The plot thickens. Or something. I really appreciate all you guys reading and reviewing, it means a lot to me. Thanks to DQ (aka TVWSM), who rocks my socks, and farfalina, who roucks my soucks, and to all the kids at OTB and TWoP. I love you!

Ah, the disclaimer: I don't own these boys (but, oh, if I did…). Or the girls. So no suing.

Also, if you'll note, in the summary line it mentions that it's Seth/Ryan slash. So, if that's not your thing, don't read it. No worries.

Feels like reckless driving when we're talking
It's fun while it lasts, and it's faster than walking
But no one's going to sympathize when we crash
They'll say "you hit what you head for, you get what you ask"
and we'll say we didn't know, we didn't even try
one minute there was road beneath us, the next just sky

I'm sorry I can't help you, I cannot keep you safe
I'm sorry I can't help myself, so don't look at me that way
we can't fight gravity on a planet that insists
that love is like falling
and falling is like this.

--"Falling Is Like This," Ani DiFranco

__________________________________________________________________________________________________

Seth was the first one to pull away, but he didn't move his hand from its place on Ryan's leg. When he opened his eyes, he saw that Ryan's were still closed, his head slightly tilted and his lips barely parted, shiny from the moisture of the kiss.

Seth wanted to speak, but he didn't know what to say. It was an unfamiliar feeling. So he just sat there, waiting for Ryan to open his eyes. He heard a sound like someone running, then his name in Summer's voice.

"Cohen! Chino! Where they hell are you?" Summer sounded panicked.

Ryan opened his eyes and looked at Seth, and they stood together and rounded the corner towards Summer's voice.

"God, could you have walked a little farther? C'mon, I need your help. Marissa's passed out inside, and we need to leave if you are going to be home by two."

Ryan's body tensed. All the electricity from the kiss ran out of his body, and the normal feeling of slight dread flooded his chest again. He glanced over at Seth, grabbed his clothes off the rock, and started walking back towards the beach house.

Summer walked beside Seth a few steps behind, noticing something strange. She wondered what the two of them had been talking about.

"You okay?" She bumped Seth with her shoulder playfully, but her tone was concerned.

Seth stumbled a bit, regained his footing and tried to smile at Summer. "Yeah. Just tired, and ready to get home." Seth put one hand in his pocket and reached up to rub the back of his neck with the other.

Summer knew something else was going on, but she didn't want to push it, especially with Ryan only a few steps ahead of them. She would grill Seth tomorrow.

Summer and Seth finally caught up to Ryan and they walked inside the beach house. Ryan walked over to the couch where Marissa was lain carelessly, and picked her up. They walked outside and Ryan placed her gingerly in the backseat. Luke walked up to them as Ryan was climbing into the front seat.

"Hey. I've been looking for you guys all night." He noticed Marissa passed out in the backseat and shot Ryan a knowing look. "I tried to tell her to take it easy, but she doesn't listen to anyone lately."

Ryan shrugged and closed the car door. Luke leaned against the door, sticking his head inside to talk to Seth and Summer as well. "You guys wanna get together tomorrow? Maybe take my dad's boat out?"

Summer nodded. "Yeah, that's cool. I'll call you when Little Miss Sunshine wakes up."

Luke looked at Seth and Ryan. "What about you two?"

Seth started to speak, but Ryan interrupted him. "Actually, we kinda have plans tomorrow afternoon. Maybe next weekend, though?"

Seth looked at Ryan, questions dancing in his eyes, but he remained silent. Luke leaned back and moved his hand from the car door. "All right. See you guys later!"

Seth backed out of the driveway and headed towards Summer's house. He looked in the rearview mirror at Summer, who was stroking Marissa's hair while the drunk girl rested her head in her lap. "Marissa's spending the night with you tonight, right?"

Summer nodded. "Yeah, no way we're taking her home like this. I figured it'd be best if she stayed with me."

They rode in silence. Seth didn't even turn on the radio.

Once at Summer's, Ryan carried Marissa in and laid her on Summer's bed. He started to take off her shoes, but Summer stopped him.

"It's okay, Ryan. I can do this. You and Seth need to get home before curfew." She moved to sit down on the bed and carefully took off Marissa's corsage and set it on the nightstand next to the bed. Ryan just nodded and walked out. Seth leaned down and kissed Summer on the top of the head. "I'll call you tomorrow, okay?"

As Seth moved to walk towards the door, Summer stopped him. "Seth, is everything okay with you and Chino?" Her voice was quiet but concerned.

