"There is only one thing I can do," Calaen said, standing at the side of
the bed, blade still in hand. He swayed slightly as his head erupted in
pain, but he pushed it away. "There is only one thing I can do, and...it is
the one thing that I wish to do."
"Put the knife down," said Legolas gently. "Do not do this."
"There is nothing to stop me from doing it," replied Calaen. He looked up at Thranduil then, and his face was sad. "You do not believe me, and I understand your reasons. Let me now prove that my words were spoken truthfully."
Legolas swore as he realised with a thrill of horror what Calaen was implying. He jumped past Thranduil and across to his brother, but it was too late. As though in slow motion, he watched in amazement as blood flowered the front of Calaen's tunic, right where his heart was.
"Valar..." breathed Legolas, as the dark haired Elf fell. He darted forwards to catch him, and gently lowered him to the ground, holding the bloody body against his own.
Calaen looked down at the hilt protruding from his chest, and he smiled vaguely. "There, do you believe me now? It is not very much, but I shed my life's blood for those whose lives I destroyed."
Thranduil stared in amazement, but then shook himself mentally to come back to reality. "But I...I believed you as soon as I looked into your eyes. You had nothing to prove."
"You believed me? But you turned away and said nothing," breathed Calaen, a rare expression of panic flashing across his face. "I thought that you did not...."
"Ai Elbereth," muttered Thranduil, and he dropped to the ground next to the two younger Elves. "Airëlus, he needs your help. The knife has gone in deeply, but not so much that it cannot be treated."
Calaen shook his head as the healer came forwards. "No, I wish for no help. Please, do not save me."
"You're going to die," hissed Legolas. "Is that really what you want? Do you honestly wish to...? Oh, Valar...."
The dark haired Elf closed his eyes, and unconsciously rested his head back against his brother's chest. "You understand right. Yes, I want to die. Do not try and sway my mind."
"Is this about Aradan?" demanded Legolas. "Killing yourself will not bring him back."
"I am doing this not just for my son, but for everyone I have ever hurt," muttered Calaen. "I am doing it for you, Legolas, and for you two, Thranduil and Airëlus. I want to show how sorry I am."
"This is ridiculous," Thranduil snapped. The Elven-king of course had not forgiven Calaen his evil deeds, but did not want it to end this way. "Damn it, will you just let Airëlus save you? You can apologize for as long as you want afterwards."
"And what happens then?" asked Calaen quietly.
Legolas grimaced as he held a hand over his brother's new wound. "We will take one step at a time. Do not think of the future at this moment."
"But I have been doing that since I regained consciousness," said Calaen. "What if I were to go back to Mirkwood? How do you think the other Elves would receive me? They would look on me in hatred, and so they should. And, Thranduil? You say you believed my words, but have you forgiven me? No. Will you ever? No."
"Maybe with time," the King said through gritted teeth.
"Airëlus, I killed you. I murdered you, my own brother, in cold blood," Calaen continued, his eyes growing a little darker even as he spoke. "Knowing all I have done, would you be able to look on me again? And how will it feel if you save my life? You could rid Arda of one more killer."
"A killer who has repented," muttered the healer. "Maybe you have done awful things. I do not think there is anyone who can possibly deny that, but you were under the influence of overwhelming emotions: jealousy, anger. I see that now. Yes, it will be hard to get back to the way we used to be. But like Ada said, with time..."
Calaen smiled, though there was very little humour in his face. "Legolas, what of you? It is you whom I hurt the most."
The Prince shook his head, and looked down into his brother's eyes. "That does not matter at the moment. Let Airëlus heal you, then we can talk of everything after."
"If I am saved, I will have to live out the rest of my life with the knowledge of all that I have done," said Calaen weakly. "The memories will haunt me, and the dreams will never leave my head. I will forever be chased by the demons of my past. To die is....is a better option, do you not think?"
"Maybe he has a point," muttered Thranduil.
Airëlus sighed, and looked doubtful. "There is still time for me to help you, though it is growing short. It is against my will to not save your life, for that is now my job. If I let you die, I will be no more than a murderer. But, is death really what you want?"
"Yes, it is," whispered Calaen. He looked up then, into his younger brother's eyes. "Decide my fate, Legolas. I will leave it up to you."
