all death. I vow to you to always be beside you. Not only in this life, but the next. Because that's when love becomes real. That's when love becomes unchained from anything in this life. I know that when I die, the first thing that I will see will be your eyes. That is how I will know that I made it to Heaven. Because you and I will still be together, forever."
There was a silence as Lily stared at him, in complete happiness. They exchanged a sad smile, and then they locked their hands together, holding on for dear life.
Sirius watched the two of them from behind James, and he felt his stomach drop. This was the real thing. This was the genuine article. They were truly in love. Something that he would never feel.
The vision of Elise came back, and he pushed it out his head.
He shifted uncomfortably as the judge turned to the couple. This was the moment that they had all been waiting for. The moment that Sirius had secretly been dreading in his heart.
But he saw their smiling faces. He had heard their words. And he too felt himself grinning truthfully for the first time in days.
"Do you, James Potter, take this woman, Lily Evans, to be your lawfully wedded wife?" he said.
"I do," James said solemnly, squeezing her hand. It was done. It was her turn now. And then the pact would be sealed. A pact that would be more important than any others that had followed.
"And do you, Lily Evans, take this man, James Potter, to be your lawfully wedded husband?"
Lily's smile brightened, "I do."
"Then with the power invested in me, I pronounce you man and wife," he turned to James, "You may kiss the bride."
James, with steady hands, took the end of the veil, and lifted it over Lily's head. Her face came in clear now, and it was the brightest that it had ever been. She was so happy.
Sirius watched as the two of them embraced, sharing a passionate kiss. That's when the world stopped. That's when the people outside continued on without those few on the stage. Not just for the bride and groom, but for the three boys standing behind the groom as well.
Prongs had died in that kiss. James was a man. James was a husband. He had a family.
"It is my honor to present to you, Mr. and Mrs. James Potter," the judge announced to the audience, and the church exploded with cries of joy and applause. Even Dumbledore could be seen wiping a tear from his eye, and Frank was beaming from his seat.
Mad Eye took his cloak and dabbed his face with it. James wanted to laugh, and he would have if he hadn't been overly ecstatic with what had just happened.
Lily Potter turned to her husband, and kissed him again.
And this time, James had no doubts.