Seth nodded, but his heart skipped a beat. "Yeah, why?"

"You guys just looked really intense on the beach earlier, and you've been kinda weird all night. Did you guys have a fight?"

Seth shook his head. "No, he's just really stressed about Marissa. And I can't say I blame him, honestly."

Summer looked down at her best friend and frowned. "Yeah, I think we're all a little stressed about Marissa. I mean, she's my best friend and I love her, but I hate that shit she pulls with Ryan. Yes, no, yes, no. It's bullshit." Summer shook her head and leaned down to take off Marissa's other shoe. Looking up at Seth, she said, "You better get going. We'll talk more tomorrow."

Seth walked downstairs. He heard the car running out front and realized Ryan was waiting for him. He walked out the door, grabbing Ryan's boutonniere on his way out.

As he sat in the driver's seat, he handed the boutonniere to Ryan. "I didn't know if you'd want this or not."

Ryan took the box and opened it. Seth drove out of Summer's driveway. He wanted to say something, but he couldn't. The words just weren't there. There were entirely too many thoughts crashing about in his head for him to put a coherent sentence together. Usually Seth had about 20 trains of thought on the track at once, but tonight was just weird. Even when, about five minutes away from home, Ryan pulled the pin out of the stem, rolled his window down and threw the rosebud out the window, Seth remained silent.

Seth pulled into the driveway at 1:55. "Perfect timing," he said, as he turned the car off. The kitchen light was still on, but the rest of the house was dark. "Think they're waiting up for us?"

Ryan shrugged. "Don't know. Guess we'll see."

They both walked inside quietly, just in case no one was waiting up. They found Kirsten asleep on the couch in her robe, a cold cup of tea on the coffee table. Seth shook her shoulder gently. "Mom, we're home. Five minutes early. You can go to bed now."

Kirsten sat up and yawned. She glanced at the clock on the wall, verifying Seth's claim. She stood up and patted each of the boys on the shoulder. "Glad you're home. I'm going to bed." She started for the stairs, then turned back around. "Ryan, where's your jacket?"

"It's in the car. I'll get it out on my way to bed."

Kirsten smiled and touched his cheek. "Don't worry about it, we'll get it in the morning. I'm sure they both need to be taken to the cleaners anyway. Sleep well, boys. Talk to you tomorrow. I want to hear all about it." Kirsten turned and walked upstairs.

Seth leaned against the counter as Ryan stood in front of the refrigerator pouring himself a glass of juice. "What's that?" he asked, gesturing to a package on the counter.

Ryan shrugged, so Seth walked over and opened it. He smiled.

"It's the pictures from tonight. She must have rushed out the house right after we left and had them one-hour developed. You wanna see?"

Ryan shook his head and finished the last of his juice. "I'm going to go to bed." He put his glass in the sink and walked towards the back door.

"Hey Ryan?" Seth's voice was uneasy. "Are we still, going to, um…I mean, you told Luke that we had plans, and I just wondered if we were still going to talk about, um…you know, the…the…" Seth looked at Ryan pleadingly.

"I figured we could maybe go somewhere…some place not in Newport. We can ask your parents tomorrow."

Seth smiled, relieved. "Sounds great. I'll see you tomorrow."

Ryan walked out the door and down to the poolhouse.

-------------------------------

Seth rolled over and looked at the clock on his nightstand. 7:45. Entirely too early to be awake on a Sunday. Especially since he was *still* awake. He had read a comic book, fallen asleep for a few hours, but he had woken up at six, and no matter what he tried he couldn't get back to sleep. He figured he would wait until nine, then go see if Ryan was awake. He usually didn't sleep in very late on weekends, and nine seemed like a reasonable time to wake up. So he stared at the ceiling and tried to make some sense of what had happened with Ryan.

So, in the poolhouse earlier, Seth was pretty sure that he had kissed Ryan. Well, it wasn't a question of whether there was kissing; it was more a question of who was kissing whom. He was pretty sure he had done the kissing. And he was pretty sure that Ryan would freak. But then, it kinda seemed like Ryan had been kissing him back. And that made Seth freak, because that was ridiculous. And then on the beach, he was pretty sure they had kissed each other, which, again, didn't really quell the freaking, but it was an interesting twist. Only, it didn't explain why. And that was the big question.