"Don't," said the Prince quietly.
"If you want to keep me alive, then I will accept Airëlus' help," said Calaen. "But if you let me die, you will be saving me. To keep me alive would be subjecting me to a torture worse than death."
Legolas looked down at Calaen for a brief moment, before tightening his grip around him. "No, do not give up the chance for a new life."
"Maybe it would be a new life, but do not forget that it would also be an immortal one," said Calaen slowly. "I will spend millennia, remembering what I have done. I will be captured by the past, Legolas. Can you not understand that? Even if I were to erase the memories from my mind, the imprints would still be there. The past never dies."
"Yes," whispered the Prince. "Alright."
Calaen smiled genuinely then, and his face lit up for a second. "You have saved me. I do not deserve this. May the sun always shine on your path, my brother, for you have done what many could not."
Airëlus looked down at the youngest Elf there, and arched an eyebrow. "What have you done?"
"I have forgiven him," said Legolas quietly.
Thranduil looked ready to explode at that, though he clenched his fists behind him and said, "For everything?"
"Yes, for everything," replied the Prince.
'He is a better Elf than I could ever be. To forgive a torturer is....is one of the most admirable things someone could do,' thought Thranduil, gazing down proudly at his youngest son. He narrowed his eyes then, as he glanced at Calaen. 'But, I suppose that for a torturer to repent is quite an admirable feat also."
"Legolas," whispered Calaen, struggling to keep his eye from closing. "The clothes I wore when I was arrested, where are they?"
"Somewhere over there," replied the Prince, jerking his head in the general direction of a wardrobe. "Why?"
"There is something in my tunic, and I want you to have them. They rightfully belong to you anyway, but I took them as a reminder of all I had left behind," said Calaen quietly.
Airëlus had already gone over to where the clothes had been put, and he was sorting through them curiously. When he pulled something out from one of the tunic pockets, he laughed quietly, and turned back to the other Elves.
"Are these what you were talking about?"
"Valar..." breathed Legolas. He looked down at Calaen then, who was smiling vaguely. "How do you have these? I thought they would have been destroyed in the fire."
The dark haired Elf slowly shook his head. "No. They fell from your pocket in the clearing, and at one point I grabbed them. Maybe you were down on the ground. Anyway, I put them in my own pocket. But they belong to you, not me."
Thranduil looked down at the two leaves that were laid out flat in Airëlus' hand: one red-brown, the other green-yellow. They looked very old, but were not withered. In fact, they were far from it. Obviously they had been preserved in some substance so that they would never die. The King smiled vaguely, and watched as the two younger Elves spoke in hushed voices.
"Hannon le," said Legolas quietly.
Calaen shook his head briefly. "No, do not thank me for something so small. If anything, I should be the one thanking you. You have forgiven me, and you are allowing my soul to be set free. My brother, I never meant to hurt you."
"I know," breathed Legolas. "I know."
"I'm sorry. Forgive me...for everything," whispered Calaen. His eyes fluttered then, and a mist slowly entered them. He looked up at the younger Elf, and he smiled. "Goodbye."
Legolas' face remained impassive as his brother's body gave one last shudder, and then was still. However, when the green eyes closed once more, the Prince bowed his head and buried his face into the dark hair. He had never thought it would end this way. Calaen had returned to them, his soul had been cleansed. But then he had left. The Royal Family had been re- united, but then broken up again once more.
Thranduil looked down as his son held Calaen's body close to his own. To have the knowledge that one of your children has long been tormented by one of your other children is destructive, and to be able to forgive is near impossible to do. But now, Calaen was dead. The Elven-king could forgive.
Airëlus pulled his gaze away from his brother – no, brothers – and looked instead at the two leaves he held in his hand. He was not surprised that the death had come about; it had been inevitable, really, and he had prepared himself for it. Now that it was here though, he had been affected in a way he had not thought possible. Silvery tears were glistening in his eyes. Tears for himself, tears for Thranduil, tears for Legolas, and tears for Calaen.
Outside in the courtyard, there was an ancient tree in full blossom. Its boughs hung over the balcony, and shook slowly, as though in mourning for what had taken place. One of the branches shook more than all others though, and the leaves rustled almost soothingly. One of them fell down to the ground, so slowly that it was almost as though in a dream.
