A/N: Oh, the muse, she is fickle. But for the moment she's in a really good mood, so let's roll with that. Appropriate disclaimers apply, I own precious little, and none of that has to do with the OC. Well, except for the posters and CD and stuff. *ahem*. Thanks, of course, to DQ. Shirtless, grinning Adam to you, my dear.

Help me out here

All my words are falling short

And there's so much I want to say

--"Please Forgive Me," David Gray

___________________________________________________________________________________

Ryan knocked on the door of Jimmy's apartment. He had called Marissa after Seth had dropped him off at home, and she had been sleeping off an awful hangover at her dad's since he was out of town. Ryan felt a small pang of guilt about having this discussion while Marissa felt so bad, but quickly pushed the thought out of his mind. Marissa wasn't his responsibility, and he had to tell her it was over. Not just because of Seth, although that was part of it. He wondered how Seth's conversation with Summer was going, but he didn't dwell long before Marissa opened the door.

"Hey, Ryan," Marissa smiled, wincing at the sunlight. "Come on in."

Ryan stepped inside, deftly avoiding Marissa's attempt to kiss him hello. They walked into the apartment, and Ryan sat down on the couch.

"Do you want to go upstairs to my room?" Marissa asked, trying to recover from the awkwardness of the missed kiss.

"No, I'd rather stay down here. We need to talk." Ryan's voice was low, determined.

"Okay," Marissa whimpered. She sat down beside Ryan and tried to take his hand, but he moved further away from her. "What's going on, Ryan?"

"This?" Ryan said, motioning between himself and Marissa. "Is over."

Marissa's eyes filled with tears. "What—what do you mean, over?"

"I mean, I can't be with you any more."

"Ryan," Marissa tearfully interjected. "I'm really sorry about last night, I told you—"

"No," Ryan cut her off tersely. "This isn't just about last night, Marissa. It's about the past two years, and the roller coaster that we've been on, that I've been on, because of you. You do, you don't, we are, we aren't, and I'm tired of it. It never changes. And I can't do it any more." Ryan took a deep breath.

"Ryan, I promise, things will get better. I can—I can. . ." Marissa trailed off.

"Look, Marissa, it doesn't matter. Nothing can change the past. It's done. I don't want to be with you anymore." Ryan continued, despite Marissa's quiet sobbing. "I really don't want to hurt you, but it's over. Nothing you can say will change that. I'm tired of being miserable, and getting hurt. It's over."

Ryan stood to leave, but Marissa grabbed his wrist. "Ryan, wait."

Ryan stared down at Marissa's hand on his wrist, and looked at her. "No, Marissa. No more waiting. I'm leaving now."

Marissa let go of his wrist and collapsed on the couch in tears. Ryan walked out the door and leaned against the wall beside it. Seth. He really, really needed to talk to Seth. He pulled his cell phone from his pocket and dialed Seth's number as he walked towards his bike.

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"Okay, we really need to talk."

Seth was sitting in Summer's bedroom, playing absent-mindedly with the fringe on one of her pillows. He hadn't quite figured out what he was going to say yet, but he knew the words would come to him. They'd more than likely be the wrong words, but they'd be there, right?

"I know. I've been telling you that for weeks." Summer sat down next to Seth on the bed. Okay, this wasn't going to be easy, but it had to be done. Just get it over with, like ripping a Band-Aid off. Painful at first, but necessary.

"Summer, I--" Seth began, but Summer cut him off.

"Let me go first. I've really got to say something, and I just need you to listen, okay?" Summer took a deep breath as Seth nodded. She started speaking, and the words rambled out of her brain like a Seth Cohen monologue.

"Look, you're my best friend, Seth. And I really care about you, and I love being with you, but...college is like right around the corner, and I'll be at NYU, and Marissa will be in Boston, and you and Ryan are staying here in California, and everything is changing. It's so cliché, but it's like a new chapter is starting, and as much as I would love to be all romantic and crazy, I don't think long distance relationships are logical, and I really can't see us staying together when there's an entire country between us, and I do love you, I really do, but I think maybe if we make a clean break now, we could stay friends, because I don't want to lose you completely, and I don't want you to hate me--" Summer trails off, a sob catching in her throat. Cohen's going to hate her. He has to. She can't even look at him.

Oh, thank God. Seth takes one of Summer's hands in his, and lifts her chin. "Summer, I couldn't hate you. It's cheesy, but it's true. And believe it or not, I know exactly where you're coming from. Things are changing," Seth says, thinking of Ryan, "and I totally agree, long distance sucks, and I would much rather have you as a friend than for you to go off to New York and never talk to me again."