He hadn't thought anything of offering to teach Ryan to dance. He wasn't the most graceful person in the world, but he knew enough to teach Ryan a few moves so he'd feel more comfortable about prom. And then, while they were dancing, Seth just felt something shift and he saw Ryan differently. Not just as live-in best friend. Something more. And then he couldn't think of anything other than Ryan's damn arms and the soft hair at the nape of his neck, and even though he couldn't explain it, kissing Ryan just seemed like the right thing to do. And no matter how many different ways he approached the situation, he still had no answer. He was searching for solutions, but coming up empty handed. Or brained. Whatever.

He certainly hadn't though of the consequences of kissing your best friend. Your best friend who is a guy. While you yourself are also a guy. But he had wanted to kiss Ryan. And he couldn't explain it. Maybe talking would help.

Seth looked back at the clock. 8:30. Close enough. He jumped up and grabbed some clothes. By the time he showered and got dressed, it would be late enough to go to the poolhouse. Hopefully Ryan would be awake by then.

When Ryan walked into the kitchen, he was surprised to see Seth sitting at the bar drinking a cup of coffee, reading the paper, looking showered and dressed. Seth looked up when Ryan walked into the kitchen and smiled. "Morning."

"Hey. How long have you been up?"

"Not long. My parents left early this morning for some golf tournament. I asked them about borrowing the car today, and my mom said that was fine as long we dropped our tuxes off at the dry cleaners. She just said to be home in time for dinner, because she wants to hear all about Prom."

Ryan poured himself a cup of coffee and walked over to the bar. He leaned his back against the counter and studied Seth.

"So, what's the plan today?"

Seth shrugged. "I don't know, what did you have in mind? Where did you want to go?"

It was Ryan's turn to shrug. "I don't know. I hadn't really thought about it."

Seth thought for a moment and began refolding the paper. "There's a new comic book store that just opened up in Huntington. We could drive up there and check it out. Grab some lunch, hang out. What do you say?" There was no response, and when Seth looked up he saw Ryan flipping through the photographs from the night before, smiling slightly. He spoke without looking up. "Have you seen these?"

Seth shook his head. "No, not yet. I kinda forgot about them."

Ryan put the pictures back in the envelope and set it in front of Seth. "Take a look. I'm going to go grab my wallet and we'll go."

Seth careful removed the pictures from the envelope. He never made it past the first one. There he was, standing in his tux next to Ryan, also in his tux, in front of the fireplace. They were both smiling. Seth focused on Ryan's smile. He looked genuinely happy. Not confused by the present, or stressed about the future, or wounded by the past. He just looked happy. Seth smiled and stared at the picture. Since Ryan's arrival almost two years ago, his life was so different. He wasn't alone anymore. And he knew that no matter what, he wasn't going to lose Ryan, bizarro feelings be damned. He would find some way to fix this.

Down in the poolhouse, Ryan looked down at the picture of Seth and him in front of the fireplace. He quickly stuck it between the pages of a book on his desk, grabbed his wallet, and rushed out the door. At least if everything fell apart today, he would always have that.

When Ryan walked back into the kitchen, Seth was still smiling at the pictures. "Hey, you ready?"

Seth looked up, slightly startled. "Yeah, I'm ready. Let's go." He carefully put the pictures back in the envelope and grabbed the keys his mother had left him.

The two boys climbed into the car and headed out. Seth stuck in a mix CD, turned up the volume, and headed towards the highway.

After about twenty minutes, Ryan leaned forward and turned the music down. Seth looked over quickly. "Hey, do you want to change the CD? I've got my case in the backseat. There's probably not much different in there, but it's not like you're a music connoisseur, so it shouldn't matter." Seth started to reach into the backseat, but Ryan caught his arm.

"No, it's okay. I just wanted to…I just wanted to talk to you for a minute."

Seth didn't want to move his arm away from Ryan's touch, but he also didn't want to be driving one-handed when Ryan was talking. Ryan wanted to talk. Which meant something important needed to be said. Seth replaced his hand on the wheel and looked ahead, exhaling shakily. "Okay. What's up?"

Ryan took a deep breath. Talking. Not his strong suit, but he had said once before that he saves it for when it counts, and now was one of those times.

"I need to apologize. For yesterday. In the poolhouse, and on the beach. I feel like I crossed a line, a bad one, and I'm sorry. I shouldn't have kissed you. I just—"

"Wait." Seth hated to interrupt, but... "Wait, you didn't kiss me. I kissed you. And I'm the one who should be sorry, the one who crossed the line. And I am. Sorry, I mean."