Airëlus smiled vaguely, and walked out through the open doors, the curtains gently caressing his fair hair as he moved. He knelt on the balcony floor, and picked up the fallen leaf. On closer inspection though, it was not a leaf. It was a flower, though it took the shape of any other leaf.
"It is white," murmured Thranduil, coming to stand behind his eldest son.
Airëlus nodded, and glanced back into the room. He let his gaze linger on Legolas, who was still holding his brother's body. "Yes, it is white. Calaen has found peace in death."
............................................................................................................
Haldir's Heart and Soul: Don't worry; Monday is here now, and with it: the new chapter!
Legolas-gurl88: Yeah, I was crying also, so you're not alone there! You know, I've never noticed that alphabetical thing, so thanks for pointing it out! It was very useful information! LOL
nanar: True, but at least Airëlus came back!
That Undomiel Chick: Yeah, switch to doughnuts. It's nice to have a change sometimes!
eleanor rigbey: Yeah, I'm very attached to Calaen also, which is weird cos he was so mean. But, oh well! He's sweet. That was quite contradictory.
Halimanya: Thanks for the compliment!
Hiei-Rulez: Don't worry, you'll hear some more about Tain in the chapter after next, so get your shovel ready!
GollumGirl: I'm so sorry they deleted your account. Did you save any of your work on your computer?
The Last Hope: I totally understand why you like Calaen, cos I really do also! And I'm glad you liked the chapter with him and Legolas, cos I definitely enjoyed writing it.
LalaithoftheBruinen: I'm so sorry for killing Aradan...and Calaen now. Yes, it was very evil. Lets have a moment of silence for them!
Ok, I am crying so much now, you wouldn't believe it. Some of you may be thinking that Calaen should've died straight away cos he stabbed himself in the heart, but it is possible to remain alive for a few minutes if you do that. Anyway, I am so sorry I killed him. I know I may have annoyed some people by killing him, but if he had lived, I would've annoyed other people. I felt it was time for him to go. However, I have already been asked to write an alternate ending. I will consider it if other people want one. Let me know. Misto
"Put the knife down," said Legolas gently. "Do not do this."
"There is nothing to stop me from doing it," replied Calaen. He looked up at Thranduil then, and his face was sad. "You do not believe me, and I understand your reasons. Let me now prove that my words were spoken truthfully."
Legolas swore as he realised with a thrill of horror what Calaen was implying. He jumped past Thranduil and across to his brother, but it was too late. As though in slow motion, he watched in amazement as blood flowered the front of Calaen's tunic, right where his heart was.
"Valar..." breathed Legolas, as the dark haired Elf fell. He darted forwards to catch him, and gently lowered him to the ground, holding the bloody body against his own.
Calaen looked down at the hilt protruding from his chest, and he smiled vaguely. "There, do you believe me now? It is not very much, but I shed my life's blood for those whose lives I destroyed."
Thranduil stared in amazement, but then shook himself mentally to come back to reality. "But I...I believed you as soon as I looked into your eyes. You had nothing to prove."
"You believed me? But you turned away and said nothing," breathed Calaen, a rare expression of panic flashing across his face. "I thought that you did not...."
"Ai Elbereth," muttered Thranduil, and he dropped to the ground next to the two younger Elves. "Airëlus, he needs your help. The knife has gone in deeply, but not so much that it cannot be treated."
Calaen shook his head as the healer came forwards. "No, I wish for no help. Please, do not save me."
"You're going to die," hissed Legolas. "Is that really what you want? Do you honestly wish to...? Oh, Valar...."
The dark haired Elf closed his eyes, and unconsciously rested his head back against his brother's chest. "You understand right. Yes, I want to die. Do not try and sway my mind."
"Is this about Aradan?" demanded Legolas. "Killing yourself will not bring him back."
"I am doing this not just for my son, but for everyone I have ever hurt," muttered Calaen. "I am doing it for you, Legolas, and for you two, Thranduil and Airëlus. I want to show how sorry I am."