Summer smiled, wiping a tear from her cheek. "I really do care about you, Seth. I was so scared you were going to hate me for breaking up with you."

"Not at all. You're right. High school's almost over, like, forever. College is going to be a different world, and who knows what's going to happen? We're so different now than we were, like, a year ago, or even a day ago, really, and things are just going to keep changing, because life is unpredictable and strange, so it's best to prepare ourselves now for what might happen in the future, right?"

"Cohen, what are you talking about?"

"What? Nothing. I'm just saying, you're right, if we break up now, then our chances of remaining friends in the future are much better, and that's important to me. And things are changing, we're changing, growing up, if you will, and we've just gotta roll with the punches, right?" Shut up, Seth, he thought to himself. Just shut up, man.

"Okay, seriously? What's going on? You've been completely ignoring my requests to talk for, like, weeks, and last night at Prom was totally bizarre, and Chino was acting quieter and broodier than normal, and now all of a sudden *you* are the one that needs to talk, and you're taking this whole break up thing much better than I thought and now you're rambling about life changes and stuff. What's up, Cohen?"

"I thought you'd be glad that I'm not upset about the whole 'break up thing.'" Seth made air quotes with his fingers. "What did you expect, that I would collapse in racking sobs and beg you to stay with me? Were you trying to crush me? Break my heart?" Seth's voice was a little harsher than he intended.

"God, no. Get over yourself." Summer took a breath. She didn't want to fight. "I'm just saying that it's a little weird that in a little less than a day, you've gone from Captain Avoidance to Mister Talk About the Future. And I *know* something happened on the beach last night with Chino, and I'm just trying to figure out what's going on with you. Did you and Chino get into an argument?"

"Um, not exactly, no. It doesn't matter." Seth stood up and walked to the other side of the room. Must. Not. Talk.

"Seth, if something's bothering you, you can talk to me. Honestly. I mean, I may not be the most compassionate person ever, but you're my best friend, and I know something's going on, and you were really weird last night, and I know how much you hate when Ryan's upset, and--"

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"What? Exactly what I said, dork. You hate it when Ryan's upset with you, and I thought if you guys were arguing on the beach last night, then maybe--"

"Well, we weren't arguing, okay? He's just really stressed about Marissa and stuff."

"Okay, fine." Summer sounded a little angry. "If you don't want to talk about whatever's bothering you, that's fine. You don't have to. I was just trying to help."

"Summer," Seth said, pleadingly. "Honestly, it's not that I don't want to talk about it, okay? I just can't. Especially not with you."

"Why? Because I'm your ex-girlfriend?" Summer still sounded angry.

"Dude, no. I mean, Christ, you've only been my ex-girlfriend for, like, ten minutes. I sincerely doubt that's enough time for my subconscious to place boundaries around our conversational topics. I just can't tell anyone, okay? It's just…it's too weird and confusing." God, Seth wanted to tell Summer. He just wanted to say it out loud, just once. He wanted her to tell him he wasn't a freak, tell him that it was okay, because as much as he had tried to assure Ryan in the car earlier, truth be told, he was still a little freaked out. It was all still so new. And hard to get used to. Seth still couldn't quite wrap his head around what was going on in his heart.

Summer's face softened. "Okay, Cohen, I'm sorry. I wasn't trying to bully you into telling me." Seth smirked. "Okay, maybe I was, but seriously. If you need to talk, I'm here, okay? Nothing leaves this room. I'm a really good secret-keeper. Look how long I successfully hid our relationship last year." Summer smiled, and Seth chuckled.

Seth walked over and sat back down on the bed. What the hell, right? Worse-case scenario, she freaks out, tells everyone, and he can tell Ryan she beat it out of him in a rage blackout. He and Ryan get kicked out of town, and they embark on that Pancake Tour Seth's been talking about forever. Not too bad. Deep breath.

"If I tell you this, you have to promise me that A--you won't tell another living soul, not even Ryan, and B--you won't kick my ass."

"Cross my heart and hope to die," Summer says, as she makes the motions over her chest.

Another deep breath. Here goes nothing.

"I kissed Ryan."

Seth looked up, but Summer's expression doesn't change. Something flickered in her eyes, but Seth couldn't quite decipher it. Seth continued.

