A/N: I'm baaaaaaaaaack! And I brought the boys with me! I am so freaking sorry this took so long. But, here we are. Thanks, always and forever, to DQ, who is my TVW and SFWSM. You rock.

So, here goes. All disclaimers apply. As much as I pray and sacrifice small things, I still don't own the OC. Go fig.

It's slash, blahblahblah hotguyskissingcakes. Yum!

My heart burns with feeling,

But my mind, it's cold and reeling
Is this love, baby, or is it confusion?
Oh, my head is poundin', poundin'
Goin' 'round and 'round and 'round and 'round
Is this love, baby
Or is it just confusion?

--"Love or Confusion," Jimi Hendrix

______________________________________________________________________________

Seth's sudden laugh ended the kiss abruptly. Ryan moved back in his seat, confused and a little startled. Seth moved forward, trying to speak.

"I'm sorry. It just…It just kinda occurred to me that I'm sitting in my parents car, at a rest stop, kissing Ryan Atwood. I'm sorry, but the sheer bizarreness of that statement struck me as rather funny. I'm sorry." Seth tried in vain to stop laughing.

Ryan smiled, and then chuckled. "Yeah, I see what you mean." He exhaled heavily, realizing he had been holding his breath again.

Seth reached over and took Ryan's hand into his own. "So, now what?"

Ryan leaned forward. "More kissing?"

Seth smiled. "Okay, right, but I mean, after that. What exactly are we doing?"

Ryan's eyes clouded. "I have no idea." He leaned back in his seat, removing his hand from Seth's. "What are we doing?"

Both boys sat in silence, staring out the windshield. Seth jumped a little when his phone rang. He reached into his pocket, took it out, and checked the caller id. He pushed a button and the ringing stopped, but he didn't answer it. Ryan looked at him questioningly as he slipped the phone back in his pocket.

Seth's voice was low. "Summer."

Ryan felt the edges of his mouth turn down. Summer. Seth's girlfriend. Shit. What the hell was going on? He had been over everything in his mind, and even said more to Seth than he had ever planned to explain. It had all been true. Even when Seth had messed up with the whole Oliver thing last year, even when he was a little obsessed with Summer at the beginning of their relationship, if Ryan was really honest with himself, he had always been there. No matter what, if Ryan needed him, he knew that he could go to Seth. Of all the people he knew, and had ever known, Seth meant the most to him. But now everything was so confusing, and muddled, and unsure—the feeling Ryan hated the most. He hated not knowing what someone was thinking or feeling, and that's part of the reason he was so comfortable with Seth. You never wondered what Seth was thinking or feeling, because he always told you. But even now, after their grand proclamations, Ryan still wasn't sure where they stood. He ran a hand through his hair, and heard Seth talking.

"… and then we just see what happens. What do you think?"

Ryan looked over at Seth, realizing he hadn't heard a word of what Seth had been saying.

"Ryan?"

"Yeah, Seth, I didn't really…"

"Did you hear any of that?" When Ryan shook his head no, Seth sighed. He was formulating a plan here, the least Ryan could do is listen. Sheesh.

"Okay, like I was saying," Seth began pointedly, but grinning, "is that we really don't have to figure all this out right now. I mean, yeah, it's confusing, and seemingly sudden, and kinda changes things a lot, but we'll figure it out. I just don't think we're going to come to any definite solutions right now. So, we just state what we know, and try and figure out where we're going." Seth looked at Ryan expectantly. "What do you think?"

Ryan nodded. Sounded like a good plan.

Seth nodded, too. "Okay, here's what I know. I know that you're my best friend, and that, at some point in the last 24 hours, my feelings for you have gone from 'platonic' to 'more than a little bit minty' and I'm not sure what that means, but honestly, I'm not nearly as freaked out about as I feel I should be, and that right there freaks me out, cos it's probably not all that often that people suddenly become gay from dancing, but I don't really know, you know, cos I don't know all that many gay people, hey, maybe we should call Luke's dad in Portland and talk to him—"

"Seth," Ryan interjected, smiling.

"Hmm?"

"I don't think we're gay."

Seth looked confused.

"I mean, I don't know any gay people either, Mr. Ward excluded, but you don't just wake up gay one morning. I mean, Mr. Ward didn't just 'decide' he was gay. It's more than that. And to be honest, I don't really think that it matters. I'm not having some huge sexual identity crisis. You're the first guy I've ever wanted to kiss, and the fact that you're a guy doesn't bother me nearly as much as the fact that you're Seth."

"So, the Sethness bothers you, not the gayness," Seth looked hurt.

"No, not like that. Okay, 'bothers' wasn't the best word to use there. More like…shocks? Shocks. Okay, that's good. It's not that you're a guy that shocks me, really. It's just that you're Seth, and I feel like I've known you forever, but all of a sudden it's like you're different, or I'm seeing you differently, and that's what's strange. There's a different feeling, now, when I look at you." Ryan visibly relaxed as he saw Seth's face shift from hurt to understanding.

"Okay, I get that. Really. Okay, you know in Kavalier and Clay, it says something about how Sammy felt for Joe the way most guys would feel for a girl, except Joe was a guy, and I've always kinda thought that applied to us as well, because the way I feel about you, whichever way it is, has always been just as strong if not stronger than anyone else. Only now, there's not even the 'except he's a guy' qualifier there. That's what's changed. And at first, I was absolutely terrified, because nothing scares me more than the thought of you not being around, but now that I'm pretty sure we're feeling the same way, I feel a lot better. I'm still not sure I understand everything, but I'm not scared as long as you feel the same way, and you're not running away or kicking my ass. Are you, at any time in the near future, planning on doing either of those thing?"

Ryan shot Seth a patented sideways glance.

"Okay, then, I'm okay. You?"

Ryan took a deep breath. He felt…pretty okay, if he had to be honest. He had kissed Seth, and it had been okay. And even though he was confused, it wasn't bad. There wasn't that sickening dread in the pit of his stomach, and he took that to be a good sign.

"I'm not scared anymore, really. It's just going to take some time, you know? And we kinda need to decide what to do about everyone else? What are we going to do about Marissa and Summer? And your parents?"

"Okay, whoa. I'm thinking we definitely do NOT need to tell the parents. Cos, seriously. I don't even know what we would tell them, and while I don't think they would kill us or anything, I would at least like some time to figure this thing out before we go telling the parents."

"Agreed. And, I'm breaking up with Marissa."

"Ryan, you don't—" Seth didn't want to cause Ryan any more pain.

"No, really, I do. I have to. I should have a long time ago, I should've stopped taking her back a long time ago, because I really cannot deal with this shit any longer. Regardless of what happens with us, I do not want to be with Marissa anymore. The two are separate. What about Summer?"

"I don't know. I mean, we're together, officially, but we haven't been together for a while. I just need to talk to her."

"Are you going to tell her about…?"

"I'm thinking no. She's been telling me that we need to talk for a few weeks, but then with all the Prom hoopla, she dropped it. So, I'll talk to her."

"When?"

"Um, tomorrow?"

Ryan shook his head. Seth grimaced. "Today. I'll talk to her today."

"Okay. I'm going to try and talk to Marissa today, as well. And then…"

Seth leaned over and kissed Ryan again, quickly. "We just go from there, right?"

Ryan smiled as Seth started the car. Right.