Ryan stared down at his hands. This isn't exactly what he had been expecting. He had wanted to apologize, and for Seth to accept his apology and tell him everything was okay and then things could go back to normal. This was…confusing. Ryan looked up at Seth. "So, you kissed me?"

Seth breathed heavily again, and his eyes saddened. "Yeah. I'm sorry, Ryan. I don't know what happened, we were just dancing and there was Death Cab and arms and everything was just—"

"I kissed you, too." Ryan's voice was low.

Seth stopped midsentence. What?

"What?"

Ryan stared ahead. "I kissed you, too. We were dancing, and your hand was warm on my neck and I kissed you. And on the beach, I kissed you."

And this was a little too much. "Okay, wait…" Seth pulled over into a rest area and parked underneath a tree. He put the car into park, turned off the ignition, and shifted in his seat to look at Ryan. "Okay, so you kissed me?"

Ryan nodded, unable to look up.

"And I kissed you. And that means…"

"We kissed each other."

Seth leaned back against the door and pulled his leg up into the seat. "Wow."

Ryan nodded, head still down. "Yeah."

Seth swallowed deliberately. "What, um. What exactly does that mean?"

Ryan finally looked up, and his eyes were rimmed with tears. "I don't know. Up until right now, I thought it meant that I had maybe lost you. But now, I have no idea."

Seth leaned forward and put his hand on Ryan's arm, his voice gentle. "Ryan…"

Ryan turned his body to face Seth's and spoke again, his voice determined. "Look, Seth, I've been trying to figure this out all night. I couldn't sleep at all. I just sat there, trying to figure out how I went from taking Marissa to the prom to kissing you in a little less than 24 hours. And I don't know. I just don't know. I mean, in my whole life…" Ryan paused, taking another deep breath. "In my whole life, you're the only constant I've ever known. Everything else is a yo-yo, in and out, back and forth, but there's always Seth. That first day, when you hugged me? No one's ever hugged me like that before. Ever. Like they meant it. I mean, you knew me, what, like a day? And you were ready to go on the pancake tour of North America? You risked everything for me. You are everything for me. And before yesterday, I never questioned it. It just was, we just were. But now…I don't know. I don't know what we are. I don't know where we're going. I just know that I kissed you and it felt right. And I know that now I'm scared."

A tear slipped down Ryan's cheek as he turned and reached for the door handle. Seth grabbed his wrist and scooted closer. "Did you know that the only colleges I applied to were the ones you applied to?"

Ryan turned back around, his eyes curious.

Seth nodded. "I don't care where I go to college, as long as you're there. Isn't that lame?" Seth chuckled quietly and continued. "It's like, before you came, I was living in a bubble. No one talked to me, no one ever noticed I was there. Even my parents just sort of lived around me. But then you walked into the living room, and we were playing Playstation, and suddenly I had a friend. And you didn't hate me. You actually seemed to like me. And you stood up for me, which is something no one else has ever done. Ever. I meant what I said that night, Ryan. I'm not going to forget that night. Ever. And you're my best friend, but yesterday, I don't know, it's like we were dancing and everything was just different, you know? I can't explain it. It's just different."

Ryan nodded. "I know. But, now what? I'm in love with my brother? What the fuck, man?"

"Okay, Ryan, honestly, when you think of me, do you think of me as your brother? Like, how you think of Trey?"

Ryan shook his head. He never thought of Seth like he thought of Trey. "No. Not at all."

"And you know what, I've never had a brother, but I don't think of you like one, not really. Not honestly."

Ryan's eyes were confused. "Then what am I, to you? What am I?"

Seth looked into Ryan's eyes and answered without thinking. "The other half of me." Immediately, he looked down, embarrassed. Had he just said "the other half of me"? Out loud? Oh, God, Ryan was certainly leaving now. He removed his hand from Ryan's arm and set it on his knee.

Ryan's heart caught in his throat. That's it, he thought. That's it exactly. Not brother. Not best friend. Part of me. God, that makes perfect sense. He moved to the edge of the seat and set his hand gingerly on Seth's.

"I know exactly what you mean."

"Really?" Ryan nodded. "So, what does that mean?"

"I don't know. I don't know what any of it means. I just know that I want to kiss you again and I want it to be okay." Ryan leaned forward, breathing heavily. Nervous. Scared.

Seth leaned forward, too. He nodded and blinked rapidly. "Me too."

This time, they definitely kissed each other.