"He was freaking out about dancing at Prom, well, not freaking out, cos Ryan doesn't freak out about anything, but he was blatantly refusing to dance, and so I offered to show him a couple of dance steps so Marissa wouldn't be disappointed, so there we were, dancing in the poolhouse, and god this sounds so stupid, but I just…kissed him. And it was weird and…nice, really, and then my parents came out to the poolhouse to talk about prom and stuff, and I just freaked, and made a hasty retreat after the laws were handed down, and then on the beach, we kissed again, but this time I wasn't really sure who kissed who, and then you came up, and Marissa was passed out, and then we just went home and the next morning we were going to drive to Huntington and check out the new comic book store but on the way there, Ryan apologized for kissing me, and I was, like, wait, I kissed you, and then we determined that we kissed each other, and we talked about it, and I think maybe we're dating, but I don't really know, but I know that the way I feel about him is different, but not bad, and it's all crazy and confusing and now I need to breathe."

After a pause, Summer erupted into giggles. Seth looked up, confused.

"What? My identity crisis is *funny* to you?"

"I'm sorry, Cohen, but, seriously…I kinda thought maybe, by some random act of God and nature, you had met another girl, and that's why you weren't too upset about the break up, but I really didn't expect it to be Chino." Summer giggled again.

"Ha. You're hilarious." Seth moved to get up off the bed, but Summer caught his arm.

"I'm sorry, Seth. Honestly. Just gimme a sec to compose myself." Seth plunked back down, and Summer took a breath. "Okay, wow. I just…I mean, Chino. And you. That's just crazy. I mean, not bad crazy, just…wow. So, what does that mean?"

"I don't know. I mean, on the one hand, I don't really feel that different, except for the obvious, but on the other hand there's that whole, Willow-'Gay Now' thing, and I don't know. It's weird, and weirdly not weird."

"Is this what you needed to talk to me about?"

"Well, kinda. I wasn't planning on telling you the whole story, but I can't keep my damn mouth shut ever, so, yeah. It's crazy."

"Not really. I mean, if I'm not mistaken, Luke's been calling this one for years." Summer's smile was viciously cute.

"Ha, again. Dude, even if I am gay, proving Luke wrong would be enough reason to stay in the closet for, like, ever."

Summer laughed. "Do you feel gay?"

"I have no idea how to answer that question. That's what's so fucked up. Not really. I mean, I'm still sitting here, having a hard time not staring at your boobs in that tank top, and yet, strong desire to kiss Ryan. What the hell?"

"Bisexuals do exist, Cohen. It's not like you invented the phenomenon."

"Shut up. It's just, there's not this huge list of guys I want to make out with. Just one."

"Okay, so maybe you're, like, Chinosexual. Who knows?"

"I don't know. I don't really care, to be honest. I'm just not really sure where to go from here, you know? Are we dating? Am I dating Ryan?"

"You're certainly kissing him. I cannot even imagine that. No, wait," Summer closed her eyes and smiled. "I so can imagine that. It's pretty hot."

"Ha, for the third time today," Seth snitted as he smacked Summer with a fringed pillow.

Summer giggled, and moved to sit closer to Seth. "Cohen, you're my best friend. And whatever happens with this Ryan thing, I'm here. Whatever changes, I'm here." Summer kissed him gently on the cheek.

"Do you feel kinda sad, though?" Seth asked.

Summer answered thoughtfully. "A little. I mean, I do love you. But you can't change the way you feel, and neither can I, and it's not like we're never going to see or talk to each other again. It's just…the end of one thing, and the beginning of another. So, sad, but happy. Or something."

Seth nodded. "Thanks, Summer. Seriously. I feel a lot better." Seth leaned back against the pillows at the headboard. "I'm glad we're cool."

Summer leaned back against Seth's shoulder. "We're cool. Does this mean you're going to start shopping with me?"

"Dear Lord, no. Never. There's nothing in the world that could make me that gay." Seth deadpanned as Summer elbowed him in the ribs, laughing.

"So, where is Ryan?"

"Talking to Marissa. He was going to head over there this afternoon."

"Is he breaking up with her?"

"Yeah."

"Good for him. I mean, regardless of what happens with you guys, he needs to let that shit go. Hey, wanna watch The Valley? Tons of cute guys…" Summer asked playfully.

"Ha. Ha. Ha. You're really on fire today, Summer. I'm dying over here." Seth laughed despite himself. Summer cued up the DVD player as Seth's phone started ringing.