"This is ridiculous," Thranduil snapped. The Elven-king of course had not forgiven Calaen his evil deeds, but did not want it to end this way. "Damn it, will you just let Airëlus save you? You can apologize for as long as you want afterwards."
"And what happens then?" asked Calaen quietly.
Legolas grimaced as he held a hand over his brother's new wound. "We will take one step at a time. Do not think of the future at this moment."
"But I have been doing that since I regained consciousness," said Calaen. "What if I were to go back to Mirkwood? How do you think the other Elves would receive me? They would look on me in hatred, and so they should. And, Thranduil? You say you believed my words, but have you forgiven me? No. Will you ever? No."
"Maybe with time," the King said through gritted teeth.
"Airëlus, I killed you. I murdered you, my own brother, in cold blood," Calaen continued, his eyes growing a little darker even as he spoke. "Knowing all I have done, would you be able to look on me again? And how will it feel if you save my life? You could rid Arda of one more killer."
"A killer who has repented," muttered the healer. "Maybe you have done awful things. I do not think there is anyone who can possibly deny that, but you were under the influence of overwhelming emotions: jealousy, anger. I see that now. Yes, it will be hard to get back to the way we used to be. But like Ada said, with time..."
Calaen smiled, though there was very little humour in his face. "Legolas, what of you? It is you whom I hurt the most."
The Prince shook his head, and looked down into his brother's eyes. "That does not matter at the moment. Let Airëlus heal you, then we can talk of everything after."
"If I am saved, I will have to live out the rest of my life with the knowledge of all that I have done," said Calaen weakly. "The memories will haunt me, and the dreams will never leave my head. I will forever be chased by the demons of my past. To die is....is a better option, do you not think?"
"Maybe he has a point," muttered Thranduil.
Airëlus sighed, and looked doubtful. "There is still time for me to help you, though it is growing short. It is against my will to not save your life, for that is now my job. If I let you die, I will be no more than a murderer. But, is death really what you want?"
"Yes, it is," whispered Calaen. He looked up then, into his younger brother's eyes. "Decide my fate, Legolas. I will leave it up to you."
"Don't," said the Prince quietly.
"If you want to keep me alive, then I will accept Airëlus' help," said Calaen. "But if you let me die, you will be saving me. To keep me alive would be subjecting me to a torture worse than death."
Legolas looked down at Calaen for a brief moment, before tightening his grip around him. "No, do not give up the chance for a new life."
"Maybe it would be a new life, but do not forget that it would also be an immortal one," said Calaen slowly. "I will spend millennia, remembering what I have done. I will be captured by the past, Legolas. Can you not understand that? Even if I were to erase the memories from my mind, the imprints would still be there. The past never dies."
"Yes," whispered the Prince. "Alright."
Calaen smiled genuinely then, and his face lit up for a second. "You have saved me. I do not deserve this. May the sun always shine on your path, my brother, for you have done what many could not."
Airëlus looked down at the youngest Elf there, and arched an eyebrow. "What have you done?"
"I have forgiven him," said Legolas quietly.
Thranduil looked ready to explode at that, though he clenched his fists behind him and said, "For everything?"
"Yes, for everything," replied the Prince.
'He is a better Elf than I could ever be. To forgive a torturer is....is one of the most admirable things someone could do,' thought Thranduil, gazing down proudly at his youngest son. He narrowed his eyes then, as he glanced at Calaen. 'But, I suppose that for a torturer to repent is quite an admirable feat also."
"Legolas," whispered Calaen, struggling to keep his eye from closing. "The clothes I wore when I was arrested, where are they?"
"Somewhere over there," replied the Prince, jerking his head in the general direction of a wardrobe. "Why?"
"There is something in my tunic, and I want you to have them. They rightfully belong to you anyway, but I took them as a reminder of all I had left behind," said Calaen quietly.
Airëlus had already gone over to where the clothes had been put, and he was sorting through them curiously. When he pulled something out from one of the tunic pockets, he laughed quietly, and turned back to the other Elves.
"Are these what you were talking about?"
"Valar..." breathed Legolas. He looked down at Calaen then, who was smiling vaguely. "How do you have these? I thought they would have been destroyed in the fire."
The dark haired Elf slowly shook his head. "No. They fell from your pocket in the clearing, and at one point I grabbed them. Maybe you were down on the ground. Anyway, I put them in my own pocket. But they belong to you, not me."
Thranduil looked down at the two leaves that were laid out flat in Airëlus' hand: one red-brown, the other green-yellow. They looked very old, but were not withered. In fact, they were far from it. Obviously they had been preserved in some substance so that they would never die. The King smiled vaguely, and watched as the two younger Elves spoke in hushed voices.
"Hannon le," said Legolas quietly.
Calaen shook his head briefly. "No, do not thank me for something so small. If anything, I should be the one thanking you. You have forgiven me, and you are allowing my soul to be set free. My brother, I never meant to hurt you."
"I know," breathed Legolas. "I know."
"I'm sorry. Forgive me...for everything," whispered Calaen. His eyes fluttered then, and a mist slowly entered them. He looked up at the younger Elf, and he smiled. "Goodbye."
Legolas' face remained impassive as his brother's body gave one last shudder, and then was still. However, when the green eyes closed once more, the Prince bowed his head and buried his face into the dark hair. He had never thought it would end this way. Calaen had returned to them, his soul had been cleansed. But then he had left. The Royal Family had been re- united, but then broken up again once more.
Thranduil looked down as his son held Calaen's body close to his own. To have the knowledge that one of your children has long been tormented by one of your other children is destructive, and to be able to forgive is near impossible to do. But now, Calaen was dead. The Elven-king could forgive.
Airëlus pulled his gaze away from his brother – no, brothers – and looked instead at the two leaves he held in his hand. He was not surprised that the death had come about; it had been inevitable, really, and he had prepared himself for it. Now that it was here though, he had been affected in a way he had not thought possible. Silvery tears were glistening in his eyes. Tears for himself, tears for Thranduil, tears for Legolas, and tears for Calaen.
Outside in the courtyard, there was an ancient tree in full blossom. Its boughs hung over the balcony, and shook slowly, as though in mourning for what had taken place. One of the branches shook more than all others though, and the leaves rustled almost soothingly. One of them fell down to the ground, so slowly that it was almost as though in a dream.
Airëlus smiled vaguely, and walked out through the open doors, the curtains gently caressing his fair hair as he moved. He knelt on the balcony floor, and picked up the fallen leaf. On closer inspection though, it was not a leaf. It was a flower, though it took the shape of any other leaf.
"It is white," murmured Thranduil, coming to stand behind his eldest son.
Airëlus nodded, and glanced back into the room. He let his gaze linger on Legolas, who was still holding his brother's body. "Yes, it is white. Calaen has found peace in death."
............................................................................................................
Haldir's Heart and Soul: Don't worry; Monday is here now, and with it: the new chapter!
Legolas-gurl88: Yeah, I was crying also, so you're not alone there! You know, I've never noticed that alphabetical thing, so thanks for pointing it out! It was very useful information! LOL
nanar: True, but at least Airëlus came back!
That Undomiel Chick: Yeah, switch to doughnuts. It's nice to have a change sometimes!
eleanor rigbey: Yeah, I'm very attached to Calaen also, which is weird cos he was so mean. But, oh well! He's sweet. That was quite contradictory.
Halimanya: Thanks for the compliment!
Hiei-Rulez: Don't worry, you'll hear some more about Tain in the chapter after next, so get your shovel ready!
GollumGirl: I'm so sorry they deleted your account. Did you save any of your work on your computer?
The Last Hope: I totally understand why you like Calaen, cos I really do also! And I'm glad you liked the chapter with him and Legolas, cos I definitely enjoyed writing it.
LalaithoftheBruinen: I'm so sorry for killing Aradan...and Calaen now. Yes, it was very evil. Lets have a moment of silence for them!
Ok, I am crying so much now, you wouldn't believe it. Some of you may be thinking that Calaen should've died straight away cos he stabbed himself in the heart, but it is possible to remain alive for a few minutes if you do that. Anyway, I am so sorry I killed him. I know I may have annoyed some people by killing him, but if he had lived, I would've annoyed other people. I felt it was time for him to go. However, I have already been asked to write an alternate ending. I will consider it if other people want one. Let me know. Misto